‘Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world.  ~William Shakespeare

Kyle as Anakin Skywalker. He wore it all weekend and wouldn't take it off.

You know, there are always some that think negatively upon Halloween and then there are others who take it to extremes.  And when I say extremes, I mean in a sadistic, not so positive way.  I always liked Halloween.  I enjoyed the challenge of being creative with costume ideas and I especially liked making them.  Even when I was at Sacred Heart, we were allowed to dress up, have our own school parade, and have a Halloween party.  The nuns never dressed up, but they enjoyed watching the creativity and eclectic mix of costumes.  You see, they were never opposed to Halloween, especially when we dressed up as Saints. Probably because they had faith that they taught us what the holiday really meant.  They knew we were aware of the feast of All Saints Day, the celebration of those who have passed.  A time to pray for those loved ones who have departed this life into eternity.  It’s also symbolic of acknowledging that evil does exist as much as good.

Elastigirl and Dash- Incredibles. Latrobe Halloween Parade

Things are so different now.  Please indulge me for a moment and take a step back with me to reminisce about my Halloween days.  When we were growing up, we lived in a rural area.  We didn’t have a neighborhood of people to trick or treat.  Every year, either my mom or my cousin Karen would pile all of us, including my cousins, in the car and take us up on the ridge to visit family to get our share of the Halloween goodies.  Looking back on it now, I loved trick or treating.  Not only did we get candy, but we also got to visit family.  And the best part was driving to get there and getting back home.  We would go when it was dark and driving up the ridge through the trees during Halloween was priceless!!  It really got you in the spirit of the season, pardon the pun.  When we stopped at my Uncle Ray and Aunt Clemmy’s house, Uncle Ray would make us homemade potato chips in the barn. They were so fresh we would have to wait for the chips to cool down before snacking.  Then we would go down the road to visit more family, eventually hitting my grandparents, my cousins grandparents, cousins and close friends of the families.  There was no special day we would trick or treat.  Whenever it was most convenient, mom would just give a call to a few houses to spread the word that we were heading up.

Chad & Kyle

The Wednesday before Halloween was the Youngstown’s Parade.  It was so much fun to line up in the parking lot of Sacred Heart School and Church getting ready to walk the Main Street.  The fire trucks were lit up and the end always resulted in more treats.

Later on, to keep the Halloween tradition alive, without being childish, we would go bagging.  Now it was not a common thing to do, as I later found out.  I assumed everyone knew what bagging was but, alas, it must have been a Latrobe thing.  You see, bagging usually happened with preteens/teenagers.  It was a way to have safe Halloween fun and still collect the annual candy funds.  When I was younger, when you went to the grocery store, you always received brown paper bags to carry your groceries.  Usually they were recycled into covers for school books or trash bags but, at Halloween, they were used for bagging.  Everyone in your group dressed incognito, usually all black, and we would decorate the bags as desired.  The design was always accompanied with a message, something like “Please feed these hungry ghosts” or “Leave us a Treat”.  Then what you would do is sneak up on someone’s front porch, leave the bags facing the front door, ring the door bell and run and hide in the bushes.  Then the person at the front door was supposed to drop candy into the bags.  However, baggers would usually get strange items like toothpaste or batteries.  I think I got a rock before.  Anyway, that also made it fun to tell people about the treats received.  Sometimes the trick or treatee would steal your bag.  But, if you were smart, you would bring back-up.  And sometimes, the trick or treatee would wait for the trick or treaters to retrieve their bags and then jump out at them and chase them off the porch.  It was actually a lot of fun and would give us stories to tell for the next month or so.

Ah yes the good old Halloween fun.  The time when all the world’s a stage and you write your own story.  What’s your story?

Have a happy Halloween!

Kyle & Gigi in parade

When witches go riding,
and black cats are seen,
the moon laughs and whispers,
‘tis near Halloween.  ~Author Unknown

We were the Incredibles, Elastigirl (me) and Dash (Kyle). Yep, I made these costumes. Best costumes ever!

Yesterday, mom, dad and I went to see Kyle’s Halloween parade at his school.  As he marched around the parking lot with all the other ghosts and ghouls, I realized I will only get to see him do this one more year.  Where has all the time gone?  No more asking him about his Halloween party at school, no more getting excited about what he’s going to be for Halloween, no more thrill of trick or treating, and no more candy!  Yikes!  Of course this shouldn’t be a surprise to me. Every year since Kyle understood the tradition of getting dressed up and receiving candy, we would start talking about his costume over the summer.  I loved it!  I must say I would get equally as excited as Kyle, maybe more.  For Kyle’s early years, his Aunt Nikki would purchase his costumes online and send them home.  It was her way of being involved since, at the time,  she lived so far away in Tucson, Arizona.  Then, when he became of age to make his own decisions and had his own costume opinions, I sometimes would make our outfits, yep, from scratch.  I would make my own patterns and sew and sew and sew or Papier-mâché.  And, of course, we usually went as a pair.  But, this year was different.  I asked Kyle during the summer what he wanted to be for Halloween and he would comment, “I’m not sure.” or “I don’t really care.”  That was my first indicator that Kyle was growing up and was no longer excited about the scary fun of the season.

This morning was one of those memorable perfect mornings.  Kyle and I got up around 6:30 am and we cuddled in the reclining chair while watching Saturday morning cartoons.  I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I must have blinked quickly a dozen times before coming to the realization of the blanket of fresh snow outside.  “It snowed!” I told Kyle.  He immediately said, “Can we get our snowboards out?”  I had to giggle at that comment.  What was really funny, about an hour later, my sister started texting us to see what we were doing.  Only my family is up that early on a Saturday morning.  Yep, it was a perfect morning!

My Dash- Kyle thought people wouldn't recognize him in his costume.

While sitting there I couldn’t help but reflect back on my years of Halloween fun.  I remember we, as in my brother and cousins and I, would go down to my uncles barn and prepare the feed corn for corning.  If you are not aware what corning is, it’s simply throwing corn at cars, houses, and people in the dark during the Halloween season.  Once we corned grandma Ferry’s car.  She wasn’t really my grandma.  She was my neighbor and, since I only had one grandma living, she treated us like her grandchildren.  Anyway, we corned her car as she drove past one night and practically gave her a heart attack.  She stopped the car and laid into us.  Like I said, she treated us like her very own.   We never corned cars again.  What we did was continue to run through the woods, in the middle of the night, and sneak up on each others houses and corn the heck out of them.  It was always so much fun sitting there watching TV and, the next thing you know, you would hear the corn hit the front porch and window.  Then Ryan and I would get up, grab our bag of corn, and run out after my cousins.  Halloween was always such a fun time to me. I’ll share more stories soon.

Walking in the Latrobe Parade... the Incredibles and Heather and Aden beside us!

As Kyle and I sat there, we started to get restless.   He decided to get dressed and take the dogs outside.  He got their collars on and said to me, “Should I let the beasts out?” Kyle took the dogs outside to play in the snow.  He stood out on the porch in a t-shirt and sweatpants yelling, “It’s snowing!”  The dogs ran around the yard, tearing up the new snow like they were children.  Just then, Kyle peeked his head in and yelled, “Get the sled!” and came in to put on gloves, a hat, and a jacket.  He went out and threw snowballs at the dogs as they chased him around.  Yep, I had a great morning!

But Peter said to them: Do penance: and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ, for the remission of your sins. And you shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.  ~Acts 2:38

Kyle's Baptism at Sacred Heart Church. Godparents: Me, Aunt Nikki, and Casey Olczak (cousin) 10/28/01

Kyle was Baptized 10 years ago today.  It was kind of a blur so I wanted to take a minute and reflect on the events of the day.   Kyle was supposed to be Baptized the following weekend, at least that’s what Ryan planned but, with his untimely death, we moved it up a weekend.  We figured since everyone was home for Ryan’s funeral, it made sense to Baptize Kyle earlier than planned.

Kyle feeding up, getting ready to be Baptized - held by Gigi and prepped by mom.

Kyle’s Baptism took place the day after we buried Ryan.  It was a numbing feeling being back in the church, sitting in the same seat the day after hearing Ryan’s eulogy and watching his casket wheeled down the isle and back out to his final resting place.  It was such a foggy moment, realizing that I was sitting in the place where I watched Ryan get married by the same priest who is now burying him.  The same place where Nicole, Ryan and I were all Baptized,  received the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, and Reconciliation.  The same seat where I was now a part of blessing this baby who was almost three months old.

I pass Kyle along to his mom. He brings a smile to my face.

Sacred Heart Church was always a part of our lives, as well as my cousins who lived by us.  Going to Sacred Heart School and the church was always such a part of our daily routine, we never knew a time without either.  In fact, my mom, who also went to Sacred Heart School, received her Baptism, Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, Reconciliation, Confirmation, and was married in the church too.  As I sat there, I realized how much of our lives were spent in the church and how many special occasions involved the church.  It was a good feeling among all the confusion and sorrow.  It was a crazy, grief filled week leading up to the Baptism, which was a last minute decision.  But that Sunday was a celebration of Kyle receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  Luckily Ryan had already asked my sister and I to be Kyle’s Godmothers (he couldn’t just pick one of us) and my cousin Casey to be the Godfather.

Gigi feeding our little package.

In fact, I remember when Ryan asked me to be Godmother.  He was sitting at the computer, turned around and said, “So do you want to be Godmother or what?”  My response was, “Cha, of course I do!”  I was happy, truly happy! It was at that moment that I vowed to be the best role model for that little boy and to uphold my role as his Godmother.

The church was packed!  I do remember that as clear as day.  Now I couldn’t tell you who was there but there were a lot of people.  It’s funny what you can remember.  I remember, I didn’t get my suit yet for the Baptism because of all the confusion of the week.  When I went to get dressed, for the first time ever and it’s never happened since, I couldn’t stomach the color black.  I have a lot of suits, mostly black.  But, at that moment, I could not put on a piece of clothing with black.  So I put on a brown suit, which is also unusual because I almost never wear brown.  It’s funny what an exhausted and emotionally drained person is affected by.

I entertained Kyle while we got ready for his Baptism.

After the Baptism, everyone came to my parents house.  There was so much food from the funeral.  You see, literally, from the day Ryan died, people dropped off food, all kinds of food. Each time we walked in the door, after the viewing, there was more food on the table and in the refrigerator.  If I didn’t say it then: Thank You everyone for the food, gifts, support and blessings!  It was much appreciated and much needed.

During chemo, you’re more tired than you’ve ever been.  It’s like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you’re out.  You don’t know how you’ll answer the door when your groceries are delivered.  But you also find that you’re stronger than you’ve ever been.  You’re clear.  Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception.  Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience.  Now it’s instantaneous.  ~Melissa Bank

I thought this quote was appropriate since Melissa is a Pennsylvania native.  The month has already almost passed and I wanted to pay tribute to the brave ones who have survived breast cancer and those who have lost the fight but ended up in a better place.  Unfortunately, I know quite a bit of people who have had to live the word cancer.  There are so many and I don’t want to name them all for fear of forgetting someone or taking away their privacy.  So, this is just a tribute to those brave souls I know and those that I do not.  God Bless!

All the world is a Birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. ~George Harrison 1943-2001

Today is mom’s birthday!!!  Please take a moment to review the many years of mom.  Happy Birthday Gigi!!!

Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught. ~J.C. Watts

What is the limit for pushing someone? When is too much, too much? When you care for someone, is there a limit? Should there be a limit? I guess these are very broad questions that should be narrowed down slightly.

My little man had pneumonia but still loved his flash cards

I love Kyle very very very much, pure and simple!  There will never be a time in which that will ever change. Absolutely, never! So getting that out of the way… Do I push Kyle too much? Knowing that Kyle is a smart, bright and outgoing little man who craves attention and has a ton of potential, is it so wrong to push him to excellence and set his standards high?

Kyle with his Aunt Nikki at the Air & Space Museum 6/27/09

I don’t think so. When Kyle was two years old, I bought him flash cards containing words, colors, numbers, letters and such. He Rocked at them! Not only did he pick up on the basic information, but he really enjoyed playing flash cards with me. Then, by the time Kyle was three years old, I decided to pick up addition and subtraction flash cards. I mean, why not? What’s it going to hurt? I showed him how to add using his matchbox cars as an example and all I can say is WOW! He picked up on the addition so fast, or at least better than I expected, keeping in mind that I’m no expert at raising a kid. But, in my mind, Kyle was doing really well. And more importantly, he enjoyed the flash cards and being challenged. Subtraction was a bit more difficult, but he still seemed to want to learn. Then, by the time he was four years old, I decided to start purchasing workbooks. I intentionally purchased workbooks that were targeted for ages five and up in all subjects. He loved them! The more challenging the books, the more I would see him think and figure out the problems. His little gears were grinding. Being able to participate in such a learning process was truly amazing and a blessing.

Looking back on it now, it seems like such a long time ago.  Kyle is no longer enthused about workbooks, flashcards or even taking a walk with me, which he really enjoyed until a few years ago. I know he is growing up and tastes change, but I believe there are some things that should remain consistent, like education.  Of course that’s where SpyRing comes into play, literally.  It’s an educational card game for children that focuses on reading and reading comprehension coupled with all school subjects.  I can get that later.

Kyle's piano recital 5/17/09

In going through Kyle’s workbooks this weekend, I realized that he doesn’t like to do them, but it does help to sit and work along side him.  He started enjoying them and showing off what he remembered from last year, even though it took me a little over an hour to get him to sit down and do my assigned work.  I kept hearing, “Why, Aunt Heather? Why do I have to do extra work?” and, “I already did my school work, so why do I have to do more?”  Imagine that, in the most annoying whine possible coming from a ten year old.  Of course, every time he said something, I tried to explain that I’m only helping him out and it’s good practice.  But that seemed to give him permission to start the whine recital all over again.  I try to explain that it’s not a punishment, it’s a reward to learn.  Of course, he’s a ten year old that just sees… work.

Well, like I tell Kyle time and time again, “I invented stubborn and I’m not giving up on you.”  I guess that’s part of my job.  Am I the only one who give additional work?  Does anyone else have a child that likes to whine?

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; he makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still water; he restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the says of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.  ~Psalm 23:1-6

Ryan waits for Kyles arrival- 7/30/01

Ryan's Obituary

Ten years ago today was a Tuesday.  There is no doubt I can say it with absolute certainty without checking.  The weather was absolutely perfect, nice warm breezes, clear skies, perfect.  Around midnight, 12:00 am on Tuesday, October 23, 2001, I was going to go for a run.  Sometimes, when I couldn’t sleep, I used to go running, even if it was in the middle of the night.  My place of residence at the time was in a peaceful neighborhood that was very well lit and had sidewalks for safe running, except for the occasional unevenness.  The police also knew me from running around the area.  When running, day or night, they tended to drive past me regularly, checking in on me.  At least that’s what I believed they were doing.  Who knows, they could have thought I was a hoodlum and they were keeping tabs on me.  Regardless, that was the day described to a tee.  I had a hard time sleeping and I contemplated going to my parents house to get some shut eye.  No matter what, I can always sleep at their house.  I opted against going and decided to toss and turn.  Aside from that, things were still good, my world was in tact, until a few hours later.  Little did I know that I was going to receive a phone call that would permanently change my world forever.

It has been 10 years now since Ryan has left us on earth and moved toward eternity.  You know, when you say it’s been 10 years, it seems so long ago, but for me and my family it still seems like yesterday.   My friend Molly told me right after Ryan’s passing, “Everyone will tell you that in time it’ll be ok, it’ll get easier.  They are full of S#@%!  They have no idea.  It will never get easier,  just different.”  You know, she was 100% right!  I always thought of those words over the years and it helped.  I think of Ryan everyday and I miss him terribly, everyday.  But me and my family learned to adjust to this new direction life has taken us, just as everyone else does when faced with a tragedy.

Newspaper Article

My little brother, who was 21 months younger than me, was a really great guy.  Ryan was a hard worker, friendly, and sincere with a big, big heart.  He would have loved watching Kyle grow and he would have been a great father!  Without a doubt, I know Ryan’s proud of Kyle.

I could go on and on about Ryan but I just simply wanted to say that he is missed and I can’t wait to see him again… down the road.

Newspaper Article

Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone.   ~Anonymous

Markelle, Tina, Me, Denise, Esme

I can’t believe this time last weekend I was walking on the sand and smelling the sea air at Hilton Head.  I went to Hilton Head with my good friend Markelle and a bunch of her friends, which I can say are now equally my friends.  We had a great time!  Yes, I went to the beach in October and it was perfect!  The weather was in the 80s, sunny, nice breeze with no crowds.  It was so nice to get away, even if it was just for the weekend.  I’m not much of a beach person, but I do like to hear the waves crashing, the smell of salt water, and the sound of sea gulls.  Something about looking out into the sea and not seeing an end.  Puts your life into perspective and refreshes you at the same time.  I flew into Charlotte and rode with Markelle to Hilton Head.  I love to fly.  I always take a book or two and read throughout my travels, this time was no exception.  It’s so relaxing to not be responsible for getting to my destination, just sit back and read.  This trip included Catching Fire and Mockingjay the second and third books from the Hunger Games trilogy.  On a side note, the hunger game books are really good!

Me and Markelle on our balcony at Hilton Head 10/14/11

Markelle was such a trooper.  She walked along the beach with me and Denise on Friday night, not to mention she got up around 6:00 am (I was up at 5:00 out of habit) on Saturday morning and walked seven miles with me before breakfast.  We even walked later on that day and some on Sunday.  My friend Tree and I always used walking and talking as a form of therapy.  Plus it’s a nice way to catch up on anything and everything.  All the ladies were so patient with me and my up ‘early habits’ and my ‘inability to sit still’ for long periods of time.  No one seemed to mind or had an issue with my desire to sit on the beach, by myself, and read while they splashed around in the water.  Easy going and fun people are the best!

Hilton Head! View from our condo balcony.

It’s funny how much I talked about Kyle during the weekend, I’m sure everyone must feel like they know him by now.  I’m sure it got old, but no one let on.  Then again, all the other ladies talked about their kids too.  It was great swapping stories and listening to different perspectives, ideas, activities and other problems.  Those stories make me feel like I’m not the only one in the boat and I’m on the right track.  I missed my little man terribly though.  I called him on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  My sister came home to spend the weekend with him and he planned out the activities before Nicole even got there.  They went to the Fort Ligonier Days Parade, picked out pumpkins, went on a haunted hayride and went to church.  My sister told me that she asked him, “What do you think Aunt Heather is doing?”  Nicole said his response was, “Probably having the time of her life or missing pudd’in.”  That cracks me up!  Yes I did miss pudd’in but I missed Kyle more.  And you know what, I did have the time of my life.  It made me feel better when I realized how much everyone else missed their families too.  At least I’m not the only one with separation anxiety.

Markelle got up at 6 am with me and did 7 miles. What a friend!

Nicole sent me a picture of his Halloween costume, he’s going as a Spartan this year.  I was cracking up when I saw the picture.  It made me a little sad because I usually help out with the costume, but it was great that my sister had an opportunity to be a part of it.  When Kyle was little she used to pick out his costumes, then for a few years, I would make our costumes.  Nicole told me he took his shield with him and hid behind it during the haunted hayride while the ghouls tried to scare him. I guess he also made a friend with the lady behind them in line behind.  Kyle insisted that they all ride together so he could protect everyone with his shield.  I don’t know why he insists on going on those rides when I don’t think he’s ever even seen them.  He sits with his eyes shut the entire time.

I got up around 5 am, ready to go...

Ah, going away for the weekend.  It was a bittersweet time but, with my sister hanging with Kyle and spending quality time, it was more sweet.  Thank you Esme, Tina, Denise, and Markelle for being just simply fun!  We have to make this trip an annual event.  I love off season and hanging with you ladies!!

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Proverbs

Nicole, Ryan and me with our pappy. Ryan was especially close with pap.

Two Sundays ago was a perfect fall day.  The leaves just started to turn in the Laurel Highlands and the weather was a perfect, comfortable temperature.  Alas I had to run into the office at work to do something for a client.  Unfortunately, I also had to conduct a GOP meeting for my Republican Women’s group right after church and CCD.  So I really didn’t get to hang with Kyle until late Sunday night.  Well, saying Kyle was not happy was an understatement.  Before I left for my meeting, I specifically told him that I wouldn’t be long and when I got back we could ride quads together and go up into the woods or whatever he wanted.  I felt horrible for breaking my promise, but I guess that’s life sometimes, things come up out of anyone’s control.  My mom came to the rescue and went out and watched him ride his quad around the orchard, the house and the garden.

Last week, before I left for a girls weekend at Hilton Head, I went to visit my parents after work.  Naturally, my parents asked me how Kyle’s swimming lesson was that week.  During our little chit chat, dad started to laugh to himself.  You could see the story unfold on his face.  First, I have to tell you that my dad was not feeling well at all that weekend.  I think he got an early bird cold.  Dad told me that Kyle took his temperature.  I said, “What?”  Dad said, “As I was sitting there watching TV on Sunday, Kyle walked up to me and put his hand on my forehead and said, ‘Yep pap pap you’re about 99.9 degrees, not quite a 100′.”  Dad went on to say, “How do you know my temperature?” and dad said, “Kyle put his hand to his own head and said, ‘You’re a little bit warmer than me pap pap, but not much.”

Kyle with his pappy on the quad

Can you believe that, all of a sudden Kyle is a thermometer!  Mom, dad and I just laughed at Kyle and his conclusion.  You know, he didn’t mean for his evaluation to be funny, he was very serious.  He felt really bad that his pap pap was sick, not to mention he really wanted to hang out with his pap pap.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the cards that weekend.  On Saturday, which was an equally nice day, I offered to ride quads with him and at first he refused saying, “I want to ride with pap pap.”  Finally he did agree and we played outside for a better part of the afternoon.  Then I took him to a fall festival at Sacred Heart Church.  He was able to run around with all the kiddies from our church, participate in a bon fire and go on a hayride.  He had a lot of fun so I shouldn’t feel bad about Sunday but it’s hard not to, especially when a promise was broken.  I do a lot of activities with Kyle, but I guess sometimes he just needs his pap.

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.  ~John Powell

Kyle LOVES to build! Thomas the Train was his toy of choice for years. Fort Ligonier Days. 10/2010

A couple of Wednesdays ago, I picked Kyle up for our routine swimming lesson and he was at the door, ready to go.  Please note, Kyle is never ready.  I think he likes having people wait on him, which drives me crazy.  He had his book bag on his back and was out the door even before I could walk up the steps.  He even had his socks and shoes on.  Lately, he’s been trying to get away with wearing his tennis shoes without socks, which is forbidden in my eyes.  I thought, umm that’s unusual. Wonder why he’s so punctual today?

Then Kyle got in the car and it seemed like something was wrong.  I asked him, “What’s wrong?” and he replied, “Nothing,” in a ‘Something’ way.  But I dismissed it, until we were driving and he was very quiet.  He’s usually telling me about some game he was playing, or some battle he won, or some Lego he built.  But nothing!  He was very quiet and reserved, unlike Narrow.  I asked again, “What’s wrong buddy? You seem awfully quiet.”  He shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know.”  I said, “Ok, maybe this is just your down time. I have down time too.” He just smiled but didn’t offer anything more.  So as we proceeded to his lessons, I asked the usual, “How was school? What classes did you have today? What did you eat for lunch? and What do you want to eat for dinner?”  He was still very quiet and reserved. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s not usually forthcoming with any of this information, but at least he gives me a hard time about answering.  Not today.  He almost seemed upset, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  You see, Kyle wears his heart on his sleeve, his emotions shine through in his expressions and body language.  I feel Kyle’s old enough that if he wanted to talk about something, he would.  Again, I dismissed it and we went to class.  He did pretty good and I can tell he was having fun swimming.

Kyle, visiting his Aunt Nikki. Paddle boating on the Potomac in front of the Jefferson Memorial.

After class he still seemed quiet but, at that point, a friend of mine called and I was on the phone when I met Kyle in the hallway as we walked to the car.  To be honest, after I got off the phone I forgot about his odd behavior.  We went to the grocery story to pick up a few items for our dinner.  I promised him I would make chicken quesadillas.  He really didn’t ask me for much while in the store.  Usually, it’s ‘Can I have this? Can I have that?’ but nothing.  We left the store and went back to my house.   As we walked in, Kyle asked if he could help with dinner. I said, “Of course!”  Then, as I was unloading the groceries, Kyle came around the corner with his head down and I noticed he was pulling out a piece of folded paper from his pocket.  He started to say, “Aunt Heather, I have to show you this, but I didn’t want to show you before swimming.”  I said, “What is it buddy?”  And just then as he unfolded the paper I saw it had big red marks on it and a big letter E.

Kyle and his Aunt Nikki. He could figure out any electronic device on his own.

He was so ashamed and was afraid to show me.  I didn’t freak out, I simply said, “What happened?” and he said, “I don’t know, but I got two right.”  I said, “Well thank you for showing me and not trying to hide it from me or let me find it on my own, but this is unacceptable. We’re going to have to review it.”  He nodded his head ’cause he knew better than argue with me over it.  After we made dinner, I sat and reviewed the test with him.  I quizzed him and quizzed him to make sure he knew the material.  I said, “Kyle you the know the difference between a smart person and a not so smart person?”  He said, “No.”  I said, “Everyone makes mistakes, but a smart person learns from their mistakes and tries not to make the same ones again. But a person who is not very smart, doesn’t learn at all or doesn’t take the time to learn form their mistakes.”  Then I proceeded to tell him, “And the signs of a great leader is how well a person can recover from a mistake and really understand what went wrong and use it to their advantage.  Kinda like taking lemons and making lemonade.”  He gave me a sideways smile and gave me that look of I know, Aunt Heather.  Then I said to him, “You know what Kyle? From the way you learned from your mistakes and as quickly as you did, that shows me you are really smart and you have what it takes to be a GREAT leader!”  I proceeded to tell him how proud I am of him for accepting the test as his fault and owning up to it without excuses.

What was even worse, the teacher wanted a signature on the test and he had to ask me to sign it, which is devastating to Kyle.  I was more upset, because I don’t ever want Kyle to be embarrassed or ashamed in school and it broke my heart to think his friends saw the test.

Kyle at Kelly's bridal shower 8/2002. He loved wheels and figuring out how things move and are built.

Some may say that I am really hard on Kyle, but it’s only ’cause I know he can handle the work and he knows better.  Plus, I believe in setting the standards high, not out of reach, but high enough for a challenge.  That way, when the child reaches the goal and at one point or another, they will have truly accomplished something.  They are that much more proud of themselves.  You know what? The following week, we were going over more homework and Kyle was frantically searching his book bag for something.  I said, “What are you looking for?”  He said, “I wanted to show you my math test, Aunt Heather, I got an A ++!”  He was so proud of himself.  I was so excited, I told him that was GREAT!  We talked about some of the problems on the test that he remembered, but he was so bummed it wasn’t in his book bag.  I said, “I believe you buddy and I couldn’t be more proud!”  Then, last night Kyle came to me and said he got an A on his science test and he only missed two on his vocabulary test, which was his nemesis.  He was especially excited to tell me about that test.  He may have been upset over the bad mark a few weeks ago but he sure was on cloud nine from his newest accomplishments.  He knows the standards expected of him and he is striving to meet them.  He is one smart cat and already a success in my eyes!

I’m more scared than most kids. ~Kyle Piper 10/12/11

Kyle's first Halloween. (Lion suit courtesy of Aunt Nikki)

It’s no secret that Kyle is a bit of a scaredy-cat.  What’s really interesting, so was his dad- my brother,Ryan.  When Ryan had to go to the cellar, outside, or go to the garage in the dark, he would run like the dickens.  Even in high school, when my sister was at Penn State and my parents were out late with me at a Winterguard competition, we would come home to all the lights on.  It was like he was trying to light the entire hillside.  I’m the complete opposite.  I very rarely turn on lights and, when I do, it’s just a few to light my way.  When I leave a room, I’m the person that turns off the lights.  I prefer the dark, especially when I’m sleeping.  Now don’t get me wrong, I can fall asleep anywhere at any time of the day.  But I will admit, I have to turn my alarm clock away from me on my nightstand ’cause the numbers are too bright.  I can see pretty well in the dark, in fact, the sunshine sometimes hurts my eyes and makes them water.   You would think I have light colored eyes but, guess again, my eyes are brown.

Kyle was afraid of his JJ the Jet Plane costume. He thought he was going to fly away so I had to carry it around. (Costume courtesy of Aunt Nikki)

Last Wednesday, Kyle had to write a creative story for school and the theme was scary.  We both decided to lay on the floor when doing his homework and Kyle read me what he started.  He had a good introduction.  Then I asked him, “Well what happens next?” partially out of curiosity and partially to get  him thinking.  He said, “I don’t know?”

I never want to do Kyle’s homework for him.  I believe that’s a form of lying when a parent signs off on the work saying it’s the child’s, but in all reality it’s blatantly not.  Plus the bigger injustice is taking away the experience of figuring out the homework on their own.  Not to mention they are robbed of the education, which is why they are in school in the first place.  Now I also don’t believe in letting the student fend for themselves either.  I believe there is a balance that should happen to guide the child to think, helping them learn.  After all, parents, guardians, and mentors are coaches, helping to get them the tools to play the game, but not playing it for them.  This is one of those times I would have loved to take over and write the story.  But alas it was not my story and it was not my grade.

So, what’s the best way to get someone to think?  Yep, ask a question.  I kept trying to get Kyle to move the story forward, “Kyle what happened next? What color was the house? Describe the windows. What sounds did you hear?” et cetera et cetera.  He was doing really well, answering my questions and talking out the story before he wrote.  Then as the story progressed it gots scarier and scarier, keep in mind we are only at the second paragraph.  Kyle turns to me and said, “I can’t finish this, I’m too scared.”  I was taken back.  He actually was so into the story he was creating that he scared himself.  I said, “Kyle it’s your story, you can write it however you want.”  He said, “I know, but it’s scary and I’m more scared than most kids.”  O my Kyle, now this is where my patience has no understanding for such silliness, considering we were burning daylight and I had to get Kyle back so he could practice his trumpet, piano, and guitar before bedtime.  I said, “Come on Kyle just finish the story, you’re more than halfway done.”

Gigi and Kyle. He wasn't happy about his first Halloween outfit.

Just then I had to get up to go to the bathroom and he jumped up and said, “Where are you going?”  I said, “I have to go to the bathroom, keep working on the story.”  He said, “I’ll wait for you,” and he started to follow me to the bathroom.  Now keep in mind that the bathroom is in eyesight from where we were laying on the living-room floor.  I said, “Kyle just finish the story it’s getting late.”  He said, “But I’m scared.”  That kid waited by the door and talked to me until I came out.  Then I went into my office to grab another eraser in case we needed it and he was practically on top of me.

I finally managed to get him to finish the story.  He couldn’t handle a scary ending but he did put a twist in the story.  He had a character jump out and yell boo.  I remember him telling me his teacher did the same thing when she was reading them a story in class.  I guess that made a real impression on him.

Looking back on it now, I wonder if his general fear was my fault.  You see, when Kyle was barely able to walk, I would hide in corners of the house and jump out and scare him.  Not often, but sometimes if the mood struck me.  Being the mature one that I am (sarcasm) I would find his scared face and the way his whole body would stiffen up to be funny.  I only remember him crying once or twice but, afterwards, the shock of being scared would wear off, he would smile and I would chase  him around the house till I caught him and tickled him to the ground.  It seemed harmless at first until someone told me that a young child could have a heart attack if they are scared.  Yikes, so I stopped that immediately, although I still chased him around the house, even now-a-days.  Was it my fault?  I never did that with my brother.  So is being skittish a hereditary thing?  Is it from a strong imagination?  Or is it a learned action?  I bet it’s the latter, especially since I am remembering all the haunted corn mazes and hayrides I’ve done with Kyle.  I’ll explain those later.

This is my invariable advice to people: Learn how to cook — try new recipes, learn from your mistakes, be fearless, and above all have fun! ~Julia Child

Please have fun watching our introduction video to our soon to be launched cooking episodes.  These shows are my way of recording Kyle’s progression in growing, keeping family recipes and cooking techniques alive, and teaching Kyle to cook these recipes.  We are not chefs, but I do enjoy cooking and I love to Cook with Kyle. Enjoy!

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren’t certain we knew better.  They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death.  Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying.  ~George Bird Evans, Troubles with Bird Dogs

Two Saturday’s ago, Kyle and I helped my dad clean out the garage.  I’ll take this moment to explain that I didn’t help solely for the sake of helping, although I do love to organize and clean.  I wanted to make my way up to the attic above the garage to retrieve my mom’s grandma’s antique table.  You see, my cousin Mikey is really talented at building with wood.  That’s what he does for a living, building beautiful tables, benches, chairs, night stands etc.  He was going to do me a favor and refinish the table for my house.  I’ve always loved this round table made of solid oak and I wanted it restored back to its splendor. 

It was an unexpectedly nice and sunny day.  We let the dogs out to run around while we moved everything out of the garage into the driveway and went to work.  Unbeknownst to us, the dogs, Scooby and Seven, had other plans.  They were running around the yard for a while, then, like ninjas, they were gone without a trace.  Dad got the quad out, going around the hillside looking for them.  You see, we know they have a couple hang outs, including the dog at my uncle’s house and another neighbor’s field where their horse resides.  Nope, they broke habit.  So we figured they’d be back after they had enough running around.

While we were cleaning, Kyle would mention the dogs and say, “I wonder where they’re at?” and “I hope they’re ok.”  Probably about two hours later, Kyle looked down over the front yard into my uncle’s field and saw Thunder and Lightning (that’s sometimes what I call Scooby and Seven) run through the field up the hill to the neighbor’s house.  It looked like Milo and Otis on an adventure.  They wouldn’t come when we called them so I jumped on the quad and proceeded to partake in a high speed chase after the disobedient dogs.  Kyle followed me on foot and ran up the hill. It is quite a hill, about a quarter-of-a-mile straight up.  I was very surprised to see Kyle going after the dogs, especially RUNNING up a hill.  I got to the top and didn’t see them anywhere.  I called and looked for the dogs so I started back down where I ran into Kyle heading up.  I said, “I don’t see them buddy I’m going back to the house.”  He said, “I’ll go to the top and look for them, they’ll come for me.”  At that moment I could see the stress and worry Kyle was wearing for the dogs.  He was truly concerned.

Kyle playing with Scooby and Seven 9/2011

Once I got down to the house, dad took the quad up to another neighbor’s hoping to head Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid off at the pass.  Just as dad left, Scooby rounded the driveway, being tired and having enough.  Then I heard Kyle yelling from the top of the hill.  I ran up the hill and, low and behold, Kyle had Seven by the collar.  He said he didn’t want to drag him down the hill and hurt him.  So, I dragged him down the hill.  I was not happy.  On the walk back to the house Kyle kept saying, “At least they’re ok.” and “I’m glad we know they’re safe.”  Kyle also felt that I was hurting Seven’s neck by holding onto him walking down the hill.  I told Kyle, “Sometimes you have to have tough love, they need to be in trouble now so they know not to do this again.”  I explained that, “If they don’t know they were wrong, then they could get hurt running through the woods during hunting season.”  Kyle agreed, but you can tell he had sympathy for the future punishment of the dogs.

What really cracked me up was that  I made a sarcastic but slightly nervous prediction that, with my luck, I’d get stung by a bee bringing Seven back to the house.  Evidently, I’m now allergic to bees.  A few weeks ago I got stung in the arm through two T-shirts and a hoodie.  The stinger wasn’t left in my arm, but that entire week the site of the attack swelled up and spread down my arm.  Even better, I broke out in huge hives all over my body.  So within the last couple of years, I am now allergic to poison ivy and now bees.  All Kyle said about my comment/warning was, “Huh, I’m not allergic to bees Aunt Heather.  I’ve been stung and it just hurts a little.”  I guess all his worrying was dedicated to the dogs.  I couldn’t help but smile.

As we watched TV that night, the Sarah Malachlan commercial for animal cruelty came on.  Kyle, nearly in tears, put his head down and said, “Turn the channel pap pap, we can turn it back after this commercial is over.”  I never realized how much those commercials effected him.

Yep, I’ve said it and I’ll say it again, Kyle has a huge heart!  Especially for man’s best friend.

Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower. ~Steve Jobs

I think this is the start of something really big. Sometimes that first step is the hardest one, and we’ve just taken it. ~ Steve Jobs

…The crazy ones, we see genius, the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do. ~Steve Jobs

.. almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ~Steve Jobs

I was checking Kyle’s math homework when they interrupted the news saying that Steve Jobs had passed away.  To be honest, I was not expecting that, even though I knew he had health issues and I suspected he was not doing well.  I was speechless.  Kyle saw the breaking news headline and I know he saw my expression.  He immediately asked, “Who was that?”  My response was, “He was a very smart man – a legend.”  Then the news went into a snippet about Steve, his accomplishments, etc.  So Kyle, unfazed by the shocking news, started talking to me and I immediately shushed him up.  “Let me hear this, buddy.  I really can’t believe it.” And as they talked about his survivors,  his wife and four children, all I could muster was, “That poor family.”

At this point Kyle realized that this news means something to me.  He then asked, “Who was he?” Silly me, it never dawned on me that Kyle didn’t know who Steve Jobs was.  After I watched the tribute I turned to Kyle and said, “Honey, he was the inventor and CEO of Apple.”   Kyle gave me one of those sideways looks, like a dog does that makes them look so confused, but awfully cute.  I said, “Because of him, we have my iPhone, our iMac, my Macbook Pro…the iTouch…the one to help pixar off the ground.  You know, Toy Story, Cars….”  Then it hit him!  He understands those devices, using them pretty regularly. He said, “O I like playing my games on your phone Aunt Heather.”  O Kyle, I guess he is, after all, a ten year old boy.

That started Kyle talking about his “maybe” iTouch gift for Christmas.  He asked how many days there were till Christmas, knowing he is always excited about Christmas (for the wrong reasons).  He said, “I can’t wait to get my iTouch, Aunt Heather.”  I said “You think?”  He gave me this look of, ‘I know it’ and ‘Look how sweet I am, Aunt Heather’.  I said, “Only if you play your cards right.”  He looked so confused saying, “What cards?  What do you mean?”  I laughed and said, “It’s a figure of speak, it means you better be good.”

Then, in our ride back to Kyle’s house, my sister called and immediately I said, “What am I going to do if Apple goes downhill? What if my computer is never the same? I can’t start using a PC, it won’t be the same!”  As I briefly talked to my sister, I realized Kyle was listening because he all of a sudden blurted out, “It’s a good thing I downloaded my game on the PC.”  I started to laugh and said, “Kyle nothing is going to happen to the iMac since Steve died, the computers are all fine, your games are fine.  I am talking about the future of the company.”  Ahh again, a ten year old boy…

While in the car, he asked me, “What made him so great?”  Wow, that was a loaded question.  I said, “Honey, he was a rare person.  He was smart, innovative, persistent, and a true visionary.”  Kyle asked me what a visionary was and the only way I could explain it was probably lame but he got the point.  I said, “Some people have ideas, lots of ideas, but that’s it.  They sit on those ideas, either because they are not motivated, afraid to move forward, they’re lazy, or they just don’t know how to take those ideas and make them into something.  They are the people who sit back and are always saying, ‘I thought of that years ago.’  Then there are those people who do, they are task people.  You tell them what to do and how to do it and they get it done.  They really are not the idea people.  Both types are smart and have their place, but then there is a rare breed of individuals.  They are the ones who have the ideas and the vision and they know how to make it into something.  More than not, their ideas seem unrealistic and crazy at first.  They become true visionaries when they turn that idea into a reality.  They become a genius when they can turn their reality into a lifestyle.  And then you know they are an icon and household name when the evening news is interrupted by their passing.”

Thank you Steve Jobs. Rest in peace!

If I learn how to do it once, I certainly can d0 it again. ~Kyle Piper 10/1/11

Kyle's 8th Birthday Party with Chef Dato 7/2009

This past Saturday was a rainy, dreary day.  Most people would say  the weather was crappy and a total waste, but I say it was a perfect day to stay inside and do other activities.  Personally, I love cold, rainy days to catch up on books, cleaning, watching movies, and the list goes on and on.  Plus, if you look closely, you become presented with different opportunities that may not come into fruition if the scene was set for a different type of day.

On Saturday, Kyle decided he wanted eggs for breakfast.  Now, at our house we DO breakfast.  On the weekends, we have eggs, bacon, pancakes, biscuits and gravy, oatmeal, fish sandwiches, and sometimes a combination of an assortment.  Yes, I did say fish sandwiches.  My dad loves fish sandwiches for breakfast and it has become a staple in our household.  In fact, when I lived in Pittsburgh, I really missed fish sandwiches for breakfast with the fish caught from the old man himself.

Me and my buddy eating a sandwich, relaxing in front of the TV

So back to Kyle’s eggs.  He wanted his Egg Sandwich Spectacular, something my mom thought up to get veggies into Kyle’s diet.  But alas, we didn’t have the ingredients to add to Kyle’s inspired dish, desperately in need of groceries.  So I told him, “Let’s just make an egg sandwich.”  Simply, it’s fried eggs with the yoke broken (not scrambled) and placed on slightly buttered bread or toast. I put ketchup on mine.  Narrow agreed and I told him to get the skillet and spatula ready.  Then I turned to Kyle and said, “Why don’t you make your own eggs?” He said, “But what if I ruin the eggs? I don’t want to waste them.” I said, “How else are you ever going to learn?  You can only learn so much from watching us, besides, I’ll eat the eggs you won’t eat.”  He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Umm ok, if I learn how to do it once, I certainly can do it again.  But will you help me?”  I smiled and said, “You got it!”

Kyle did a great job!  He started asking everyone in the house if they wanted eggs.  He was on a roll and was enjoying his new found knowledge. Of course, Kyle always did cook with me and mom, so it wasn’t a foreign concept.  But he knew this time he was on his own, so to speak.  I was in the kitchen watching him, but I didn’t stand over his shoulder at the stove.  I sat in front of the computer in the corner of the kitchen, knowing he’d be fine.   When he needed my help he came and asked me.  Over the years, I’ve always reinforced the rules of the kitchen with Kyle and he takes rules very seriously.  It’s against his nature to intentionally break the rules.  In fact, Kyle washed his hands before beginning. I didn’t have to say a word.

Aunt Nikki holding our hungry little man at Chad's wedding 2002

Kyle was so excited about his egg making abilities, he told us he would make us eggs before church the following day.  And you know what?  He did just as he promised.  Then, speaking of fish earlier, mom was going to make fish for lunch. Kyle ran to his Gigi and asked if he could help.  My mom walked him through her process of making my dad’s fish.  He did ask if pappy caught these fish and I said, “Ya, he caught the fish in the frozen food isle of the grocery store.”  Narrow really knows my humor.  He gave me a half-cocked smile and went back to work.  I heard him say to my dad, “Pappy, I’m making the fish!”  My dad said, “That’s great buddy, and next I’ll show you how to make deer steaks.”  Boy was Kyle excited!

On a side note, Kyle told me on Sunday about his weekend accomplishments.  He said he learned to make eggs and fish, he finished reading his Harry Potter book (The Chamber of Secrets), and he downloaded and played Lego Universe, evidently he made it to space ranger and he has two dogs, a cat, and a bunny in Lego form on the game.

What seemed like a wasted day, I think, turned out to be a life long lesson for Kyle.  It’s amazing what a little guidance and freedom can do for a child.  It was kinda tough for me to step back and let Kyle take over, but it was a good lesson for us both!  Kyle’s right, now that he’s done it once, he can certainly do it again!

Caring for our seniors is perhaps the greatest responsibility we have. Those who walked before us have given so much and made possible the life we all enjoy.  ~John Hoeven

Kyle is always thinking. His heart strings are connected to me and my family without a doubt.  After swimming last week we were watching the news while I re-heated the meatloaf.  On a side note, I love it that Kyle wants to turn on the news.  He likes engaging in discussions with me while watching.  I believe he is learning and processing current events.  In fact, sometimes he’ll come up to me and say, “Hey Aunt Heather did you hear about” this or that.

Dad, Kyle, and mom- troublesome trio! Hanging at Idlewild 2004

This past week on the news, they were talking about the listeria epidemic found in cantaloupes.  They went on to say how it was more dangerous than E Coli and salmonella.  I heard this earlier in the week but, from Kyle’s ghost white expression, I could tell this was the first time he heard about listeria.

You see, my dad loves cantaloupes and recently I’ve seen him get on a kick of eating them all the time, at least when I saw him on the weekends.  So it was no surprise when the first person Kyle thought of was his pap pap.  He turned to me and said, “O no Aunt Heather, Pap pap loves cantaloupes!”  I said, “Yes he does, but if he was going to get sick, he would have gotten it by now.”  Well, just to prove me wrong, at that exact moment the news said it could take up to a month or so for the listeria to show up.  Then I said, “Honey, that was in Colorado.”  And as if on cue, they pulled up a map showing all the states that the cantaloupe was distributed.  Of course Pennsylvania was on the list and Kyle saw it instantly.  He said, “Look Aunt Heather Pennsylvania is on the list!”

Kyle grabbed my phone and said, “I’m going to call pappy to let him know.”  He dialed as he spoke, showing his sense of urgency.  He got to talk to my mom and I think my dad.  That helped to put him at ease until we saw them over the weekend.

Do all children watch the news and if they do, do they understand it?  Is this common for a child to link something like this to a family member?  Maybe it’s just Kyle or every kid, but I know Kyle is bright and to realize that my dad could have been affected is amazing.  Of all things, he associates my dad with eating cantaloupes.

What You Need to Know About Listeria

15 Infected With Listeria After Eating Cantaloupes

There are a lot of other articles concerning listeria.  I just grabbed a few for reference.

Memory is a child walking along a seashore.  You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.  ~Pierce Harris

Kyle with his turtle, Tommy - once we set him free Kyle never forgot about him!

You know it never ceases to amaze me, the memory of a child, that is.  During church last Sunday, I told Kyle that I will be asking him the message of the readings.  You see, the catholic church always has a reading from the old testament, one from the new testament and the reading from the Gospel.  With all of these readings, there is an overall message or theme to be learned.  After the readings, the priest talks about them and gives examples to make the message clear, bringing it to reality.  I never expect Kyle to understand the message fully, but I do expect him to at least listen and try.  I would be happy if he could tell me the story recited from the priest.

However, after church that Sunday, nothing.  Kyle was in a mood, he kept adjusting his underpants, slouched in church and was leaning on everything.  He was just being difficult.  When we left, I asked him what the message was and what did the priest talk about.  His response was, “I don’t know.” He proceeded to get defensive and say, “How am I suppose to remember?”  I was mad!  It’s not like this was a surprise, I normally try to take a few minutes after church and discuss the readings with him anyway, and he usually gets part of the message, if not all of it.  I know I should have reiterated what was taught at that moment, but he was in such a mood that I knew reviewing it with him would have opened a door for him to whine and insist he didn’t know what I was talking about, causing more anger.  So I did what any parent would have done, and I grounded him from the computer and video games.

Kyle always played hard at Seabase.

He knew he messed up cause all night he pouted and walked with his head down.  Even when I tried to talk to him he just stayed in his own self pity.  It has been my experience with Kyle not to baby him and let him work this out on his own.

As I watched him in his self-loving, I reminded him that it’s not his memory that’s the problem.  He said, “Ya, Aunt Heather I just don’t remember.”  He went on to say, “I don’t know why I don’t remember things.”  I clearly said, “That’s a bunch of crap and you know it.”  He did give a slight sideways grin that I did not miss.

Kyle loved running around Seabase without shoes.

It’s funny what kids remember.  You know, they say you can never guarantee what a child remembers and what they pick up on and remember forever.  It’s true!  In fact, I was talking to my mom and she mentioned we need another bag of dog food. I said, “Your kidding? I just bought that huge bag of dog food. Did the boys (whom we refer to as Scooby and Seven) eat the entire bag already?”  Mom informed me they were close. I said in disbelief, “You  mean to tell me they ate an entire bag of 20 something pounds of dog food in a few weeks?”  Just then Kyle butted in saying, “It was 38 pounds Aunt Heather.”  I laughed and said, “How do  you know the bag was 38 pounds?”  He said, “Cause I remember reading the bag.”  I must say, shamefully I doubted him and said, “You don’t know how much the bag weighed!”  He said, “Yes I do!”  I wanted proof.  So  we walked back the hallway and read the bag where it clearly stated 38lbs.  I said, “Umm, you were right.  How did you remember that?”  He said, “I don’t know, I just did.  It’s numbers Aunt Heather and you know how good I am at numbers.”  I guess so.  But what really cracks me up is that he doesn’t remember me taking him ice-skating as a kid, but he remembers the poundage of the dog food bag.

Kyle never forgot to tell Santa everything he wanted for Christmas.

Then a week later, out of nowhere, Kyle said to me, “Remember the time the ambulance came to the house cause your tummy hurt?”  He proceeded to say, “I didn’t even wake up. I was fast asleep.”  I was speechless with shock.  He wasn’t even awake when that happened.  You see, I have cysts over my ovaries and sometimes they rupture, which is so painful that I pass out.  That was the morning of his fifth birthday party at Seabase.  What really strikes me, he doesn’t really remember the birthday party, but he remembers overhearing us talking about the ambulance?  While in the car, Kyle did ask me what happened and I tried to explain it in general terms, making sure he was aware that I was alright.

Why does it seem like children remember things that they shouldn’t?  Are they more impacted by bad things rather than good?  Do bad memories overtake good memories?