Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for. ~Ogden Nash
Grades. I remember report card time. The stress of working your butt off to get the grade desired, or to be redeemed from a not-so-desirable past grade. All the studying, and all the writing, and all the preparation, to be judged by The Report Card. I do agree with this method of ranking a child in school. It gives them good benchmarks and goals to work toward. It’s also a way to see if a child is truly struggling and needs additional assistance, or if the teacher needs to be replaced. Certainly, not a foolproof method, but one universally accepted.
I’m a little late on talking about Kyle’s grades, well considering he’s been hiding them from me, so I guess I’m not. Kyle has been blowing me off when asked about his report card. I should have known this was going to be a struggle, considering I never saw the second quarter grades. Kyle’s response, “I don’t know what I did with it.” I bugged him and bugged him, till I finally said, “Well, I’ll be looking for the next one.” meaning the third quarter. I did manage to review that term, and yes the grades were already slowly slipping.
Getting a hold of his third quarter report card, was a chore unto itself. I remember my sister asking Kyle a very logical question, “Since you’re in advance math, maybe it’s getting too hard for you.” Kyle’s response, “Umm, na, I was just slacking a little but I’m getting back on track.” Keeping it real buddy! I can work with that honesty, assuming he truly meant it. However, I bet Kyle never realized that math is a subject that always builds upon itself, and continues to get harder and harder. So if a critical step in the learning process is missed, putting it simply, you’re screwed. The only way to catch up, is to go back and relearn or reiterate previous teachings to get back on track.
Apparently during this time, my sister called Kyle on the phone, and found out that he didn’t want to show me his report card because he dropped in two classes. He knew I would ground him and get on his case to ensure his homework was done and done correctly. Let me think on this… HECK YEAH! Personally, it makes me happy to find out that Kyle is afraid to show me his slipped grades. It proves that Kyle knows I mean business, and it also shows he’s aware of his wrongdoing. He knows what’s expected. He’s also treating me like an involved parent who cares. I’m good with that!
Good so far, except, this “fear” of me, which really means fear of not being able to play his video games. It also means he basically lied to me, and then covered it up, AND tried to get sympathy from my parents, sister and other family members, like I’m wrong in this scenario. Boy that kid is good, but I’m better!
Recently, I knew the final report card was out, and I had yet to see it. Did I ask for it? You bet I did! And asked, and asked and asked. Apparently, Kyle, “Didn’t know where it was.” and he “Wasn’t sure what his grades were.” I heard it all. I knew that was code for a slip in the grades, but to what extent, I had no idea. Please keep in mind, I do give Kyle grace with respect to some classes, since he’s in advanced math and advance science.
Finally, I got my hands on his grades, not only the forth quarter but also the year long averages. I now had an overview of all his grades and his progress during eighth grade. I had two words, NOT HAPPY! If he thinks he’s getting into Carnegie Mellon University for engineering with those grades, he has another thing coming. He’d be lucky to get accepted to community college, and everyone gets into community college.
What were his grades? Let’s just say, he’s been playing way too many video games. He went down in five classes, up in two, and maintained one-hundred percent in band. The overall grades weren’t terrible, but not great either. I won’t embarrass Kyle by calling anything out in particular, for the details are personal, just not acceptable. I need to get a handle on this kid, and fast. He’s way too smart to ruin his future because he’s being lazy. And his manipulation toward adult figures in his life isn’t helping him out. Sometimes I think I’m the only one seeing it. Hence, why he’ll say he’s afraid of me. He knows how to play the game to get everyone on his side and not be held accountable for his actions. No joke, I think I’m the only one seeing the whole picture, and truly wanting to help this kid. So, yes! I will take away his video games and lazy time and replace it with homework and additional school work reinforcement.
How was Kyle punished? I just found out he wasn’t. He was talked to but really, NOTHING! Literally nothing! In fact, early this summer he went on a cruise with his Aunt Nikki, and now he’s on another vacation, and his birthday is this week. He was never grounded, never had his video games taken away, nothing! I don’t like to punish the kid either, but this is for his own future and for a good reason. I care enough about Kyle to guide him in the right direction. The last thing I want to see is Kyle trying to get into a college of his dreams, and be declined due to a lack of sufficient grades. I think that’s just plain cruel and mean. Especially, when this could have been avoided in the first place.
I want more for Kyle. I want to see him succeed in life, and I’m not just talking about monetary value. I’m talking about happiness, and being a good person with high moral standards, and basic intelligence. I don’t want anyone to call him dumb or think he is, or worse, he thinks he is! I don’t want him to have stress and disappointment, even though I know it’s inevitable. I want him to fulfill his dreams and reach his goals. Not guiding the kid in the right direction now, and not encouraging and holding him accountable for his actions, is not helping meet any of these. In fact, it’s the easy way to parent, or lack of parenting.
First things first, I’ve been praying for my little man. He needs it. Next, I need to devise a plan of action to get Kyle back into the game. Not an easy task, but again Kyle’s totally worth it. Anyone have any ideas to assist Kyle bring up his grades for next year, specially with Algebra II? He’s going into the ninth grade.