Why Is Everyone Yelling?

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.  ~August Wilson

Gram-Christmas-1979-Aunt-Heather-Piper

Gram doesn’t look too happy. She shouldn’t with that cigarette in her hand, especially around a kid, inside.  How selfish!  We should be yelling at her!  Christmas 1979

You know, I will admit television programming has gone down hill, at least from when I was a kid.  The days of watching The Brady Bunch and Wonder Woman are over.  Now don’t get me wrong, I like some of the shows and yes some are too violent in my opinion for Kyle to watch, however I enjoy them.

For the most part, all the shows, mostly the reality ones strike a never with me.  If you sit there and flip through the channels, everyone is yelling.  I mean disrespect, profanities, and sometimes shoving accompanies the yelling.  What is up with that?  I didn’t realize it till I was sitting there reading a book and listening to dad flip the channels.  Literally, it was yelling, turn channel, yelling, turn channel, yelling.  Friend is screaming at friend, neighbor fighting with neighbor, husband belittling wife (and visa versa), dad scolding son (and visa versa) and stranger hollering at another stranger.  What is so upsetting?

Example, Bar Rescue, Hardcore Pawn, Pawn Stars are even starting to belittle each other, Food Channel is usually pretty good but they are embracing the yelling culture during food challenges, Hell’s Kitchen, Hotel Impossible etc.  Come on, aren’t you trying to help the businesses or participants?  Is yelling really going to help?  Perhaps sometimes, but not ALL the time.  Let’s not get into the other reality shows like the Bachelor/Bachelorette, news channels, talk shows and those family reality shows.  Instead of respecting one another, they try and talk over the other person, or worse they will actually scream ‘Shut UP!’.  Rude!  The loudest voice is not necessarily the right one.  Again, I don’t watch these shows, but I’ve seen them in advertisements and I’ve caught glimpses during while surfing.

I guess that’s what sells, yelling and confrontations.  So in a way yelling equals money.  Perhaps I should have skipped college and worked on my arguing skills.

Granted, I really don’t watch that much television and when I do it involves The Big Bang Theory, Mike & Molly, Elementary, or The Originals.  I do enjoy the O’ Reilly Factor, he doesn’t yell!  In fact, he stops people from talking over one another and he doesn’t raise his voice in the process.  Intelligent civil debates I can handle, but yelling and finger pointing and blaming the world for your split ends is ridiculous.

The sad part is, no one is even hearing each other.  Sometimes they are not even making sense, they are just screaming for the sake of screaming or perhaps for the cameras.  Regardless, it’s distracting and I believe it’s toxic.  We wonder why there is so much violence and road rage?  Simple, anger is instilled in everyone, especially when you’re being brainwashed for hours a day in front of the boob tube.  You become calloused to the verbal violence and then it becomes natural.

When Kyle was little, he was NEVER allowed to say ‘Shut Up’ to anyone, EVER!  And if he raised his voice, he was timed-out or a mark was placed on his behavior chart.  I get it.  There are times when yelling is necessary, especially to drive a point home or get someone’s attention, but again NOT ALL the time.

In fact, I remember once when Nicole and I were arguing about Lord knows what.  Kyle had to be about three or so.  Nicole slapped me on the arm.  Not hard, but she did make the gesture out of frustration.  Kyle was mortified!  He went running to my mom and said, “Gigi, Gigi, Aunt Nitti hit Aiya for no reason!”  He even demonstrated the motion.  It was too cute actually, except he was obviously distraught over this behavior.  I truly believe he was changed at that moment, forever.  You can’t tell me that being in that environment, (not that I’m saying that’s a standard environment in our household) even though it was seriously very brief before we retreated to our corners for Kyle’s sake, doesn’t effect everyone in one way or another.  Granted Kyle didn’t and still doesn’t grow up in a violent household, at least not around us, but I’m sure many kids do.  It’s the point that even a brief moment of yelling and arguing effects everyone it encounters, let alone watching it for hours a day.

Mom-Have-a-Nice-Day-Aunt-Heather-Piper-c.-1980s

This is the best! Mom yelling while wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Have a Nice Day’! Too funny! c. 1980’s

My grandmother used to yell constantly, mostly to my grandpap, who was a quiet man.  Keep in mind, my grandma isn’t exactly the poster child for proper or nurturing behavior either.  Personally, I still hear enough yelling from my mom.  In fact, the older she gets the more she yells and not at specific instances, at EVERYTHING!  She’s embracing the yelling culture.  To be fair to mom, it’s not day and night like I’m making it sound, but at short stents, which again is too much for me.

As kids when we would get hurt, she’d yell at us first.  When we did something bad, understandably she’d yell.  Sometimes when we asked a question, she’d respond by yelling first.  Yikes!  Stop raising your voice!  Mom claimed that no one in her family ever fought or raised their voices, including my grandpap Chester, my Uncle Walter and Aunt Mary and the list goes on.  So what changed her?  My guess, marrying into the family and listening to my grandma.  Perhaps that’s the Risher (Alice Piper) trait.

My brother was never like that, he was more quiet, mirroring my pap, unless really really really provoked.  My dad is hit or miss, but he’s usually quiet unless again he’s pushed.  My sister on the other hand is great dealing with other people, but when it comes to the family, yelling all the way.

Why is it so important in our pop culture to scream and yell?  Granted, I am not innocent to such actions, but it takes me a while to get that fired up and it’s only over a good reason.  I will raise my voice and act out if I’m trying to make a point, usually including Kyle.  However, there are instances when I just plain loose my patience and go off the deep end, but those I attempt to manage, trying to keep my cool and not add to an environment of yelling.  It only puts everyone in a bad mood including myself and I hate being in a bad mood.

Seriously, I’ve heard it from many, with instances of calling the phone company or the cable company or a retail store or school.  Everyone is fired up and ready for a screaming battle.  Perhaps if they didn’t go into battle with that sort of expectation, then compromises would be made or solutions would be found sooner rather than later.

Even thinking about all the yelling does put me on edge.  I can’t be the only person who’s noticed it and who detests this form of communication.  Am I?

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posted by auntheather in Books, Movies, Shows,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience and have No Comments

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