Archive for the 'Video Games & Games' Category

Respecting A Seemingly Wrong Decision

There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk.  ~Guy Gavriel Kay

Kyle Wed Competiton 9-21-16 Aunt Heather Piper

Kyle before a Competition on a Wednesday. 9/21/2016

After Kyle’s birthday celebration I found out that he was quitting the marching band. What? Unfortunately, yes.  I was beyond devastated for many reasons. Fear he was going to sit at home and play more video games and not get any exercise, miss out on travel and friendship opportunities plus miss out on all the other benefits marching band offers. Those are my fears but they’re also reality.

How did I find out? Sadly, not through Kyle, which really upset me knowing how much I was involved with the marching band and how much I loved and supported his activity. I tried to put aside my own personal hurt to think rationally and understand what’s best for Kyle. Honestly, marching band came to the top of the list with every thought.

When Kyle didn’t show for the Memorial Day parade I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. But according to his fellow band mates and everyone else involved, Kyle was continuing his marching band experience. Kyle told me he was sick and that’s the reason he wasn’t in attendance. Now, I believe it wasn’t the truth or maybe not the entire truth.

A good friend of mine used to say, “In the absence of information everyone assumes the worse.” Heck yes! I wanted to know what made Kyle to an about face. Is he involved with the wrong crowd? Is he having depression issues? Did someone do or say something to him to make him go the other direction? Was he as a spiteful pawn piece? Is he getting lazy? Health issues popped into my head too. In fact, a huge array of possibilities came to the forefront. Now, which one or ones were true? I might never know.

Without getting too upset, I tried to convince Kyle other. Although during my strong arguments, I realized he was remaining steadfast to his discussion no matter what. But like I told him, “If I wouldn’t care for you, I wouldn’t point out what you’d be missing out on and explain your decision from all angels.” Kyle was a good sport and let me get it out without resistance. He really is maturing.

First and foremost, I stated the obvious, in case it wasn’t apparent to him. Once he quit he’ll never ever get that back. Ever. He can’t go back and gain his junior year experience. That point truly broke my heart. I loved being in band and so did Kyle. What changed? I have no idea. He was so dedicated to the band, loved bringing home the medals and spending time with those students. He respected the instructors and the parents.

Piper family pic at DeNunzios for Kyle's bday 7-30-17 Aunt Heather Piper

Family pic during Kyle’s birthday brunch at DeNunzio’s. 7/30/2017

To drive my point home, I exclaimed, “Kyle, if you said to me, ‘I think I’m going to take a year off before going to college. I’d say, okay buddy, do your thing.’ because you can get that back. You’re not missing out on anything, only postponing it. Quitting the marching band is lost forever.” Kyle rebutted with a simple, “I know.”

One of his excuses was he wanted to spend more time on his studies, very admirable and totally full of crap. Marching band basically consumes the first quarter, notoriously the easiest quarter of the entire year. That’s the best time to be involved in an activity. Now I want to see straight “A”s.

Next I moved onto college. I stated, “You know colleges want to see extra activities in addition to good grades. They want to see a well-rounded student and he’ll need letters of recommendation.” I asked him what he planned on doing in place of marching band. He said, “I don’t know yet. I don’t know what’s offered.” Confused I said, “What do you mean? School activities aren’t a secret, what do you want to get involved with?” Kyle shrugged his shoulders and I knew that was code for he wasn’t planning on doing anything. It was just an excuse.

Another good point, Kyle mentioned that he was planning on staying at home and going to college locally to save money. Nicole and I both agree he should move out and get the full college experience. After all, Kyle still gets money every month from my brother, which I guess was kept a secret from him until I spilled the beans and Dad backed me up recently. It’s one thing if he doesn’t have the money, but he does and that money was meant for Kyle, no one else. I retorted, “Kyle you’re worrying about saving money for college when you could get a scholarship from marching band?” Kyle’s response, “I know.” Really? Things aren’t adding up.

Kyle said he was told to get a job to pay for car insurance. What? Who told you that? While I respect making Kyle earning his way through life and taking responsibility for privileges like driving, but not at the expense of his high school experience, especially one that’s so good for him. Again, it’s one thing if he didn’t have the money, but he does. Again, that money is solely for him, to directly help him out, not to support anyone else for any reason. I hope he has money set aside for college.

Wondering if that was another excuse, I offered to pay for his car insurance. Did he bite? Nope. If I were his age I would have. Now I’m realizing that he was not budging and he really didn’t want to be involved in the band. I was getting worried. What made him do a three-sixty overnight?

Greater-Latrobe-Marching-Band-Pirates-of-Penzance-1993-94-Aunt-Heather-Piper

Greater Latrobe Marching Band Theme: The Pirates of Penzance. I was the blue pirate on the far left. Great times! 1993

To paint the picture even further, I explained how marching band was your extended family and you’ll have those friends forever. All of the memories and experiences are invaluable. I told him he’s a part of a team and they needed him. He was essential to the quality of the marching band. He just shrugged again.

Quitting was another point that really bothered me. He was in marching band for two years and then quit halfway through? I don’t want Kyle to learn to be a quitter. I want to see him stick a commitment through. Also, he quit pretty much right before band camp. Which means, the drills were outlined and they were counting on him. He was letting down the instructors and his classmates. I don’t want Kyle to be that kid yet he was.

Now the biggie, I moved around my events for Thrill of the Hunt to accommodate his band schedule, so I could be involved and support him. Did I tell him? I did, but I prefaced it with “Now I know this isn’t your fault at all but I did move around my events to accommodate your band schedule.”   He seemed shocked and worried, like I was going to use my decision against him. That wasn’t my intent. Again, I wanted to further show how important band was and demonstrate my full support for his activity.

As a last ditch effort, I asked Kyle if he would stay in if I stopped chaperoning?  (Even though I really enjoyed it) He said that wasn’t it. I reiterated that I didn’t mind and it wasn’t a big deal.   He said that wasn’t the reason.

Well as it turns out, I’m not chaperoning without Kyle.  I wouldn’t mind, but it would tear me apart seeing him miss out.  However, if they need me to help out, I told them I would oblige. I’m still helping to manage their social media.

A few weeks ago band camp was in full swing. It tore me in two knowing the hard work and all the fun the students were having without Kyle. Instead, he was at home probably lying around playing video games. That truly bothered me. If he was reading, or doing research into his potential field of study or working to save money, I can accept that, something constructive. But being lazy and waiting for an activity to strike his fancy doesn’t sit well with me. I mean, even if he said, he really wanted to get involved in XYZ activities, that’s a plan and I get the trade off. Going from something to nothing is never a good idea.

Kyle is at the age where he wants to control his life and make his own decisions. Understood. However, he’s still too young to see the bigger picture, realize consequences and see good and missed opportunities. This entire situation is very frustrating and honestly nauseating.

When I spoke to friends and mentioned Kyle’s decision, they all got the same shocked face I once sported, now mines just confusion and upset. Everyone knew how much he loved and was involved in the marching band and to turn his back on all that was a confusing. Everyone also got the same sick feeling things weren’t right. Something underlying was wrong.

On the other hand, I’ve always tried to respect and support Kyle’s decisions but when it seems to be the wrong choice, it’s really hard. Granted, no one knows the future. All we can do is sit back, pray, and let life unfold and be as supportive as possible. Maybe Kyle chose correctly and maybe he didn’t. As long as he doesn’t have any regrets and he’s happy, then so am I.

I was told from a very wise retired teacher, the best way to teach a kid is to let them fail, essentially fall and then help them get back up with love. I would rather Kyle make his mistakes now with minor instances than big ones later in life. I hope the words “I told you so” never escape my mouth, for mistakes are sometimes the best lessons and sometimes offers the greatest opportunities.

Kyle started school on Thursday.  I texted him and called  him to wish him luck.  No response.  I do miss the days I’d see him off for the first day of school and he was excited to see me.  Kyle loved going to school.  I think it was the combination of learning, socializing and simple structure and authority figures, something he was in short demand.

God Speed Kyle, I’m always here when you need me.

 

Note about the quote:

Guy Gavriel Kay was a Canadian fantasy author. Christopher Tolkien hired him to help edit his father J.R.R. Tolkien’s unpublished work.

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posted by auntheather in Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Hiking & Outdoors,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Our Marvel(ous) Bond

It is better to arm and strengthen your hero, than to disarm and enfeeble your foe.  ~Anne Brontë

kyle-in-band-nemeis-2016-aunt-heather-piper

Kiski Marching Band performing Nemesis! Kyle is the left trombone in the trio. 10/2016

Life contains those subtle special moments that can be easily overlooked.  Personally, I love those moments, and this one really melted my heart.  I’d thought I’d share.

I had Kyle this past Sunday.  Actually, I also spent last weekend with him too!  When I picked Kyle up he seemed a bit cranky, but even toned for the most part.  I didn’t make a big deal of his attitude because I was excited to spend the day with him and I chalked it up to being tired.

Honestly, we don’t get Kyle too often anymore, not like when he was kid.  Kyle spent a lot of time with us, more than half time.  When his presence graces us nowadays, I can’t stop smiling.  Just having Kyle around puts me in such a good mood (as long as his attitude is subsided).  I miss my busy little teenager.

aunt-heather-piper-in-port-angeles-restaurant-5-2012

Me in Bella Italia Restaurant in Port Angeles, Washington 5/2012

Kyle didn’t really want to do anything in particular.  I offered to take him for a hike, rollerskating and to the movies, but he wanted to hang out, mostly to play video games on his phone.  Not my idea of a fun day, but we were both vegging on the couch and catching up on a little television.  Still a nice bonding time, especially since I wasn’t going to see Kyle until Thanksgiving since Dad and I were going hunting in New York this weekend.

First we started to watch Mysteries at the Museum.  One of my Sunday favorites.  I loved watching Kyle pause his game to give his full attention to the history taught in the form of a half hour show.  I can’t remember what other shows we watched, but it was a nice relaxing start to our day.  Eventually, we agreed upon Iron Man, especially since we caught it at the beginning.

I took Kyle to see all the Iron Man movies in the theater, in addition to most of the Marvel movies.  We’re both big fans of movies and we love our superheros.

Sadly, like an old person, I started to doze off, to be abruptly awakened by Kyle.  What happened?  Kyle spotted Stan Lee, as he always makes his cameo appearances in the Marvel movies.

It wasn’t a passing comment.  No. Kyle actually paused the movie, got up to walk over to me, to shake my shoulder to get my fullest attention.  He wasn’t malicious in any way, but excited to show me his findings.

In a daze, I blinked and followed his finger as he pointed toward the television screen.  It was perfectly paused on Stan Lee.  I smiled and said, “Yep, there he is!  Good eye buddy.”  Kyle continued, “Yep, I saw him in Dr. Strange too!”

kyle-helping-to-plant-a-paw-paw-tree-12-6-2015-aunt-heather-piper

Kyle helping to plant the Paw Paw tree at Gigi & Pappy’s 12/6/2015

Okay.  Is this really a big deal?  Maybe not to anyone one else but it was to me.  You see, I’ve always told Kyle to look out for Stan Lee, ever since we started watching the Marvel movies.  I taught him who the man was and his importance to the comic book world.  I’ve always pointed the guy out with every movie and commercial.

Kyle’s gesture showed that he does pay attention to what I say, even though it’s pretty trivial.  It also showed me that our bond is still as tight as ever and he wanted to share his movie night with his friends with me.

Recently, Kyle went to the movies accompanied with his friends to watch Dr. Strange.  I wanted to take Kyle, as tradition dictates, but alas my teenager had other plans.  No problem. I get it.

It was really neat to hear Kyle excited to tell me he spotted Stan Lee in the Dr. Strange movie.  Why didn’t he tell me earlier when I asked him how the movie was and who he went to the movies with, when I picked him up?  My guess, he didn’t think of it and I think he was still rubbing sleep from his eyes.  Once he saw Stan Lee in Iron Man, it triggered his memory and Kyle couldn’t wait to tell me the news and interest we share together.

As silly as this story sounds, it really means something to me.  Kyle and I are still a team, and those roots can’t easily be ripped up and destroyed, by no one.  He’s a good kid and I’m very blessed to have him in my life!

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posted by auntheather in Books, Movies, Shows,Education & Learning,Family,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

A Visit to Google Pittsburgh

Being a nerd, which is to say going too far and caring too much about a subject, is the best way to make friends I know.  ~Sarah Vowell

Google Pittsburgh Tour 7-27-16 Aunt Heather Piper

Andrew Widdowson, Barb Planinsek, Kyle Piper, Duncan Jones & Me at Google offices in Pittsburgh at Bakery Square 7/27/16

This past Wednesday, I wanted to surprise Kyle and do something for his birthday, which is tomorrow.  Summer is nearly over, especially when Kyle begins bandcamp and I’ve hardly seen my little vacationer since school let out.  This weekend he’s heading to Virginia, deep south with my parents and family friends to go catfishing, at night.  (Actually, they left a few hours ago.)  Skirting around all the plans, Wednesday felt like the most opportune time to spend a day with Kyle.  Done.

With the help of a family friend, Barb Planinsek, we made arrangements to tour the Google offices in Pittsburgh.  You see Barb’s nephew, Andrew, is employed by Google and chose to work in Pittsburgh this summer. (Nephews are the best!)  He travels all around the world for his job, but is headquartered in Mountainview, California.  Of course I couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

Unbeknownst to Kyle, the plans for Wednesday were made months prior, when I met Andrew at the Fishing Derby in May.  Naturally, upon hearing who Andrew’s employer was, I instantly thought, Touring Google Pittsburgh would be a great experience for Kyle and a perfect birthday activity!  I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I think I was right.  Although, trying to get excitement out of that kid is hard, but by golly I saw it during our tour!

Unfortunately, because of everyone’s schedules, Wednesday was planned on Tuesday.  Not ideal but it worked out.  My goal was to surprise Kyle with an experience most don’t have, give him an educational activity he’d enjoy, and begin networking him for his future.  Bonus!

Kyle & Duncan at Google Pittsburgh 7-27-16 Aunt Heather Piper

Kyle & Duncan tour the Google offices in Pittsburgh as a birthday surprise! 7/27/16

Andrew kindly moved his day around to accommodate us.  Barb and I were on board from the beginning.  Now came the hard part, Kyle.  I tried calling, to let him know I arranged a surprise for him, but he never answered the phone. I thought about texting, and chose another route.  Initially, I was toying with the idea that Kyle might enjoy the experience more with a friend.  During the planning process, I got a hold of Jennifer, Kyle’s good friend Duncan’s mother.  (If you can follow that.)  She was more than happy to lend us her son for the day.  In fact, Duncan was in on the secret and helped me align Kyle.  Plus, Duncan was excited about the adventure too.

All day Tuesday, Jennifer kept me posted to Kyle’s responses to Duncan.  Duncan called Kyle and said he was coming over Wednesday morning around 7:30 am for a surprise.  I was told Kyle’s response was, “If I’m getting up early I want to know why.”  Boy is that kid stubborn!  Duncan remained steadfast and never told Kyle who was picking them up, and what they were doing.  Eventually, later in the day, I was told Kyle was intrigued about the surprise.  I believe he was excited because when I showed up on Wednesday, he was ready to roll.  He even tried to hide a smile from his lips, though I’m quick and I saw it!  I too was grinning from ear to ear ready to jump out of my skin.

Heading west, we eventually made our way to Bakery Square in Pittsburgh.  We stopped and had breakfast, figuring the boys would be hungry before our ultimate activity.  We actually had time to waste, since I didn’t know what traffic was going to be like, and we were so close to Shadyside, we headed to the area for some exploration.  What did the boys do with their freedom to shop and money in their hands?  They played Pokemon Go.  At least I got Kyle out moving around and he seemed to be in a pretty good mood.

Duncan & Kyle playing Pokemon Go in Shadyside 7-27-16 Aunt Heather Piper

Duncan & Kyle playing Pokemon Go in Shadyside before our Google Pittsburgh tour 7/27/16

Once we made our way back to Bakery Square and entered the lobby, Kyle read the list of companies on the elevator wall, while I told the guard we were heading to the seventh floor.  Even Kyle couldn’t miss the bright bold letters that read “Google”, seventh floor.  Then, suddenly without warning it happened again.  True happiness in the form of a smile left Kyle and was spotted!  Kyle’s smirk is like the elusive Sasquatch, it has been rumored to make its appearance and then vanish before your eyes.  Now I can say I was a first hand witness!  The facial gesture was something between ornery, knowing the secret, and being truly excited.  It was at that moment, I was honestly happy.

We get to the lobby and naturally I want to start snapping pictures.  Kyle wasn’t pleased about this part of our trip, but complied with minimal resistance.

Andrew met us at the front door and passed out our name tags, while I did the formal introductions.  Would you believe Kyle didn’t remember meeting Andrew at the Fishing Derby?  I made it a point to introduce him and of course his employer.  That kid cracks me up.

Andrew did a great job with the tour!  He shared his own personal stories and fun facts about Google, especially Google Pittsburgh.  I knew Andrew was the perfect tour guide, but what I didn’t expect is what I saw in the offices.  Wow.  In a separate post, I’ll explain later.  You would not believe.  Now it was my turn to be surprised.

Once the tour came to a close it was lunch time.  We joined Andrew in the “cafeteria” which resembled an upscale restaurant, with stations of gourmet food, real plates and utensils, a variety of infused waters, and restaurant quality tables and chairs, and booths.

Our lunch was fantastic!  Plus, it was all free.  Google has a full kitchen staff, including a quality chef to prepare these, nutritious (mostly aside from the desserts), delicious meals for all its employees as a perk.  There was so much, Andrew had to walk us around and show us everything, including the corner of the room where they grew some fresh vegetables and herbs.  Seriously?  Yes!

Not to downplay the tour, which is impossible, but the best part of the day was our conversation during lunch.  Andrew continued telling us about his job and sharing stories, always projecting enthusiasm.  You can tell he genuinely loves what he does, and is proud of his accomplishments at Google, which he should be.  Kyle and Duncan even stepped out of their comfort zone to ask questions, but mostly they listened.

Kyles birthday celebration at Google Pittsburgh 7-27-16 Aunt Heather Piper

We celebrated Kyle’s 15th birthday at Google Pittsburgh, Bakery Square 7/27/16

After we ate lunch, we sang Happy Birthday to Kyle and celebrated with cupcakes.  On Tuesday, during the planning stages, I ordered cupcakes from a local bakery and had them delivered for another little surprise twist.  I knew we were eating lunch there and I thought it would be fun to celebrate Kyle’s fifteenth birthday at Google Pittsburgh.  Yes, I even brought candles!  (Although, I forgot the matches, which Barb reminded me of when we were in Shadyside.  I bummed a pack from a smoker who worked in a bar.)

On a side note, I didn’t realize there are roughly five hundred employed in Google Pittsburgh.  I was going to order a sheet cake, thinking we’d share with everyone in the office.  Nope.  Besides, they’re well stocked with sweet treats, I’m sure they didn’t miss the cupcakes.

During the course of the Google experience, I noticed Kyle and Duncan were never distracted by their phones or video games (at least not that I was aware of).  They listened to Andrew and seemed interested in what he was saying, even during lunch.  I think the day was a success.  Now I’m starting to make plans for Kyle’s next birthday.  It’s a big one, his sixteenth.

After we said our goodbyes, we headed to Station Square to get on a Ducky Tour of Pittsburgh, keeping with the theme.  Unfortunately, the next ride was booked up.  I did make reservations the day prior, but I cancelled for fear we might not make the departure time.  I didn’t want to rush us out of Google.  It was a hot day and I could tell the boys had enough anyway.  We headed home.  It didn’t take them long to fall asleep.

On a side note, besides giving Kyle a memorable experience, there was just an equally great part to the adventure.  It was rubbing our personal tour of Google in my sister’s face, and continuing my claim to the coolest aunt!  At least that’s what I told her.

I hope Kyle and Duncan had a great day.  Happy Birthday Kyle!

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posted by auntheather in Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Escape Room Experience

Shut your eyes and see.  ~James Joyce

Escape Room Latrobe 5-29-16 Aunt Heather Piper

Me, Kyle & Aunt Nikki at Escape Reality in Latrobe, escape room. We nearly had it… 5/29/16

I’m a little late in telling about our escape room experience two weekends ago, but I believe it’s never too late to tell a good story.

Why am I so late?  Between Thrill of the Hunt, my garden, the bees, and just keeping up on every day life, the hours are limited and the days run together.

On May 28th I had the Dog Gone! Scavenger Hunt in Winchester, Virginia.  It was a great event!  Shortly after wrapping up, I headed back to Latrobe, knowing my sister came home and Kyle was hanging out for the weekend.  My parents were camping, so it was an eventful weekend of the three of us.

Saturday night Nicole, Kyle and myself went to see X-Men: Apocalypse.  Nicole wanted to see Captain America: Civil War, however I took Kyle the weekend prior, which was his second time seeing the movie anyway.  Regardless, we had a nice time.

Now the big highlight of the weekend, Sunday, Nicole made reservations for us at Escape Reality in Latrobe.  You know those increasingly popular facilities that create a mystery to solve, and riddles and puzzles to figure out, in order to escape a locked room?  None of us had ever participated in an escape room, and certainly not in Latrobe.  Why not?

At this particular facility, six people were permitted in a group.  No one else signed up to join our trio, so the pressure was on.  We had the room to ourselves!  They had two different experiences, The Discovery or The Experiment.  We chose The Experiment, whereas we were captured by a doctor who spent his life trying to find a cure for the common cold.  Sounds good!

Four square check in Aunt Heather Piper 5-28-16

This was my check in on Four Square when we went to the movies… I thought this was hilarious! 5/28/16

Upon arrival and check in, we were given safety instructions and basic overall goals of the event.  They informed us no one has yet to escape the room without the assistance of clues.  During our hour long mystery experience, we were permitted to ask for clues to move us along.  How did we ask?  Simply by saying, “We need a clue.”  Each room is equipped with security cameras, as well as a monitor.  The wall mounted monitor displays the remaining time through a countdown.  It also communicates with the participants by typing messages to us or giving us clues.  The monitor also keeps a tally of the clues requested and those left.  I believe we were permitted to ask for six different clues.

Upon entering the relatively gloomy windowless room,  I immediately felt like I was placed in our story.  It was fairly chilly and almost creepy.  The facility stated that anything not bolted down is permitted to be moved and investigated and used for clues.  Great.

Surprisingly, Kyle wasn’t shy about digging in a getting started.  He was the first to really go to town, opening up drawers and digging through papers.  Nicole and I simply laughed at his sudden enthusiasm.  Prior to arriving he was very blasé and didn’t seem to care about hanging out with his aunts.  He was also very adamant about his plans later in the day, the typical Kyle.  Well, all that changed the minute we were locked in the room and the clock started ticking.

Honestly, I was the one who wasn’t aggressively looked through the supplied material.  I felt like I was prying in someone’s person stuff and it took me a while to get past that aspect.  Once I did, I was totally on board.

At first we didn’t really work as a team, but instead scattered independently trying to find the first clue or something that pointed toward a clue.  Kyle surprised us by literally crawling all over the floor, digging in every drawer, and even pulling out a variety of coins from a bowl and counting the change to see if the total dollar amount was a clue.  He was on a mission and he did a great job!  Kyle was able to look at the room from a different perspective that scored us our first major clue, a notebook of clues hidden under the desk.  Nicole and I looked at each other with wide eyes and the biggest surprise ever.  The funny part?  Kyle missed the clues leading him to the notebook, he only found the leather bound note pages stuffed under the desk.  While he was down there digging under the desk, I commented, “You look like your in National Treasure.”  Kyle didn’t care, he was focused.

Eventually, we found a few more clues that lead us to others and others.  Kyle scored us with another major breakthrough, without the aide of a previous clue.  He actually found words written in invisible ink on the baseboard around the room!  Seriously!   Among the phrases were missing letters, which contained letters to another clue.  Soon we opened a lock box that housed the black light.  A little late, but the fun of turning out the lights and using the black light to read the glow-in-the-dark letters was worth it.  It really made the experience and Kyle beamed with excitement.

At one point there were two lock boxes with four digit number combinations.  We found a four digit number that we hoped would unlock one of them.  Kyle tried the one lock and I the other.  However, due to Kyle’s due diligence, we realized that even with the correct lock combination, I still couldn’t open a lock.  After Kyle checked my work and realized I failed the test, I got the famous Kyle eye roll and ornery grin.  That’s my buddy!  Apparently, I’m lock challenged too.

I swear the entire time Nicole was stressed out and couldn’t handle the countdown of the clock, while Kyle was anxious and very energetic.  Those two cracked me up.  Eventually, we began working as a team, as we found more clues and answers were revealed.  That was exciting, getting closer to solving the riddles.

Did we escape?  Nope.  We were told we were about half way, using all six of our clues.  At the end, they asked us if we wanted to know the answer.  In unison, all three of us said, “NO!”  Actually, at first Nicole asked, “How often do you update the rooms?”  When they commented, “About once a year.” we chose to make plans to come back, take on the challenge and figure it out ourselves.

One the way home, we even recapped our discoveries and how we came to them, committing the event to memory to be later called upon.

Everyone was very nice and energetic.  I was impressed how they created the clues and guided us from one clue to the next.  They were very mindful of details, which really made the experience.  I hope we turn this into a yearly tradition, if not more often.  Maybe we can start hitting up different locations.

Nicole and I agreed that Kyle was the biggest surprise.  He basically mopped the floor, and really dove in without reservation.   I highly recommend trying an escape room.  Being a scavenger hunt enthusiast, I love solving puzzles and the adventure of it all.  I’d love to incorporate an escape room to one of my scavenger hunts.  Maybe in the future.

All that fun spoiled me.  The following weekend Kyle didn’t grace us with his presence at all.  I know he wanted to do his own thing, but I do miss him terribly when I don’t see him.  Maybe now that summer is upon us and school is out, he’ll surprise us by wanting to do more, or not.

posted by auntheather in Books, Movies, Shows,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Thrill of the Hunt Scavenger Hunts,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Report Card. How Do I Help?

But Montague is bound as well as I,
In penalty alike, and ’tis not hard, I think,
For men so old as we to keep the peace.  ~Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare (1.2.1-3)

Kyle Christmas Eve 12-24-15 Aunt Heather Piper

Kyle opening gifts on Christmas Eve 12/24/15

Kyle is such a stinker, and he’s driving me absolutely batty!  Granted his attitude has certainly taken a slightly uphill turn, but there are issues lurking in the shadows that everyone one seems to turn a blind eye to (except me), yet need addressed, immediately.  I am somewhat laughing over the details of the situation, even though it’s not really funny.  What now?  Kyle’s ninth grade second quarter report card.

Over the summer, we made a deal, if he brings up his math grade, then he wouldn’t need a tutor, one I paid for. A Dip in the Grades / Teenager vs. Aunt Heather – Part 1 Math Tutor.  Being the reasonable Aunt Heather that I am, I agreed, even though he moaned and complained about going, every time, and only gave half effort.  Whatever.

The moment of truth was revealed last Monday.  On a side note, I love how Kyle still tries to hide his report from me, like I can’t find out or perhaps I’m going to forget, not probable.  I don’t forget, and I won’t waiver when it comes to Kyle’s well-being.  The verdict?  His Geometry grade did come up slightly, as did his Biology.  Great!  That’s a step in the right direction.  It’s wasn’t by leaps and bounds, but I’m still happy and a deals a deal.

Now what’s the problem?  A few other subjects dropped.  When I told him to bring up those problematic subjects, I didn’t mean sacrifice the other subjects to do so.  My heart is truly broken.  Why?  The subjects that dropped, and I mean considerably, were US History II and Honors English I, two my favorite subjects.  First of all, history doesn’t change!  Read the material, memorize a few details and done.  It should be an easy grade.  Kyle loves reading, what could be so difficult?  When I asked Kyle about said subjects, he simply shrugged his shoulders.

How Kyle views his Aunt Heather Piper

Teenage years are a struggle for us all! Since I’m always fighting an uphill battle, this is what it feels like every time I need to discuss anything of importance with Kyle….

Honestly, I never took note that all of Kyle’s classes were honors classes, which I do give grace.  However, I will never accept below average.  I about fell out of my seat when I saw the English grade, especially when it originated from a solid B.

Even better, Kyle informed me he was getting a little extra help.  Obviously, that wasn’t working.  In a very calm yet confused voice I asked, “Kyle, why didn’t you call me for help?”  His response, “I don’t know.”  There was more to it than that, but my blog isn’t about pointing fingers and I don’t need additional family drama.  The gist of his explanation included a college degree, although not specialized in English or literature.  It’s true, I don’t have my masters degree, but I do have two undergrad degrees from Seton Hill University.  Not to mention, I write, that’s what I do.  I’m in marketing and I write, ad copy, television and radio scripts, press releases, articles, stories, testimonials, website copy, I ghost write blogs in addition to mine and the list goes on.  I’ve even written books!  Although, unbeknownst to Kyle (a surprise for later).  Wanting to find the root problem, Kyle informed me he’s required to write a lot of papers.  To prove my worthiness, I explained my qualifications and I even explained I was on the deans list.  I’m not just talking out my butt and making a claim I can’t back up.  If I don’t know something, I’ve always been honest with him, and I’ll gladly admit to it, hence the math tutor.   How frustrating!  What does that kid think I do all day?

With sincerity and confidence, I told Kyle I can help him get his grade back up by the next quarter.  I asked him to please call me with the next assignment.  Kyle’s response?  He shrugged his shoulders and clearly wasn’t about to ask me for help.  Why?  I have no idea.  Again, I believe there’s more issues lurking in those shadows that he’ll never admit, it’s called ego, pride and self-esteem, not on Kyle’s behalf.  Personally, if I was a teenager with an attitude, I’d want to see my aunt take the challenge, either to fall miserably to rub it in, or to assist me with my grade.  Either way, Kyle wins!  Not Kyle, he doesn’t want to succeed if it means I’m helping.  He should at least call my sister.  She may not be a creative writer, but she’s an excellent technical writer and elegant with the written word.

Kiski Band getting ready for Bands of America 2015 Aunt Heather Piper

This picture was online in the paper showing Kiski Band getting ready for Bands of America 2015

All his grades weren’t bad.  In fact, his Band and P.E. remained at an A+ status.  Times have changed, in elementary school, P.E. was Kyle’s only class he didn’t excel.  I even told him, “Kyle just look like you’re sweating and I bet you’ll get an A.  Run around and show a little effort.”  Since Kyle’s in the marching band, I would hope his Band grade would be nothing less than stellar.

I know all grades are important, especially keeping up his GPA for college, but I’m picking my battles with the Video Game Design I class.  It too dropped a letter grade.  I’ve asked Kyle what they’re working on, and he never did give me a real answer.  Perhaps, that’s why his grade dropped, due to a lack of attentiveness.  Moving on.

Now one class I’m in a little shock, yet I’m very proud of, a class his grade increased, Chinese I.  At one point in the conversation, I said something along the lines of, “Your English tanks, but your Chinese gets better?  How is that possible?”  I know I said it as a half joke.  I was a bit confused and yet astounded.  I’ll admit we both laughed over that revelation.  Come one, how can you not?  His native language is English, yet he’s improving in Chinese?  My guess?  He needs to work at it, and chose not to give up.

This past week I contacted his tutor, who is a great lady and I’d highly recommend her, to cancel our tutoring until the next report card.  She understood and was very kind about giving me requested advice.  She simply said Kyle has to want to bring up his grades and has to want to earn them.  She also stated the obvious, that he needs to mature.  Little does she know, we Piper’s mature late, ever.   She’s right on all accounts.  But how can I just sit back and accept this?  The answer.  I guess I need to do some heavy praying.

Honestly, I don’t have a problem with who’s helping Kyle, as long as it’s working.  If not, then it’s time to consider another option.  It’s about what’s best for this young man.  I don’t care if Kyle chooses the family dog over my help, as long as it works.  I wish they’d give out grades for stubbornness and blasé behavior because Kyle would ace those every time.

Kyle during a band performance 10-23-15 Aunt Heather Piper

Kyle getting ready for a Kiski Band performance on their home field. 10/23/15

I love Kyle so much, I want him to succeed at anything he does.  He’s already expressed an interest in going to Carnegie Mellon University for engineering and I want to see that come to fruition.  Perhaps the tutor is right, he needs to find his own path.  Of course, that doesn’t mean step back entirely, because he still needs guidance and help along the way.

Am I pushing too hard?  If you could see what I’ve seen, you wouldn’t think so.  When Kyle was around four or five, he could add up a few items at the store and figure out the tax before the register gave the total.  By that age, I got him a wooden puzzle of the United States.  He could tell the state by the shape, show where it was located, name the capital and give a fun fact about each.  No he’s really bright, he just needs encouraged by the right people.

This quote was not by happenstance.  Kyle was working on Romeo and Juliet this quarter during English class.  Basically, Lord Capulet comes to terms with his age and doesn’t want to be apart of the family feud any longer.  He remains a peacekeeper from here on out.  Not saying that I’m old, not in the slightest, but I’m saying perhaps I need to assist from the sidelines.

posted by auntheather in Books, Movies, Shows,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Still Adjusting to the Loss of Ryan, 14 Years Later

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seemed filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster  ~Elizabeth Bishop

September 24, 1977 – October 23, 2001

St. Vincent -Confirmation Piper Family Aunt Heather Piper 1990

Mom, me (8th grade), Dad, Ryan (6th grade) & Gram at my Confirmation at St. Vincent Basilica. Ryan served mass 1990

Years after loosing Ryan, I know I retreated in many ways.  I think I was trying to … actually, I have no idea what I was trying to do.  I don’t truthfully know why I distanced myself in many ways, for it wasn’t a conscience decision, it just happened.  Most would say I was dealing with my loss.  True.  I also focused all of my energies on Kyle.  True.  But really, I’ve seen other people deal with loss and travel down different paths.  I guess this is the road I was chosen to trek.

Ryan’s death affected everyone differently.  It’s definitely, not just about my family and myself.  Nope, his loss included distant family, friends of the family, Ryan’s friends, my friends, and unbeknownst to him, Ryan’s son Kyle, among others near and far.

As the years tally up, and I leave my personal cocoon, I run into signs of the pain as a result of Ryan’s death, even after all this time.  Some are literal signs.  Example, Ryan’s one friend Jacob (or his brother Luke) has a tattoo on his leg marking Ryan’s date he departed us.  Another friend of mine and Ryan’s, Danielle, named her daughter after Ryan.  This is a common theme, for I’ve ran into a few people who did just that, including Ryan’s friend Travis (I think it was him).  It’s a very sweet and heartwarming gesture.  I hope Kyle realizes just how much his dad meant to everyone, enough to name their offspring after my brother.

Recently, I’ve been missing Ryan.  Yes, that’s not a new concept and always an underlying truth, but I miss Ryan for Kyle, and I wish he would’ve know his father.  Presently, I feel like Kyle needs his dad, especially with the major issues we’ve been having with Kyle, mostly his attitude.  I don’t know how the present would appear if Ryan was still with us, but I do know for certain, Ryan wouldn’t have allowed any of it to happen, or put a mad stop to it immediately.  I get it, Kyle’s a teenager, but disrespect should never be permitted, let alone displayed, no matter the age.

Kyle isn’t a bad kid, really he’s not.  He’s a pretty good young man, but we’ve hit a rough patch.  I pray Kyle understands that I try and make decisions based on what his dad would say or do, or how he felt about certain topics.  Loss is never easy, for anyone involved, not even one who was three months old when Kyle experienced his first loss.

Words cannot express how much I miss you Ryan.  Truly.  I know you chose me as Kyle’s godmother for a reason, and you always knew I’d put Kyle first and I’d do right by him.  I’m sincerely trying my best.  Honestly, you’d be proud of Kyle.  He’s a very talented and intelligent young man and his future is promising.  He’s already shown to be a success as a person.

The introduction quote is actually a snippet from a poem.  It’s really a lovely piece, and very appropriate for this blog post.  Ever since loosing Ryan, I try not to sweat the small stuff.  I put things into perspective, especially when it comes to materialism, which I’m not a big fan of and never have been, similar to Ryan.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is as important as human life and doing the right thing.

Like Elizabeth Bishop, I too try and accept loss and loosing someone.  But I’ve never completely come to terms with Ryan’s death.  I’m sure he’ll always weigh heavy on my heart, some days are easier than others.

Below is the poem in it’s entirety.  Take a moment and try it out for yourself.

One Art
By Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Reminiscing,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Teenager vs. Aunt Heather Part 3 – Flexing the Attitude

Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.  ~George Orwell

Kyle at Latrobe Airport for his birthday 7-31-10 Aunt Heather Piper

A happy Kyle at Latrobe Airport ready for his flying lessons – 9th birthday. 7/31/10

So far in my last two posts, Kyle has been giving me major attitude and disrespect.  I got him a math tutor that he didn’t want and feels he didn’t need, even though he tanked Algebra II last year, and now I was waiting to pick him up for church, which he clearly was resisting.

Waiting for the bus to drop off my little man,  I greeted him with a big smile, trying to ignore the tone he had already set while talking to him briefly on the phone prior, while on the bus in route.  Kyle smiled and headed straight for the house.  I told him to grab his homework, we had to go.  In all reality, I had somewhere I had to be at 4:30 pm and we were cutting it close, plus I was suppose to be on a conference call for work.  I mean my life doesn’t always revolve around Kyle, unbeknownst to him.

What did Kyle do?  He ignored me and left me out in the driveway for an hour!  Yes, you heard me right.  I was sitting in a hot car, waiting on Kyle, in the very hot sun, till I felt sick.  I banged on the door, still trying to keep my cool, even though I was boiling and now nauseous with a headache from the sun and heat.  Kyle argued with me till he finally came out.  I asked, “Did you bring your homework?”  He rolled his eyes, went back in the house for another fifteen minutes and came out with a piece of paper.  I thought, “That was all his homework?  Okay, whatever.”  During our brief conversation while he was on the bus, I stated to grab all your homework.  In fact, I believe on Sunday, I told him when I was picking him up, to grab ALL his homework.  There was no issue on Sunday with the plans, but know there was.

On a side note, if Kyle did that to ANYONE, made them wait on him, let alone in a hot car in the sun, I would have had him moved his butt out the door before he hit the fifteen minute mark.  But then again, I respect others and I try to take others into consideration.  Kyle’s actions was not respectful and teaches him to be a self centered, rude child to only turn into the same type of adult.

While making our leave, Kyle began the argument fest again, “Why do I have to go to church?” and “Why don’t I have a choice?” and “Why do I need a tutor?”  I’ve always been very truthful with Kyle, whether he wants to hear it or not.  Seriously, I’ve never lied to him, with the exception of Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny, which I came clean on years later.  Always being upfront and honest with the kid was my demonstration of showing respect and the right way to live.

Anyway, I explained to Kyle, his dad, my brother Ryan wanted him to be raised Catholic.  And as his godmother, my job is to ensure he has a close relationship with God and is spiritually healthy.

Lila-Aunt-Heather-Piper-8-1-15

Me & my cousin Lila. She’s my little protégé … A little Heather Piper in training… At Mikey’s wedding 8/1/15

Obviously, Kyle didn’t like those answers and did what I hated the most, he kept repeating himself, without even giving me a chance to explain and kept interrupting.  He didn’t want answers, he wanted to complain and get his own way.  Then, he argued, “I was raised Catholic, I was Baptized and I had my First Holy Communion.”  I couldn’t help but give a little chuckle.  That’s the answer of an uneducated child who thinks he’s an adult, but is only fourteen.  I said, “Kyle, you weren’t raised, you’re not grown up.  And those are milestones to reinforce your faith.  You have a lot more learning to do.  Plus going to church reinforces your faith week after week so you don’t forget.”  That was followed by, “Why don’t I have a choice?”  Actually, I corrected him, stating he does, if he chooses another church, I will support him, but he can’t just not choose God and abandon Him altogether.  Kyle’s comment, “Why not, I’ve done good so far.”  I was very upset by that comment, stating, “Really you think your life was led this way because of you?  And you don’t need God?”  He shrugged his shoulders not having an answer.

If later in life Kyle decides to abandon church and his faith, then that’s his decision, one I tried to build his spiritual foundation to get him through life, to make honest and moral decisions.  Kyle asked when that was, I laughed a little and said, “When you’re eighteen.”  Okay, I did giggle over that, but I meant it.  He retorted with a, “What?  That’s by law!  Why not before that?”  I simply stated, “It’s by law you can make your own decisions, I didn’t make that rule.”  He was furious!

As we were cruising along, he said, “I have a lot of homework to do!”, which was his battle cry from the time we spoke earlier on the phone.  I reiterated, “That’s why I told you to bring ALL of your homework.”  He snapped back at me, “Well I don’t have it all.”  WHAT?  I slammed on the breaks, now ready to loose it on this kid.  I was already late and at this point, we were going to miss mass.  I turned around, and made him get all his homework.  He took another fifteen or twenty minutes, making me wait.  Obviously, that was Kyle’s way of getting back at me, which I didn’t appreciate, but I was thinking of the bigger picture and what was best for him.

His whole demeanor was less than favorable, even though I promised him I would never yell at him again, I was ready to explode!  I reminded Kyle of this fact, and I also stated that I didn’t appreciate him raising his voice at me.  He was practically yelling at me.

Once we headed out again, Kyle dictated, “You’re going to take me to church and then bring me right back.”  What?  Is that what he said?  It was, word for word!  First of all, who made him my boss, and who ever gave him the right to speak to anyone like that!

It was a struggle the entire forty minutes to Latrobe (counting traffic).  I told Kyle to get off of his video games. (he started to play on his iPhone) If he had that much homework to do he could get started on it now, as opposed to wasting valuable time on video games, especially since he made a big issue about church.  He wouldn’t listen.  I was loosing it big time.  He spat, “Why?  I don’t have to listen to you, you can’t tell me what to do.”  My response?  “Yes you do and looks like I just told you what to do.”  That kid actually puffed out his chest as if physically threatening me!  I was not having it from a little snot nosed teenager with an attitude problem.  I smacked him on the top of the head and took the phone right out of his hand.  (My reflexes are faster than his)  His response?

“YOU STOLE MY PHONE!”  Are you kidding me?  I merely told him I have his phone because he’s now grounded from it for the night.  He yelled like a crazy person, and stated I couldn’t ground him.  I said, “Looks like I just did buddy.”  Keep in mind, I have yet to yell.  My tone was even but very authoritative and unwavering.

I don’t know where all this was coming from, but it was intense and very disrespectful.  I was not going to back down.  Like I told Kyle when he was a little man, “I invented stubborn and you’ve met your match!”

Kyle at Idlewild c. 2003 Aunt Heather Piper

A young Kyle at Idlewild Park, Jump’in Jumgle in Ligonier for Gutchess Picnic. c. 2003

The best part?  Kyle said I was ridiculing him.  Really?  I asked how.  His response.  “You keep calling me names and ridiculing me!”  My response?  “Kyle, you’re acting like a jerk, so I will call you a jerk.  What name would you like me to call you while your acting like this?   I’m not ridiculing you,  I’m not making fun of you, I’m stating a fact.  You’re acting like a jerk.”  He didn’t like that comment either.  Of course, I knew anything I said, unless it was something he wanted, was futile.  For some reason, he wanted to take his aggression out on me and in his eyes I was his enemy.  However, in all reality, I was the one who loved him the most.  Anyone else would have caved in to his demands or sent him back to not deal with him.  I chose the harder route, one for his benefit.

I drove us to my parents house, partially to cool off and because I thought Kyle might straighten up for my dad.  The entire ride Kyle spat, “Take me back, NOW!”  Nope.  As we pulled into the driveway, I said, “You go in and give Pappy a hug.  He didn’t do anything to you.  Be nice, he misses and loves you.”  What did Kyle do?  He stayed in the car for a while, wouldn’t come in, and wouldn’t begin his homework.  I was beside himself.  I went out and warned him, “You’re not going anywhere until you do all that homework.  Do you understand?”

What did he do?  He went into the house and began looking for his phone straight away, with his superior attitude.  Prior to that, I explained the entire situation to dad.  Dad was beyond furious and at his last end with this kid.

Dad called Kyle into the living room and the major attitude, in the form of a teenager, stood before my dad acting tough, but I saw his lower lip quivering.  During the conversation, Kyle stated he didn’t want to come to the house anymore.  I knew those words really struck Dad in the heart.  Dad’s tone was strong and very intimidating.  While listening to him from the other room, I felt like a kid myself getting in trouble.  Dad’s voice dripped with anger and yet there was definite sorrow behind it.  Something I’m sure Kyle didn’t catch.  Then, Dad brought a tear to my eye when I heard him raise his voice stating, “You see that picture (on the mantel) THAT’s YOUR DAD!  WE’RE YOUR FAMILY!  Do you understand that?  So you better start treating us a little better!  After everything we’ve done for you, you act like this?  Kyle, I’ve always done EVERYTHING for you and you treat us like this?  Fine if you don’t want to come here anymore, then you don’t have to!”

Turkey Coop 9-6-15 Aunt Heather Piper

Our turkey coop at Mom & Dad’s. 9/6/15

What did Kyle have to say?  Nothing.  He walked out of the house.  I found him doing homework sitting on the wood pile.  I could tell logic wasn’t strong with him that day, for he should have moved his homework to the deck, but whatever.  I got dressed for church and said, “Let’s go.”  Without another word, Kyle got in the car.  I handed him his youth group t-shirt, the one everyone was wearing for mass.  He actually thanked me.  That was a step in the right direction.  (Previously I explained the process to get him the T-shirt.)   He put it on without saying much.  Another step in the right direction.  I stated that I’ll give him his space and sit in the back of the church, while he sits with his youth group.  No comment.

After leaving church, we were welcomed to stay and enjoy refreshments and snacks in the church basement.  I gave Kyle the option and he opted out.  We went back to my parents house, since it’s closer and I told him to finish his homework and once he’s done, we’ll leave.  He came in the house, never entered the living room where mom and dad were sitting, sat at the kitchen table and finished his reading.  He was a bit antisocial, but more than that I think he felt bad and awkward due to his outburst earlier.  Upon leaving church, his attitude did make a huge adjustment.  Perhaps he had time to reflect.

Upon completion of his homework, Kyle managed to give my parents a dry emotionless hug before we headed out again.  After hugging dad, he kind of looked like he wanted to cry.  Yep, like the Grinch, his heart was growing.

Keep in mind, Kyle still didn’t have his phone, nor did he know where it was located.  I had it now in my pocket, and I thought a nice gesture would be for me to give it back.  However, just as I was handing it over he said, “Now where’s my phone!”  We were almost there!  Umm…. I told him to watch his tone.  I gave him the phone but he wasn’t allowed to play any games on during the ride back.  He did his standard, “Why?”  I told him because he was grounded for the night and out of good faith I gave him his phone early.  He listened and placed it in his pocket making sure I couldn’t get it again.

On a side note, he was like an addict with that phone.  Truly!  A little alarming.

The ride was quiet.  Partially because I found Kyle dozing off, very unlike him.  Just before I dropped him off, I found out the night before, he was up till midnight doing homework because he had band practice till late.  That explains part of the attitude, he was tired, but it doesn’t explain what he was saying.  Of course, I’m aware he’s a teenager with no logical thoughts or actions sometimes.

Kyle did give me a hug and let me kiss that chubby little cheek of his.  He also gave me a nod in affirmation as if stating “I love you too.”  after I spoke those words.

You know it’s always situations like these that really makes me stop and reflect on my actions and questions if I’m doing right by Kyle.  I was told by a friend of mine, “Stick to your guns and do what’s right, just make sure they know you love them.”  I hope Kyle knows that, for I interject it when possible, even when I’m gritting my teeth trying not to grab him by the scruff of the neck.

How is Kyle now?  That past weekend he was really good.  He even helped me and Dad finish building the turkey run.  I didn’t even have to ask.  How much longer do I have with this teenage attitude?

posted by auntheather in Books, Movies, Shows,Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Teenager vs. Aunt Heather Part 2 Calm Before the Storm

On the whole, I think you should write biographies of those you admire and respect, and novels about human beings who you think are sadly mistaken.  ~Penelope Fitzgerald

Kyle-&-Casey-Easter-2002-Aunt-Heather-Piper

A very little Kyle visited by his godfather & cousin, Casey. Kyle is one lucky little man to have such good & caring people in his life. 2002

Kyle has been giving major attitude and showing me disrespect.  He’s been pushing boundaries and spreading his wings, thinking he should be a free range teenager.  Nope.  Some freedom is good, too much is just asking for trouble.  In my previous post, I just broke the news to Kyle that I got him a math tutor, since he tanked in Algebra II on last year’s report card.

Now we’re onto Sunday, August 30th. He wasn’t too bad getting ready, but he did display his typical attitude, which I didn’t care for much, especially while walking into the Lord’s house.  I’m trying with this kid, but he’s stepping over major lines.

Upon leaving church, Kyle seemed to be in good spirits.  Believe it or not that always happens after attending mass, especially when the music picks up our souls and sores them to the ceiling of the basilica.  Attending mass does lighten Kyle’s spirit, as it does mine.  I blatantly see it.  I’m pretty sure I witnessed a miracle.

Next stop, the tutor!  Of course, our meeting place was closed, and every other public location in close proximity was packed with church goers.  Wendy, the tutor had another meeting after ours and didn’t have time to waste.  We did the formal introductions and she took time to get to know Kyle, and in turn Kyle became familiar with his new tutor.  She asked a few questions about his current math class, and what he was having trouble in.  Naturally, Kyle shrugged his shoulders, not offering up much information.  I found it funny when Wendy said she loved Geometry, after Kyle stated that’s his current math class.  His face showed it all, again!  He knew he met his match and he had no one to blame but himself.  She was wonderful though.  She gave him instructions on what she expected from him and what he needed to bring for the next session, and what they’d be working on.  Kyle nodded and shook her hand like an adult, another proud moment in my eyes.  Others may not care, but to me, Kyle was showing Wendy respect and his foundation that I tried to instill in him from a young age was surfacing.  I love that!

After our brief encounter, Kyle relaxed quite a bit.  Perhaps he was stressed over the shock of a tutor, or dealing with a new teacher, or a change in his schedule.  Kyle’s never been much for change.  Whatever it was, it was nearly gone.  Once we got back to my parent’s house, Kyle was seriously a good kid without most of his attitude.  It was great!  In fact, dad and I were heading up to Indiana to set up my tree stand for hunting and Kyle helped.  He didn’t want to come with us, but he assisted me in loading the tree stand in the back of the truck.  Giving him kudos where it’s deserved, Kyle was a really big help!  He did the heavy lifting and it appeared that he wanted to show off how strong he’s become.  He’s stretched out before my eyes and is turning into a young man.  In the entire time after church, Kyle never complained, never argued, never drug his feet, nothing.  He was a delight.  Now my cynical side wanted to think he wanted to get rid of me, so he could play his video games in peace  In all reality, I do believe Kyle wanted to be helpful.  Either way, I appreciated his actions.

Before we left, I had Kyle give me a big hug, which he did without incidence.  He almost seemed happy.  While getting in the truck, I yelled for Kyle to come out of the house.  “Kyle!  Kyle!  Come on, give me more love.  I miss you and I need it to last.”  I was motioning for him to give me another hug while I motioned.  Kyle gave me a grin, and graciously came out, again, without argument or hesitation, to give me and dad another hug.  While he was moving toward me, I chirped one of my famous, “Dare (There) he is!  Dare he is!”  Kyle couldn’t resist his Aunt Heather.  I heard a chuckle fall out of his mouth.  That simple situation of Kyle being nice and giving us heartfelt hugs, and me telling dad how helpful he was made Dad’s day!  Mine too!

Great!  We left Sunday on a high note, to only be faced with a very difficult version of my nephew a few days later, Tuesday, September 1st.

Kyle's-birthday-Valley-Dairy-7-31-2005-Aunt-Heather-Piper

Kyle on his birthday, enjoying his birthday Valley Dairy ice-cream sundae with his Gigi & Pappy. 7/31/05

Let me set the stage.  Kyle’s youth group emailed me, in addition to his entire group informing us that our new Bishop, the most Reverend Edward Malesic, J.C.L., the fifth Bishop of Greensburg, chose to give mass at Holy Family on Tuesday night.  The entire youth group was to attend wearing their youth group t-shirts and sit as a group, meeting at 6:30 pm.  Thinking in advance in Kyle’s best interest, I knew his t-shirt from last year definitely didn’t fit.  I didn’t want him to be the only one without a youth group tee, so I reached out to one of the youth leaders and made arrangements to get a bigger size.  Initially, I thought Kyle would enjoy hanging out with kids from his youth group, and thinking he’d be interested in going to mass out of sheer curiosity to see the new Bishop.  In my heart, I knew it would be a grand mass that Kyle should experience, and one he might enjoy.  Boy I was wrong.

Kyle texted me late, I mean around 11:30 pm on Monday asking “Why do I have to go tomorrow”.  Naturally, I was sleeping and didn’t receive the text message until the next morning.  He then texted me when I was on my way to pick him up around 3:00 pm on Tuesday.  Again, asking “Do I have to go”.  I didn’t respond to either text message, I was driving and I really don’t like texting and because I didn’t feel like listening to him whine.  I also wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine and feel the sting of someone intentionally ignoring him, like he does me.

Granted, mass wasn’t until 7:00 pm, but I had things I needed to do and it was convenient for me to get him as soon as he got off the bus.  Plus, it was a nice excuse to spend an evening with Kyle like we used to, when I took him to swimming lessons, piano lessons, and guitar lessons, after school over the years.

Calling him when I was nearly there to finalize plans, he actually answered!  He started on me the minute he picked up the call with complaining and whining.  I responded kindly that I was almost there.  Kyle gave me an attitude stating he was still on the bus and he had a lot of homework to do.  He was already out of control.  Seriously.  Did I care?  Nope!  He was going to listen and that was that.

I pulled into the driveway and waited for the teenage attitude to arrive.  Little did I know, the worst was on its way.

To Be Continued…

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Teenager vs. Aunt Heather – Part 1 Math Tutor

Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.  ~A.A. Milne

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Kyle didn’t want his picture taken… I made him suppress a smile. Happy 14th Birthday Kyle! 2015

Where to begin.  How about in chronological order.  To be honest, I’ve been so upset as of lately, I didn’t feel like rehashing these events in writing until now.  I figured I record the good, so to be realistic I should record the bad, so to speak.

I know Kyle is growing up, and he’s finding himself, his likes and dislikes, and he wants to be his own person, and have his own voice.  All of that I’m very happy about, truly!  However, he can’t possibly think he should be allowed to do whatever he wants, when he wants, how he wants to do it.  Nope!  A little independence, sure, complete freedom with a bad attitude and disrespect, never, ever.

Kyle has been giving me a big attitude for some time now.  His newest thing, is to ignore my phone calls and text messages.  Something I’m sure is a learned behavior and will be addressed in a big way down the road unless corrected.  That’s the first item of disrespect.  Then, he was only visiting my parents when he wanted something, strike two.  Again, we love Kyle with all of our hearts, and we love seeing him, and spending time with him, even if it’s only for a short period of time.  But to take complete advantage of our generosity and kindness, not cool.

Moving on.  Everyone who knows me, knows there are two topics I NEVER budge on, church and school (showering and brushing teeth are also a couple others, but in my eyes those are mandatory acts of living that sometimes causes arguments and we work through them quickly).  I learned long ago to pick my battles, and those are it.  Whether Kyle likes it or not, in addition to being his aunt by blood relation, I’m also his godmother and an adult figure who’s been an integral part of his life from the beginning.  I was specifically chosen by my brother, Ryan, to raise him Catholic and it’s my job to carry out Ryan’s wishes.  A part of that is to keep Kyle on the path of moral responsibility and goodness, which I’ve been trying to do.

Next topic of conversation is school.  I’ve talked about that before, many, many times.  I worked with Kyle to get him into kindergarten at a young age, I helped pay for his preschool, and I’ve always made him accountable for his report card and homework, at every grade.  My intent was not to be mean but the opposite.  I care so much for Kyle, I only want the best for him, and if that means not taking the easy way, I’m there.  Seeing Kyle reach his potential and having no regrets has always been my goal.

I’ve never really said too much on Kyle’s clothing, music, hobbies or anything allowing him to be self expressive.  I do get on him about his video games, only because he spends way too much time in those mind sucking virtual worlds.  Speaking up and creating balance is for his own good.

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Kyle with his cousin Cheyenne. Kyle was trying to get her to smile for the picture. What a great little guy! Bethel Church 2005

About three Sunday’s ago, August 23rd to be exact, I wasn’t in the area to take Kyle to church.  Next in line is my mom, who was suppose to be my voice and presence when I’m working.  What did Kyle do?  Knowing very well my mom is a push over, he basically told her he wasn’t going to church, and my mom didn’t argue!  I was livid!  Now take that a step further, when I called and texted him about the first day of school, on that Monday, he didn’t reply.  I simply wanted to wish him good luck and to hear his voice.  Would that teenager give me two seconds of his time, even through a text message?  Nope.  Ignore.  Here we go.

Now after a week of no word from Kyle, Saturday, August 29th rolls around.  The Olczak family reunion.  My sister came home, as did Kyle.  I had work to do on the computer so I skipped out, but from I was told, Kyle helped my mom make the Haluski and assisted with the setup.  Cool deal buddy!  That’s what I like to hear.  See how this roller coaster ride is going, down and up, and it continues.

Once he came home from the reunion, Kyle carried a small bit of an attitude, but nothing serious.  I talked to him for a few minutes, which went fine, even though he tried to avoid me, knowing I would bring up church sooner or later.  It was at this time, I knew I needed to break it to him what his official birthday gift was.

A math tutor!  You got it, remember A Dip In the Grades.  Yeah, well I didn’t forget.  In passing, I simply told Kyle, “We’re going to 9:30 am church.”  He rolled his eyes, and then I heard my sister chime in, “Why do we have to go so early?”  She’s never been like the rest of the family, minus my mom. We’re morning people.  Anyway, with conviction, I replied, “I don’t care what mass you go to, we’re going to 9:30 and then he has his tutor meeting.”  Kyle’s face was priceless.   Immediately I added, “Instead of taking you to Cedar Point and spending money on a day in Pittsburgh with your friends, because of your attitude and your grades, I decided to buy you a math tutor.  Happy Birthday!”  It was only for a split second, but I definitively caught a grin on Kyle’s face after announcing “Happy Birthday”.  Naturally, I sported a huge smile myself.  It was kind of funny.  What melted my heart was Kyle’s grin that looked exactly like Ryan’s.  For a split second, Ryan was standing before me.  Then Kyle opened his mouth and Ryan disappeared.

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Kyle’s 14th birthday cake! 2015

Sincerely, I didn’t expect Kyle to get upset about the tutor, nor did I care, but he did.  In fact, he was really mad!  He kept grunting and whining about the tutor and arguing with me.  Another funny.  Kyle, nearly raising his voice inquired, “Why do I need a tutor?”  I gave him a sideways look and said, “Come on buddy, I think you’re smart enough to figure that one out on your own.”  For a second time, he turned his head so I couldn’t see, but I did, and a grin surfaced.  Now that’s the Kyle I know and love.  He was somewhere in there, but the dark side wouldn’t let the old Kyle out.  Yikes, the internal temporal.

Kyle really took the news of a tutor hard.  Again, something I wasn’t expecting.  I watched him storm around the yard, and it looked like he was texting or calling someone.  I didn’t give a fig.  He screwed up, and I wanted to help him out of his wrong turn.  I mean that’s why he has adults in his life, so when he messes up, someone is there to help him out.  Right?

At one point, during an argument about the tutor, which incidentally continued ALL night, Kyle started to give me his list of excuses.
Kyle:  “I didn’t care about my grades because I knew they didn’t count for college.”
Me:  “If that’s true, then why was math the only subject you tanked in?”
Kyle:  No response.
Kyle:  “I only got a bad grade because I wasn’t doing my homework.  There was too much and I didn’t want to do it.”
Me:  “Then you really don’t know the subject, which is the foundation for all your future math classes.”
Kyle:  “I do!  I know Algebra II.  Why do I need a tutor?”
Me:  I turned toward Kyle, looked him squarely in the face before admitting, “Kyle!  Because I seem to be the only one who seriously cares about your future!  I want you to have a choice of anything you want to do in this world.  I want you to choose whichever college you want to attend.  I don’t want you to struggle with your future subjects.  I want you to feel good about yourself and show everyone just how smart you are!  I love you dearly, that’s why.”  I couldn’t resist, I added, “Happy Birthday buddy!”  That’s the instigator in me.
Kyle:  No comment.  Maybe a slight smile but he was holding strong.
Me:  “Kyle it took me a while to find this tutor, I especially chose her.  She’s a Greater Latrobe High School math teacher!”
Kyle:  His eyes got big and the look of “O crap” appeared across his face.
Me:  “That’s right buddy, I’m not messing around.  I didn’t get you a student, I got you someone who can handle your teenage attitude and really knows the subject.”
Kyle:  Still holding strong.  “Why do I need a tutor.  I know math.”
Me:  “Buddy, if that’s true, then prove it.  Let the tutor tell me that you really know the subject.  I’m not doing myself any favors paying for a tutor, I’m not benefiting from this.  I’d be happy to cancel the lessons.
Kyle:  No comment.

Kyle sighed, grunted and stormed off.  I know deep down, he thought he would win, yet he knows I’m not being unreasonable and he’s in the wrong.

Now onto Sunday.  First things first, church before the tutor.  The saga continues…

 

P.S. I carefully chose this quote, it wasn’t by happenstance.  You see, A.A. Milne authored the Winnie-the-Pooh books.

When Kyle was a tiny tyke, he had this teething ring Winnie-the-Pooh, which contained a button to play music.  Kyle loved that toy!  I believe that’s when I first realized how much he loved music.  He would bounce his head to the sweet tune of the plastic key chain.  Sometimes, we’d simply sing, “Winnie-the-Pooh… Winnie-the-Pooh…”

A little bit of trivia.  A.A. Milne’s son, Christopher was given a teddy bear on his first birthday.  For Kyle’s first birthday, he received a king sized quilt I made him out his of his dad’s (my brother) tees and flannels shirts.  Anyway, Christopher called his bear, Edward Bear, before renaming the stuffed animal, Winnie-the-Pooh.  The first Pooh story was published four years later.  Children do make the world of difference in the lives they touch.  They’re also great inspirations!  I too wrote a book, young adult, for Kyle.  I guess there are others out there as blessed as I am, to be inspired by such love.

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Happy Birthday Kyle! 14 Years!

Each day means a new twenty-four hours. Each day means everything’s possible again. You live in the moment, you die in the moment, you take it all one day at a time.  ~Marie Lu

Happy 14th Birthday Kyle!

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Kyle fulfilling a life goal, swimming with the dolphins from his cruise with his Aunt Nikki. 6/2015

Kyle has really taught me about life.  It amazes me how one little boy, although he’s not so little anymore, can teach me about life and people and behaviors and the list goes on.  It’s great!  I love seeing the world through his eyes and his perception, especially now that he’s a young adult.

Now we’re working through the teenage years.  I’ll admit, it’s trial and error, I’ve made some mistakes and Kyle has made some, but we’re still tight.  There is nothing I wouldn’t do for for that kid, and I know he truly cares for me, and my family.  I’ll always be his Aiya (Aunt Heather) and he’ll always be my Narrow.  We are associated by blood, but bound by love.

Thinking back on these fourteen years, I’m amazed at how much learning and activity has been packed into each year.  What a ride!  One, I would never trade, ever!  Kyle has been a blessing and continues be so.  Since reaching teenager status, he’s been spreading his wings and pushing boundaries.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, depending on how he goes about it.  I’ve always encouraged Kyle to be independent, yet responsible.  Although, I’m adjusting to the idea of not being cool anymore, or a desired companion for fun activities.  However, I’m hoping one day, Kyle will revert back and I will be here with open arms.

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Kyle celebrating his 5th birthday at Seabase in Greensburg! He was a king that day, & every day since… 7/30/05

Now for my biggest surprise from this year.  Besides shaving, Kyle has really stretched up.  I only have about a head on him now, then he’ll surpass me.  I’m about five foot six inches, so Kyle is slightly under that.  He keeps eyeballing me up when standing next to me, and displaying that ornery grin.  His feet are already bigger than mine, which isn’t saying much since I have small feet.  We pretty much wear the same size shirts and jeans, except I need a little bit more length to mine.  There was a time when Kyle thought he was being a stinker wearing my cloths and enjoyed doing so.  I warned him, the tide will be changing soon enough, and now the high tide is in.  The other day, Kyle said, “Hey Aunt Heather, that’s my tee shirt.”  I simply looked down and said, “Umm, yes it is.  Payback time!  And it only goes downhill from here.”  He didn’t say much.  He just snickered and continued playing his video game.

Kyle is showing to be a goodhearted and honest young man, just like his dad.  Ryan would’ve been very proud of him.  Kyle’s not presently aware, but Ryan, his dad, would’ve been a very hands on, interactive father.  That’s the only part of Kyle getting older that saddens me, not having his dad interact with him and experience every milestone.  I guess Ryan’s here in spirit, and always in our hearts.  Although Kyle would’ve benefited tremendously to have Ryan in his life.

Kyle’s a happy child and is blessed with a good life.  That I am thankful for!

Happy Birthday Kyle!  I hope you enjoy your day.  I look forward to many more birthdays.

posted by auntheather in Church,Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Reminiscing,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

A Dip in the Grades

Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore,
And that’s what parents were created for.  ~Ogden Nash

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Kyle with his cousin Cheyenne at Bethel Lutheran Church. This picture was taken for my Gram. 2005

Grades.  I remember report card time.  The stress of working your butt off to get the grade desired, or to be redeemed from a not-so-desirable past grade.  All the studying, and all the writing, and all the preparation, to be judged by The Report Card.  I do agree with this method of ranking a child in school.  It gives them good benchmarks and goals to work toward.  It’s also a way to see if a child is truly struggling and needs additional assistance, or if the teacher needs to be replaced.  Certainly, not a foolproof method, but one universally accepted.

I’m a little late on talking about Kyle’s grades, well considering he’s been hiding them from me, so I guess I’m not.  Kyle has been blowing me off when asked about his report card.  I should have known this was going to be a struggle, considering I never saw the second quarter grades.  Kyle’s response, “I don’t know what I did with it.”  I bugged him and bugged him, till I finally said, “Well, I’ll be looking for the next one.” meaning the third quarter.  I did manage to review that term, and yes the grades were already slowly slipping.

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Me at Kunkle Park. My shirt says.. Don’t Mess With Me! Love that! c. 2008

Getting a hold of his third quarter report card, was a chore unto itself.  I remember my sister asking Kyle a very logical question, “Since you’re in advance math, maybe it’s getting too hard for you.”  Kyle’s response, “Umm, na, I was just slacking a little but I’m getting back on track.”  Keeping it real buddy!  I can work with that honesty, assuming he truly meant it.  However, I bet Kyle never realized that math is a subject that always builds upon itself, and continues to get harder and harder.  So if a critical step in the learning process is missed, putting it simply, you’re screwed.  The only way to catch up, is to go back and relearn or reiterate previous teachings to get back on track.

Apparently during this time, my sister called Kyle on the phone, and found out that he didn’t want to show me his report card because he dropped in two classes.  He knew I would ground him and get on his case to ensure his homework was done and done correctly.  Let me think on this… HECK YEAH!  Personally, it makes me happy to find out that Kyle is afraid to show me his slipped grades.  It proves that Kyle knows I mean business, and it also shows he’s aware of his wrongdoing.  He knows what’s expected.  He’s also treating me like an involved parent who cares.  I’m good with that!

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Kyle in the Caverns of West Virginia, while visiting Casey. Kyle loves to learn! 2007

Good so far, except, this “fear” of me, which really means fear of not being able to play his video games.  It also means he basically lied to me, and then covered it up, AND tried to get sympathy from my parents, sister and other family members, like I’m wrong in this scenario.  Boy that kid is good, but I’m better!

Recently, I knew the final report card was out, and I had yet to see it.  Did I ask for it?  You bet I did!  And asked, and asked and asked.  Apparently, Kyle, “Didn’t know where it was.” and he “Wasn’t sure what his grades were.”  I heard it all.  I knew that was code for a slip in the grades, but to what extent, I had no idea.  Please keep in mind, I do give Kyle grace with respect to some classes, since he’s in advanced math and advance science.

Finally, I got my hands on his grades, not only the forth quarter but also the year long averages.   I now had an overview of all his grades and his progress during eighth grade.  I had two words, NOT HAPPY!  If he thinks he’s getting into Carnegie Mellon University for engineering with those grades, he has another thing coming.  He’d be lucky to get accepted to community college, and everyone gets into community college.

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My pap. He only had a 5th grade education, only because he didn’t have the opportunity to reach his potential. Believe it or not, he was smart! He was also a very kind & goodhearted person.

What were his grades?  Let’s just say, he’s been playing way too many video games.  He went down in five classes, up in two, and maintained one-hundred percent in band.  The overall grades weren’t terrible, but not great either.  I won’t embarrass Kyle by calling anything out in particular, for the details are personal, just not acceptable.  I need to get a handle on this kid, and fast.  He’s way too smart to ruin his future because he’s being lazy.  And his manipulation toward adult figures in his life isn’t helping him out.  Sometimes I think I’m the only one seeing it.  Hence, why he’ll say he’s afraid of me.  He knows how to play the game to get everyone on his side and not be held accountable for his actions.  No joke, I think I’m the only one seeing the whole picture, and truly wanting to help this kid.  So, yes!  I will take away his video games and lazy time and replace it with homework and additional school work reinforcement.

How was Kyle punished?  I just found out he wasn’t.  He was talked to but really, NOTHING!  Literally nothing!  In fact, early this summer he went on a cruise with his Aunt Nikki, and now he’s on another vacation, and his birthday is this week.  He was never grounded, never had his video games taken away, nothing!  I don’t like to punish the kid either, but this is for his own future and for a good reason.  I care enough about Kyle to guide him in the right direction.  The last thing I want to see is Kyle trying to get into a college of his dreams, and be declined due to a lack of sufficient grades.  I think that’s just plain cruel and mean.  Especially, when this could have been avoided in the first place.

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Kyle showing off his bowling skills… 2007

I want more for Kyle.  I want to see him succeed in life, and I’m not just talking about monetary value.  I’m talking about happiness, and being a good person with high moral standards, and basic intelligence.  I don’t want anyone to call him dumb or think he is, or worse, he thinks he is!  I don’t want him to have stress and disappointment, even though I know it’s inevitable.  I want him to fulfill his dreams and reach his goals.  Not guiding the kid in the right direction now, and not encouraging and holding him accountable for his actions, is not helping meet any of these.  In fact, it’s the easy way to parent, or lack of parenting.

First things first, I’ve been praying for my little man.  He needs it.  Next, I need to devise a plan of action to get Kyle back into the game.  Not an easy task, but again Kyle’s totally worth it.  Anyone have any ideas to assist Kyle bring up his grades for next year, specially with Algebra II?  He’s going into the ninth grade.

 

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Getting A Handle On the Teenage Years

I’m quite illiterate, but I read a lot.  ~J.D. Salinger

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Uncle George, Gram & (not sure) 1980s

Evey time I catch myself huffing and puffing over Kyle’s behavior, or worse his attitude, everyone tells me he’s a typical teenager.  I guess so, but does that mean I have to tolerate it?  Perhaps I expect too much from him, maybe more than I should.  I just want Kyle to be a respectful, hardworking (non-lazy) young man who’s moral compass points North.  I’m not asking a lot.  (I’m quietly laughing to myself.)

Monday was a bit of a rough day with the focus being Gram’s funeral.  It’s true, Kyle didn’t fight me on his attire.  He wore dress slacks, nice brown shoes and his navy woven top with clusters of anchors.  The very same outfit he sported on his cruise.  He looked nice and appropriate, and he didn’t argue when it was time to get ready.  He was off to a good start.

However, during the visitation, Kyle sat in a corner and wouldn’t get up to acknowledged the visitors and accept condolences.  Okay, maybe that was asking way too much from a thirteen year old, soon to be fourteen.  Personally, I found it rude, especially when others made it a point to talk to Kyle and include him in the conversation.  Kyle’s response?  He did smile occasionally but barely look up from his seat.  I addressed that immediately.  “Get your butt up when someone is talking to you and shake his or her hand.”  I guess that’s also a maturity thing, as well as learned behavior.  Everything considered, Kyle was pretty good.

On a side note, there was no casket, which I didn’t understand.  I asked Kyle to walk around and find Gram because “The guest of honor has to be here somewhere.” as I so plainly stated.  Kyle snickered at first, and then gave me a horrifying look.  Feeling a bit awkward with my request, Kyle tried to ignore me and continued starring at the floor while sitting in his seat, playing his video game periodically.  Letting Kyle off the hook for my unusual request, I went seeking the answer myself.   What I didn’t know, was Gram chose to be cremated and then buried by my Pap.  A bit of information that would have gone a long way with me before walking into the funeral home.  That took me completely off guard, and the fact that we weren’t going to the cemetery, which is very unlike Piper funerals, really threw me for a loop.

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Dad & Uncle Sonny building Gram & Pap’s house on the ridge. c. 1953

Then, while at the brunch after the funeral services, Kyle sat on his iPhone and played video games.  At one point he left the American Legion, which is where we met in Latrobe, to sit on the Legion’s front steps to either text, play video games or whatever he was doing on his iPhone.  I was so embarrassed.  Seriously?  Good friend’s of the family, and relatives wanted to talk to Kyle and try and get to know this mystery man they never get to see.  Kyle was quiet and almost distant.  What was his problem?  Again, I knew it was a rough day of funeral services, but still.

On Saturday, two days before the funeral, I stopped down to mom and dad’s house.  I pulled in the driveway to find my dad, who is in his sixties, outside in the dead of the heat, splitting and stacking wood, by himself.  Upon entering the house, I found my sister and nephew playing a board game sitting in the air-conditioning.  I think it was great Kyle was off his video games and spending time with my sister, but come on, help an old man out!  Naturally, my sister yelled at me and very tactfully stated they were playing a game and I was to “Shut Up!” as my sister so respectfully demands.  Now that doesn’t help Kyle’s attitude or his unwillingness to do actual work and get off his phone.  I was floored.  That’s no way to teach a young man to respect his family, very poor example, but moving on.

This past Tuesday, Kyle actually agreed to help me and dad build the chicken run.  Really?  He did!  He was almost enthused about it.  That is until we started working.

We needed an area for the chickens to run around outside, while being safely enclosed, so critters don’t have an opportunity to eat chicken for dinner.  Sure, it wasn’t easy digging holes to set the posts, hammering boards together for the door, and tacking the chicken wire fence in place, etc.  It was a beautiful day, but very sunny and HOT.  We worked from 9:30 am till about 7:00 pm.

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Gram, Aunt Kaye, her husband John, Uncle George, his wife Rhea. 1990s

I’ll give Kyle kudos, he was trying, but I could also tell he’s out of shape and was having a tough time.  Then, the attitude made its appearance.  What’s better is when dad or myself calls Kyle out on it.  Kyle will actually challenge us with a stare down and blatantly deny his attitude and insists, “What?  What did I do?  I didn’t do anything!” (And repeat that over and over again even after we told him what he did)  When we all know, including Kyle about his attitude.  He wasn’t terrible on Tuesday, but that snotty behavior is working my nerves big time.  He treats me like I’m his parent, which is funny because I’ve always played that role with him.  Maybe I should take it as a compliment.

About midway during the day, when we were about halfway done with the project, we decided to stop and refuel before continuing.  While eating lunch, I heard the shower running.  What?

Me:  “Kyle, why do I hear the shower?”
Kyle:  “Because I’m going to take a shower and go home.”
Me:  “What?  No you’re not.  You purposely work as slowly as you could this morning, to stretch out the work, and you think you’re going to abandon us?  Without saying a word?  Then, you think I’m going to stop what I’m doing to take you to your mom’s house?  Seriously?”
Kyle:  crickets…
Me:  “No, you said you’d help.  You need to finish what you started.”
Kyle:  Huffs as he walks away and turns off the shower.

He did help us, and as soon as we gave him an easy project, tacking the wire fence to the door, Kyle’s mood changed.  I could tell he was proud of the work he put into the chicken run and felt a sense of accomplishment.  Granted, Kyle didn’t stick around to help clean up, but I did ask him to pick up two quarts jars and a pint jar (used for drinking water) laying in the grass.  What did Kyle grab?  One quart jar and one pint jar.  Did I let him get away with that?  Nope!  This kid needs to be held accountable for his behavior and learn to follow direction, even for something as simple as collecting the jars.  Again, I addressed this with Kyle and he headed back up to the yard to retrieve the other jar, while rolling his eyes slightly and pouting along the way.

Please note, it’s not like we ask Kyle to do much.  In fact, he does very little around the house.  We’re always offering to take him fishing, and we build fires and make mountain pies and s’mores.  Supposedly, we’re going fishing this weekend, I hope Kyle doesn’t blow us off again.  It really upsets my dad, and after loosing his mother last week, dad needs a good day of fishing without an attitude.

On another side note, the quote above cracked me up, thinking about the Catcher In the Rye!  I loved that book!

Below is a screen shot from Gram’s obituary.

Grams Obituary Aunt Heather Piper

 

posted by auntheather in Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Farming & Planting,Hiking & Outdoors,Hunting & Fishing,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Cruising the Open Seas

The voice of the sea speaks to the soul.  ~Kate Chopin

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Kyle finally got to swim with the dolphins! One of the many activities on his cruise trip with Aunt Nikki. 6/2015

Summer has arrived and has consumed all of my time.  Between Thrill of the Hunt and my scavenger hunt events, the garden, the bees, the chickens and the turkeys, and trying to wrangle in a 13-year-old to spend quality time with me, there’s little time to do anything else.  Personally, I wish I’d open my schedule for more leisurely reading and writing, and I will, but until then, busy, busy, busy.  Those are my days, which are clearly very different from Kyle’s.

Kyle seems to be enjoying his summer thus far.  He’s in the marching band, practicing one day a week.  He’s also trying his hand at the Tuba.  I’m glad he’s challenging himself and I’m very proud of that young boy, who still hasn’t shaken his attitude (partially).  However, that’s not all, besides fishing and mostly laying around playing video games, Kyle recently added some miles to his life experiences.

Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex 6-10-15 Aunt Heather Piper

Kyle and his Aunt Nikki set sail for Kyle’s first cruise.  Seriously?  Yes!  It was the annual Aunt Nikki and Kyle’s Week of Fun trip(Please note, I’m still not invited on these trips, which would make them even more adventurous and fun, just saying.  We could call it Kyle and the Aunts’ Week of Fun!)    I can’t believe the trip was nearly a month ago now.  To be honest, it started a few months back when Nicole and Kyle began discussing this year’s “Week of Fun” trip ideas.  Then, the anticipation grew even more when Kyle’s passport came in the mail.  What 13-year-old kid has a passport and has used it?  I’m sure some kids, obviously Kyle, but I never did until I reached my twenties.  He is blessed!  Then, the true excitement, when Nicole came home the weekend before departure to pick up the package, a.k.a. Kyle.

On Sunday, June 7th Nicole and Kyle drove to Baltimore, Maryland to jump aboard their cruise liner and set sail for a memorable week.

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“Aunt Nikki and Kyle’s Week of Fun” … this year a cruise. 6/2015

Where did they go?  They went to the Bahamas, stopped off in Florida and visited NASA and the Kennedy Space Center, and they participated in activities on the cruise ship while at sea, including the hairy chest contest.  Nicole won!  Just kidding! (That totally made me laugh out loud!)

These were all firsts for Kyle, including the hairy chest contest!  I’m glad my sister was able to introduce him to new experiences.  Like what?  Kyle got to swim with the dolphins!  Did he love it?  You bet!  He also got to explore the Bahamas, something I’ve never even done.  In fact, whoever his tour guide was left an impression on Kyle that lasted long after his trip.  Unbeknownst to the tour guide, he knew how to speak Kyle.  Basically the language of Kyle is through statistics and numbers.  Nicole and Kyle came home on Sunday, June 14th.  I was in Arlington, Virginia on Friday administering to the Singles Scavenger Hunt, so I occupied Nicole’s house until my world traveler arrived, so I could bring our precious cargo back.  On the four hour ride home, Kyle kept rattling off trivia regarding the Bahamas.  “Aunt Heather, do you know how someone can become a citizen of the Bahamas?” (one is to purchase a house on the island) and “Aunt Heather, did you know they don’t pay taxes?” and “Aunt Heather they only lost eight people with the last hurricane, so it’s really not that dangerous.”  Yep for most of the ride, Kyle was simply spouting off facts and figures, mostly about the Bahamas and some regarding NASA.  That’s my Kyle!

Week of Fun Cruise 6-10-15 Aunt Heather Piper

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Kyle insisted on meeting the captain of their cruise ship. Aunt Nikki, Kyle & the Captain. 6/2015

While sitting in Nicole’s living room, listening to the two reminisce about their trip, I was reminded just how much Kyle is like me.  Apparently, while waiting to take the elevator, they had to, well… wait.  Then, the elevator stopped at every level before arriving at their room.  Patience wasn’t strong with Kyle.  As the story goes, Kyle made my sister, who has an aversion to exercise, take the steps.  The agreement was, if it was more than two floors they’d take the elevator, if less the steps.  Now that’s my Kyle!  In general I usually take the steps, a habit Kyle has certainly picked up from me.  It’s that little extra effort that can make a world of difference to a person’s health.  While Nicole was commenting about the steps, I jumped into the conversation to defend Kyle, reminding Aunt Nikki that taking the steps was a wise choice considering all the food consumed.

Nicole said Kyle literally ate a burger a day, and treated himself to an ice-cream a day throughout the trip.  When bringing this fun fact to light,  Kyle gave me an ornery look as if saying “Ya Aunt Heather, I ate whatever I wanted and not healthy.”  I smiled and said, “Good for you buddy, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.  That’s what vacations are all about.  I’m glad you got some protein in your system and not all sweets.”  He seemed pleased with himself.

There’s no doubt Nicole and Kyle had a blast and created memories for a lifetime.  Like I’ve always told Kyle, I want him to take every opportunity to travel and see the world, explore every inch and enjoy life.

During our ride back, Kyle mentioned that he could live in the Bahamas.  I’d visit him, but that’s about it.  That comment kind of surprised me, since Kyle doesn’t like being in the sun, and hates the heat, and really hates to sweat.  Who knows, maybe the Bahamas will be his favorite vacation spot.

On a somewhat side note, while driving home with Kyle I looked down to see he changed his iPhone cover.  What is it?  The NASA logo.  I guess he did have a great time and was very influenced by his experiences!  After pointing out the case and telling him it was nice (it really is), I told him about his Aunt Nikki’s childhood obsession about working for NASA.  He seemed intrigued, yet I’m sensing he picked up on this little known fact during their visit to Florida.

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Kennedy Space Center. NASA 6/10/15

The annual tradition of Aunt Nikki’s and Kyle’s Week of Fun has been in existence since Kyle was a small tyke, growing in wow factor, mileage and expense year-over-year.  I hope it never stops and always continues for those two!  Personally, I love hearing the stories.  Wonder what next year will bring?

 

 

posted by auntheather in Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Milestone,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Reminiscing,Thrill of the Hunt Scavenger Hunts,Travels,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Fighting For What’s Right

Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.  ~Oscar Wilde

Kyle-in-Halo-Aunt-Heather-Piper 2011

This says it all!  Kyle sporting a halo at our cousin Lee’s wedding. 2011

This is not a finger pointer, but a way to realize what needs fixed for Kyle’s well-being.

I’m not a perfect person, not even close, nor did I ever claim to be.  There are many, many people who can attest to that.  Sure, usually my methods for handling certain situations are a bit abrasive and direct, especially when it comes to Kyle.  However, at least I’m not passive aggressive, and I’m always honest, usually brutally. (If the true can’t be handled then perhaps it’s time to look in the mirror and make some adjustments.)  However, it’s no secret to where I stand with Kyle, for I’m not shy about my thoughts and showing that he’s a priority.

Believe it or not, I’m actually a pretty easy going person, except when it comes to Kyle’s well-being.  I’m well aware that these young teenage years shape and develop traits to strengthen his adult character, or they can be a detriment and hinder him in the long run.  Kyle’s early learning structure is pretty stellar, but molding a kid doesn’t stop when he wants all the freedom in the world at thirteen.  I’m talking about the big three, mental, physical and spiritual wellness.

This past Sunday, which started out as me picking up Kyle for church, turned into a big, almost silly, blowout.  (It’s silly now that it’s over, but not at the time.)  Granted, Kyle wasn’t totally to blame, I played my part, as well as others.  I won’t rehash the long drawn out scenario, but I would like to point out the good that came from this potentially lethal situation, actually a few positive key points and the solutions we agreed upon.  Kyle is a good kid, and I plan on keeping it that way!

First, Kyle claims all I do is yell at him.  Probably true, but if anyone had to deal with Kyle’s attitude, and to top it off by listening to his whining and back-talking all the time, I believe even Mother Teresa would raise her voice, too.  Secondly, Kyle believes that he can never do anything right by me.  Not true, in fact I make it a point to complement him and encourage him when does good, but I won’t sugar coat his actions or behavior when the opposite is true.

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Kyle getting ready for a hike, this time minimal arguments as long as he had his iPod & his trusty walking stick. 2012

Personally, some of these issues are real, but his emphasis on the severity and number of instances aren’t.  Kyle’s pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes.  Seriously!  He’s gotten really good at playing the martyr.  He’s so dramatic!

Example, if I tell Kyle he’s kicked off of his video games for a half an hour because he played for four hours straight, he’ll respond with the usual whine and arguing.  Then, his time-out is such a traumatic experience.  He’ll poor it on thick to anyone who’ll listen to how he’s not allowed to play his videos games for the entire day!  When in reality it’s only a half an hour.  Did I mention he claims he’s not allowed to do anything during that time, even though I suggest a game of chess or a walk.  Yes, according to Kyle, he’s in prison serving hard time.  Think I’m kidding?  Not even close.  This is what Kyle does to get his own way, and work everyone to the dark side.  Who wants to deal with this?  It’s not right, and I won’t tolerate it.  Sadly, no one sees his stunts or if they do, they continue to cater to his whims to avoid an argument.  Not me!

Let’s discuss Kyle’s grades.  They’re not terrible, but I know he can do better, and I won’t stand back and accept skimping by.  I hold him accountable.  Why?  Because I believe in him, and I know he’s smarter than what his grades reflect.  However, he’ll argue and claim other.  I have faith in my little man and praising his grades is basically saying, “You’re not that smart, and I accept your half-way attempt.”  Nope!  Did you know he told my sister he knew he was slacking a little, and he needed to buckle down?  Yes!  Those were his words after he made excuses for his grades.  I appreciate his honesty, but I knew it!  There are so many more instances, I won’t even elaborate on.

When discussing my situation with a good friend of mine, who has a nephew a few years younger than Kyle, it was discovered that she had the exact same problem, almost word for word.  While describing Kyle’s behavior, she said it was an exact replica to her own behavioral situations with her nephew, exactly, down to every drama moment.  What are the common denominators to this behavior?  Both kids eat junk, play hours upon hours of videos games, get no exercise, and basically have little to no structure.

Trying to get this under control and do right by Kyle, I don’t assume I have all the answers, but I will find an expert who does.  I  consulted another friend of mine, who’s a school psychologist!  Perfect!  She handles children’s behavioral problems on a daily basis.  I explained the entire scenario.  Her solution?  Reward with good behavior.  I agree!  If Kyle does good, then a reward is called for.  But what?  My initial friend, mentioned earlier with her nephew, and I tried to brainstorm ideas.  You know what conclusion we came to?  There’s nothing!  No, seriously.  These kids have way too much, and that takes away the opportunity to treat them, or surprise them.  Ultimately, they are rewarded all the time for bad behavior.

This is a poor example, but one that came to mind.  When I was a kid, we were never allowed fast food, only when we went to the doctors as a treat.  Not that fast food or even food should be a reward, but I can’t even use that because his off days, Kyle’s usually filled with junk. (We always cook three meals a day and most of it is raised or butchered by our own hands.  Although my parents do sneak in garbage every once in a while.)  If I gave Kyle another video game, I’m fueling the fire for spending more time on those mind sucking animations that create laziness, and that started this miserableness with the kid.  (I try to teach moderation.)  Money?  Forget it!  I tried to have Kyle work for my company, Thrill of the Hunt entering data, and I paid him.  He wanted nothing to do with it.  Why?  Because if he wants money to go to the movies or to buy something, he simply asks for it and it appears.  He’s not stupid, he’s working the system.

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For Kyle’s 9th birthday, I bought him flying lessons. It was a fun day! 7/24/10

Yes, at this point, anyone with any common sense is realizing the real problem at hand.  It may result with Kyle, but it doesn’t stem from him.  This is what’s causing friction between us.  I don’t, and I will never buckle to the kid, even if it’s not totally his fault.  Sure, I do make compromises, but I won’t tolerate all this, and he knows it.  Hence, his reason for ignoring my phone calls, pushing my buttons and then claiming I’m always yelling, and trying to avoid hanging out with me because I expect him to do chores.

Let’s get this straight.  He does chores maybe once a month, more in the spring and summer months, but I don’t ask him to break his back, or to consume his entire day.  Well, actually it usually does take the whole day, about five hours of arguing, whining and moving at a snail’s pace, and then a half an hour of actual work.  Do I give in?  NOPE!  Why?  Because I want to do what’s right for Kyle.

Kyle’s biggest complaint about me?  You’ll love this one!  I make him take walks (less than a mile, to three miles total) with me and the dogs in the woods.  It’s good for him to get off his iPhone (yes he has an iPhone 6 loaded with video games) and stretch his legs, while recharging his battery in God’s country, and giving the dogs some exercise.  Kyle’s response nearly EVERY time, results in crying for at least an hour, taking another hour to get dressed, and complaining the entire walk, at least until he breaks a sweat and then he’s good (sometimes).  Yes, once he starts clearing his head, he’s happy and enjoys himself.  Granted, it’s getting harder and harder to get to that point, but I won’t give up.  Why?  Because I want to do what’s right for Kyle.

How about other activities?  I’ve tried these and then some, but are denied as the ideas passed my lips.  Shooting at the gun range?  No.  Roller skating?  No.  Shopping?  No.  Playing a board games or chess?  No.  Going to the comic book story. (used to be his hang out)  No.  Walking around a park?  Hell no!  Movies?  Maybe.

So back to my original story, what good could come from our blow out on Sunday and all this tension?  A lot!  I was able to justify my true intentions, so Kyle really understood my point-of-view.  I explained that I’m willing to fight for him.  I’m willing to fight to my last breath for his well-being and his long-term happiness.  I will fight all the video games in the world, and preservative filled foods, and anyone trying to sabotage his natural goodness for their own self satisfaction and easy parenting.  I’m not doing this for myself, but for him.  I won’t give in to him or give up on him, not because I enjoy the fights or I have nothing else to do or it’s the easy way.  NO!  On the contrary, I’m taking the difficult path.  Sometimes doing what’s right isn’t easy, but I will fight for Kyle every step.  I also explained to Kyle that no matter what happens in life, I have his back and I will fight for him every time.  I will fight the devil if I have to, to make sure he’s following in the way of the Lord.  My actions won’t be halfway, or passive aggressive, I will fight for him head on.  Why?  Because Kyle’s worth it, every difficult argumentative whiny moment of his existence is worth trying to do what’s right by him.  That’s how much I love that little guy.

His response?  A few tears were shed, but nothing said.

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Kyle & Aunt Nikki hiking up the hill with their trusty walking sticks. Look who’s pulling up the rear? 2012

My job as his Aunt Heather and godmother, isn’t an easy one, but one I’ve been completely dedicated to since he was born.  Ryan trusted me these responsibilities and he knew, when it came down to it, I would always fight for what’s right by this little boy.  I know if Ryan was alive, he’d have my back and agree with me, for he wouldn’t have tolerated a bratty kid either.  And he would believe in Kyle like I do, and know he’s a better kid than his actions are portraying.  Kyle’s not bad, just spoiled, and a kid who’s becoming a teenager, a difficult stage in itself without compounding it with other issues.

The solution to all this?  I agreed to never raise my voice to Kyle again (even though that’s how I was raised), as long as he promises to keep his attitude in check and listen to me when I tell him to do something, no more whining and complaining.  Begrudgingly he murmured, “Yeah.”  I did blatantly explain, to avoid confusion, that I love him wholeheartedly and I’m not trying to be a roadblock or an opposing force, but one that’s trying to guide him to being a good person and to keep him on the path of righteousness for his own sake.  We’re a team, we’ve always been a team, and we’ll always be a team.  I will never give up on him!  No matter what.  That’s family, and that’s love.

On a side note, my cat Storm, a.k.a. Lady Fluffington, and my dog, Seven hate it when I’m yelling, they really get upset and I don’t enjoy it either.  I’m kind of relieved over our new compromise.  It will force me to stop and think, in turn making me a better person.  I told you, we learn from each other!

I believe this was a good stepping stone, one long over due.  I have faith in Kyle, and don’t expect perfection from him, but only good intentions and everything for his own well-being.

It was also brought to my attention that this blog is hurting Kyle and his adolescents.  I disagree, for I never divulge everything, and I still keep Kyle’s privacy, more so than most.  This blog is the same as other “mommy” blogs and those who post on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or Vine etc. I don’t regularly go in that direction, instead I choose a well thought out blog post.  If I thought this blog was truly hindering Kyle, then I would delete it immediately.

Unbeknownst to some, I get a lot of private messages giving me guidance and sharing personal stories to assist me with Kyle, or others take my advice for his or her own personal dilemmas.  This blog has been a learning experience for me and my readers.  Plus, it’s a way for my family and Ryan’s friends to stay in touch.  Let me get back to the real reason I write.  It’s for Kyle, to have an account of his life stories, something to read when he’s older.  I want him to always know his dad and his family.  A minor point, but I do use this blog for my company, Thrill of the Hunt.  Perhaps, I might cut down on the Kyle stories, and focus on his dad and other activities.  Time will tell.  God speed!

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Hiking & Outdoors,Hunting & Fishing,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Thrill of the Hunt Scavenger Hunts,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Laughing About Nothing … Hitchhiker

Make your mistakes, take your chances, look silly, but keep on going. Don’t freeze up.  ~Thomas Wolfe

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Kyle riding a motorcycle at Idlewild Park, Ligonier for the Gutchess picnic. 8/2004

Kyle always surprises me, especially with what he knows.  This time it’s what he didn’t that took me completely off guard.

Okay, I’ll set the stage.  Sunday night, I picked Kyle up from his youth group meeting and we proceeded to drive through Latrobe.  It was later, probably about 8:00 pm or so and definitely dark.  Why is this pertinent?  It is!  As we drove along, I barely noticed an older gentleman, who practically jumped into the street sticking his thumb in the air.  His white or silver hair  juxtaposed against his entirely black attire scared me.  I know smart right, head-to-toe in solid black, lurking in the shadows of the night, while practically playing chicken with moving vehicles.  I swerved into the left lane to miss him, before I stopped at our red light about ten yards away.  Yeah, I checked to make sure our doors were locked.  Check!

During this ordeal, Kyle was jarred a little from my fancy footwork behind the wheel, as well as me saying something like, “Whoa, buddy!” and “What the heck ?”  It really happened so fast.  While waiting for the light to turn green, I kind of reiterated the scene.  That’s when I found myself baffled and yet humored.

I made a comment about the hitchhiker and Kyle asked, “What’s a hitchhiker?”  What?  Yep, I’m totally serious!  He truly didn’t know what a hitchhiker was.  Then the conversation went something like this.

Me:  “He wants a ride somewhere, that’s why he’s hitchhiking or trying to, I almost hit him.”
Kyle:  “How do you know he was trying to hitchhike?”
Me:  Slightly sarcastic, “Because his thumb was in the air.”
Kyle:  “Does that mean he needs a ride?”
Me:  “Well, yeah.  You know, you’ve seen people walk along highways with their thumb sticking in the air, basically screaming, “Pick me up”, they’re hitchhiking.”
Kyle:  “I’ve never seen that before!”
Me:  “Really?  Well, that’s what he was doing.  Although, they’re usually not that aggressive.  He practically jumped up on the hood of my car.”

Let the silliness begin!  There’s always one moment with us that sends us over the edge to the land-of-no-return humor.  That was it.  Kyle looked at me with wide eyes, and a huge ornery grin.  So the ridiculous story unfolds!

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Kyle driving his bumper car around at Idlewild Park, Ligonier for the Gutchess Picnic 8/2004

Yes, we started laughing.  I’ll take the blame for initiating this one when I said, “What would you do if he jumped on the hood of the car and held on?”  Kyle and I busted out laughing.  Then, I started to make noises like a car while I faked me driving erratically from side to side, to shake the imaginary hitchhiker from the hood of my car.  Instantly, Kyle joined in adding to the sound effects and mimicking my motions.  He said, “Can you image Aunt Heather?  That would be so funny!”

Now, I’m taking it a step farther by adding, “Want me to pull over and have him ride in your lap?  What would you do?”  I was trying to get a rise out of Kyle, however he turned the tables on me with his wit.

It took Kyle merely a moment to concoct his own scenario,  “No Aunt Heather, we’d put him in the backseat.”  Laughing trying to properly express his thoughts to me, he adds, “With all three dogs!  And I’m in the front seat.”  Yeah, that made uncontrollable roars of laughter erupt straight from my gut.  Kyle really painted the picture when he described the scene.  “Can you imagine?  Our boys would be walking all over him and he wouldn’t have any room to sit.”  Kyle’s now really humoring himself, as well as me.  He even added my cat, Storm, a.k.a. Lady Fluffington, to the story.

Playing off of Kyle’s new direction, I declare, “Scooby would be in his face growling and the guy would be too afraid to move.”  I motioned with my hand toward my face, where Scooby’s face would be in relation to our fake hitchhiker.   “Avery would just sit there and drool all over him, and Seven would pay no attention and tramp him down as he pranced back and forth on the seat.”  That’s our dogs, exactly!  Kyle found this story hilarious.  He buckled over laughing.  Actually, we both did.

Now, the crème de la crème, I blurted out, “No!  We pull over, with you sitting in the front seat, and all three dogs in the back.  I open the hatch and tell him that’s his seat.”  We died!  “He might say, “No thanks, I’ll wait for the next ride.”  I love that moment of pure hilarity, whereas you can’t event catch your breath.  In fact, not a sound could be heard.  You know it’s gut stretching!

South Carolina Fort Jackson Summer 1969 Bootcamp Terry, Dad, Charlie Ferry-Pap-Aunt-Heather-Piper

Fort Jackson Bootcamp, South Carolina – Terry, Dad, Charlie Ferry, Pap. Summer 1969

Yes, all this excitement was going on while I was driving, but at least I got Kyle off of his video games to engage with me, even if it was imaginary.  We re-played that entire situation for the duration of the ride, changing things here and there and laughing at each new discovery.

I did explain that hitchhiking was more commonplace in his Gigi’s day.  I explained it to him, as I was told, especially with war veterans who came home and didn’t have a vehicle, so they hitchhiked.  I continued to explain that back in that day, most families only had one car, and sometimes not even that, and sometimes they needed a ride.  I also told him, since the olden days, it’s became less acceptable and now dangerous.  “So don’t ever pick up a hitchhiker or hitchhike yourself!”  Even though he didn’t appear to be listening, I know he was.

I’ve said it before, Kyle is the coolest!  I love being around him and under his thirteen-year old attitude, and general sluggishness brought on by poor eating and mind sucking video games, he has a strong personality and is really very funny.  His sense of humor still reminds me of his Aunt Nikki, very Saturday Night Live “esk”.  Nothing wrong with that!

Catch all the ridiculously funny stories!

Laughing About Nothing
Laughing About Nothing … True Story

Laughing About Nothing … Cats!
Laughing About Nothing … Truck Horn!
Laughing About Nothing … Dog in Space!
Laughing About Nothing … Our Dog vs. A Robber

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Family,Observation & Imagination,Pets,Travels,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Christmas Equals Childlike

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that.  ~Bob Newhart

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Nicole & santa, late 1970s.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine, who’s kids are now grown adults.  Let’s keep it into perspective, they’re only in their twenties.  We were laughing at how, especially boys, are sometimes grown and yet, they are still kids.  He called them man boys.  That about sums it up.  It’s those moments when they act like little adults and impress the heck out of you, but then turn around and make the stupidest or most immature decisions.

Example time.  The other week when we put up the Christmas tree at my parent’s house, Kyle was a huge help!  The Christmas Tree  He basically took the reins and screwed in the base of the tree by himself, and did it right and swiftly, without being asked.  It saved dad from laying on the hardwood floor and contorting his old out-of-shape body from doing it.  Dad and I were a bit astounded.  Literally, dad just stood there and asked if he needed help.  Nope.  None was needed.  Kyle even gave me direction on how to move the tree around to assist him and have it set correctly and sturdy.  Excellent job!

While we were adding the lights, I was jumping from couch to stool to recliner and back again.  On one of my trips, I caught the edge of the recliner, which caused it to tilt, into the tree, with me on it, out of balance.  During this seemingly slow motion event, Kyle instinctively reached for me, but threw himself on the recliner to counter the weight.  Eventually, I came crashing down on the edge of the recliner and into Kyle.  First, we both looked at each other in shock, and then I said, “Did you try saving the tree over me?”  Kyle snickered and said, “Well, it looked like the entire chair was going into the tree and I didn’t want it to fall over.”  Well played buddy!

Now for the mind of a kid.  After decorating, Kyle was going on a tangent about getting toys to build and play with.  Granted, he is thirteen and his interests now include Warmachine as well as his videos games.  However, he was getting excited like he was two years old again!  A few weeks before that, he comprised a list of what he really wanted and called my sister to review the items, just like he always has since before he was able to read and write. (Either mom or myself would write up the list as per his dictations)

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Ryan at gram & pap’s. As far as I can remember, they always had a fake tree, which I never liked. 1984

This one is mind blowing!  Within the last few months, Nicole hurt her knee.  When Kyle found out that my sister was out of commission and was having a difficult time getting around, he exclaimed “What?  Well, can Aunt Nikki send my presents home for Christmas?”  That was his big concern.  Not for her, but for his gifts.  He also called her to remind her to order his presents so they will arrive in time for Christmas.  He is too much!

Recently, Kyle found out that his Aunt Nikki has to work a half day on Christmas Eve Day.  We always celebrate Christmas the day before, a tradition that has always been since I can remember.  That way Christmas Day is not so rushed and can be more relaxed.  Well, once Kyle got word of his Aunt Nikki’s schedule, he freaked!  “Can we still open presents throughout the day before she gets here?” he asked.

You see, ever since Kyle was a little tyke we set up Christmas Eve Day in that fashion so Kyle would enjoy each of his gifts, and more importantly so he wouldn’t explode while staring at the pile of wrapped packages under the tree.

It goes like this, once Kyle gets up, which is usually around 5:00 am or 6:00 am, he gets to pick one present to open.  He always staked out the presents before hand and had a plan of attack walking into the day.  That kid always knew the shapes of the boxes and the sounds made upon rattling.  He would play, or put together, or whatever needed applied to the first gift, then by the time he was done with the first toy, it was time for him to pick the second, not necessarily every hour on the hour, but whenever it was all agreed upon.  This continued all day, even after church into the evening.  It was a great way to spread out the fun of Christmas and allowed Kyle to enjoy and play with each gift, not that all of them were toys.  Nope, not with his Aunt Heather on the case bearing the unconventional gifts.

Anyway, Kyle was still holding this pre-arranged plan to heart for this Christmas Eve Day.  He was also walking around talking about the items he was going to put together.  I know he’s getting some Warmachine figurines that are little models to be glued and painted, but no one was getting him Legos or such.  What is going on in that mind of his?  He really wants to build something!

Another quick story.  About a week ago, I was picking Kyle up off of the bus.  I knew I was cutting it close, either the bus dropped him off or was on its way.  I called Kyle to inform him that I was waiting for him in the driveway.  He updated me that he was in the house.  Great!  In my mind, perfect timing.  Well, I was told differently.

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Pap playing with Chad at gram & pap’s house. I have no idea who is sitting by pap with the barrel of the rifle pointed up. I bet that’s Chad’s rifle from pap! 1973

Kyle was not happy with my early arrival, questioning me why I was so early.  I simply responded that I was and I told him to get his stuff together so we can leave.  His response?  “Well, can you wait I wanted to play this video game for a little bit.”  Seriously?  Are you kidding me?  My response?  “So you want me to sit in the driveway (in the cold) and wait for you to play a video game, that you play during the week?”  Kyle’s response?  Crickets.  Then he said, “Well, ya, I really wanted to play this game and you weren’t suppose to be here till later.”  Kyle’s tone was whiny and mine was getting angry.  “Kyle!  Are you suicidal?  I can’t believe you actually expected me to sit in the car and wait for you to play a VIDEO game!  Let alone ask me!  Who do you think you are talking to?”  More crickets.  Then he proceeds to inform me,  he still needs to get his stuff together, like that put me in my place, until I responded.  “You’re not even ready?  And yet you planned on playing a video game first?  NO!  You have five minutes!”

Needless to say, Kyle made it in time, not very happy with me, but almost realizing the mistake he made, almost.  Yes, I did give him a good talking to.

I was telling another good friend of mine about this man boy phenomenon, while on the way to the gym.  Her one nephew is going through the same stage, although he is a few years younger than Kyle.  Her nephew is claiming to be nearly a teenager, (he’s only ten or eleven) and that he can watch “R” rated movies and he’s practically an adult.  Yet, his actions scream child.

Sometimes I wonder if my brother was the same way, for I truly don’t remember or never paid attention.  Ryan was always mature with his work ethic and drive.  He could always work on cars, like adults, but sometimes would construct the strangest contraptions, the imagination of a kid.  Who Does Kyle Favor More, His Dad?

I guess I should just face facts, Kyle is in deed a Piper, through and through.  Maturity is secondary to us and sometimes never achieved.  I love Kyle’s enthusiasm for Christmas, even though it’s about his gifts.  Regardless, Kyle always did say “Christmas lights make the whole world beautiful.”  Lighting Up the Holiday I also know Kyle does know the true meaning of Christmas, even though he doesn’t let on.

Kids do make Christmas!

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,LEGO's,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Reminiscing,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Painting Warmachine

People do not change, they are merely revealed.  ~Anne Enright

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Kyle modeling a drawstring book bag for Thrill of the Hunt c. 2012

Kyle’s newest interest is called Warmachine.  Warmachine Tournament  It’s a game that young and old play, whereas the players purchase an army of models and battle each other in tournaments and in fun games.  Even though it’s more in depth than that, that’s my boiled down version.

Warmachine consists of model figures, some plastic and some metal.  The players not only glue their pieces together to reveal the creature or warrior, they also paint them and add embellishments for a desired effect, depending on the army.  There are actual competitions for best artwork!  Yep, in the Warmachine world, these model pieces are a really BIG DEAL!  Participating in the actual game holds no interest to me, unlike Kyle’s Aunt Nikki, but I sure can get into painting.  Kyle knows it!

Last weekend, Kyle wasn’t feeling his best.  He was all congested and just plain miserable.  As the weekend progressed, Kyle was starting to heal and come back to the land of healthy.  As a result, he was feeling a little bit crafty, which in turn made me a bit crafty.  Only because he recruited me to help him paint his Warmachine figurines.

Because Kyle was Pushing My Buttons a few weeks ago, I took away his new Warmachine models as punishment.  A threat that resonated with him BIG TIME.  He didn’t get these game pieces back until last Saturday.  Since he was being so good, and he really was, and I felt bad for him being sick, I buckled and returned his models.  Boy was that chicken soup for his soul, he lit up with pure excitement!

I love doing activities with Kyle, some more so than others, but this one I will admit I do enjoy.  We both sat in the living-room with his chess size figurines that he had previously glued and primered, and began adding color and accenting armor weaponry.  Kyle dictated the color schemes for each, and I gladly followed his instructions, enjoying our quiet time.  After all, it’s his game and I’m just a worker bee.

While painting with a very fine paint brush, trying to use a steady hand, Kyle admitted to me that this was his least favorite part of Warmachine.  In a way I had that feeling, for Kyle is not much of a crafty kid, nor was he ever into coloring and painting.  Even as a youngster, I tried to get him interested in art, drawing and painting with him and taking him to gallery shows and museums, but nope Kyle is genetically designed for other interests, and I guess that includes Warmachine.

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Kyle’s Warmachine figurines 11/2014

My family and I support Kyle’s interest in Warmachine one hundred percent, in moderation of course.  I’m truly glad he found something he enjoys and is not mind numbing or troublesome for the soul.  From what I’ve seen and experienced, Warmachine is an interactive strategy game that is a challenge for all players and requires the use of the brain and pure thinking.  Basically it’s a board game, just a little unconventional, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

posted by auntheather in Education & Learning,Family,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Pushing My Buttons

You think you can break me, you have another thing coming, I invented stubborn! ~Heather Piper

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Kyle has his pappy wrapped around his finger … in this case literally. We love every piece of that little man! c. 2003

Those words have been ringing true over the years.  I’ve said them to Kyle more times than I seriously can recollect.  What I didn’t expect is the irony and the impact they would bring.

Kyle is a good kid, truly.  I’ve said it before and it still holds true today.  I mean that in every sense, he’s kind and sincere, honest and I’d love to say hardworking like his dad, but Kyle tends not to take after the Piper side with respect to work and work ethic, at least at his thirteen years.  He can work hard and has proven to do so, yet that is more a rarity.  When he wants to work toward something, he does his task the best he can.  However, getting him there is a journey all to itself with yelling, threats of being grounded and sometimes and all out war.  He is very difficult and stubborn, I guess like most kids.

I love Kyle with all my heart.  There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him and everything in my life is done with him in mind, EVERYTHING. Ever since God blessed us with that little critter, he has been my world.  Does he know this?  He sure does, even when I get so angry with his attitude or actions (usually lack of action) I still make sure I tell him how much I love him and care about his well being.   Let’s go back to our soul purpose on earth, to ultimately live in the absolute love that God gave us and prepare to live with Him in that love in heaven.  Can I claim this?  Sadly no, but I try.  Does Kyle care?  Probably not.

The more I reflect on my actions from this past weekend toward a teen with an attitude, I realize, he’s just like me, kinda!  First of all I will admit, I know I am not perfect and I believe rethinking some of my poorer decisions and actions can help make me a better person and perhaps a better aunt.  Secondly, coming to the conclusion that Kyle is just like me, blew my mind.

Kyle has always resembled his dad, my brother and yet has glimpses of my dad, Kyle’s pap, but mostly my sister.  The older Kyle gets, the more I see my sister in that kid.  Everything, from the way they move, to the way they think and even their appearance is similar.   Who Does Kyle Favor More, Aunt Nikki?

On a side note, I’ve actually had some friends of mine think Kyle looks just like me.  I’ve never seen it, but I’ll take it.  Perhaps they are seeing what I just realized, how very similar we are personality wise.  I’ve always tried to figure out Who Does Kyle Favor More, Aunt Heather?

Kyle is no stranger to being yelled at, especially from me.  Normally, I don’t completely flip my lid and loose it on that kid, but there have been times when I shamefully have lost my temper, to the extreme.  It does take me a while to get to that point and Kyle seems to be the one to take me there.  It’s not usually one thing, it’s a build up and a repeat of the same behavior that makes me hit an eleven on the old tension scale.

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Kyle as the scarecrow for Halloween. This is how he looks to me with his attitude! Take at the Sacred Heart Church parking lot before the Youngstown Halloween parade c.2010

What sparked this one?  Egg rolls.  Yes!  First let me set the stage.  On Saturday, I was in New Hope, Pennsylvania administering to the Doggie in Disguise Scavenger Hunt for Thrill of the Hunt, my company.  Usually, I need assistance when doing these activities and Kyle usually helps me.  Well recently, his interest in the company has become less than mediocre.  There was a Warmachine tournament at the local comic book store Saturday morning and not wanting him to miss it, I offered to administer to the scavenger hunt solo.  It would have been nicer if I had someone help me set up and wrap up the scavenger hunt, not to mention the nearly six hour drive out and back in a day gets lonesome, but I knew it was important to him.

Let me also include, that for the last several months, not days, not weeks, MONTHS, at the very least since the beginning of summer, Kyle was suppose to get my database for Thrill of the Hunt in order and organized.  He made a deal with me and I was counting on him.  Basically, his job was to enter data so I wouldn’t loose important contacts and so I could keep all the scavenger hunts and their participants in order.  This database was not only going to help me target new businesses but it was to be used to reach out to our customers to promote up coming events.  You know so I can get our numbers up and all things associated with that.  Needless to say, it’s a very important job that I don’t have time for.  Did I also mention I was paying the kid?  Yes, even after all I give him and do for him, I wanted him to earn money, as opposed to just asking for it, a good work ethic lesson.  Plus, I know the experience he would receive by going through this process would be good for his accountability, to be apart of building the company from the ground up, great work experience for his knowledge and as a resume builder, and it would prove to be beneficial to him in his career.  All good reasons for him to administer to the Thrill of the Hunt database.  Could I get someone else?  Sure, but I wanted to give him this opportunity.

Is my database done?  Nope!  Not even close.  I even sat with him to assist at times.  He just wants someone to hold his hand and basically do the job for him!  I even tried helping, by showing him how to manage his time to tackle the mile high pile, piece by piece.  I don’t expect the kid to sit for hours upon hours on the computer entering data, but a half an hour every day is not too taxing.  Keep in mind, he’ll sit there for four even five hours straight, if not more, playing video games.  Yes, there is no reason why he can’t be responsible for completing this task.  None.

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Our cousin Fred, Uncle Sonny & Ryan. Dad’s head made it in the pic. Taken at Uncle Sonny’s kitchen mid 1980s

Now the database not done was becoming a huge argument and growing fast.  Then add in the egg roll instance and Kyle’s attitude became a lethal combination for me to blow up like the atomic bomb.

Back to the egg roll, which was never really about an egg roll.  Kyle was at the Warmachine tournament and mentioned how Gigi got him Chinese food from the place next door, like all the other Warmachine players.  Cool, Kyle’s hanging with people of his own kind and fitting in.  Then, he brought up the egg rolls and how he threw them away.  Keep in mind this all happened right after church, when I should have had God in my heart the most.  Guess not.  I was appalled that he didn’t think of us in any way shape or form to bring the egg rolls home and offer them to us.  I got over that hurt and was more devastated to find out that he never even thought of anyone in the room to offer his egg rolls.  What?  How self centered!

First of all wasting food in my mind is no good.  Personally, I hate it and I hate seeing it.  Then, to not even offer someone what he doesn’t want, not like he’s sacrificing anything, is mind blowing.  Don’t even take me back to the fact that he never even thought of us, at all!  Didn’t I help raise this kid from birth?  Did he forget everything?  Now I began wondering how was he acted during the tournament?  Was he using his manners?  Was he being a teenage spoiled brat?

Well, in the matter of a few minutes that set the stage for the entire Sunday, which included a huge fight about my database.  It got even worse when I found out he didn’t care and was making mistake after mistake with my database!  Was he trying to sabotage the company?  The very company I am working so hard to build.  Apparently, he could care less.  Probably because all he has to do is ask my parents or my sister or anyone else for something and he gets it.  Why would the kid want to work when he gets things handed to him?  The answer is he doesn’t.  I wasn’t asking him to go chop down trees or build a house, he was simply sitting there entering data for a half an hour.

Then, I found out he wasn’t entering the companies!  What?  He didn’t want to, was the point, although he started to make an argument that is was double the work and all I had to do was search what I needed and pull the reports differently.  I did hear him out and considered his suggestion, even though I know it wasn’t to make himself more efficient nor to help me make a better database.  I told him NO, I wanted it done correctly and my way.

Well, Kyle was not going to be told NO, which is not like me at all, none of us were ever like that.  He argued and argued and pouted and commented under his breath and then was moving so very slow, I wanted to send him flying out the window into the my Uncle Walter’s field!

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There’s a Lego war brewing … Kyle’s Lego army. 2012

During all this, the egg roll argument and then later the database discussions, he kept giving me a stubborn snide grin.  AND he was glaring at me eye-to-eye as if challenging me.  Are you suicidal?  It was all around nasty and I was tired of Kyle’s self centered, spoiled, greedy, no-it-all attitude.  I responded as a frustrated human being and up and smacked him in the back of the head.  Was it right?  No.  Did it solve anything?  No. Did I feel better?  Kinda, but not really.

After I walked away and started to come back to reality again, I thought of my actions as well as Kyle’s.  I needed Kyle to learn from his behavior.  I simply told him he was fired from the database, but he was going to still help around the house with manual labor.  (He needed to be taught a real lesson and it was good exercise)  I also informed him that the Warmachine pieces my mom got him for Christmas and gave him early, (yes that’ part of the kids problem, he gets everything on demand, again not working for it) was going to be taken away until Christmas.  AND the WarMachine tournament in November, which is going to be a bigger point system that he was excited about, was not going to include him.  (Plus with me taking way those pieces, he wouldn’t have enough points to compete).

Did Kyle keep up that crappy defiant grin and snicker at me with an attitude?  Nope, his eyes welt up with tears of fear and disappointment.  Bingo!  I found superman’s kryptonite.  I finally outsmarted the teenager!  His stubbornness is a lot like mine was as a kid.  I knew I was bullheaded and headstrong, yet I was always considerate with my family and I was ALWAYS a hard worker when my parents needed something done.  If there was money to be made, I was ambitious and first in line.  When my parents had the sawmill, I begged them to let me work there.  I was never afraid of hard work, just laziness.  You could always count me on me to get stuff done, unlike Kyle.  He has shown that he’s not responsible and can’t be counted on, which breaks my heart to say that.  Perhaps in time as he matures it will change, at least I will do my best to help guide him.

I know I learned a lesson, violence is not a solution.  Sometimes the knowledge and ability to use it is a good way to keep peace.  When I took karate years ago, they taught us we were trained not be aggressive and fight, but to have the ability and knowledge, so when peace is threatened and those that cannot defend themselves are in harms way, we can stand up for those that aren’t able to do so for themselves.  Violence should never to used out of frustration or anger.  Lesson learned.  I too hope Kyle learned a lesson, but I have a feeling there are many more to come.  No matter how hard it will be, I care for Kyle that much and his well being that I’m willing to fight for it.

posted by auntheather in Church,Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Hiking & Outdoors,Milestone,News,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Reminiscing,Thrill of the Hunt Scavenger Hunts,Travels,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Patron the Local Business & Show Appreciation

Behind every small business, there’s a story worth knowing. All the corner shops in our towns and cities, the restaurants, cleaners, gyms, hair salons, hardware stores – these didn’t come out of nowhere.  ~Paul Ryan

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Me & Kyle at the Latrobe Banana Split Festival … showing our local support! Thrill of the Hunt 8/24/13

I’m a pretty practical chick.  Truly, I appreciate the area I live in and frequenting the local businesses.  When it comes down to it, I am a small town gal.  Bricks 4 Kidz, Kyle’s Lego Camp Birthday Surprise, Perfect Gift – The Ugly Quilt  With that comes a pride for my area, including the small businesses.  This is something we are now trying to teach Kyle.  Why?  To always ensure our favorite stores are going to be around for years to come and to support our area.  Granted, this is not a guarantee due to other circumstances, but it’s a start.

No matter what, let me state I do believe in patronizing local stores and keeping mom and pop shops in business.  Granted, sometimes that means slightly higher prices but not always.  Everyone always complains about the cost of things, rightfully so in our economical rough times, but it’s not always the case.  I agree, paying outrages prices for the same item that could be shipped directly to your house is insane.  But a few extra bucks for the store down the street, I don’t really make a big deal about.  And believe it or not, sometimes the local stores have cheaper prices and usually better quality.

I too have been guilty of going online or making my purchases at the big old corporations, which there is nothing wrong with.  I mean, in most cases, those large corporations started out as something small, the local start-up company.  That is the joy of living in a republic, we have options and are free to choose.

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Colleen at the Seton Hill University Decoding the Past Scavenger Hunt. Thrill of the Hunt was part of the Alumni Weekend 6/8/14

What started this dissertation on small businesses?  The comic book store Kyle frequents, Westmoreland Gaming, Sportscards & Comics. Yes, his new hang out to play Warmachine.  Kyle, being a child of our century, is no stranger to going online to looking things up and to making online purchases.  So when he started to get into Warmachine, naturally the kid went to the virtual stores to compare prices with those of the comic book store, especially since he was spending his own money.  What did he find?  Some prices where a couple bucks cheaper online, nothing drastic.

Nicole had a great idea with respect to this issue.  To help the comic book store and Kyle, she actually gives Kyle the difference, so he would continue to patron the comic book store.  After all, it’s only right considering he practically lives there now, playing Warmachine with others and getting advice on the game and just plain taking up space.  This is our way of showing our appreciation.

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Kyle hanging with Mr. Rogers statue in Pittsburgh, Pa. Setting up the Class of 1984 Scavenger Hunt Fundraiser by Thrill of the Hunt. 4/26/14

Please keep in mind the guys that work at the comic book store, as well as the customers, are so very nice.  Truly, going above and beyond helping Kyle out and being very welcoming of our little teenager.  Warmachine Tournament They don’t stop there, they are really friendly with mom, Nicole and me too!  Mom told me while she was sitting there patiently waiting on Kyle to wrap up his battle the one day, Cody, the store manager offered mom something to drink.  Again, well above and beyond, hence the reason for our support.  They order items they don’t have stocked, which usually arive within a week, they are friendly and courteous to EVERYONE who walks in the door and it’s a true family establishment.  Westmoreland Gaming, Sportscards & Comics tolerate no riff raff or anyone acting in a way that is not conducive to family values and an environment for children.

Appreciation doesn’t always come in the form of money.  It can be done in many different ways.

Example, every year mom and I stock up on flowers and plants to decorate the headstones and to plant the garden, respectively. We frequent a small nursery in Derry, Pennsylvania, Orazios.  They are a wonderful family business, who are so very nice, not to mention their prices can’t be beat.  They also have such great quality plants, flowers and veggies, it would be stupid on our behalf not to purchase from them.

How do we show appreciation for their lower prices, good quality plants and excellent customer service, ultimately their family business?  We obviously shop there, but we also simply don’t take anything for granted.  To further demonstrate my point, after mom and I go around and plant the headstones, we don’t discard the plastic containers.  Yes, those thin plastic containers that hold either four or six plants, plus the plastic flats that hold all the plants.  Nope, we don’t like to waste anything.  Those items cost money and the more a business has to replace, the more it costs.  Like it or not, costs are always turned around to be picked up by the patron, basic business.  I believe in thinking ahead, going out of my way to stop waste by returning such items to be reused.

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Me at the POP TRiViA Scavenger Hunt by Thrill of the Hunt, for ECHO Real Estate Services company outing. 6/25/14

Think about it.  If everyone thought to do such an action, then the savings would add up.  In an ideal world, the decreased overhead would be passed along to the customer.  Seriously, if not, I’m fine with the local business making more profit.  That means they will be in business for years to come.  Putting aside extenuating circumstances, that’s probably the number one reason businesses go out of business, lack of profits.  After all that’s why they are in business in the first place, among other reasons I’m sure.  So if they make more profits and yet still sell great quality products at lower prices, win win for everyone.

Just thinking outside the box, maybe if it’s a local coffee shop, (I know I don’t drink coffee but work with me)  bringing in your travel mug when getting a coffee to go.  Or bringing your own bag instead of taking the store plastic bag.  I guess, these are just good practices anyway to eliminate waste and excess.

Please also keep in mind, large name brands could fall into this category.  Example, franchises are sometimes owned by local patrons.  They are also the ones who sponsor events like little leagues and they give back to the community and supply jobs to the area.  Just because they have a big name associated to a business, behind the curtain could be your neighbor.

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Thrill of the Hunt in Annapolis, MD for the Heart & Soul Scavenger Hunt, Davita’s company outing 3/18/14

Thrill of the Hunt
Yes, I too am a small business owner, a local Latrobe, Pennsylvanian homegrown company.  Being the co-owner of Thrill of the Hunt, a division of The Piper Corporation, we develop and administer to theme scavenger hunts for business functions, fundraisers, events and all sorts of parties, you get the point.  We also host public scavenger hunt events, our more popular being our dog scavenger hunts.  I could go on about our company so if anyone is interested, I can be reached at heather@PiperCorporation.com or visit our website Thrill of the Hunt.

Granted, I don’t have a retail store, but it is nice to see the local people wanting us to succeed. There is nothing better than positive vibes!  How do they do that?  Sometimes the best support is speaking honestly over my company, either good or bad.  I appreciate the feedback, ultimately helping to make my product and services better.

Also, the best support comes in the form of word-of-mouth.  When I hear others telling their friends and family about Thrill of the Hunt, I really get excited and it helps to recharge my battery.  Not to mention, those who have participated in one of my scavenger hunts are excited about them.  It’s even better when the scavenger hunt is still being talked about long after the event.  I love to hear that!  That’s exactly what I want, others to enjoy themselves and just plain have a great time!

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Jenny Singer with Thrill of the Hunt at Steelerfest in Latrobe, PA. 8/2/13

Believe it or not, just because I am a Latrobe based business, I also help the areas I attend in many different ways.  With our public scavenger hunts, I try and incorporate the small local businesses, adding them as part of the scavenger hunt, driving traffic directly to their doorstep.  I also train Thrill Leaders to work my scavenger hunts, providing experience and employment in those particular areas.

Now don’t get me wrong, if a company has poor quality or horrible service then they are on their own as far as I’m concerned.  If you take those negative aspects and add in no selection or terrible hours, then they need to reconsider their business and either make adjustments or part ways.  Just because they are local, doesn’t mean I, as a customer have to be treated as an after thought.  Nope!

So what is the point of this?  Simply patronize local businesses and home grown companies.  Take the few extra minutes to think like a business owner with respect to recycling or saving them costs or offering them constructive feedback.  It could mean saving you money in the long run or having a local business that will go above and beyond for you, which might come in handy one day.  There are many ways to show appreciation, even by writing a blog entry, reading it and passing it along!

posted by auntheather in Common Sense,Education & Learning,Family,Farming & Planting,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Thrill of the Hunt Scavenger Hunts,Video Games & Games and have No Comments

Warmachine Tournament

May the odds be ever in your favor!  ~Suzanne Collins

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Kyle preparing for his 1st Warmachine tournament. He was beyond excited! 8/9/14

What the heck is Warmachine?  Believe it or not I can answer that one!  Warmachine is a model game whereas people put together these figures like any model.  Yes, just like model cars or trains or planes.  For the most part, they are glued and painted and tended to with such care as if they were the Crown Jewels.  However, Warmachine takes the hobby a step further.  The figurines are played on a four foot by four foot battlefield against others of the same interest.

According to Wikipedia Warmachine is a tabletop steampunk wargame produced by Privateer Press.

This game is fairly new in the gaming world, from what I’ve been told.  It’s been around for over ten years.  In that time, established tournaments and practices all over the world have had been set-up and competed in.  There are even championship type of games.  Yes, this happens in plain view without knowledge of it, only to someone like me who has no interest in such games, but those who do are well aware.

Interesting tidbit, I heard there is a big tournament in Poland this year and the United States is allowed to send two teams for our representation.  That’s actually pretty cool, if I understood correctly.  I was also informed that this game is very competitive in Korea.  Apparently, they’ve taken the game to another level of intensity.

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Kyle’s Khador army …. prepping his troops for the Warmachine tournament. 8/9/14

Again how am I now privy to such information and inside scoop for being an outsider?  I have a man on the inside, Kyle!  Since his birthday a couple of weeks ago A Teenager! Happy Birthday Kyle! Gift of Music – The Final Piano Lesson, I’ve mentioned everything has changed, for us all.  Once Kyle found out we have a comic book store in Latrobe, he’s been wanting to stop in and check out the scene.  My sister took him and somehow he got hooked on Warmachine, purchasing his first starter set just after his birthday.

Ever since then, he’s been begging us to drop him off at the comic book store to hang out, trying for a chance encounter with another Warmachine player for an epic battle.  We have, but not without constant communication and for short periods of time.  In those “freedom” sessions, Kyle has battled the locals in Warmachine.  He’s loving every waking minute of it.  He even tried to take me to the dark side by teaching me the game, fat chance.  Although, I do believe he has my sister’s interest peeked.  She’ll be next on the list to drink the Warmachine cool-aide.

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Warmachine battle taking place, check out the pink figurines! Yep, chicks love this too. 8/9/14

This past Saturday, there was a Warmachine tournament.  Yes, Kyle was psyched about it since he heard the news. Literally, he was painting his figurines and reading up on the game all week, like he was cramming for a big exam.  Kyle’s faction he plays is Khador.  From what Kyle has told me, they come from the north.   Awesome, I can dig that!

There was a lot going on, but I changed my plans to spend the day with Kyle.  Personally, I thought it might take a couple hours, until I was informed to plan on a seven hour day, if I was fortunate.  The length depends on the number of participants.  Lucky me, there was only about ten participants, five matches playing at a clip with a total of three rounds.

Kyle lost his first two matches, but from what I was told he did so with humility and grace.  The one gentleman came up to me and said, “If that was my son I would be so proud.”  I had no idea what he was talking about.  To be honest, I was going to simply thank him, thinking he was talking about a kid who finds this type of gaming fun.  I found out I was wrong when he continued, “He listened to everything his opponent said, and didn’t argue and lost without incidence.”  Kyle was showing good sportsmanship and humility.  That man was right, I should be proud and I most certainly was!

His first match was against a man I’m guessing was in his late forties.  He also happened to be a referee, or whatever they call it when a person monitors matches.  For this game he was a participant, but a very knowledgeable one at that.

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Warmachine tournament at the comic book store. Yes, that’s Kyle at one of the battles! 8/9/14

Kyle’s second match was against the first gentleman’s niece.  Yes, it’s a family gig!  And yes chicks dig this too!  She, Aerial was a lovely gal of seventeen years.  She also goes to different tournaments in New York and such and competes against younger children of single digits.  Can you believe it?   I give this young lady credit, she loves the game and doesn’t seem intimidated by a predominately male presence.  Her game pieces are even mostly pink in color scheme, further bringing a touch of femininity to Warmachine.  She informed me she started playing when she was ten, but also in current years she’s been too busy to really stay in tuned with all things Warmachine.

For Kyle’s third match he battled Aerial’s brother Shawn, being three weeks shy from thirteen.  Finally!  Someone closer to Kyle’s age.  To be honest, this is what bothered me the most, the adult men Kyle was playing against.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I did feel a bit uneasy with Kyle playing with adults, strangers no doubt.  Perhaps it was my ignorance over the game or my fears from the ugliness of reality, or both that swept me away.  However I will admit, I was put at ease with Kyle’s opponent who was closer to his age.

Everyone else in the room?  Yep, I would say just taking a guess, mid to late thirties plus, mostly married.  (Where are their wives and what do they feel about this hobby?  I guess it’s no different than fantasy football.)  Everyone there was very nice and patient and encouraging with Kyle.  I couldn’t ask for a nicer group of people for him to hang out with for the day.

The mediator or referee or whatever his official title was, happened to be a very articulate and kind man.  He entertained my thousands of questions and tried to explain this world and the interest others have in it, as best he could.  Naturally, he too had a passion for Warmachine.  Kudos to him for doing what he loves.

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Kyle heavy in Warmachine battle… his opponent was very helpful to Kyle. 8/9/14

Now I can’t claim that I would ever get into this game, which Kyle will be disappointed to hear, but I can also come to the realization that eventually I will know more about this game than most.  I support Kyle in whatever he does and whatever hobby peeks his interests or his future interests, as long as he keeps them in check and they don’t rule his life.

The local comic book store is full of very nice people. I mean that, exceptionally nice and sincere.  Every time I’ve been in there, they’ve treated Kyle and myself as a special guest.  Not out of brown nosing or to butter us up to spend more or anything negative of the such, but simply to be nice.  They all enjoy their jobs and love the games they sell.  It’s definitely a job of passion.  I’m impressed!

In fact, upon Kyle’s registration for the tournament, we were told there are different required army points to play.  Kyle was shy by about twelve points, being a newbie and all.  Meaning he didn’t have enough figures to total the needed points.   The comic book store employee called someone to see if Kyle could borrow a few figurines for the tournament to get him eligible.  It was approved and Kyle was in business.  I was very grateful, as was Kyle.

One another side note, I totally can get into the painting of these figurines.  I asked Kyle if I could paint one.  He told me no.  I was kind of bummed, but whatever.

Yes, Kyle lost all three battles, but I believe he had a blast and learned a lot.  Of course, experience is a big part of life and learning.  He is now on his way to being a Warmachine maniac, within reason of course.

posted by auntheather in Education & Learning,Observation & Imagination,Patience,Video Games & Games and have No Comments
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