The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still water; he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the says of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. ~Psalm 23:1-6
Ten years ago today was a Tuesday. There is no doubt I can say it with absolute certainty without checking. The weather was absolutely perfect, nice warm breezes, clear skies, perfect. Around midnight, 12:00 am on Tuesday, October 23, 2001, I was going to go for a run. Sometimes, when I couldn’t sleep, I used to go running, even if it was in the middle of the night. My place of residence at the time was in a peaceful neighborhood that was very well lit and had sidewalks for safe running, except for the occasional unevenness. The police also knew me from running around the area. When running, day or night, they tended to drive past me regularly, checking in on me. At least that’s what I believed they were doing. Who knows, they could have thought I was a hoodlum and they were keeping tabs on me. Regardless, that was the day described to a tee. I had a hard time sleeping and I contemplated going to my parents house to get some shut eye. No matter what, I can always sleep at their house. I opted against going and decided to toss and turn. Aside from that, things were still good, my world was in tact, until a few hours later. Little did I know that I was going to receive a phone call that would permanently change my world forever.
It has been 10 years now since Ryan has left us on earth and moved toward eternity. You know, when you say it’s been 10 years, it seems so long ago, but for me and my family it still seems like yesterday. My friend Molly told me right after Ryan’s passing, “Everyone will tell you that in time it’ll be ok, it’ll get easier. They are full of S#@%! They have no idea. It will never get easier, just different.” You know, she was 100% right! I always thought of those words over the years and it helped. I think of Ryan everyday and I miss him terribly, everyday. But me and my family learned to adjust to this new direction life has taken us, just as everyone else does when faced with a tragedy.
My little brother, who was 21 months younger than me, was a really great guy. Ryan was a hard worker, friendly, and sincere with a big, big heart. He would have loved watching Kyle grow and he would have been a great father! Without a doubt, I know Ryan’s proud of Kyle.
I could go on and on about Ryan but I just simply wanted to say that he is missed and I can’t wait to see him again… down the road.