Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.  ~Kevin Arnold

Kyle sitting on his bed in his room (Ryan’s old room) with the quilt I made him out of Ryan T-shirts & flannels 2002

You know it’s funny how time flies.  It might sound cliché, but it’s so very true.  I can’t believe Kyle will be twelve years old in seven days, July 30, 2001!  I was there when he was born and I pushed his dad out of the way to let me hold my perfect little nephew.  True story.  I really wanted to hold the baby and Ryan said, “I want to hold him.”  Followed by me working the bundle into my arms and Ryan giving me his ornery grin.  I think it was more of joy and happiness than irritation, but Ryan gave in to let me hang with my future buddy.

Over the years, even long before the birth or our little man “stuff” seems to get collected.  Sometimes you’re not sure why you have all this “stuff” and sometimes you know very well why it’s kept, for simple sentimental reasons.  Regardless, that “stuff” does carry a bit of history with it and me being a history buff, I love to preserve history.

Ryan passed away on October 23, 2001.  Naturally, his “stuff” was kind of pushed into closets and stacked in corners.  No one really wanted to deal with it at the moment, or even months later.  Some of the piles included Ryan’s cloths, mostly his T-shirts and flannels, the staple of his wardrobe.

The majority of his attire was purchased by yours truly as gifts for Ryan.  Every time he changed the oil in my car, rotated the tires, cut the rotors, changed the windshield wipers, (the list goes on and on), I would repay him with cloths, since Ryan never accepted money from me.  Never!  It was a win win because Ryan didn’t really purchase himself cloths,.  So I took it upon myself to dress him in exchange for all is work.  He would graciously accept the articles of clothing, especially the jeans.

Tight shot of Kyle’s quilt, while it was being made. Those are all of Ryan’s T-shirts & flannels! 2002

You see Ryan was a tall lean beanpole, a strong one at that, still thin.  His jeans, which had to be Levi’s, needed to measure 29 x 34.  Do you know how hard it was to find those?  So every time I was in the store, I would raid the men’s jeans department in search for Ryan’s jeans.  This saved him the trouble of trying to find them himself,  a real scavenger hunt!

Yes, so all my shopping for Ryan, eventually made their way to untouched sad piles of fabric with an unknown future.  No matter how simple it may sound, those pieces of clothing showed their history and was a part of Ryan, every stain, every tear, every wrinkle, every shirt logo.   I mean, the shirts literally showed Ryan’s likes and interests, almost like they were a living ghost of Ryan laid before our eyes.  Some of the T-shirts were so worn out you could tell they were his favorites.  Now what?  What do I do those these simple treasures?

I had a lot of help with the final assembly of this massive quilt. Holly (Quilts by Reese) is in the lower right corner with her back turned, hard at work! Her soon to be husband to her right. 2002

Over the months of healing after Ryan’s passing, I held onto these small memories, which I had no idea what to do with.  I mean, I wasn’t going to wear them, but on the other hand it would have broken my heart to give them away or worse, trash them.  What to do?  What to do?   Then, my friend Christina, yes the same one I would run around like a bee and press cloths with our bums, (Gotta Dance!)  came to me and presented the best idea I have EVER heard!  She said, “I know what you can do with your brothers cloths!  Turn them into a quilt!”  Brilliant!!  Sincerely, the presented solution was like gold to my ears and for a brief moment, I remembered how to be happy.   Joy filled me and I couldn’t wait to share this revelation with my family.  I knew they were going to love the idea as much as I did.  And you know what?  They DID!

At the time, I don’t think Christina knew what that idea meant to me and my family.  Being in a state of loss, confusion and grief, any small ray of light was most welcome and needed!  Now, where to begin?  You see I never made a quilt before.  In fact, at the time I didn’t even have a sewing machine.

Kyle playing on the pillow I made him out of the extra fabric from the curtains I made, sitting next to the quilt made out of his dad’s T-shirts & flannels, given for his 1st birthday. 2002

Problem solved.  That Christmas my family bought me a sewing machine.  Like I said, they were excited about the future quilt.  Now I have the equipment, what do I do with it?

Over the years, I’ve sewn Halloween costumes, hemmed pants, and such, but never a blanket and certainly not a quilt.  Well, me being me, I decided to take on the challenge and make it my spring project.  It was now a mission to complete it and give it to Kyle for his first birthday.

It took me months to cut everything out.  On a side note, to actually begin cutting into these priceless T-shirts almost made me sick, but it needed to be done to get to the final goal.  Yet, it was hard.  Once I decide how I wanted the T-shirts laid out and how I wanted to incorporate the flannel shirts, then I painstakingly sowed each piece to the next to create smaller shapes.  Then, those smaller shapes turned into larger shapes until it started resembling a quilt.

Kyle’s full quilt, gave it to him for his 1st birthday. Loved how it turned out! Kyle’s dad’s T-shirts & flannels. 2002

All along the way I will admit, it became very therapeutic.  Sitting there by myself sewing for hours, holding onto pieces of Ryan actually made me feel better.  I’m not sure if it’s because I had such an intimate relationship with some of those shirts beforehand, or I was able to put my self in a different mindset, but the hard work gave me hope that things will be fine.  Never better, just different and manageable, and more importantly Ryan would never be forgotten.  Similar to writing in my blog.  Still neither are like holding Ryan’s son, the closest most dearest part of Ryan we still have.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, this perceived small project turned into a king size quilt!  Yes I didn’t have the heart to omit certain T-shirts, they were all so dear to Ryan.  To be honest, the final quit was actually larger than a king size.  On another note, I didn’t know that until I was pretty much done.  I kind of kept going and going, deep in thought until I reached the final edges of the quilt.

Holsters, Kyle’s Aunt Hot Dogs, playing with a 6 month old Kyle. 1/2002

Throughout the process, many of my friends helped me with the assembly of the quilt and supplied their opinions and advice, especially my friend Holly (Holsters).  Ironically, she now sews quilts, specializing in T-shirt quilts, as a side job.  Her quilts are far more superior than my creation.  Maybe I should have let her help more with my project.  She really has a talent with quilting, check her creations out on Facebook .  Her quilts are even sold internationally!

The quilt was by all means not perfect, not in the slightest, but that blanket was made with all my LOVE!  It was made to give a piece of my brother to his son for his first birthday.  It was made to preserve Ryan in a visual piece for the entire family to appreciate.

During the duration of the assembly, my place looked like a sweat shop. Literally!  Sitting on a stool in front of my sewing machine for hours upon hours, trying to get all the puzzle pieces together to resemble a bed covering, while maintaining the integrity of the fabric, was not an easy task.  I had stacks upon stacks of cut fabric and piles of miscellaneous remnants.  What drove me?  Kyle’s birthday deadline.

To give me an extra challenge, the end of May that year, I went on a cruise with a bunch of friends and than two weeks before Kyle’s birthday, I was in Korea.  Yes, I was competing in the World Haidong Gumdo Championships (samurai sword).  As part of my very memorable trip, I also trained and toured sections of the peninsula.  Great experience, even though I was completely off the grid and missing my little man so much!

Close up of Kyle’s quilt that I made for his 1st Birthday out of his dad’s T-shirts & flannels. 2002

Unfortunately, because of the timing of my Korean trip, I couldn’t give the long anticipated gift to Kyle on his actual birthday.  Believe it or not, that broke my heart, even though I know he would never know or care.  If I’m recalling correctly, I think I got home the day after his official birthday, but as soon as I got off of the plane and mom picked me up, we took a detour to head straight to see Kyle before heading home.  Even before I stopped to get some American food back in my system, we made a beeline to see my little man, who was already a year old.  Officially I gave him the quilt that weekend.

Kyle’s very first birthday gift from me was a homemade king sized quit, made from my very own fingers from his dad’s wardrobe.  I guess in a way, the blanket was from his dad too!

I’m really blessed to have gone through this exercise of making a quilt.  I’ve never made one since and I never plan on it.  After all, I have  to do that!  But I certainly do cherish the work I put into it and appreciate the opportunity to clear my mind.  Plus, I hope one day, Kyle will realize just how much he meant to me from day one, for me go through all that trouble and effort to make him a quilt straight from his dad, for his very first birthday.  In a way, that blanket started the tradition of giving Kyle unconventional gifts!

I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.  ~Johnny Depp

A few years ago, Kyle and I attended the movies and naturally while waiting for the paid entertainment of choice, we were forced to watch a slew of movie trailers, one promoting a Johnny Depp movie.  I think it was Dark Shadows but I truly can’t remember.  Anyway, what threw me for a loop, was Kyle’s response to said trailer.  After he saw it showcased the premiere actor Johnny Depp, Kyle said, “Ooooh Johnny Depp!  I like him, he’s a pretty good actor.”  I just smiled.  That was such a funny and unexpected comment to jump out of Kyle’s mouth.  I didn’t even know he knew who Johnny Depp was, let alone liked him!  Although, at this point in my life, I should be acutely aware of Kyle’s attention to detail and observation.  Not to mention he’s a big fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and I’m a fan of the quirky actor myself, probably commenting on Johnny Depp a time or two.

Soon after that instance, every now and again, the Johnny Depp conversation would make its appearance.  Usually, due to another movie to re-spark Kyle’s interest.  He’s always commented, “I think Johnny Depp is funny.” or “Johnny Depp’s a good actor.” or “Does Johnny Depp always wear weird make-up?”  Then, usually after making Johnny Depp new again, Kyle usually finishes the conversation with, “Umm I should watch the Pirates of the Caribbean again!”  One of his stables, along with the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

As the conversation makes its usual progression, it shifts slightly and Kyle tries to recall all the Johnny Depp movies.  Like he’s ever heard of Cry Baby or Platoon, but I enjoy the direction and the challenge of our interaction.  A neat exercise that includes Pirates of the Caribbean, Alice in Wonderland, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Rango.  Then, I help Kyle recall a few of my favorites like, Sleepy Hallow (the headless horseman is one of my favorite Halloween stories) and Finding Neverland.  Being slightly older than my little man, I am able to recall a few more movies he’s never seen or has even heard of such as, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Chocolat, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,  Thrashin’, and Edward Scissorhands (another one of my favorites).  Let’s not forget the show and the movie (yes he made a cameo at the end of the movie).  There are many more, but those are the ones that stand out in my head and seem to make the list within our discussions.

So I guess to answer Kyle’s initial question, “Does Johnny Depp always wear that weird make-up?”, the answer is no, he does not and he doesn’t always play funny.  Although I think he does silly well!

Two weeks ago, before the ‘Aunt Nikki and Kyle’s Week of Fun’, I took Kyle to see Despicable Me 2.  What do you think flashed across the big screen?  Yep!  Johnny Depp in The Lone Ranger.  We both agreed that, that movie was on our list of must sees.  Although that lucky little bugger went to see The Lone Ranger with my sister when they were in New Hampshire, on their road-trip tour of the New England States.   Only that kid!  When I asked him if he liked the movie, he said “Umm good.”  At least that’s as much enthusiasm I get from him for anything other than Legos. So it must been pretty good.

Kyle likes the roles Johnny Depp plays.  As do I, but I also have grown up with him on the big screen.  Once I saw an interview, well let’s face it I’ve seen many interviews involving Johnny Depp over the years, but this one brought a smile to my face.  Pretty recently he was talking about his kids.  He said he loved taking his son Jack to school, but his son was not happy about the arrangement.  I had the same situation with Kyle.  Kyle would let me drop him off, but I was no longer allowed to walk him inside and certainly not to his classroom.  Forget about giving me a hug and Lord forbid a smooch on the cheek!  Johnny Depp had the same situation.  That entire conversation cracked me up!  It brought Johnny Depp out of the spotlight and into common reality.  During the interview, he was not a superstar celebrity but a dad who enjoyed hanging out and being a part of his kids’ life.  It was refreshing!

His little boy Jack had no idea who his dad is and he certainly had no idea who his dad is to the rest of the world.  Makes you realize that you never truly know what you have.  Instead of showing off his dad or really playing up the hype, Jack was pushing him away like any other child of his age.

I read another story on how Johnny’s daughter was really sick and in the hospital.  To repay the facility and those who took care of her, besides donating a million dollars to the hospital, he also visited the sick kids.  Not as Johnny Depp, but as Captain Jack Sparrow!  He spent most of the day walking around and reading to the kids as the famous captain himself.  Too cool!  What a way to give back!

Funny story.  Once, years ago when I had Kyle up to the Foggy Goggle at Seven Springs Ski Resort while snowboarding, we passed by a larger than human sized Captain Morgan statue.  Kyle turned to me and pointed saying, “Look Aiya, Captain Jack Sparrow!”   Too cute and too funny.  I just encouraged his thought.  Besides, he doesn’t need to know about the Captain Morgan Rum Pirate, at least not yet.

Maybe one day Kyle and I would be able to meet this intriguing actor, whom we both are fans.  More than that, I’m just hoping Johnny Depp keeps his nose clean, at least in the eyes of the news.  I would hate for Kyle to be disappointed by the actions of someone he admires.

Aunt
She isn’t my mother.
She isn’t my sister.
She’s one of the family
Who’s more like a friend.
Aunt
She has fun with me,
laughs with me,
listens to me, encourages me.
Aunt
She spends time with me,
believes in me,
shares with me, cheers for me.
Aunt
She understands me like a mother.
She’s there for me like a sister.
And perhaps best of all –
she loves me like a friend. ~Kimberly Rinchart

Me & Kyle at Idlewild for the Gutchess Picnic

My little man, what else can I say? I’ve reviewed how Kyle resembles my brother – his dad, my sister – his Aunt Nikki, my dad – his pappy, and my mom – his Gigi. There are a lot of cross over similarities and yet there are some traits that are distinctly a particular person.

Does Kyle resemble me at all? He sure does! Yes it’s true, Kyle is more of the engineering mind, but he is also a rare bread, complete with innovation, a strong personality, social skills and a  business visionary.

Obviously, Kyle’s physical traits don’t really resemble mine much. I will admit we do have the same type of skin, at least at this point in his life.  Also our noses.  We both have the perfect button noses.  A trait I’ve claimed as ours.  As for all other physical traits, you can’t even tell he’s related to me, our body types are different.  We don’t stand the same, or walk the same, and our outward presentations are not similar, not in the slightest.  If we talk about personality traits, now we’re getting somewhere!

As a baby just learning to walk, Kyle was always very structured.  What I mean is that everything had to be perfectly aligned.  Perfectly!  Kyle loved his Matchbox Cars, literally having hundreds of them. He would take the cars out one-by-one, examine them, and then line them up on the coffee table in rows. Every car was facing the same direction, front bumper to back, in perfect lines, until the entire coffee table was covered in Matchbox Cars.  That’s all he would do until it was time to put them away. Well, except if I was being ornery.

Me & Kyle screwing around with my sunglasses 11/18/03

Once when Kyle was nearly finished placing the cars, I waited for the perfect time for him to look away to retrieve another car.  I took my foot and pushed the coffee table over so the cars slid off and all landed on the floor. I know it sounds mean, but the look on his face was hilarious!  He was first in complete shock like he just witnessed an earthquake for his cars.  Then, as he noticed my foot still on the evidence, a complete realization of what just happened settled in.  His nose crinkled, his face soured, and he came over to me and begin to push my foot off the side of the table saying “No Aiya! No!”  Making it very clear that this was no acceptable behavior.  He looked like my sister when she gets angry with me!  I know, it’s not nice to tease, but it’s good to shake things up with these engineers.  Keeps it real.

Kyle not only aligned his cars but also his juice boxes in the refrigerator.  They had to be right side-up, facing front in a perfect line on the shelf. Let me tell you about convenience stores. If I would extract a bottle of water from inside the cooler, Kyle would realign the bottles making sure all the labels were facing out.  If the second bottle didn’t slide down to the front, then Kyle would help it along.  Bystanders that have actually witnessed this behavior, smiled at the precious narcissistic little boy.  I will admit, I tend to have the same disposition, everything orderly, tidy and aligned.  I do notice details, as does Kyle, and sometimes the smallest things drive me crazy.  Although, Kyle tends to be very selective with his details and neatness.  He is not always consistent but the natural tendencies are certainly there.

Granted as Kyle grows and as he is presented with different situations, he shows traits from all of us, including his business mind. Not everyone has the ability to be structured and think out of the box and use forward thinking.  My brother had a business mind, as does my dad and both equally have the work ethic to accompany such talents.  I do believe I possess these traits as well, similar to Kyle.  He has this unique thinking of setting and accomplishing goals and the ability to understand the idea of profit while maintaining the integrity of business.  A regular businessman.  How do I know?  I’m not just making a broad statement.  He has proved it through the interaction and assistance of my company The Piper Corporation (Thrill of the Hunt, SpyRing).  Yes with the little involvement he has had, he has shown me all these traits.  He is also a natural leader and he knows how to (and does without any quorums) delegate.  Once I teach him to properly follow up and address everyone with respect, and learn how to really utilize resources, he will be a force to reckon with.  I just hope I am able to instill a good work ethic and appropriate business practices with good moral intentions.

Me & Kyle at Idlewild… he is always a lot of fun at every age!  I love his perfectly round head!

Kyle’s people skills are pretty impressive!  He knows how to use his manners and speak directly to others.  Granted, sometimes he is a bit too direct, but like me, I love the candor and tend to steer in that direction.  Again as he matures, I can see his social skills tightening up and sharpening.  He already knows how to work a crowd to get their attention and to get what he wants, similar to his Aunt Heather.

As much as Kyle thinks, and he is a thinker, he forgets to think equally as much.  This behavior tends to get us both in sticky situations.

We both love to fish and I will admit, like Kyle, if I’m doing something I like, I want to perfect it and practice beforehand. Story time! Once when I was in elementary school, probably a little younger than Kyle is now, I decided to go outside and take advantage of the nice day and practice casting my fishing pole.  At the time mom had a dogwood tree in the middle of the yard.  Why is this relevant?  Because as I repeatedly cast my pole, I would caught a branch and have to pull my line out.  One would think that I would have just moved away from the tree, after all I had an entire yard.  But nope, I stood my ground until I cast my line in the top of the tree and couldn’t pull it out.   Yikes!  I didn’t know what to do.  Naturally the smart thing to do would have to cut the line.  Not me!  Instead I decreased the slack on the line and pulled the entire pole toward the top of the tree.  Yes, I let the fishing pole hang there in the dogwood tree.  Later that day, when dad came home from work, he noticed it instantly and asked no one in particular, in a very even toned voice, “Why is there a fishing pole in the tree?” I said, “I was practicing my casting and it got stuck.”  Nonchalantly dad replied, “Well don’t you think you better get it out?”  I knew I should, but for the life of me I didn’t realize at the time, breaking the line was an option, that is until weeks later when dad did just that.

Me & Kyle rocking the night away at Chad’s Wedding

Sometimes Kyle goes on his one track-mind and doesn’t bother to open his eyes to those around him.  I’m sure this will change as he grows, after all he is a sincere caring kid.  He is not malicious in anyway.  Although, I do the same, but it’s only because my mind is usually focused on other things, probably similar to Kyle’s.  At this point in his life, I would put my life on it, that it’s Legos!  Over the years, I can’t even tell you how many people would say they saw me, and I NEVER saw them.  Even if I walked right past them.  This happens a lot when I’m driving.  Hopefully, I’m concentrating on road, although I’m guessing my mind is wondering elsewhere, but not towards Legos.

Kyle’s a dreamer too.  Not just uses his imagination, which he totally does, but he is a visionary.  He always creates these grandiose ideas of how something should be, or how it will be or how it’s going to unfold.  I tend to be that dreamer too.  But I do believe that’s a great quality to have, especially being an entrepreneur.  Dreaming big is never a bad thing, just failure to act on it is.

There are so many more comparisons including the love of snow!  We both enjoy sled-riding, snowboarding and the crisp cool days.  Neither one of us like to be hot and we certainly don’t enjoy sweating, even though he does more than me.

We both love to cook and to experiment with ingredients.  Maybe more me than Kyle, but we love to try new foods and learn and understand different culture.

And like the rest of the family, there is one trait we all posses besides believing in God.  I don’t mean to omit the big Guy because to me that’s a standard, however I’m learning it’s not the case with most people.  But this time I’m talking about TRAVELING!  We are all equally intrigued by the rest of the world, new sights and the sense of adventure.  None of us has ever been afraid to explore and my parents have always encouraged this behavior.  Which speaking of, this week is ‘Aunt Nikki and Kyle’s Week of Fun!’  They are doing a road trip tour of the New England States.  How fun!  Next trip, I’m going to sneak my way in on the action!

I guess Kyle is a little bit of each of us, making him the perfect mix!  He’s a little bit country and a little bit rock n’ roll.  (That’s for mom’s benefit!)

Read the complete list of comparisons

Who Does Kyle Favor More, His Dad?
Who Does Kyle Favor More, Pappy?
Who Does Kyle Favor More, Aunt Nikki?
Who Does Kyle Favor More, Gigi?

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again,
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock,
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline,
Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan,
“Wheel of Fortune”, Sally Ride, heavy metal suicide,
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz,
Hypodermics on the shore, China’s under martial law,
Rock and roller cola wars, I can’t take it anymore … ~Billy Joel

The other day I heard a song on the radio, an instant blast from the past, We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel.  It was a song that dealt with over 100 different headlining topics in the world, taking place from January 1949 up until 1989 when the song was released.

Believe it or not, I remember my teacher actually dissecting that song to teach us the meaning of the lyrics.  To this day, I still remember some of our conversations based on the catchy pop song and my overwhelming understanding of the topics sang, only when we reviewed it line by line in detail.  After all, that exercise helped me realize the complexity of the world around us, at least to my young mind at the time.  Really an eye opener!

Now jumping to present day.  Are we that much different?  More civilized?  More responsible?  Did we as people learn lessons of the past?  Personally, I don’t think so.  In fact, I believe we are worse off.  I believe we are far more removed from reality.  I believe our morals and values have been skewed and have gone astray.  However, being an optimist at heart, I also see the pockets of those trying to uphold family values, those trying to maintain the virtues of our youth, those fighting for what’s right.

Watching the news is a part of my daily routine, like many others, but lately I kind of want to omit that part of the my day.  It seems that there is something majorly tragic happening everyday, and I’m not just talking about natural disasters that are unavoidable.  Believe it or not, I am ‘The Glass is Half Full’ type of chick, I also believe there is more good in the world than evil.  However, holding onto that notion and keeping the faith can be a bit challenging, especially with the persuasion being pelted at us from every direction.  It’s hard to decipher the truth, what’s real.

But what really cracks me up, are certain subject matters and decisions being made that are blatantly wrong, yet they are debated like its a topic residing in the gray zone.  No need for discussions, no need for votes, no need to for leniency, it’s just plain wrong! It’s at this point where I get aggravated when those responsible for doing harm to others and to our country are not manning up and taking responsibility and helping to find a solution to the problem at hand.  We are all human, I get that.  And being human we were blessed with freewill and the freedom to choose between right and wrong.  Therefore, making mistakes is going to be a part of our nature, yet it is not acceptable to dodge the wrong we’ve done.  It is not acceptable to lie about it.  It is not acceptable to force others to believe it’s right, especially to justify ones own actions.

With my rant out of the way, what the heck am I talking about?  I’m talking about Benghazi, where people died because of a lack of concern and reaction from the United States; I’m talking about the IRS, and their blatant targeting of conservative business owners to financially cripple them to steer votes; I’m talking about the house of horrors from doctor abortion, Kermit Gosnell who murdered a pregnant women, many infants and performed many abortions; I’m talking about Jodi Arias, and the cold blooded murder of her boyfriend; I’m talking about Trayvon Martin and the Zimmerman case, where George Zimmerman is on trial for second degree murder.

Too much!  Not just in the United States, but all around the world!  It is our duty to look out for each other and avoid those who cause harm.  Yes!  It is absolutely wrong to support leaders of countries who perform genocide, require abortions, and just plain throw around their muscle, their desire for power.

We as a society need to get back to the basics, get back to family, get back to respect and get back to simpler way of life.  This doesn’t mean getting rid of the internet or our phones.  Nope that would be like saying eliminating our guns.  The objects are not the weapons, the user and their intent is the weapon.  Start with education, start with learning and teaching respect, it all starts with family.  After all isn’t that just plain common sense?

Think about it, our society over the years has become more free with our decisions of what’s right and what’s wrong.  We have become less “uptight” and more liberal in our thinking and our actions.  We have looked to ourselves first and satisfied selfish desires instead of thinking of our neighbor and the consequences of our actions.  We are so free to dodge responsibility and look to instant results, no matter the long-term effects.  We want the easy way and not the right way.  We may not have started the fire, the war has been going on for centuries, but are we that more civilized today than we were two thousand years ago?

Actually, I don’t think so and this war that is raging is harder to fight and harder to extinguish the fire, it’s the war from within.   Seriously, the processed food, the chemicals, the hormones, the drugs and all the garbage we put into our systems, it’s not wonder our brains are miss firing!  Are we even thinking straight?  Then add on top of that, broken homes and omittance of family structure and discipline.  Then, topping it off with greed, arrogance and selfishness.  Yep a recipe for complete destruction.

I’m running out of answers for my little man.  If society continues on this path, then what’s the world going to be like for Kyle when he’s my age?  All I hope, is that he has learned right from wrong and holds true to the Catholic teachings (I’m not saying actions because again we are all human, whether you are church goer or not, whether you are apart of the clergy or not).  Hopefully by then, family life will have been restored and we will have entered a day of light.

We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel Lyrics

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray,
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio,
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe,
Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, “The King and I” and “The Catcher in the Rye”
Eisenhower, vaccine, England’s got a new queen,
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye
[Refrain] We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc,
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron,
Dien Bien Phu falls, “Rock Around the Clock”
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn’s got a winning team,
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland,
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev,
Princess Grace, “Peyton Place”, trouble in the Suez
[Refrain]
Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac,
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, “Bridge on the River Kwai”
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball,
Starkweather homicide, children of thalidomide,
Buddy Holly, “Ben Hur”, space monkey, Mafia,
Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go,
U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy,
Chubby Checker, “Psycho”, Belgians in the Congo,
[Refrain]
Hemingway, Eichmann, “Stranger in a Strange Land”
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion,
“Lawrence of Arabia”, British Beatlemania,
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson,
Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex,
JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say?
[Refrain]
Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again,
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock,
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline,
Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan,
“Wheel of Fortune”, Sally Ride, heavy metal suicide,
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz,
Hypodermics on the shore, China’s under martial law,
Rock and roller cola wars, I can’t take it anymore
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on
[Refrain]
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful.  One moment you’re just a mother.  The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.  ~Pam Brown

Mom & Kyle 8/12/01

Gigi and her Kyle.  When there needs to be a negative comparison it’s usually between these two, for those seemingly unfavorables, appear to stand out.  Yet there is more than meets the eye.

Kyle has always pointed out that he shares Gigi, his Aunt Nikki and his dad’s blue eyes.  I was told, “Ya not you Aunt Heather, you and pappy have brown eyes.”  Yes that’s certainly true, but I didn’t realize his blue eyes made him royalty.   Regardless, Kyle does have really pretty blue eyes and I’m glad that is a shared trait between him, his dad, his Gigi and his Aunt Nikki.

Does Kyle and Gigi both share their aversion for physical activity?  You bet they do!  Even so much as to mope around with their heads down when they have to do a little bit of work, or walk an extra two feet.  It’s complete torture for them.  They both drive me crazy when it comes to that.  Do they both like to complain?  Again, a big YES!  It’s actually kind of funny.  When neither one wants to do something or they disagree, they sort of grunt and make noises.  Dad calls it “Letting the air out of the tires.”  Just to share in this trait, so does Aunt Nikki.

Is that all the similarities between mom and Kyle?  Nope, not even close.  Even though he tends to favor my sister more, and there is no secret that Nicole and mom are a lot alike too, sometimes too much, Kyle did pick up more from his Gigi.

Kyle & his Gigi hanging out c.2003

Besides the physical traits of having the blue eyes and lighter hair color, Kyle also shares some personality traits as well as behavioral ones with mom.

On a side note, I do want to call out that Kyle shares mom’s, dad’s and his dad’s talent for having a sense of direction.  The department Nicole and I miserably fail in.  What a great quality!

Let’s start with innovation.  Yes, mom is such an innovator, if that’s the right word for her.  This goes on all aspects of life.  When it comes to cooking she doesn’t need a recipe, or specific ingredients.  Mom can make a great meal out of cupboard items and miscellaneous food found in the refrigerator, on the fly.  No preparation, no research, just mixing and matching and voila!  A unique meal, that is favorable to the taste buds (as long as she doesn’t burn it).  Kyle is following mom’s knack with food experimentation.  He is certainly taking her lead when he is mixing items together, even something as simple as a smoothie.  Kyle is already breaking away from the standard and the ordinary and is creating his own.  That, I must say takes, guts, talent and skills, maybe a little adventure, which I completely support and encourage.  There has been many a time when I wouldn’t have a said ingredient and mom would say, “Ahh just use this instead.  Not as good but it should be alright.”  The word “should” throws me every time, but I always trust the Gig (our shortened term for Gigi or mom).

Mom is also innovative with everyday household items and situations.  If something is broke or missing, mom can adjust accordingly on the spot to make it work.  Yes sometimes it involves the use of duct-tape.  Her substitutions, however crazy they may appear, usually work.  Kyle can also think out of the box and adjust to to solve a much larger problem.  What really cracks me up, both, mom and Kyle usually think this way to eliminate additional work.  They truly love to take the easy route.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, except if you will not carry on with an activity because of the perception of it being too difficult due to the laziness mind set.  Once when Kyle was a much smaller tyke, maybe four or fives years old, he said, “I want to build Gigi a robot to help her do housework, so she doesn’t have to.”  Yep, somewhere the Olczak engineering gene resides in both of them.

Usually accompanying innovation are details.  Yes, the smallest part of a plan or story.   When mom is telling a story she will give every minor detail before she gets to the point at hand, always having to prod her along.  Now I know where I get it!  At least my details reside in the form of writing and event planning, another trait of mom’s.  Kyle follows all details, no matter how small, especially when it comes to putting his Lego’s together.  Yes again, that must be an Olczak thing, the tiniest of all details is never overlooked.

Mom is also a passive aggressive person, which is not my favorite by far.  Instead of getting to the point or spitting it out, she will go around and around till you figure out what she wants.  Not me!  I would rather just say it or have someone do me that favor.  I do tend to appreciate candor more than politeness.  Can you guess who else does this?  Yes!  The one and only Kyle Piper.  He will go around and around on a topic or subject without just asking the question or getting to the point.  There have been so many times I’ve said, “Kyle what do you want?!  Just spit it out, I can’t read your mind!”  I’ve always encouraged Kyle to ask, but also not to expect him to get his own way.

Gigi & a little bumblebee Kyle 11-18-03

There is one topic that will get Kyle and his Gigi to spit out their feelings, that’s blood and gore.  Yep, both have a really weak stomach for such things including needles, surgery and even a pronounced scratch.  Can’t say that I understand.  The only thing that really gets to me is feces, which can I be blamed?  I’m talking about real life and not TV drama.  Mom could never stand it when we got hurt, including dad.  Every time one of us broke our leg roller skating (Nicole), nail stuck up the foot (me), sliced our head open from the debarker at the sawmill (Ryan), mom would never look in our direction.  She would either call my cousin Paula who is an RN, or my cousin Karen, who doesn’t mind, or another one of the our family friends in the medical field to inspect the damage, seeing if it was hospital worthy.

Side story.  When I was around five or so, my grandparent’s dog, Lady, bit me along the side of the head, just missing my eye.  Not to mention scratched up my chest pretty good.  Naturally I had to get stitches, without Novocain!  As the doctor had my head turned sideways to apply the stitches that I could see go into my head, I also saw mom in the near distance.  She was sitting in the corner of the emergency room, with her legs crossed, bouncing her one leg up and down, and looking away from me.  Wouldn’t even come near me to hold my hand!  She kept her distance even after all the crying for her.  Yep, mom can’t deal with emergency situations!

Kyle on the other hand, is the exact same!  Last summer I got a bad case of Taking On Poison Sumac.  I had to go to the MedCare to have it looked at.  Yes, it was that bad!  The entire time Kyle, who was trying to be supportive said to me, “Boy Aunt Heather I hope you don’t have to get a shot!  I hate shots.”  Guess what?  Yes, they needed to give me a steroid shot.  Kyle took one look at that needle and about turned green.  It’s not just for other people he has no stomach for blood, for himself too.  If he flosses his teeth too hard and they draw a little bit of blood, forget it!  He’s in complete panic mode.

Maybe it’s the idea of pain that scares them.  Mom and Kyle are both babies when it comes to pain.  Pain upon themselves as well as others.  I’m not saying I like any physical discomfort, but I know I can take quite a bit.  I would rather have pain inflicted on myself than to watch another suffer.  Mom and Kyle, can’t deal with either.  If Kyle gets a scratch he is wailing and thrashing around with perceived pain and agony.  Even from a small one inch long thorn scratch.  Maybe they both have extra sensitive skin.

Dad, me, mom, Nicole & Kyle at Kyle’s First Holy Communion at Sacred Heart Church

Of course, dealing with real life situations are usually accompanied by chaos and panic, I get it.  Neither mom nor Kyle can handle such stressful situations.  They don’t respond to pressure.  But to see it on the big screen?  Even when it’s fake?  Nope, neither one has a stomach for it.

Usually gory and graphic is accompanied with suspense and thriller.  Words that most certainly are not accompanied with mom or Kyle.  Scary movies?  Forget it!  I’ve seen Kyle nearly rip the arm off of the couch when he’s watching a show, and it doesn’t have to be a thriller, any show that causes tension.  Kyle will almost get so engrossed into what he’s watching, it’s like he’s living it.  Mom on the other hand, will bury her face in a pillow like an Ostrich and cover he ears so she is as far removed from the sights and sounds around her.

I don’t get it really.  Mom and Kyle both have a flare for the dramatic.  Remember when I was talking about pain?  Yep that’s usually when their theatrical performances take center stage.  Even if something doesn’t go accordingly, and let’s face it, in life when does it ever, that is their time to drip in drama.  I’m sure many can say the same for me, however I am able to keep a level head in a crisis situation, at least the ones I have experience thus far.  Although, I won’t deny my love of the theatrical arts.

We may seem like we’re being mean because we are blunt and able to call out each others faults, however, I’m glad!  No person is perfect and to truly see another, even a family member, for who they really are is a rare quality.  No ego stroking in the Piper family.  We don’t put on disguises, or act like something we’re not, we accept each other for who they are, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Read more comparisons

Who Does Kyle Favor More, His Dad?
Who Does Kyle Favor More, Pappy?
Who Does Kyle Favor More, Aunt Nikki?

What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.  ~William Shakespeare

Me, Kyle & Nicole at the Gutchess Picnic at Idlewild 8/2004

I don’t know how most people are, but our family is big on nicknames or childhood names continued throughout life.  When Kyle was just able to speak he would call me Aiya, pronounced \ī-yuha/.  I’m guessing it was a combination of Aunt and Heather.  No matter, it was Kyle’s word for me and I loved it.  ‘Heather’ is a bit difficult for children to say and then to throw in the ‘Aunt’ can cause a little difficulty.  Not to mention for the first few years of Kyle’s life, he was hard of hearing due to all of his ear infections, respiratory problems, tonsillitis, phenomena and such.  Kyle created Aiya, I understood it to refer to me, I answered to it, and that was my name!

When Kyle was three months old, my sister and I started calling him Narrow.  Evidently, the name ‘Kyle’ comes from the Gaelic origin, meaning a place-name referring to the narrows.  When Kyle was a little tyke he was nothing but narrow.  He had a wide neck, wide feet and legs and a big head, yet he was compact and short in length.  To humor ourselves, we used to say “Our little Narrow” because he was the opposite of slim and narrow.  Then, the name just stuck.  That was nearly twelve years ago.  When talking to Kyle, I usually refer to him as Narrow, but when writing about him, it’s easier to write Kyle.  I love both names and intermix them equally, after all the name Kyle, which I love, was given to him by his dad.  Now his Aunt Nikki and I gave him another name of endearment.  Similar to all his other nicknames I’ve used such as:  ‘Stinker’, ‘Turkey’, ‘Turkey Jerky’, ‘Little Man’, and my favorite, ‘The Package’.

I used to ask Kyle, “What do I call you?” and he would reply “Narrow.”  Then I would ask “What is your name?” by which he would reply “Kyle”.  Then I would continue our interrogation by asking  him “Why do I call you Narrow?” At first he would get this confused look on  his face and sincerely say, “I don’t know”, with which I would reply, “‘Cause I love you!”  He would simply smile and know I was speaking the truth.

Aunt Irene, who is really my cousin & godmother, yet I call her Aunt Irene. She’s holding a little Kyle & her daughter Katie is peeking over her shoulder. c. 2002

Over the years as Kyle’s speech improved, once we got him into speak therapy classes to get him caught up to children of his age, he learned to say my name.  I remember the first time he really tried it out and enunciated it with complete perfection.  It brought tears to my eyes.  As I was sitting there, Kyle walked up to me, held my face in his hands to get my complete attention, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Look I can say Aunt Heather!”  He said it very slowly and deliberately, to catch every syllable.   He was so proud of himself, and as was I.  All I could say was “Wow buddy!  That’s really good!  You’ve been practicing!  But what do you call me?”  Instantly he smiled and said “Aiya!”  As much as I loved hearing my name release from his lips with crystal clear precision, I will admit I loved my little nickname.

While Kyle continued saying my name appropriately and eventually abandoned Aiya, I continued to call him my Narrow.  It’s funny, when people mistaken Kyle for my son and call me mom, Kyle will correct them with pride and say, “That’s my Aunt Heather!”  Love my little man!

Every once in a while we share or re-share Kyle’s childhood stories with him.  Stories he really fancies.  Not long ago I brought up the time when he used to call me Aiya and when he started calling me Aunt Heather.  Not remembering that far back, keep in mind it was only a few years ago, I told Kyle the evaluation of my name through his eyes.

Then the strangest thing happened.  He has now reverted back to calling me Aiya.  Keep in mind it’s more of a conscience effort, but I can tell he still wants to use it.  It’s almost as if he likes the name, or more our tight bond we have, and he wants to display it out loud.

Do I care?  Nope!  Not one bit!  I am his Aunt Heather or his Aiya or whatever he chooses to regard me with his love and affection.  After all, my mom has been named Gigi by Kyle and that has stuck ever since.  He only references mom as ‘Grammy’ when he is speaking to other people so they understand.  In fact, we all use Gigi to refer to my mom, trying to keep a piece of Kyle with us at all times!  Love my Narrow!

Music is what feelings sound like.  ~Author Unknown

This blog post is dedicated to my sister’s cat Toshi (a.k.a. Lester) who used up his nine lives and sadly no amount of fish will re-animate him.  Rest-in-peace Lester!  You’ve had a good adventure, now a new song must be sung.

Laughing About Nothing … Cats!

John Manders signed the Señor Don Gato book for Kyle! He signed it to Señor Don Kyle! Love it! I love the Señor Don Gato song! c. 2004

During our most recent adventure to Parker Dam Home Away From Home – Parker Dam, I was reintroduced to an old friend, Señor Don Gato.  Who is this foreigner who seems like he would be friends with Zorro?  He was a childhood friend who I introduced to Kyle years ago.

How did Señor Don Gato make it to Parker Dam?  No one knows, but while we were splashing around in the Parker Dam creek, he came out of nowhere to make our fun even more enjoyable.

Seems like every time we go to Parker Dam, we head down to the creek, which is the overflow of water straight from Parker Lake itself.  We take the dogs there to splash around and stretch out their legs, not to mention Kyle and I enjoy the cold wet fun too.  While spending this past weekend at Parker Dam, on Saturday we participated in our side activity, just like from trips before, except my sister joined us.  As we trudged through the rocky cold water, looking for rocks or trying to make a new discovery, Kyle busted out in tune.  Can you guess?  Yes! Señor Don Gato!

Being in a little bit of shock, since I don’t remember the last time I heard Kyle singing that song, let alone thinking he remembered it, I listened to him stumble over the words for a moment.   Eventually, I joined in and we went off on our adventure like a couple of hobbits singing and experiencing the surrounding nature.

Nicole & Kyle splashing around in the Parker Dam creek with the dogs. 6/15/13

You see Señor Don Gato was a song we sang in elementary school, Sacred Heart.  Me, being a lover of all things cats, I loved the song instantly!   I remember sitting on the floor in the classroom having music class with Miss Gasper and going over the lyrics.  Keep in mind this was the first time I had ever heard of Señor Don Gato, so I really didn’t know how the story ended.  When we got to the part when he died, I started to shed a few tears for poor old Señor Don Gato.  My heart was broken.  Then, as we continued reading the lyrics, I was so happy for Señor Don Gato.  Literally, I fell that deeply into this song.  I believe it made our spring musical one year, although I can’t remember which classroom had the honor of singing it.

It was one of the few non religious songs we sang.  Not that I didn’t enjoy the other tunes, but something about Señor Don Gato really captured me.  It was as if I could see the story unfold in my head as we sand along.  I saw him reading the letter, I saw him leaping from the rooftop, I saw the funeral pass the market square and I could smell the fish.  (In my mind it smelt like Sea World which almost made me puke when I was there!)  Naturally, I never forgot it and Señor Don Gato has stayed with me ever since.  So much so, that when Kyle was just able to talk, I started teaching him the lyrics.  I’m pretty sure I sang the tune to him when he was little too.  For some reason I wanted to make sure he was exposed to the clever lyrics of Señor Don Gato during his childhood.  I knew he would love it as much as I did.

Fun facts according to Wikipedia:

The lyrics are loosely translated from the traditional Spanish song “Estaba el señor Don Gato”, but the melody is from a different song, “Ahora Que Vamos Despacio”.  There is also a French version of “Estaba el señor Don Gato” called “Monsieur le Chat”.

I thought everyone knew of this fun and silly song, however as I moved along through my adult life, I found it was sadly the opposite.  Yes there were a few, but the majority had no idea what I was talking about when mentioning old Señor Don Gato.

Kyle having a great time singing & splashing in the Parker Dam creek! We were singing Señor Don Gato, an all time favorite of both of ours. 6/15/13

Until one day, I saw John Manders, a very talented and one of my favorite illustrators of present day, illustrated the book Señor Don Gato!  This was around 2004, and he was going to be at a Barnes & Noble store in Pittsburgh demonstrating and reading from another one of his illustrated books.  I wanted to take Kyle so bad, but alas it was one of the few weekends he was not with us.  So I went with my previously purchased book to have him sign it.  What a great guy!  I met him on a few other occasions in the past, usually at art exhibits. He signed the book to Señor Don Kyle!  That was great!

That book and another one, both signed and illustrated by John Manders, was my gift to Kyle for either Easter or his birthday that year, I can’t remember.  It was a hit!  He recognized the song and to have it illustrated out before his eyes was a real treat.  Not to mention having the books signed directly to him made it personal.

I’m so glad another generation will carry on the legacy of old Señor Don Gato!

For those of you who do not know the song or those that need refreshed on the lyrics, please sing along below!

Oh Señor Don Gato was a cat,
On a high red roof Don Gato sat.
He went there to read a letter,
Meow, meow, meow
Where the reading light was better,
Meow, meow, meow
T’was a love note for Don Gato.

I adored you wrote the lady cat.
Who was fluffy, white, and nice and fat.
There was not a sweeter kitty
Meow, meow, meow
In the country or the city
Meow, meow, meow
And she said she’d wed Don Gato.

Oh, Don Gato jumped so happily,
He fell off the roof and broke his knee.
Broke his ribs and all his whiskers,
Meow, meow, meow
And his little solar plexus,
Meow, meow, meow
Ay carramba! cried Don Gato.
(when Kyle would sing this he would say, “I cry and I cry Don Gato.”)

When the doctors all came on the run,
Just to see if something could be done.
And they held a consultation,
Meow, meow, meow
About how to save their patient,
Meow, meow, meow
How to save Señor Don Gato.

But in spite of everything they tried,
Poor Señor Don Gato up and died.
Oh it wasn’t very merry,
Meow, meow, meow
Going to the cemetery,
Meow, meow, meow
For the ending of Don Gato.

As the funeral passed the market square,
Such a smell of fish was in the air.
Though his burial was slated,
Meow, meow, meow
He became re-animated,
Meow, meow, meow
He came back to life Don Gato!

Below is a video of us splashing around the creek at Parker Dam.  Me, Nicole, Kyle, Seven and Scooby had a blast!  6/15/13

Haldir had gone on and was now climbing to the high flet. As Frodo prepared to follow him, he laid his hand upon the tree beside the ladder: never before had he been so suddenly and so keenly aware of the feel and texture of a tree’s skin and of the life within it. He felt a delight in wood and the touch of it, neither as forester nor as carpenter; it was the delight of the living tree itself.  ~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Dad sharpening his chainsaw blade, while Kyle watches. I guess he doesn’t realize he can push back his hat to see instead of stretching his neck?

Sometimes I have stories to tell, and sometimes I just want to write a dissertation on observations from the Piper family.  This one is just plain funny.  Who knows, maybe there are others like dad or have a different infinity for something.  I guess some people notice old cars, or landscaping or birds, dad notices trees and piles of wood.

I guess that’s where I’m going to start, with wood.  Yes!  The only renewable resource placed on our planet that covers approximately 9.4% of the Earth’s surface, 30% of the total land area, or so I’m told by Wikipedia.  The sometimes tall, always intriguing and beautiful structures projecting upward towards the heavens from the ground.  Yes, woods, trees, forest, all of the above.  Dad has this affinity for the resource, rather an obsession.

Now let me step back and mention he started working at nine years of age making posts.  Can you image any child now-a-days working that young?  I mean working hard.  Well, he did.  Maybe that’s what started his appreciation for wood and his gravitation toward it.  It probably helped.  My guess, it was his career of being a woodsman, a logger that did the trick.  My pap, my Uncle Sonny and my dad owned a sawmill for years.  Dad was in charge of scouting out new timber, cutting down the logs and hauling them to the sawmill to be cut into boards.  So naturally his eyes were always on timber and of course he can name the local species of tress.  Or at least he used to, he’s slipping in his old age.

Dad’s truck he used to haul logs with from the sawmill.

When I think of my dad, the smell of cut wood comes to mind.  No joke!  When I was little and dad would come home from a long day of manual labor, he would bring some of his work home with him.  It came in the form of sawdust in his pant legs.  Dad’s not very tall, so he always had to cuff the legs on his jeans.  Then, when he was cutting down trees, the sawdust would make their way into the protection of his pant cuffs.  Before dad would walk into the house, he would sit on the top step of the porch and unroll his jeans to release all the tiny bits of wood he was dragging around with him.  I love that smell!  To this day, when I catch the whiff of fresh cut wood, dad comes to my mind and a sense of my childhood.  A truly comforting feeling!  I can’t help but try and consume the fragrance of fresh cut wood, it’s such a sweet scent and I want it all for myself.

Uncle Sonny at our saw mill  c. late 1980′s

But then again, wood, might just come from our genes, not jeans, unless we’re talking about dad’s pant cuffs.  Then yes, wood chips and sawdust did come from there.  But let’s talk about the Piper DNA.  I do believe while being conceived there is a wood gene that enters each one of us, some more than others.  Maybe I should step back even further.  The Piper’s have a long legacy of logging and working in the lumber industry.  There wasn’t just one Piper sawmill, but many.  Are they all related?  Pretty much, somewhere down the family tree, so to speak.

Do I have a strong affection for wood?  The more I think about it, I kind of do.  Not to the extreme of dad, but it’s definitely there.  I love the texture, the look, the smell of wood and everyone knows I love being in the woods, much like dad.  He always did love spending time among the trees.

Uncle Sonny walking around Shober’s camp, near Parker Dam

So what brought up this realization?  Dad of course.  For years now, dad has been known to be caught checking out other peoples woods and trees.  Heck, he just doesn’t check out their trees on their property, he notices their wood pile.  Yes!  If someone has wood stacked or just piled up in their yard, especially if they’re logs, his eyes automatically gravitates toward it.  Usually followed by a comment of something like, “Ooo check out their wood pile!” or “Wow they have some nice wood.” or “That’s a nice stockpile they have, looks like they’re ready for winter.” even if it’s the middle of summer.  Yes this has been going on for as long as I can remember, no matter where we’re at.

Once when we were visiting Nicole, outside of Washington, D.C. we went out for breakfast one morning.  While everyone was working their way out of the restaurant, dad walked to the other side of the parking lot, which faced a little patch of woods and stood and stared.  Can you believe he stood there examining the trees?   Out of curiosity, thinking dad might have saw something, I stood beside him and looked on.  Finally I said, “What are we looking at?” Without taking his eyes off of the trees, he said “I was just seeing what kind of timber they have.”  Then he began naming the species of wood and the nice trees.  I just walked away.

The side of our sawmill

All these years I thought it was just dad who seriously lives in the mind of trees.  Nope, a couple of weeks ago as a matter of fact, I was meeting with my cousins Jimmy Scanlon and Marie-Paule.  We were going over the details of the Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing they organize every year in memory of their son, who passed away from a brain tumor.  (It’s all in The Chad Delier Scanlon Story)  I don’t know how we got on the subject, but I brought up dad’s obsession with wood, trees and wood piles.  Sasha, their daughter, started laughing and said, “He does the same thing!” as she pointed toward her dad Jimmy.  I was in utter amazement!  It’s true, there are others!  Jimmy just laughed and confirmed what Sasha said was true.   That blew me away!  So it must be in the genes!

After saying all this, I will admit when Nicole and I were in Forks, Washington Rain Forest, Forks, Beach… All in One Day! Twilight Pilgrimage Part 2, which happens to be the logging capital of the world, or at least they used to be, I noticed everyone, and I mean everyone had stockpiles of wood in their yards.  As we drove around to see the sights, I would notice all the wood piles.  I’m guessing since that town is so remote and they have access to cut timber, burning wood is their source of heat for the winter.  Yes!  I was doing what dad does, however I kept telling Nicole, “Boy if dad was here he’d be checking out all the wood piles!”  We both laughed at that very true statement.  Ironically enough, I was indirectly checking out the wood piles as well, on behalf of dad.  I even told him when I got back, “Dad you would be drooling over all the piles of wood in everyone’s yards!”  Mom just rolled her eyes, but that caught dad’s attention.

I’m guessing everyone has their thing, dad’s just happens to be wood, which I have no doubt inherited proudly.  One day I hope to take him out west to Washington to see those trees!  I believe that’s on his bucket list.  I truly hope dad never looses his interest in wood, for I fear it would be the end of dad.

Below is a video of dad running my cousin Merle and Bruce’s forward logging truck.  Personally I shot to the video because it has been awhile since dad loaded wood like that, and I thought I would catch him doing something funny.  Nope!  He showed me, he jumped into the rhythm in a matter of minutes just like he’s been loading every day of his life.  Actually, it was pretty cool to capture a rare video of dad working with in his comfort zone.

Dad saw the junk pile of wood and didn’t want it thrown away and wasted, he wanted to at least burn it.  So that’s what brought us there, dad and his observation for wood!

Home is where the heart is.  ~Pliny the Elder

Mom, Kyle & dad are packed & heading to Parker Dam. The boys (Seven & Scooby) are in the back. 6/13/13

Making another voyage to Parker Dam this past weekend, proved to be as nice of a time, as our other trips.  It was funny though, for some reason I really payed attention to my neighbors.  First, I’d like to explain that we always camp in the area approved for dogs.  Our favorite spot is lot number 90.  A nice little section out of the way, just outside the woods and near the restrooms and not far from the showers.

On Saturday, when Kyle and I were coming back from the Parker Dam beach, while riding my bike waiting for Kyle to drop his attitude and catch up to me, which incidentally he was moving so slow he could have grew moss, I people watched.  On a side note, I was reminded of something said to me last time we were riding our bikes at Parker Dam.  Kyle said, “Aunt Heather, we are on self propelled two wheel transportation devices.”  I have no idea where that came from, but it shot out of his mouth and almost made me fall off of my bike.  Anyway, as I peddled along, for some reason I really paid attention to the eclectic group of individuals staying on the camp grounds.  Some visitors only stay a night and move on, while others set up camp for what seems like a lifetime.   As different and unique as our fingerprints, same goes for the camp site setups and their dwellings.

Sunday morning it rained at Parker Dam. Look at Nicole heading to the restrooms! I was dying when I saw her…yep she blends. Is she going to the bathroom or hunting? 6/16/13

Looking around at the different types of campers, meaning the vehicle they reside in while camping, not a reference to the person, I was utterly amazed!  Some camp sites are very rugged, getting back to the basics with a simple tent on the ground, while others set up a second home complete with satellite TV and a name plate posted in front of their temporary residence.  To be honest, I never noticed everyone else before.  We tend to stay to our own little rented out corner until it’s time to depart.  Personally, I really don’t care what everyone else it doing.   I, like my family, enjoy a little solitude and peace with nature, however as I peddled along my eyes were wide open.  I couldn’t believe what I saw!  I mean lights strung up in all shapes and sizes including chili peppers and ice-cream cones; a neon palm tree stuck in the ground with pink flamingos positioned all around; potted plants hanging from awnings; and huge tents to fit a wedding party staked to the ground.  Can you believe others take all that extra time for such embellishments while camping?  You better believe it!

I’m a pretty simple traveler no matter the destination Traveling Habits, only taking the essentials, not extra stuff.  That certainly holds true for camping.  Before we left and started packing up the camper, I thought to myself, ‘Boy this is a lot of work just for one weekend.  Is this really worth it for a two hour trip, a three day stay in a camper?’  I can’t imagine how long it takes those elaborate campers to pack up for their weekend stay, let alone set up camp.

You know, at first I can sit back and kind of make fun and laugh, but the more I looked, the more I noticed something, these little pieces of grassy lots holding all this stuff, is a home.  It certainly is that way for us.  In fact, there was a couple of times mom would say, “When we get back home”, meaning our camper.   It’s true what they say, ‘Home Is Where the Heart Is’.  And as I watched everyone have a great time, their heart was fully into camping, maybe not so ruggedly but the experience was there.  It almost made me feel like I was a part of something bigger.

Seven & Scooby are packed & ready to head out to Parker Dam. They love the ride! 6/13/13

My parents had a neighbor, the Davis’ who used to take their RV camping.  They even had an electric golf cart so they could drive around the camp grounds visiting friends and socializing.  We are not that outgoing, but we did manage to break away for our isolation to chit chat with a few of our neighbors, who were nice and very interesting.  The one lady was in a wheelchair, yet she liked to camp, so their beast of a camper called the Wolf Pack folded down in the rear, allowing her to drive her motorized transportation up into her safe haven.

There was another lady walking her dog and kitten.  Yep!  Kitten!  A cute little tiger striped eight week old kitten.  The fury feline walked alongside the lady and her husband, while he walked their dog.  Now that kitten got me to stop and make a friend, as did Kyle.  He was obsessed with the fur ball!  When I told her I also brought my cat, she said, “O ya!  I had to, she’s still on the bottle and I didn’t want to leave her with my other cats.  I thought people would think I’m weird, camping with a cat.”  I totally laughed and said, “Cats are as much apart of the family as dogs are!”  Yep, we were surrounded by interesting and really down to earth people.

The weekend turned out to be another enjoyable trip.   It started off on Thursday night.  Kyle rode up with mom, dad, Seven and Scooby and the camper packed full, while Nicole and I left Friday during the day.  We were suppose to leave Latrobe around nine, however my sister convinced herself it was Saturday and apparently she wakes up later on the weekends.  Me?  I prefer to get up the same time all week long so my body is used to it and it becomes habit. Now I’m not saying I do wake up at 5:00 am every day of the week, but I do set that alarm to keep me in the rhythm.  Anyway, Nicole didn’t get up until around 8:00 am and she had a four hour drive to get me.  What?  Really?  Yep!  She finally got to the house at 1:00 pm and we made it to camp around 3:00 pm.  Not bad, even though I was looking forward to fishing with dad and Kyle in the morning, but no harm done.  Dad said the fish weren’t biting anyway.

Throughout our time at Parker Dam, we did a little biking, a little swimming and playing in the sand at the beach, we traipsed around with the dogs in the creek, made mountain pies and s’mores over the camp fire and relived the last time we were at Parker Dam.  Somewhere between Kyle’s need of an attitude adjustment and the fun and pleasant young man I know, he was singing uncontrollably.  All sorts of songs, including Christmas tunes.  What really brought a smile to my face and a song to the my lips, is when we were cautiously walking around in the creek and Kyle started singing Señor Don Gato!  I love that song!  I taught it to Kyle when he was just able to speak.  What brought that on?  I have no idea, but it was the perfect song for singing, while splashing around in a creek, in the middle of the woods.

Saturday night they had movie night!  They played Brave at their outside amphitheater.  It was really cool watching a movie in the middle of the woods outside in the nice cool air, while sitting under a blanket.  I loved it!  Almost like the drive in, only better!  While we were there we met a lady who was originally from Latrobe.  Incidentally, she was good friends of my parent’s neighbor, who were also friends of the family, the Ferry’s.  What a small a world!

Check out the Piper bonfire! We never do anything small, not even hanging around a campfire at Parker Dam. 6/16/13

Funny story:  Sorry I can’t remember her name, but she is a manager of the park.  She also previously came across my blog, finding it on her Google alerts for Parker Dam.  She read my last few blog posts about our camping experiences at the park.  Smart lady, doing her homework and hearing first hand what others are saying.  I can only say good things about Parker Dam.  The facilities and amenities are very clean and really nice and the park rangers are very pleasant and respectful.  I’m not the only one who thinks so.  I have a friend who goes there twice a year, they’ve been doing since she was a little girl.  Well done!  Two thumbs up for Parker Dam!

Sunday morning rained.  Did we care?  Nope not at all!  We were in our very own dry safe haven.  It was just like being at home.  Nicole, Kyle and I played card games, Three of a Kind was the game of choice, although sometimes we broke out a mean game of war.  I brought the chess set, however it never made its appearance.  Kyle and I both read, I was working on Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring and his journey took place in Lord of the Rings The Two Towers.  Mom, dad, the dogs and Storm?  They laid around and nodded off and on.

With all this “stuff”, guess what also managed to make its appearance?  Yes you guessed it the Legos!  On Saturday night I sat with Kyle on our big rock by the camp fire and helped him set up the battle and played a little.  Funny story!  Kyle thought me and his Aunt Nikki were taking my car to camp so right before he departed on Thursday night with mom and dad, he loaded my car up Legos.  I mean loaded!  They covered the backseat, the passenger seat and the floor of all three places.  When I opened the door I thought I was at war.  Kyle said, “Ya that’s so when you get there, I would have already set up my battle and you can bring the reinforcements.”  Naturally, that’s exactly what I was thinking for our camping trip, to drag around a ton of Legos.  Only a few made the trip.

Now looking back on the weekend, and realizing what I am remembering are now memories, memories of fun, memories of togetherness, memories at our home away from home, I realize all the packing and hulling stuff, setting it up and tearing it down, ‘YES it was totally worth it!’  Can’t wait to do it again!

Read other adventures at Parker Dame

Fishing Towards Independence
Just Had to Take It to Parker Dam
Parker Dam State Park Story
Lego Love

This post may not be very random, after all with the recent events of the Moore, Oklahoma tornado destruction.  On Monday, May 20, 2013 a devastating EF5 tornado struck down Moore, Oklahoma, with winds of more than 210 miles per hour.   This natural disaster caused at least 23 deaths, more than 100 rescued, 237 injured and as many as 20,000 families displaced.  According to Fox News, this tornado is placed in the same class as the deadliest in United States history.  The one who owns this title hit Joplin, Missouri in 2011.  That twister killed more than 158 and injured hundreds.  As per Fox News:

An EF-5 is as bad as it gets,” said Joe D’Aleo, co-chief forecaster for WeatherBell Analytics. “It’s equivalent to a Category 5 hurricane. It means winds were more than 200 miles per hour, and it means you have to be underground, because there will be nothing left above ground.

While reading about recent tornado destruction, I found some really intriguing information.  Now I am no weather expert, so I am hoping all this information is one hundred percent accurate.

• In the last 63 years, only 59 EF-5 tornadoes have touched down in the U.S.
• One-tenth of a percent of all tornadoes are ranked an EF-5
• Most powerful twisters cause 20% of all tornado damage & destruction
• United States has the most powerful tornadoes
• On the average, tornadoes only last a few minutes
• Every tornado is unique – its own color, sound, shape
• Tornadoes have been reported in every state during every season
• Most tornadoes occur between 3 pm and 9 pm – although they can strike at any time

Pennsylvania Tornadoes

• 1985 had the largest EF-4 tornado in Centre County (Moshannon Tornado)  – only 10 reported since 1950
• Since 1950 only 650 tornadoes reported in PA
• In Pennsylvania, a tornado bigger than EF-2 is rare
• There have been a tornado reported in every month of the year in PA
• The strongest storms happen in May
• Severe weather primary time in PA is from April 27th to September 5th
• The peak time of severe weather in PA is between July 1st through July 8th

Take from Weather Wiz Kids:

There are two big forces at work, external and internal.  We have very little control over external forces such as tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, disasters, illness and pain.  What really matters is the internal force.  How do I respond to those disasters?  Over that I have complete control.  ~Leo F. Buscaglia

During a recent visit to Parker Dam State Park, Fishing Toward Independence, Just Had to Take It to Parker Dam, we naturally went down memory lane.  As we fished and shot the breeze by the campfire, dad brought up the time the tornado went through Parker Dam.  I totally forgot all about that!  With the most recent tornado disaster hitting Oklahoma, I guess tornadoes were on our minds.  This tornado, that hit home and presented a miracle and a happy ending for a group of boy scouts, was the subject discussed.  Kyle listened as we shined a light on local past news.

Just to recap, on Monday, May 20, 2013 a devastating EF5 tornado struck down Moore, Oklahoma, with winds of more than 210 miles per hour.   It was such a tragedy of 23 deaths, more than 100 rescued, 237 injured and as many as 20,000 families displaced.  What really hit home was the elementary school that was leveled out by the massive twister.  Sure natural disasters are upsetting and horrible, but when you’re pulling children out of rubble, it strikes another cord with onlookers and tends to pull on the heart strings a little bit more.

(FEMA Photo)  Devastation from the EF5 tornado that hit Moore, Oklahoma on  May 20, 2013.

My thoughts and prayers are still with those who have lost loved ones and had their lives leveled in a single blow.

Moving from that natural disaster and reminiscing on another, the tornado at Parker Dam.

Fortunately, due to no loss in life and because of the remote location, most people don’t know a tornado even hit Parker Dam State Park in Clearfield County.  But it did!  On May 31, 1985 an EF4 tornado leveled about 100 miles of state forest with winds of up to 260 miles per hour.  It even pulled the water right out of the creeks.  Dad said, as far as he could see up and down the hills, trees were flattened.  “It was as if someone clear cut the woods” and left behind splinters in the wake.  “You could see all the way up and down the ridge.  It was something else.”

There were other outbreaks of tornadoes on the same day in Pennsylvania, and the one that hit Parker Dame was the longest lived, staying on the ground for a distance of 69 miles in an hour and a half, reaching Clearfield, Clinton, and Centre counties.  It was one of four EF4 tornadoes to touch down in Pennsylvania on that very same day.  A state who is no stranger to tornadoes, but not really accustomed to the natural disaster either, experienced a major change in the ordinary.

Parker Lake at Parker Dam State Park

Granted, the tornadoes that touched down in Pennsylvania don’t even compare to the Oklahoma tornado, yet the awesomeness of God’s had is still amazing.  Luckily, there weren’t a lot of people in the park when the tornado struck, with the exception of a few campers and a boy scout troop to tell the tale.

The really amazing thing was the zero death toll!  The tornado went right over the camp of boy scouts without touching them!  Granted it ripped off parts of the roof from the octagon shaped building, yet they all returned unscathed.  The boy scouts held onto the doorways and their troop leaders for support, while the massive twister hovered over them and ripped down trees and power lines.  I read an article about the 25th anniversary, commemorating their survival.   To that day, they commented on the locomotive sound that hit them fast and seemingly out of nowhere.  Without shortage of memory, they detailed the events from that day.  That is one of those moments that have stayed with them and always will.  I can only imagine!

Everyone credits the octagon shaped building the boy scouts were hunkered down in, for the reason of their survival.  They feel the way the winds were whipping over them and the unique shape of the building gave them safety.  Perhaps, but if God didn’t want them to live, they wouldn’t have had a chance, even from a sturdy structure.

The Octagon lodge the boy scouts hunkered down in while the EF4 tornado swept over them on May 31, 1985. They all survived!

It took rescuers days before they were able to rescue the survivors, because of their location and all the ground debris.  Frightful as the event was during the tornado and equally as chilling as their tales, I still love hearing those survivor stories!  They are full of hope and faith!  Not to mention, it puts everything in life into perspective.

Today, you can still walk through the recovering tornado ravaged woods.  Naturally, the trees came back, all at different rates, but nature took care of its own.  Parker Dam is another piece of heaven on earth with the green luscious woods, wild animals running free and creeks full of fish.  Yep, pure heaven, maybe with the exception of the mosquitoes.

I guess we’re all going back to camp and fish and just plain chill out.  Seriously, can’t wait!

Parker Dam History

Finding the origins of Parker Dam interesting, I thought I’d share some fun facts I’ve read on the state park.  Some information came from Wikipedia, and some I read on the signs at Parker Dam, and some from online articles.

Construction of the 968-acre state park really started in 1794 with the removal of trees, to eventually leading to the need to reforest the lands by the Civilian Conservation Corps.  During the Great Depression, in the 1930′s the real construction of the buildings and such began, giving us Parker Dam State Park, of Huston Township in Clearfield County, Pennsylvania.

Surrounding the state park is the Moshannon State Forest.  Many critters call the park home including the ovenbird, American redstart, turkey, beaver (which I saw on my last adventure to the park), white-tailed deer, bears (which dad has hunted), coyotes, foxes, bobcats, porcupines (better not tell Scooby Scooby Meets a Porcupine) and elk.  Pretty much a stranger to Pennsylvania, I guess elk have settled in the remote areas of the local counties and are now among the inhabitants sometimes spotted there.

So now to the reason for the name, Parker Dam.  Laurel Run was dammed up to make the man made Parker Lake.   This 20-acre lake is usually the centerpiece of picnicking, fishing and even swimming on the sandy beach.  Yes, they have a small beach on the one side of the lake for families to cool down and splash around.  Sorry Seven and Scooby, no dogs allowed!

During fishing season, the lake can be outlined by many trying to catch their prize largemouth bass, various species of trout and catfish.   Evidently, the lake is open in the winter, once frozen over, for ice fishing and ice skating.

As I’ve mentioned hunting is permitted in designated areas of the Park as per the Pennsylvania Game Commission.

Also something else I found interesting and didn’t know.  As per Wikipedia

Parker Dam State Park is the western trailhead of the Quehanna Trail System.  This trail is about 75 miles (121 km) long and meanders its way through the surrounding state forests. The Quehanna Trail connects with the Susquehannock Trail near Sinnemahoning State Park.  Backpackers are not permitted to camp overnight at the park. The trails are open to cross-country skiing during the winter months.

Everyone should visit a State Park!  You’ll be surprised at the peace nature can bring to the soul.

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.  ~Wilson Mizner

Chad on the left, dad on the right and Uncle Sonny & Jeremy behind him on the left. At Shober’s camp near Parker Dam c.1987

Recently, my family and I took a mini camping and fishing vacation to Parker Dam State Park, just staying the duration of the weekend.  Evidently, we are going back in a few weeks but this time Aunt Nikki is gracing us with her presence.

Going there as a child, I enjoyed revisiting the area, revisiting forgotten memories.  The Schober’s, good friends of the family had a camp in that area, not far from the entrance to Parker Dam.  We used to go up there along with my Uncle Sonny and my cousins as well as family friends to camp out, fish and hunt.  It was always a lot of fun, camping with other kids, making mountain pies, catching fish, spotting bear and sitting by the camp fire.  This time my experience included setting up our temporary residence in lot #90 with our camper, the dogs, my cat and spotting a beaver.  Yep, even after all these years, still equally as fun!

The entire time, dad was reminiscing about us camping among the state park and all his hunting and fishing trips.  Out of nowhere dad would comment, “I got a big bear back in that part of the woods.”  or “We used to catch big trout out of that lake.” or “Ryan and I used to fish in that creek.”  Actually, it was fun to hear dad comment on all the activities I was not apart of, and the ones I forgot about.

Kyle really enjoyed hearing the tails, especially coming from his pappy.  Probably because it’s so unusual to hear dad go into a story, even though they didn’t include much elaboration, not like me and mom when telling stories.  Still, hearing the stores shoot straight out of dad’s mouth even captured my attention.  I could tell dad really enjoyed talking about Ryan, Kyle’s dad.  And we enjoyed listening.

Ryan & Chad wrestling at Shober’s camp. Near Parker Dam c. 1987

Dad reiterated a few times, (being an understatement) throughout the weekend about Ryan loosing his buck knife in the woods.  This seriously seemed to bother dad greatly because he mentioned it, no joke, at least a dozen times.  Apparently, Ryan went up to Parker Dam to hunt and wanted to take his brand new buck knife.  The one dad got him.  Dad didn’t want him to take the knife, saying he didn’t need it, however, Ryan had other plans.  While moving through the woods, it fell off of Ryan’s belt and was lost forever.  As Kyle and I were listening from the front seat of the truck, dad said, “He just had to take it.  I told him not to and then he lost it.  O, well, I guess he really liked that knife.”  Kyle gave me a sideways grin because Kyle does the same sort of thing, not listen to sound advice when he has his heart set on his plans.  Kyle’s notorious for taking objects on adventures that were advised not to.  I guess like father, like son.

The whole weekend dad would pipe up saying, “I wish I could find that knife.  I know about the area he lost it.  Ryan said he looked for it but couldn’t find it, course your daddy didn’t look so good.”  as he made eye contact with Kyle.  That’s true too, Kyle doesn’t look so good either when he is looking for something or tracking it down.  It would be right in front of his face and never see it.  Just like Ryan!  Later on, dad said, “Naturally I felt bad about him loosing his knife, I went and got him another one for Christmas.”  Kyle shot me the orneriest grin after that comment.  Dad does the same for Kyle!  Good old pappy has replaced so many items Kyle lost or broke over the years, and Kyle knows his pappy will always do it.  They are all peas in a pod!

So somewhere in the  968-acre Parker Dam State Park is Ryan’s buck knife, unless it found a new home.  Although, dad swears he knows the general location of the crime scene, again it could have ended up lining the pockets of another.  One day, I would love to trek into those woods, once hiked by Ryan, with a metal detector and see if I could find it.  Dad would die happy.  I could tell he would no doubt give it to Kyle with pride.

Sometimes its the little items that bring back the biggest memories and really put things into perspective.  Can’t wait for our next family adventure!

It is rather for us here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to the that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion.  ~Abraham Lincoln

Kyle really helped me arrange & plant the flowers for his dad’s grave. Great Memorial Day tradition. 5/26/13

Yes,  the annual tradition of planting flowers on the headstones of the beloved deceased relatives was this past weekend.  What a nice time to plant delicate color among the rows and rows of inexorable reminders of those who are living elsewhere.  Odd enough, I do enjoy it!  Sometimes it helps to lessen the pain of loss.

Of course, what’s not to love?  Picking out pretty flowers?  Digging in the dirt to plant spring? All while sitting in manicured green grass.  It’s actually quite enjoyable, especially on the ridge where we tend to Ryan’s, pap’s and baby Piper’s graves.  The Bethel Lutheran Cemetery sits on the edge of the woods and overlooks the countryside.  As long as we get an early start on the day, or like this year, go late in the evening when the blazing sun is ready to retire, it makes for a relaxing family activity.

But no matter if it’s early or late in the day, cloudy or sunny, I can be found wearing a hat and smelling heavily of sunscreen, 45+ for babies.  Kyle can test to that, for I coat him in a thick layer as well, to protect and preserve his flawless skin.  Mom, finds a shady spot to plant herself during the activity.  You might say we are sun sensitive people, minus dad.

While continuing tradition, something struck me as kind of funny.  We plant annuals, yes the plants that die once winter comes.  As opposed to perennials, which sprout up every year.  It’s true, years ago I planted bulbs on Ryan’s and pap’s plots so the tulips and daffodils are up once spring arrives, for Easter.  Besides that, the only flowers we plant are annuals.  It’s kind of funny, planting something that will die in a place full of dead people.  Almost reminiscent of their life, starting out as a seed from the ground, grew out of the dirt to grace the world with life and beauty, and then went back to the earth from whence it came.  So maybe the annuals are more appropriate than perennials?  After all, if life was intimating life in my crazy random thought, who wants the dead to come back to life and then die again, to repeat the steps every year?  Aren’t those considered zombies?  Although I can’t lie, I would love to hang out with Ryan again, but I know one day I will.

Continuing our tradition, we planted flowers on Uncle Walter & Aunt Mary’s headstone. Uncle Walter was a merchant marine. Where did his flag go? 5/26/13

So annuals it is!  On another side note, I am well aware our beloved deceased relatives are not truly hanging out in cemeteries.  The headstones are a nice symbol to remind us of who they were and where they are now.  It gives us a place to physically visit their memory.  Plus let’s face it, cemeteries are very peaceful and almost refreshing.

Quick story.  After Scooby, our Lab, had surgery to remove the tumor under his chin, he wasn’t allowed to run in the woods, for fear of ripping the stitches.  The poor dog wanted to go on our daily walks so bad!  To accommodate our pup, I modified the route to include the neighboring cemetery, which is positioned on the side of a small hill. Better exercise for me and for the dogs to run up and down.  The boys run free, with their shock collars strapped to their necks of course, in case of disobedience.  However, they do listen pretty good.

Anyway, as we rounded the bend to enter the cemetery, it dawned on me, ‘What if they have to expel waste?’  Yikes!  I would never want the dogs to crap in front of someone’s plot, nor pee on their headstone!  I watched them run around and you know what?  They used the edge of the woods to do their business.  Amazing!  It’s like the dogs had respect for the dead.  Now if dogs know better, why don’t some humans?  So basically those individuals who vandalize cemeteries are less than dogs?  Sounds about right!

More tradition of planting flowers on Uncle Frank & Aunt Kathryn’s headstone 5/26/13

This year Nicole was home.  We packed up the vehicle and headed out to our first stop, Saint Joseph’s Cemetery, in Derry.  My cousin John usually tends to his parents, but the weather was not cooperating prior to Memorial weekend.  He and his family were on vacation at the Outer Banks.  Lucky devil!  No worries, I needed to visit Uncle Frank and Aunt Kathryn’s anyway.

Then, we headed back to Latrobe to make a big stop at Saint Vincent’s Cemetery.  I really do love that cemetery.  It’s always well kept and sits on the outskirts of the college.  We planted mom’s parents and her grandparents.  We also had the privilege of making a stop by my Uncle Walter and Aunt Mary’s to spread more colorful cheer.  My cousin Paula was not able to get to her parents.  Again, no worries we were in the area and I do love giving back to the family, even though it’s in the form of parking a few flowers.  To give respect for my family living and deceased, in addition to planting flowers, I clean off their headstones and clean up the area to make it nice and presentable.  I believe the graves are an extension from our homes, after all it’s ground that we own, similar to our places of residence.

After a day flower planting traditions, we headed out to the backyard for a campfire. Love mountain pies! Aunt Nikki & Kyle warmed up by the fire. 5/26/13

Next we headed up on the ridge.  Ryan’s takes me a bit longer because I sit and plan out his flowers and I have a little bit bigger area to fill.  This year Kyle really participated.  I mean, in the past he’s always helped me plant and clean up trash and such, but this year he gave his sincerest opinion and assistance.  He told me which flowers he wanted on his dad’s headstone and thought out the arrangement they were to be placed.  Great!  He also really dug in and helped, not just going through the motions, but giving a heartfelt desire to make things nice.  That’s my buddy!

I always enjoy planting flowers and tending to the headstones, but this year was even better!  Kyle and I shared the longing to honor and remember our loved ones.  I hope, one day this tradition takes roots in Kyle, especially after I’m long gone.

Hint:  Petunias are pretty, come in a variety of colors and are hardy.

All there is to thinking is seeing something noticeable which makes you see something you weren’t noticing which makes you see something that isn’t even visible.  ~Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It

Me fishing at Parker’s Dam. These were the only fish I caught… while dad & Kyle reeled in the big ones.  Yes it was very early in the morning!  5/18/13

Kyle amazes me, he really does.  Some days he is still the kid I’ve always known, maybe too much like a kid, and other days, he’s such an independent little man.  It’s really weird to say Kyle is independent.  He’s never really exhibited self-supporting behavior, ever.  Kyle has always been the type of the child that needed someone to join him in doing any activity, even watching TV and sometimes playing.   Sometimes he entertains himself, but he usually likes the social activity.  When he was really little, it was even difficult for him to walk back the hallway without someone by his side.  Nope, independent and Kyle have never been synonymous.  That is until recently.

Two weekends ago my family, including the dogs and my cat, went to Parker Dam for a short weekend get away.  My sister couldn’t make the camping and fishing weekend of fun, but there will be a next time.  Mom and dad got there really early Friday morning.  When I mean early, I mean early.  Mom said dad had her up at 3:00 am to leave early and get a head start on the day.  Not me, I had to pick Kyle up off the bus, before heading out and joining up with the parents, and Seven and Scooby.

Friday night was pretty uneventful, except for Storm.  She worked her way out of her harness, twice, and made a break for the woods.  The night went perfect when she came back unscathed.  In fact, she ran around all weekend, going in and out of the woods along side our campsite.  I was afraid of a coyote or owl or some other wild beast getting their claws in her fluffy middle, but to keep her caged up would be inhumane.  She loves being in the woods, much like myself.  Sometimes it’s hard to let go without hovering or controlling, but it’s a part of life.

Scooby hanging out in Parker’s Dam. Ever since the tumor was removed from his chin, he looks 10 years younger! He got a facelift. 5/18/13

And so my story begins, at 4:00 am on Saturday morning.  The time dad felt was the appropriate hour to get everyone up to go fishing.  Yes, it was still pitch black and for some reason he wanted us to have our hooks baited before we drove down the road, maybe a half a mile to our fishing site.  All the while we were getting ready, Storm got out of the camper and was running around, jumping and leaping for joy.  She was like Houdini.

As we started fishing and getting our bearing straight, basically rubbing the sleepers out of our eyes and realizing we are dealing with little hooks attached to our four pound fishing line, something changed.  As I looked around, the sun rose over the misty still water, and as I was standing in the crisp morning air, life seemed peaceful.  It felt as if God Himself was squeezing my shoulder as if to say, ‘Things will be fine, all is in My hands.’  And you know what?  They were, they are and they will always be.  Even more than that, something was changing, was different.

Once dad began pulling a few fish from the undisturbed water, I looked around to see what was so unusual.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  Everything seemed normal, and then the fog lifted and I saw it as plain as an early morning.  Kyle was fishing alone.  It was an interesting observation, a unique sight, a bittersweet moment.  Don’t get me wrong, I was happy he went off on his own, yet felt a ting of pain for such a shift in the normal.

Kyle & dad fishing at Parker’s Dam. They both are fishing machines! 5/18/13

At Parker Dam where we fished, there are two different lakes if you will.  They are actually one connected by a tunnel under the road that separates them.  The same fish move between the two areas.  All along, dad who is really the only real fishermen between us, commented periodically to move around if we weren’t catching anything.  As he’s always done.  At first dad always tells us what bait to use and where to stand, only because he wants us to be as successful as possible.  Nothing makes dad happier than to have us out fish, or out hunt him.  However, dad is always open to our judgement calls, sometimes.  This time I was in a little bit of shock.  Kyle was sitting on the bank, of the opposite lake to me and dad, all by himself.  I never even noticed the change, even though I should have because up until that point, Kyle was talking nonstop and that sudden silence should have tipped me off of the break in the ordinary.  He was quiet.  Just sitting there fishing, I think enjoying the moment.  At least for that moment.

As I watched Kyle fish with his back toward me, all that popped in my head was the movie A River Runs Through It, when the Brad Pitt character, Paul went off fly fishing on his own for the first time to find his own rhythm.  And then I thought, ‘Boy he’s growing up!’  I must say, I am honored to be there for Kyle’s next step in life.  After all, I was honored having the 0pportunity of being there when he first rolled over, first pulled himself up, first learned to walk, his first words.  Heck I even took him to get his first hair cut, and now his first big movement towards independence.  Yes bittersweet!  It’s funny, at that moment I also realized the dad in the movie, out fished his sons, just like dad always does with us.

Kyle just had to bring his new Lego’s camping & fishing in Parker Dam. I guess you can never take the Lego out of the boy. 5/18/13

Me, dad and Kyle had a great morning fishing.  However, after a few fish under his belt, Kyle decided he wanted to head back to camp.  What?  By himself?  Yes, he started walking toward our camp solo.  Dad and I both looked at each other as he crested the top of the hill, past the water, out of our site.  In fact, we were both taking bets if he would change his mind and just turn around to come back, or if he was going to complete his journey.  Keep in mind, there were boxes of Lego’s awaiting him.  So I’m sure that was his driving force.  Apparently, he made it to the rangers office, which was about the halfway point.  He said he couldn’t remember his way back so he call my mom to come and pick him up.  That surprises me because Kyle has a great sense of direction, much like my parents and not like me and Nicole.  But he did, and mom came and life was all good while dad and I continued fishing.

After we were done, we drove to a more remote part of the water running into a creek to clean the fish.  Dad and I scaled and gutted the catch of the day.  It was another moment that I couldn’t help think, this is what dad used to do with Ryan all the time.  I was even using Ryan’s knife.  It was a great day, and for most people, it was just about to start.

Now to lighten the mood, funny story.  When we got back mom was extremely eager to share a story with us.  She was already laughing so hard, she could barely tell it.  Intrigued, I gave her center stage and my fullest attention.  Apparently, when we left at the crack of dawn, mom and the boys went back to bed.  Go figure. (sarcasm)  Mom said all of a sudden her sleeping bag was pulled off of her and she felt the camper shake and lean to one side.  For the record we have a little pop up type of camper with the fold out sides.  She said the camper all of a sudden leaned to one side, she heard a thud and it bounced back.  Thinking it was us, coming back early and screwing with her, she popped her head up and looked around.  Then she noticed Scooby was no longer beside her.  She got up to find Scooby at the door, and as she opened it he ran and jumped in the opposite bed.  She figured that he was so sound asleep, he somehow rolled out of the side of the camper.  The area where the fabric is only pulled down over the foldout bed.  I’m guessing the slippery sleeping bag helped his escape.  He seemed fine, but he could have seriously injured himself.  But don’t let that stop us from laugh historically.  We are still cracking up over that story!

We had a great weekend of fishing, sitting by the campfire, walking the dogs, bike riding and hiking through the woods.  On one of our adventures via bicycle, Kyle and I were riding through the camp site to get down to a dirt road we found the day prior.  Kyle rode up beside me and started singing Jingle Bells!  I actually almost ran my bike off the side of the road from both, laughter and from shock at his choice in music.  Actually from any choice in music, since he doesn’t like exercise.  He was really enjoying himself!  That kid cracks me up!  One minute he’s showing his independence and the next he is still the small little man sitting in the backseat of my car, in his car seat singing Jingle Bells.  He never ceases to amaze me.

Mom & dad hanging by the fire playing with the boys. Seven (black Lab) & Scooby (Blond Lab) Parker’s Dam 5/18/13

Then, he turns around and completely surprises me again!  Saturday night, we took turns watching the dogs and walking down to the showers.  Roughing it I know!  But when there’s a shower available, we’re all about it, especially after baiting hooks with maggots, wax worms, fish eggs and such.  As I staying at the campsite with the Seven, Scooby and Storm, through the black of the late evening, Kyle walked back.  Alone?  Solo?  Without fear?  Being in a little bit of shock, I said, “Kyle?”  just to confirm that it was indeed Kyle I was looking at.  He confirmed my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me and then my next question, “What’s wrong?  Where’s Gigi and Pappy?”  He said they were still at the showers and he wanted to head back.  What?  Kyle walk in the dark by himself?  Granted it wasn’t that far away, maybe 200 feet if that.  Again, that kid never ceases to surprise me!

Then to make me question if this was indeed my nephew and not an alien taking over his body, Kyle said, “Go ahead Aunt Heather, go shower, I’ll watch the dogs.”  What?  Is this Kyle?  Kyle Piper?  He was volunteering to sit in the dark, by himself (with the dogs and cat), with spotty cell phone service and wait for us to return?  Where did my little man go?

A little confused I made sure he was alright with the scenario and I headed to the showers, where I ran into mom.  A little confused, as was I a few minutes earlier, she asked me where Kyle was, and who was watching the dogs?  I explained the story.  Mom basically just said, “Ok?”  She hurried herself along with dad, as to not leave him alone for too long.  Of course, if anyone would mess with Kyle, Scooby would probably tear the perpetrators face off, but no need to take unnecessary chances.

My cousin Heather cutting Kyle’s hair for the first time, while I hold him. He was afraid of haircuts for a long time! 2002

The next morning we got a little late start leaving around 5:30 am.  We are such slackers! (sarcasm)  We fished a little again in the perfect morning peace that we experienced the day before.  Not staying too long, since the fish really weren’t biting, we started to head back to camp.  Dad did stop along the creek to try his hand at the water hole just below us off of the bridge.  Once dad almost snagged himself another fish, Kyle was all about getting out his pole again.  Please keep in mind all I caught the entire weekend were a few, two and three inch blue gills.  The four inch sunfish was my prize. (sarcasm)   Kyle did manage to feed us a few trout along with dad’s catch for dinner on Saturday night.  Also no contribution from me, which humored Kyle to no end.

After casting our lines a few unsuccessful times, we headed back for breakfast.  Dad had some pretzels in the truck, which we were both nibbling on like starving fish ready to be snagged by a hook.  Just then Kyle turned to dad and said, “Your eating after you baited your hook?  That’s disgusting!”  I died!  That was such a sincere statement and too funny!  Dad just looked down at his fingers, then licked them and put his had back in the bag for more.  Yep, typical dad.  He is a true woodsman, never getting grossed out by anything and never getting sick by such acts.  Of course I was doing the same thing, and it didn’t bother me either.

Kyle is growing up before our eyes.  It’s always been happening, but sometimes there are moments that really stand out.  That weekend had many of them.  I wish my sister was there, even though she always is, even through spotty cell coverage and through stories and pictures and videos.

Apparently we are going back again, this time with the entire family.  I sincerely can’t wait!  Maybe I’ll catch a fish worthy of eating.

It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.  ~Mother Teresa

This post is dedicated to my cousin Chad Scanlon.  In loving memory of Chad, September 4, 1994 – May 25, 2007.

Chad Delier Scanlon, what a great inspiration!

This is a follow up to the Life’s Not Fair blog post.  After I wrote it, a certain someone came to mind, my cousin Chad.  He passed away on Memorial Day from a brain tumor, on May 25, 2007.  He was just 12 years old, about Kyle’s age.

Is that fair he didn’t have a chance to live his life?  Is it fair the family had to accept such an ordeal with the fight of cancer or worse, to loose a child?  Nope, but again it’s part of God’s ultimate plan I guess, even if we don’t understand it or really accept it.  So I guess life isn’t so bad when you spill your coffee or hit every red-light.

In all sincerity, I believe Chad lived a full life while he was with us.  How can you not growing up on the ridge?  The Scanlon family is a living testament to the type of person Chad would have turned out to be.  Jimmy, Marie-Paule and Sasha, Chad’s dad, mom and sister respectively, are all down to earth, good hearted folk.

The Scanlon’s and the Delier’s have always held their head high and never pitied themselves, nor did they expect that from anyone.  Nope!  They played the hand that was dealt to them and tried to handle it as best they could, even when Chad was fighting for his life and when he passed on.  Do they miss Chad?  Sure, everyday!  Everyday Chad is thought about, everyday they feel the grief.  Just like anyone who has lost a loved one, especially so young.  But they took this as an opportunity to help others while working through their pain.  They are the strongest of people, those that can move forward, face their grief and use it to help others, to reach out to those who need strength and support.

Chad & Sasha in their pj’s. 12/31/05

As a lasting tribute to Chad, they established the Chad Delier Scanlon Memorial Fund at the Community Foundation of Westmoreland County.  Every year the Scanlon family, and I mean the entire family, organizes the Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing at the Glengarry Golf Course in Latrobe, Pa.

Besides helping the healing process, which I can totally understand and relate to (ie the Aunt Heather blog), they support many of Chad’s activities.  Can you believe Chad was fluent in French, ever since he was able to talk?  Yes!  His mother, Marie-Paule is bilingual, being born and raised in Belgium.  I always thought that was so cool!  Maybe because je parle un peu de Francais.

Me, Jimmy & Marie-Paule Scanlon, Casey Olczak & Sasha Scanlon. The dream team! Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing at Glengarry Golf Course Latrobe. 2010

Chad went to the Holy Trinity Catholic School and he was a member of the church.  He enjoyed hunting and fishing.  What can I say?  All kids born into our family come pre-programmed for the outdoors.  Of course, I couldn’t speak of Chad without mentioning his love of jump rope.  Yes!  He was a member of the High Flyers Jump Rope Team.  In fact, while Chad was going through rehabilitation, he would work some jump rope into his activity.  Can I also mention he had a great attitude and never complained?  Never heard ‘It’s not fair.’

In addition to Chad’s activities, the Scanlon’s, raise money to help families whose own children are undergoing medical crises.  When I say the Scanlon’s, I’m referring to the immediate family and the rest of the family clan along with friends and neighbors.  Like I said, the Scanlon’s are genuinely good caring people.

It’s no secret, there are many more stories like Chad’s, but I’ve never heard anyone say ‘It’s not fair’.

Chad’s High Flyers Jump Rope Team. Sasha is in the back row on the far left & Chad is in the middle back row.

Instead of saying ‘It’s not fair’, do what you can to help.  Years ago, when I read The Book of Chad, I was pleasantly surprised to find out what the local friends and family did to help Chad and his family during Chad’s struggle.  This is amazing to me!  Family and friends got together to finish building Jimmy’s garage.  Yes, while the family was dealing with Chad’s sickness, friend and family finished building a complete structure!  The Scanlon’s came home to find a finished garage at the end of the driveway.  I bet that was an awesome sight!  Maybe it helped to shift their focus, even if it was for just a moment.  I’m sure it made Santa’s little helpers feel good to just pitch-in and do something, and I know Jimmy and Marie-Paule appreciated it beyond words.  Sometimes giving is completely unrelated, yet it means the world to both parties.

Kyle & Casey at the Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing at Glengarry Golf Course, Latrobe. Chad & Kyle share the same godfather!  2010

It’s easier said than done, and not everyone thinks that way or has the drive, motivation, resources or ideas to tackle their tragedy in the same manner, but there is much more to bringing comfort to others.  Instead of saying, ‘It’s not fair’ we should be saying ‘What can I do to help my fellow brother or sister?’

A few years after Ryan passed away, dad was back in the hospital.  Something about his oxygen in his blood being low, or something along those lines.   Naturally, I got a call from mom telling me to meet her in the emergency room.  On a side note, I walked in the room where mom and dad were, and dad was wearing a hospital gown for a shirt and he kept his jeans and boots on!  I almost fell over laughing at the sight!  Mom said he refused to get totally undressed, since they only needed his arms to take his blood pressure and such.  Only my dad!

Anyway, across the room from dad was a little boy, probably Kyle’s age at the time, two or three.  I’m not sure why he was there, but I do know he was sick, again the details were none of my business.  When dad heard about the little tyke, he immediately had my mom go and get the little boy a balloon and a stuffed animal from the hospital gift shop.  I know seeing that kid sick struck a cord with dad.  At that point, Kyle was always in and out of the hospital himself with phenomena, tonsillitis, ear infections, you name it, all respiratory issues.  We had a sick little man on our hands for quite some time.  I did peek my head in the room of the mystery boy, just to give the kid a thumbs up.  He was so happy over his spontaneous gift from an unknown source.  It made all of us smile.  And you know what?  The day was a little bit easier to take.

Chad helping his dad with building the beginning of the garage before he got sick.

Was it fair that Kyle was so sick for so many years or that little boy was in the ER?  No, but we are blessed that Kyle is healthy now.  Like I said, others always have it worse, like Chad’s struggle.  But I will admit those years of emergency room visits, made us all aware of the fears and battles other sick children tackle.  Let’s not forget, it helped Kyle to soften dad’s heart.  So much so, that he reach out his neighbor, literally, across the hallway to give back.  This time in the form of a milliard balloon and a stuffed animal.

You know I do believe Ryan and Chad are hanging out in heaven together, maybe casting their fishing lines side-by-side.  I also believe they are with my pap and Chad’s grandma, my Aunt Helen.  That’s how we are related, my pap and Aunt Helen’s dad were brothers, Jimmy’s grandpa and my grandpa were brothers.  Aunt Helen was another one of those great spirits we were all blessed to know.  Ryan had such a crush on Aunt Helen when he was little.  He used to say she was his girlfriend.  Maybe she’s sitting there too, fishing in the pool of heaven.

Me & Kyle working tickets at the Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing 2010

This year’s golf outing is on Saturday, June 15th at the Glengarry Golf Course in Latrobe, Pa., near Lycippus.  Every year the seats fill up fast, I guess that’s what happens when you come from such a large family.  It is a fun event!  All donations support the Make-A-Wish Foundation to help a child with a life threatening disease receive a wish; the Holy Trinity School in Ligonier; Hunt-of-A-Lifetime to help send a child with a terminal illness on a hunting trip; and Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh Foundation for travel expenses to aid children in getting to Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh for treatment.

Sasha & Chad setting up the train for Christmas

If anyone is interested in volunteering or donating, please let me know.  Or visit the on Facebook.  Show your support for Chad and the family just by hitting ‘Like’.  Some donate in the form of monetary contributions; some sponsor a hole, which we do in memory of Ryan; while others donate their time and some donate baskets and prizes to be raffled off during the golf outing.  It’s a very well organized event that I am blessed to be apart of every year.

I do want to give a special shout out to the Glengarry Golf Course.  They have been exceptional to work with and they have treated us wonderfully.  Besides going out of their way to make sure the day runs smooth, not that Jimmy and Marie-Paule need any assistance, but they are easy to work with and they genuinely want the day to be successful.

To really learn the full story of Chad’s brain tumor, the struggles and obstacles he and his family faced, purchase The Book of Chad.  It couldn’t be more straightforward and spot on and educational.

I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.  ~Mother Teresa

Life’s Not Fair… sometimes you get a bloody lip from your walking stick. Kyle & Nick were acting like Jedi Masters…my little Yoda 2013

“That’s not fair!” has been exclaimed from Kyle’s mouth time and time again.  In fact, I heard it proclaimed this past weekend at the fishing derby Gone Fishing!.  “Why is everyone else getting fish?  That’s not fair!  Why am I the only one?”  and on and on.  It’s fishing, no one ever in the history of the world said that every fisherman was suppose to catch the same amount of fish, let alone at the same time, all being the same size.  It’s called life!

I know, I’m guilty of muttering those words too, for various reasons, mostly from my youth.  Being an adult, I really don’t care to keep tallies and to track fairness.  I realized long ago, everyone has their cross to bear and what may seem unfair, is ultimately in the hands of the Almighty One.

Is life suppose to be fair?  It was never promised, by anyone at any time, not even in the bible.  Yes, it’s true it talks about being fair and just to others but that is instructed of us, the ones with free will who sometimes stray from what’s right.  Even with dictatorship rulings and socialist countries, everything is seriously not fair.  There are always going to be those born into wealth or have status and opportunities that others don’t.  Some are more intelligent and have great ideas etc.

Dodge Ball, sometimes you win… sometimes you loose… sometimes you get smacked in the face. Kyle did twice! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Two Friday’s ago Kyle lost his molar.  Yep, poor kid will be going into the seventh grade and is still loosing baby teeth.  Maturity is not a strong trait in the Piper family.  Anyway, we went to see Iron Man 3, which was great!  He always has to get popcorn, except this missing tooth threw a monkey wrench in his behavior.  He said, “O man, now I can’t have popcorn with the movie!  Not with my sore gum.  That’s not fair.”  My parents said, “Just eat to one side.”  He wouldn’t hear of it.  That’s not the way you are suppose to eat, and he would not do it.

On a side note, Kyle is a bit of a weakling, putting it mildly, when it comes to any sort of physical pain.  No matter how minor.

As we drove to the movie theater, he commented again on how that wasn’t fair.  Really?  With all the poverty, starvation and lack of proper nutrition in the world and him not eating popcorn for a movie on opening night is not fair?  Someone needs to reevaluate his position.  Better yet, let good old Aunt Heather put it in perspective.  Keep in mind, this whole conversation was based on the fact he couldn’t eat popcorn!  He could very well eat the snack, he just needed to adjust his chewing.  That too ticked me off.  Before the whining could begin, and before I seriously lost my temper, I go into one of my rants of how children are starving and don’t have the opportunity to go to the movies, especially on opening night.  Kyle quickly dropped it, only because he didn’t want to listen to my ‘Everyone has it worse’ dissertation.  I stopped because I didn’t want to hear his ‘Poor me’ arguments.

Kyle at the Friday night showing of Iron Man 3, we are big fans! 5/3/13

That got me thinking, life just isn’t fair.  And I’m grateful for that!  God made each and everyone of us unique in our way.  Every person has strengths and weaknesses, which means there will never be complete “fairness”.  He made us that way on purpose so we rely on each other to exist, to socialize, to be his children, his family.

Let’s discuss physical traits that can and cannot be helped.  Some people are short, some are tall, fat, skinny, fair skinned, dark skinned, and the list goes on and on.  Some may say, that’s not fair she has prettier eyes or a better smile than I have.  Those, ‘That’s not fair’ comments is what makes us all unique and different.  It brings variety to life.

Since the physical traits are all different, doesn’t the same principal go for all other aspects of life?  Example time.   Does everyone need to have the same amount of money as their neighbor?  I don’t think so.  I love the fact that I always worked, and worked hard for what I have, never accepting hand outs.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve received assistance in one form or another, but isn’t that what life’s about?  Helping our neighbor when they’ve earned it or in time of need?  I also don’t believe a ‘time of need’ is every minute of every day.  Sometimes you have to stand on your own two feet and pave your own path.  After all, how can you feel a sense of accomplishment, a sense of purpose, a sense of giving, when you are always taking?

Since everyone is different, and to the best of my knowledge that is a very true statement, wouldn’t each person treat all situations differently?  Maybe some people need to be driven or they can never accomplish anything or learn.  You always respect and appreciate the rags to riches story.  The person who came from nothing and made a better life for themselves.  Maybe that person needed to be put in a poor scenario to establish drive and motivation.  If that was taken away because of even distribution of wealth, then how would that life have ended?  Also wouldn’t the starting out in humble beginnings allows one to appreciate the flip side of life?  It may or may not instill a humility, but the option is now there,  as well as all the other lessons of life.

Sometimes you get the toy you want… sometimes you give your turn up to another kid with only 1 prize. Way to go Kyle! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

That’s what drives and motivates me, knowing I can reach a goal and be rewarded for it.  When I see a challenge I want to tackle it, taking it on ten fold.  If I have a goal to reach, I will work myself silly trying to reach it.  However, if I was just handed “things” and never felt the sense of pride or contribution, then I would not respect the handout as much, if at all.  I would never want to strive for what I think is better.  Worse, if what I worked for was taken from me, not by my choice, and given to someone else.  How would my actions change?

Sometimes lessons of life do not create a fairytale ending.  Sometimes they are just horrible and tragic.  But doesn’t that give us the opportunity to turn such darkness into light?  It’s not fair my brother died so young and sudden, for no apparent reason except God said it was his time.  It’s not fair that my nephew will never know his dad or grow up without a father.  Our family has made the most out of the cards we were dealt.  We never walk around saying, “It’s not fair.”  Never!  Instead, we’ve all stepped up our game, as with other friends and family.  I’ve been blessed to witness and be apart of such acts of kindness and sincerity over the years from others.  Sometimes it was just a pat on the back or words of encouragement and sometimes it came in the form of action and activity.  Even a simple invite or inclusion into an activity makes a world of difference.  I’m blessed in my life, and no it’s not fair but I’m fine with that.

I made Kyle pose in the Monster’s Inc. display before we saw Iron Man 3. I was cracking up! 5/3/13

This is a bit silly and simplistic, but I think it’s just the story to put my thoughts into plain English, common sense.  My cat, Storm believes she is one of the dogs, our Labradors.  She want’s to do everything they do, including taking hikes through the woods.  Alas, this would not be safe for her if she ever wondered off while we were hiking, or worse, adventured off on her own at night.  She meows at the door and angrily flips her tail to show her disdain for the situation.  It’s just not fair.  Nope, it’s not but it’s the way it is.  Storm is allowed to do things the dogs can’t, like being on the furniture and she gets to take more car rides than the dogs and so on and so forth.  The dogs get to take hikes but get more attention than the cat.  I understand I am making a rather feeble attempt at an Aesop’s Fable (I have no idea if there is one similar to this story) but certainly worth the calories burnt to ponder the simple thought.

Instead of focusing on “Life’s not fair”, shouldn’t we be exclaiming the obvious question?  ‘What can I do to help my fellow brother or sister?’

My CCD teacher told us this story and I always come back to it.  Forgive me for butchering it, but the lesson is the same.  He was in a very poverty stricken area, I can’t remember where, maybe South America doing missionary work.  He told us of this small child who was bouncing a ball.  Just playing with this rubber ball up a dirt road, which overlooked a very steep bank filled with garbage, sewage and rats.  As the child was self entertained, the ball happened to hit a rock sideways and was projected out of control.  Yep, you guessed it, the fun bouncing ball made a direct course of action for the filth down in the ravine.  Lost forever!  Did the child whine or cry?  Nope!  The young person, wearing only rags, continued on their route toward their straw hut with a dirt floor.  That was the only toy the child had, and now there was no more.

Sometimes you win the race & sometimes you take it slow and enjoy the sights & conversations! Me & Holly at the Great Race 2012

My teacher was actually on the way to visit the family, helping with the child’s sick sibling.  That’s how he knew the living conditions.  What my teacher witnessed made an impact on me.  I can’t even imagine the thoughts that would have erupted, if I witnessed this story first hand.  Is it fair that some live in extreme poverty?  Nope but that’s why we are called to reach out with what resources we have, to make a difference.

Mother Teresa is a perfect example of that.  She wanted to make a difference.  She never said, “It’s not fair” that no one is helping me with the sick, or no one is giving me money.  Nope, she took the resources she had and made a difference.  Is it fair that she had such a strong relationship with God and I’m not that tight with him?  If I want that, then I need to work for it.  God gave us plenty of opportunities to establish and build that relationship.  Each one of us have a different purpose in life and are called for specific reasons.

So really, maybe ‘Life isn’t fair’ should be tied directly to respect?  If we truly respect one another and respected all the things we have, then we wouldn’t be saying ‘Life isn’t fair’.  We would be more willing to lend a helping hand or give generously.

If a friend bought me something, more often then not I would take extra special care of it.  However, if I was given the same gift without a face or a reason behind the charity, then it would loose some of its value and not be treated with equal importance.  Charity and giving is all about the intent.  Not the notoriety and certainly not for selfish reasons.

It’s our job to help our brothers and sisters far and wide.  To help, from one person to another.  That’s what really makes the impact.  Not being forced to give my money in the form of taxes or some other undercover way, even if it is to assist those in need.  Yes, helping others is the end game, but the road traveled to get there is equally as important.  Giving, should be benefiting both parties involved, those that gave and those that received.  Naturally, the rewards are very different, yet equally as important.

So I guess, when I see that something “is not fair”, that really means, there’s an opportunity there to make a difference.

Each time you step off your path and give someone an act of kindness…then your road to happiness just to a little smoother.  ~Donna A. Favors

Marty, Jenny & Jimmy Singer beating the rain at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

This past weekend, yes Mother’s Day weekend, was the 24th Annual Louise Planinsek Fishing Derby.  This much anticipated event, is talked about and prepared for all year long.  It’s one of those activities that is automatically added to the calendar and you plan around, taking priority over everything else.

On a side note, happy late Mother’s Day to all those mother’s, guardians, role models, and anyone who has nurtured, raised and helped make a difference in the life of a child.

Kyle trying to crack a smile at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Friday night, me, mom and Kyle headed up to the Fishing Derby with our covered dishes.  I made brownies and Kyle requested my pasta salad.  We sat around the bonfire eating, drinking and chit chatting with everyone.  Some individuals I see every week in church, and some I see once a year.  Regardless, it’s always a good time with a great group of friends and family.

At this time, we usually pitch the tent, set up our camping gear and get out our fishing stuff.  However, this year I did not brave the rain and thunder storms.  I wimped out and broke the news to Kyle that we were going to be sleeping in our warm beds, under the protection of the roof.  He didn’t seem very thrilled with arrangement, but when he saw most others had the same idea, he reluctantly went along with the game plan.  Originally, Casey and his family invited Kyle to stay in their tent.  But with the threat of high winds, severe rains and thunder and lightening, camping indoors became the trend.  I can handle camping out when it’s cold and such, but when the skies are screaming and barreling in like a freight train, and the electricity is turning night into day, camping under trees on the ground is not not my cup of tea.  Although, Beth Planinsek informed me that everyone is instructed to camp out for the 25th Anniversary Fishing Derby next year.  For a special occasion like that one, I’m game and I’m sure Kyle won’t complain.

Dave (Boo) Planinsek, Shaun Rodgers, Jimmy Singer at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

The kids ran around playing dodge ball until it got dark, then they started playing tag.  Kyle came up to me and said, “Boy Aunt Heather, it gets hard to play tag in the dark, especially when I don’t have my glasses on.  Sometimes you have to tag someone even if you’re really not sure if they are playing or not.”  I laughed at that statement thinking, ‘Wonder who he tagged that wasn’t playing?’  I love seeing Kyle running around, playing with other kids, and I mean playing hard.  Abandoning all electronic devices and games and running in the mud and dirt with a game of old fashion tag.  That is what being a kid is all about!

Kyle finally caught a sun fish. Pappy is always on hand to help. Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Bob Dowler, longtime neighbor of the Planinsek’s, (his parents owned Sugarbush restaurant) made the popcorn in the big iron kettle on the fire.  The best popcorn ever!  Kyle assisted him in years past, but this year he was burning off a year’s worth of energy.  Eddie who was seated by mom administered the bag and Lori managed the salt.  They cracked me up!  That family is too much!

Before long, mom and I wanted to call it a night, yet we didn’t want to put a damper on Kyle’s fun, so I took mom home and had Kyle call me when he was ready.   Sure enough, as soon as I got home, which was only a five minute drive, Kyle called and said he was ready.  So back up over the ridge I drove, to pick up my little package.  Not that I mind at all.  He was getting out in the fresh air and hanging with a good bunch of kids.

Jimmy, Nina & Lisa hanging out at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

While winding down for the evening, Kyle instructed us that we, were to be up at 6:00 am, allowing us enough time to get ready and be back at the Planinsek Pavilion when breakfast was served at 7:00 am.  No worries, we are all morning people and usually I get up between 5:00 am and 6:00 am every day, anyway.  The hardest part of the evening was getting my “cruddy” nephew into the shower before he fell asleep in front of the fireplace.

Kyle pouting while Olivia looks on. Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Reluctantly, Kyle got up a little after 6:00 am, with some assistance from my dad and the dogs.  He was tried!  All the cool air and running around really knocked him down, in a good way.  Slowly but surely, we packed up the car and headed to our all day destination.  Mom and dad, who were really slow moving, met us later.

Earlier in the week, dad purchased Kyle’s bait so once we packed up the car we were good to go.  Before departing, Dad gave Kyle direction where to set up his fishing spot, to the left of the pond.  We were ready!

Once 8:00 am rolled around, all the activity from the night before resumed, kids buzzing around, adults gabbing and shooting the breeze, people eating and setting up their fishing spots.    Love the Fishing Derby!

Casey holding son Owen Olczak. Dave (Boo) in the background at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

The Derby officially starts at 9:00 am.  As part of the announcements, they gave a moment of silence to Robert Scavnicky, “Bobby”.  He pass away on December 15, 2012 at the age of 60.  They gave a very nice heartfelt account of Bobby’s life and his contributions to the Fishing Derby.  Being a member of Sacred Heart Church, and living on the Planinsek ridge, I knew Bobby.  Mostly in passing and to see him at the Fishing Derby and other local events.  He was always a truly nice guy.  That’s what I can sincerely say, he was a nice guy, very warming and welcoming and laid back.  Mom and dad knew him well and have always talked highly of him.  I can see why.  In fact, technically Bobby was my mom’s step brother, if you will.  His mom was married to my grandpap Chester for a brief period of time before he passed away in 1980.

Kids are braving the rain to catch their trophy rainbow trout! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Bobby’s sister Michele was part of the attendance.  At one point, Michele and mom were talking and mom commented that Michele used to babysit me when I was little.  Michele said with conviction, “O I remember this one, I don’t really remember the other ones but I remember Heather!”  Yikes!  Was I that bad?  Michele said I would cry a lot and I never wanted to be separated from my mommy.  That’s too funny, I was a mommy’s girl!   Mom said it wasn’t until about second grade did I become independent and I remained that way since.  I guess the big bad scary world was a bit too much for me to handle at first, until I got used to it.

While I’m still on the subject of Bobby, Friday night while sitting around the campfire, Mick, mom and me were shooting the breeze and we started talking about dates of those who have passed.  Fun topic of conversation I know, but it is what it is.  Lori interjected with dates that no one could remember.  Boy she is good!  We talked about my Uncle Walter and Aunt Mary Olczak, Casey’s grandparents, who passed in 1993 and 2002 respectively.  My Aunt Mary was a Planinsek, so that’s another branch of the tree that intertwines the Planinsek’s through marriage.

Ryan Hiles accepting his trophy from Dave Planinsek, for the largest rainbow trout at the Planinsek Fishing Derby Congratulations! 5/11/13

Naturally, Ryan always comes up in these conversations.  He passed away on October 23, 2001, being 24 years-old.  Mom commented to Mick that Nicholas, Bobby’s son, came to Ryan’s burial and stopped up at the house to help unload food and such, wanting to help out.  Really?  You know, sometimes I think I completely stepped out during that time, because there was a lot that happened and a ton of people around that I truly don’t remember.  Mom said he came down to the house right after we left the cemetery.  Sincerely, I have absolutely no recollection of him being there.  Still, I am grateful for the support!  Little acts of caring and sincerity can really make an impact on a person, even nearly 12 years later.  Thanks Nicholas!  I guess Bobby was able to instill some good attributes in his kid.

Now, getting back to the announcements.  Just before reviewing the rules of the fishing derby, it started to rain.  They blew the bugle and then it was a downpour.  In all honesty, I thought all the kids were going to take off for shelter and skip the fishing.  Nope!  These are tough ridgers!  All the kids stood in the rain, along side their parents, friends and relatives fishing.  It went on for a few hours because before I noticed it, it was around noon!  The rain was cold and continued off and on for most of the morning.  No one really cared how muddy they were getting, or how wet.  They were catching fish and having fun!

Casey’s family fished to our right including Grant and Olivia.  Little baby Owen was nearly a year old, so maybe next year little Olczak can participate.

I handed dad my umbrella. The pink polka dots really make it! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Dad mostly helped Kyle, who as tradition dictates was difficult at first.  He keeps making excuses for not casting right, and not catching anything and on and on and on.  At one point, I thought dad might throw Kyle in the pond.  Not literally, but he was pushing our buttons.  Saying Kyle was being difficult is me being nice.  His attitude was out of control, he needs to listen to what he’s being told and not assume he knows everything.  Plus he needs to be patient!  He has to realize that every time you cast your line in the water, you might not get a fish.  Apparently Kyle didn’t get the memo but I’m here to say, that’s part of the sport!

A little while later, Lisa Singer or her Sister Nina Enfinger came up to me to check in and shoot the breeze.  She said, “It would be nice if Kyle won.”  What a sweet comment, after all, almost all of the kids present, were her nieces, nephews and cousins.  To be concerned for Kyle was way too nice!   I turned to her and said, “I don’t, not with the way he’s acting.”  She understood where I was coming from, no judgement placed!  I certainly want Kyle to do good and win, but I don’t want him to be rewarded for acting like a spoiled brat.

Eventually, Kyle did manage to catch a small sun fish.  He was more thrilled that he was no longer in the category of ‘not catching anything’, over actually catching the fish, even if the fish was not impressive, not even good enough for the frying pan.  I’m was just happy he was happy.

I will admit, later after dad had enough of Kyle’s complaining and attitude, and once we took a lunch break, Kyle tried his had at fishing again.  This time he was like a different person.  He was being good, listening and fishing better.  His casting was getting pretty good, his patience was stabilizing and his attitude was now sportsmanlike.  Maybe it had something to do with me telling him, his pappy left because he was fed up with his behavior.  Kyle was in shock.  It never occurred to him that dad wasn’t going to listen to him all day.  Maybe that’s what he needed to straighten him up.

The day moved along as it always does with a lot of food, drinks and conversation.  In order to cover all costs, ensuring the Fishing Derby continues year after year, they raffle off prizes and such.  I won a ceramic 2013 Planinsek Fishing Derby mug, which I realized as I was writing this blog that I left it there.  Note to self, I will need to try and retrieve it!

Kids are anxiously waiting for their names to be drawn to pick a prize! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

There is a 50/50 raffle and the day doesn’t come to an end until the children’s raffle.  Throughout the day, parents and kids alike put a ticket in for a kid with their name on it.  All the prizes are on display.  Once a name is called, the child claims their prize until all the toys and such are gone or all the tickets have been drawn.

During this time, I will shout of my pride in Kyle.  With all that went on during first part of the day, Kyle really redeemed himself.  Without me saying anything and only noticing through observation, Kyle began to pick out toys for Grant.  He wanted to get him prizes that he would like.  Kyle even told Grant to go to the table and pick something out, on Kyle’s turn.  I stood there off to the side, unbeknownst to Kyle and watched the giving pour forth from my little man!   Boy that kid can act like an ungrateful spoiled child one minute, and a sincerely giving little man the next!  Maybe he is listening to us after all.

The rain couldn’t deter these fisherman from their trophy rainbow trout! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Then to really steal my heart, as his name was called yet again, Kyle looked around and gave his turn to one of the Enfinger kids because at that point the little boy only had one prize.  What?  Love was just overflowing from my heart toward Kyle’s small actions.  As I’ve always told Kyle, it’s the thought and the intent that really count!  Personally, I was just impressed that he thanked Casey for putting in more tickets on his behalf.

Then, the acts of kindness don’t just stop there, he picked up this kitchen utensil, brought it to me and said, “This is for Gigi”.  What a sweetheart!  He also assigned a few prizes for others, beside himself.  That’s what being part of a family is about.  That’s also what good sportsmanship and being a good person means!

The day was a success!  This year the new record came in the form of a brother and sister team.  Ryan Hiles caught a 23 inch rainbow trout and his sister Jenny, who was fishing right beside Kyle, caught a 12 and three quarters inch large mouth bass.  Great job guys!  Can’t wait for next year!  The 25th Annual Louise Planinsek Fishing Derby!

Read about last years Fishing Derby Want to Go Fishing? 

A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.  ~Bruce Lee

Casey, holding Kyle & Nicole at Kyle’s Baptism 10/28/01

When Kyle was just a baby, he would throw the typical child temper tantrum.  Nicole used to say “2.2″ every time this happened.  Meaning, Kyle’s attitude would change from pleasant little boy to screaming little demon in about 2.2 seconds, literally.  It was actually hilarious.  Kyle would be a happy baby one minute, then he would get this wrinkle between the eyebrows just before the tears flowed.  2.2!  This behavior didn’t last very long, usually, nor did it happen frequently.  But enough to notice the signs and recognize the storm brewing.  Of course, it was a very short window of detection, if at all.  Then again, sometimes I provoked the winds to start brewing.

Certainly, once the tantrums started, I couldn’t help but antagonize the clearly upset child.  Not so much when he was an infant, but definitely by the time he was able to walk.  Then, there were those other occasions, when I would nudge his behavior just to get a rise out of him.  Not to be mean.  No!  I was teaching Kyle valuable life lessons, early.  Sort of.

Example time!  I know, I’ve talked about this before, but it warrants another pass.  Kyle loved his matchbox cars.  Yes, he would drive them around but mostly he would line them up on the coffee table, very precisely bumper to bumper, trunk to hood.  He did this in long perfect, well thought out rows, until the entire coffee table was covered in cars.  It was quite amazing watching him spend all that time creating a used car parking lot.  Every now and again, just to throw him off his game, I wait for him to turn around to retrieve another car to add, and my foot would happen to tip the coffee table over so all the cars rolled off.  Now it’s not as bad as it sounds.  Yes it was hilarious, especially the first time when he was in utter shock and didn’t understand what had happened.  Then he got wise to me.  2.2!

On a side note, what was the life lesson for tormenting the child?  I wanted him to get used to things disrupting his perfection, his obsessive compulsive behavior.  I wanted him to be able to handle things not going his way, and throwing a monkey wrench in his system so he would learn to adjust.  Did it work?  Yes and no.  I’ll talk about that one day.

Nicole holding our bottle lover while I took a picture at Chad’s wedding

It would be completely inaccurate to say that most tantrums were not caused by me, or involved me to some degree.  But I will admit, they were not all started because of my antagonistic personality.  Kyle played a role and lent a helping hand to bring on the 2.2.  But then again, I may have prolonged the fit of rage, a bit.  Especially when the tantrum involved his bottle!

You see, Kyle loved his bottle, much like myself when I was a baby.  When he would get mad, to show his disdain, he would get up, walk out the front door onto the porch and toss that bottle as hard as he could into the yard.  This was done with a permanent scowl look on his face.  We would all laugh, just because he was too comical.  Seriously!  I would say, “I guess he’s mad” and then Nicole would turn to me and say, “2.2″.  Usually that was my cue to torment a little.  He was way too adorable to pass up and hilarious.  I couldn’t resist!  Always retrieving the discarded milk vessel, I made sure it eventually made its way back to Kyle.  If he was really upset or angry, he would show me, with a glare that could have melted ice, while going back whence he came, and tossing the bottle off the porch returning it to the grassy plain.

What caused such behavior?  Usually, it was due to a misunderstanding between me and Kyle when we were playing.  He wanted me to play a specific way and he misunderstood me for someone to follow his orders.  Hence, I wouldn’t play the way he wanted me to, usually with his cars or Thomas the Tank.  In not bowing down to his direct orders, I was teaching him to play with others, learning to take turns and share in the fun and not being such a bossy little boy.  Actually, let’s get to the heart of the matter.  I was not going to have a two year old tell me how to play cars, I didn’t care where he threw that bottle.

If  there was a second demonstration of his attitude, I would again retrieve the bottle out of the yard and put it up on the mantle where he could see it.  That ticked him off even more, especially when I would act like I was drinking from it.  Ok, that’s a bit of teasing but he needs to learn to deal with all kinds of people and situations throughout life.  I was giving him a head start.  More than not, this action ended with mom and dad yelling at me to stop teasing the baby.  Who was the child and who was the adult?

It was all in good fun and he was just so stinking cute, I couldn’t stop myself.

Kyle wasn’t happy at his Baptism 10/28/01

Luckily, we have gotten past the bottle throwing demonstration and moved into the most annoying, not even slightly cute, world of whining and back talking.  If this was a kingdom, Kyle would rule over it.  Don’t get me wrong, Kyle is a great kid!  He truly and genuinely is, except for that part of him.  It’s a minor part, but it will devour us all if left untreated.

After we participated in the Ropes Course at the Ligonier Camp & Conference Center for Kyle’s youth group, last weekend, dad said he needed our help.  I will admit I was tied too, after all we were there from 9:00 am till around 12:30 pm.  But when there’s chores to be done, we need to get them tackled.  My motto, dive in and get it over with as quickly as we can.  Kyle’s motto?  Whine about it and complain the entire time, and let’s not forget move as slowly as humanly possible.  It was a long morning and the afternoon was going to get longer.

Dad wanted to chop some firewood and stack it.  Ok, not an easy task for Kyle on a normal day, not to mention he was physically tired before we even started.  But he just wouldn’t stop with the attitude and the back talking.  All you hear is “Why do I have to do that?” Whhhhyyyyy?”

Let’s also get this straight, I have no issues with Kyle asking questions and understanding what is being asked of him and why.  But what I can’t handle, is when you give him an answer and he continues asking the same question over and over.  Plus you add in the whining, only for the sole purpose of being irritating.  Now that I can not deal with!  He only asks and asks again because he doesn’t like the answer.  Tough!  Sometimes I believe Kyle thinks he’s going to get his own way if he continues on the same course.  Nope!  Not on my watch.  I’ve always told him ‘I invented stubborn.’

Joel holding Kyle at the Planinsek Pavilion

For part of the day, Kyle was a real treat, especially on the ears.  I truly hate it when he doesn’t appreciate what he has and what he gets.  Would you believe, during his whining and back talking, he had the audacity to ask me to take him to the store to get some of his playing cards?  Seriously?  I don’t know what person in their right mind would do such a thing after his behavior, except Kyle!

Helping to raise Kyle since he was just three months old, I know for a fact, that I, nor my family have ever tolerated such acts, completely spoiled.  Does he genuinely think this tactic is going to work?  Loving Kyle with my whole heart, I can not in good faith allow this to happen.  Yes, that’s my way of saying he got in big trouble. No video games, no computer, nadda and he still had to continue with the work, no matter how slow he was moving.

It’s weird, sometimes, not all of the time, this happens on Friday and Saturday, but by the time Sunday rolls around again, he is back to being a normal child.  Manageable.  Odd. I’ve actually noted this for some time now.

Kyle has been whinnying for years now, and I am at a loss of how to stop it.  Even mom said that none of us have ever whined.  We would have most certainly gotten the belt.  Plus, it really was not in our nature to act like that.  Back talking?  Yes.  I will admit I did participate in that activity when I was younger, but certainly not at Kyle’s age and not to the persistence that he does.  Even then, mom would literally wash my mouth out with soap.  Maybe I should try the bubble method?  Although softy pap pap would probably stop me.

I’m going to have to get crafty and come up with a new method to conquer his madness, before I go mad.  Hopefully this weekend brings a new attitude with our little man.  After all, Iron Man 3 came out today and we both really want to see it.  Plus, we’re ordering Jioio’s Pizza, bonus!!

When I was younger,  had to learn the fundamentals of basketball.  You can have all the physical ability in the world, but you still have to know the fundamentals.  ~Michael Jordan

3rd Place in the 2002 World Haidong Gumdo Championships in South Korea, Pyeong 7/2002

I know we just wrapped up March madness, but I do have a good story related to the season.  Please don’t be mistaken, I don’t watch sports, and yes that includes basketball.  Being a Latrobe graduate, basketball seemed to be the gym class activity of choice.  So I can certainly play b-ball, not well and not with the grace of our professional athletes, but I can dribble while running and shoot hoops.  The basics.  Actually, I find the activity of standing in front of a basketball hoop and shooting over and over again relaxing, not that I do it much.

Did I ever watch a live basketball game?  Yes I have.  When I was in high school, my friend Maggie’s mom took us to watch a basketball game at St. Vincent college.  Granted that’s not the big time, but I did have fun.  In fact, we were sitting in the front row on the bleachers and one of the players tripped, took flight and flew into the air and landed directly in my lap.  Being in high school and never watching a real basketball game before, made that experience all the more exciting!  I truly felt apart of the game and I did my part to assist, even if it was just cushioning a fall, even if I had no choice.

Over the years I was given tickets to basketball games but I was always busy.  Once when I was heading to Boston for a karate tournament, a good friend of mine offered me four tickets to watch two of the big six play or the final four or whatever. (don’t quote me on that, I do remember the season was approaching the end).  I would have actually taken him up on the tickets, except my Haidong Gumdo (sword) competition was taking place the same night and I didn’t want to miss that.  Placing third and being the only junior belt at the time and competing against black belts made that win all the more memorable.  Go me!

Haidong Gumdo (sword) training in South Korea with Master Han with a thousand year old sword. Bamboo Cutting 7/2002

Well, I think I’ve established that I am not a sports person and I pay no attention.  So now the anticipated story.  For a few years in my very early career, I worked as an assistant manager at a clothing store called Aeropostale.  At the time it was owned by Macy’s.  Periodically, we would have sales throughout the store.  Usually the sales and specials were accompanied by gimmicks.  The themes were decorated among the stacks and racks of garments as well as the front window displays.  The one year, corporate sent all the stores large basketball stickers.  We were instructed to stick them on stacks of cloths on the tables and on the displays and write the price of the item.  Simple enough, I can handle that, playing with stickers!  No big deal.  That is until someone questioned me on these themed embellishments sprinkled throughout the store.

Aeropostale was located on the upper level of Westmoreland Mall, where it remains today.  Just as I was walking toward the front of the store, a man was walking past and stopped to look in.  Nothing unusual, it happened all the time.  However, this gentlemen turned toward me and asked what’s with the basketball stickers.  At the same time my sales associate, Tony was within ear shot of me.  Tony was a sports fanatic, especially loving basketball.  He also knew I was not.  At that moment I took it upon myself to show my sports knowledge and answer the passerby-er.

Me cutting straw with a thousand year old sword, Haidong Gumdo (sword) training in South Korea 7/2002

With almost a cocky ‘I can answer that one’ type of attitude I blurted out, “It’s for the NFL!”  Would you believe I didn’t think of what I was saying and nodded my head like, ‘I know what I’m talking about’, when clearly I did not. The man gave me a puzzled look, looked around for another moment and just walked away.  I turned around with a huge grin on my face like I just did something good.  Tony on the other hand was trying so hard to hold in laughter I thought he was going to burst.  His face was all red and he actually needed a minute to compose himself before addressing the conversation he just witnessed.

Tony said, “Heather, the NFL?”  I gave him the world’s biggest smile of sheer pride, being truly proud of myself for knowing the answer and said “Ya March Madness! B-Ball!”  He busted out laughing and said “The NFL?  The National Football League?  You mean NCAA?”  As he was saying it, my self assurance was deflated and I was fully aware of what just unfolded and how stupid the entire conversation was.

We both had a good laugh.  No wonder that man was completely puzzled by my comment.  Personally, I didn’t care I gave him incorrect information and I looked like a knucklehead, because if he was so smart he would have never asked me in the first place.  I guess it just goes to show, watch where you get your information because no matter how confident or adamant a person is with their answer, they could still be one hundred percent wrong!

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.  ~Margaret Thatcher

Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.  ~Margaret Thatcher

Democratic nations must try and find ways to starve the terrorist and the hijacker of the oxygen of publicity on which they depend.  ~Margaret Thatcher

I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work.  That is the recipe.  It will not always get  you to the top, but should get you pretty near.  ~Margaret Thatcher

Yesterday morning, Margaret Hilda (Roberts) Thatcher passed away from a stroke at the age of 87.  As of presently, Thatcher was the only female prime minister in Britain’s history remaining in office for 11 years from 1979 to 1990.  Dubbed the Iron Lady, I believed she was best known for challenging the socialist traditions and leaving behind a lean government, paving the way for London to later be a major player in the global financial market.

Personally I respected her for not being a feminist and simply promoting hard work.  She truly was a testament to that, coming from a humble background being a grocer’s daughter, she worked her way to the Prime Minister position.  Not an easy task, but no one can deny, that through her decisions and basic common sense, she helped pull Britain out of an economic crisis, making the country stronger.

Much like her late friend and political counterpart Ronald Reagan, she wanted to see people flourish and build a better country through free markets, without the interference of a central government.  Don’t get me wrong, government has its place, but not to make daily decisions for people and rule their health, their religious choices and control their livelihood.  Thatcher, much like our former president, would get to the heart of the problem, uncover it and tackle it to the end.  A common sense approach.

What is so commendable is her love for her own country.  I get that.  She was like a momma bear protecting her cubs.  As reported by Fox News:

Thatcher was at her brashest when Britain was challenged. When Argentina’s military junta seized the remote Falklands Islands from Britain in 1982, she did not hesitate even though her senior military advisers said it might not be feasible to reclaim the islands.

She simply would not allow Britain to be pushed around, particularly by military dictators, said Ingham, who recalls the Falklands War as the tensest period of Thatcher’s three terms in power. When diplomacy failed, she dispatched a military task force that accomplished her goal, despite the naysayers.

Margaret Thatcher opened the doors to new opportunities with Mikhail Gorbachev, but more importantly peace in a Soviet era.  Kind of ironic with all the upheaval she caused when breaking up of the unions.  However, looking at it now, necessary for the better future of the people of Britain.

It’s no secret that my dad loved Margaret Thatcher.  Unlike myself, who was just a youngster during her leadership, dad followed her career and saw the results of her decisions.  Dad loved her direct demeanor and headstrong way for standing her ground and for doing what was right.  I personally loved Thatcher’s faith and persistence.  She paved the way for others to follow suit like Tony Blair, who also adopted some of her ideas and methods.

Margaret Thatcher had so many more accomplishments.  I just hope her example for doing what was hard, yet right, be mimicked with other leaders.  Rest in peace!

October 13, 1925 – April 8, 2013