It is rather for us here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to the that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion.  ~Abraham Lincoln

Kyle really helped me arrange & plant the flowers for his dad’s grave. Great Memorial Day tradition. 5/26/13

Yes,  the annual tradition of planting flowers on the headstones of the beloved deceased relatives was this past weekend.  What a nice time to plant delicate color among the rows and rows of inexorable reminders of those who are living elsewhere.  Odd enough, I do enjoy it!  Sometimes it helps to lessen the pain of loss.

Of course, what’s not to love?  Picking out pretty flowers?  Digging in the dirt to plant spring? All while sitting in manicured green grass.  It’s actually quite enjoyable, especially on the ridge where we tend to Ryan’s, pap’s and baby Piper’s graves.  The Bethel Lutheran Cemetery sits on the edge of the woods and overlooks the countryside.  As long as we get an early start on the day, or like this year, go late in the evening when the blazing sun is ready to retire, it makes for a relaxing family activity.

But no matter if it’s early or late in the day, cloudy or sunny, I can be found wearing a hat and smelling heavily of sunscreen, 45+ for babies.  Kyle can test to that, for I coat him in a thick layer as well, to protect and preserve his flawless skin.  Mom, finds a shady spot to plant herself during the activity.  You might say we are sun sensitive people, minus dad.

While continuing tradition, something struck me as kind of funny.  We plant annuals, yes the plants that die once winter comes.  As opposed to perennials, which sprout up every year.  It’s true, years ago I planted bulbs on Ryan’s and pap’s plots so the tulips and daffodils are up once spring arrives, for Easter.  Besides that, the only flowers we plant are annuals.  It’s kind of funny, planting something that will die in a place full of dead people.  Almost reminiscent of their life, starting out as a seed from the ground, grew out of the dirt to grace the world with life and beauty, and then went back to the earth from whence it came.  So maybe the annuals are more appropriate than perennials?  After all, if life was intimating life in my crazy random thought, who wants the dead to come back to life and then die again, to repeat the steps every year?  Aren’t those considered zombies?  Although I can’t lie, I would love to hang out with Ryan again, but I know one day I will.

Continuing our tradition, we planted flowers on Uncle Walter & Aunt Mary’s headstone. Uncle Walter was a merchant marine. Where did his flag go? 5/26/13

So annuals it is!  On another side note, I am well aware our beloved deceased relatives are not truly hanging out in cemeteries.  The headstones are a nice symbol to remind us of who they were and where they are now.  It gives us a place to physically visit their memory.  Plus let’s face it, cemeteries are very peaceful and almost refreshing.

Quick story.  After Scooby, our Lab, had surgery to remove the tumor under his chin, he wasn’t allowed to run in the woods, for fear of ripping the stitches.  The poor dog wanted to go on our daily walks so bad!  To accommodate our pup, I modified the route to include the neighboring cemetery, which is positioned on the side of a small hill. Better exercise for me and for the dogs to run up and down.  The boys run free, with their shock collars strapped to their necks of course, in case of disobedience.  However, they do listen pretty good.

Anyway, as we rounded the bend to enter the cemetery, it dawned on me, ‘What if they have to expel waste?’  Yikes!  I would never want the dogs to crap in front of someone’s plot, nor pee on their headstone!  I watched them run around and you know what?  They used the edge of the woods to do their business.  Amazing!  It’s like the dogs had respect for the dead.  Now if dogs know better, why don’t some humans?  So basically those individuals who vandalize cemeteries are less than dogs?  Sounds about right!

More tradition of planting flowers on Uncle Frank & Aunt Kathryn’s headstone 5/26/13

This year Nicole was home.  We packed up the vehicle and headed out to our first stop, Saint Joseph’s Cemetery, in Derry.  My cousin John usually tends to his parents, but the weather was not cooperating prior to Memorial weekend.  He and his family were on vacation at the Outer Banks.  Lucky devil!  No worries, I needed to visit Uncle Frank and Aunt Kathryn’s anyway.

Then, we headed back to Latrobe to make a big stop at Saint Vincent’s Cemetery.  I really do love that cemetery.  It’s always well kept and sits on the outskirts of the college.  We planted mom’s parents and her grandparents.  We also had the privilege of making a stop by my Uncle Walter and Aunt Mary’s to spread more colorful cheer.  My cousin Paula was not able to get to her parents.  Again, no worries we were in the area and I do love giving back to the family, even though it’s in the form of parking a few flowers.  To give respect for my family living and deceased, in addition to planting flowers, I clean off their headstones and clean up the area to make it nice and presentable.  I believe the graves are an extension from our homes, after all it’s ground that we own, similar to our places of residence.

After a day flower planting traditions, we headed out to the backyard for a campfire. Love mountain pies! Aunt Nikki & Kyle warmed up by the fire. 5/26/13

Next we headed up on the ridge.  Ryan’s takes me a bit longer because I sit and plan out his flowers and I have a little bit bigger area to fill.  This year Kyle really participated.  I mean, in the past he’s always helped me plant and clean up trash and such, but this year he gave his sincerest opinion and assistance.  He told me which flowers he wanted on his dad’s headstone and thought out the arrangement they were to be placed.  Great!  He also really dug in and helped, not just going through the motions, but giving a heartfelt desire to make things nice.  That’s my buddy!

I always enjoy planting flowers and tending to the headstones, but this year was even better!  Kyle and I shared the longing to honor and remember our loved ones.  I hope, one day this tradition takes roots in Kyle, especially after I’m long gone.

Hint:  Petunias are pretty, come in a variety of colors and are hardy.

All there is to thinking is seeing something noticeable which makes you see something you weren’t noticing which makes you see something that isn’t even visible.  ~Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It

Me fishing at Parker’s Dam. These were the only fish I caught… while dad & Kyle reeled in the big ones.  Yes it was very early in the morning!  5/18/13

Kyle amazes me, he really does.  Some days he is still the kid I’ve always known, maybe too much like a kid, and other days, he’s such an independent little man.  It’s really weird to say Kyle is independent.  He’s never really exhibited self-supporting behavior, ever.  Kyle has always been the type of the child that needed someone to join him in doing any activity, even watching TV and sometimes playing.   Sometimes he entertains himself, but he usually likes the social activity.  When he was really little, it was even difficult for him to walk back the hallway without someone by his side.  Nope, independent and Kyle have never been synonymous.  That is until recently.

Two weekends ago my family, including the dogs and my cat, went to Parker Dam for a short weekend get away.  My sister couldn’t make the camping and fishing weekend of fun, but there will be a next time.  Mom and dad got there really early Friday morning.  When I mean early, I mean early.  Mom said dad had her up at 3:00 am to leave early and get a head start on the day.  Not me, I had to pick Kyle up off the bus, before heading out and joining up with the parents, and Seven and Scooby.

Friday night was pretty uneventful, except for Storm.  She worked her way out of her harness, twice, and made a break for the woods.  The night went perfect when she came back unscathed.  In fact, she ran around all weekend, going in and out of the woods along side our campsite.  I was afraid of a coyote or owl or some other wild beast getting their claws in her fluffy middle, but to keep her caged up would be inhumane.  She loves being in the woods, much like myself.  Sometimes it’s hard to let go without hovering or controlling, but it’s a part of life.

Scooby hanging out in Parker’s Dam. Ever since the tumor was removed from his chin, he looks 10 years younger! He got a facelift. 5/18/13

And so my story begins, at 4:00 am on Saturday morning.  The time dad felt was the appropriate hour to get everyone up to go fishing.  Yes, it was still pitch black and for some reason he wanted us to have our hooks baited before we drove down the road, maybe a half a mile to our fishing site.  All the while we were getting ready, Storm got out of the camper and was running around, jumping and leaping for joy.  She was like Houdini.

As we started fishing and getting our bearing straight, basically rubbing the sleepers out of our eyes and realizing we are dealing with little hooks attached to our four pound fishing line, something changed.  As I looked around, the sun rose over the misty still water, and as I was standing in the crisp morning air, life seemed peaceful.  It felt as if God Himself was squeezing my shoulder as if to say, ‘Things will be fine, all is in My hands.’  And you know what?  They were, they are and they will always be.  Even more than that, something was changing, was different.

Once dad began pulling a few fish from the undisturbed water, I looked around to see what was so unusual.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  Everything seemed normal, and then the fog lifted and I saw it as plain as an early morning.  Kyle was fishing alone.  It was an interesting observation, a unique sight, a bittersweet moment.  Don’t get me wrong, I was happy he went off on his own, yet felt a ting of pain for such a shift in the normal.

Kyle & dad fishing at Parker’s Dam. They both are fishing machines! 5/18/13

At Parker Dam where we fished, there are two different lakes if you will.  They are actually one connected by a tunnel under the road that separates them.  The same fish move between the two areas.  All along, dad who is really the only real fishermen between us, commented periodically to move around if we weren’t catching anything.  As he’s always done.  At first dad always tells us what bait to use and where to stand, only because he wants us to be as successful as possible.  Nothing makes dad happier than to have us out fish, or out hunt him.  However, dad is always open to our judgement calls, sometimes.  This time I was in a little bit of shock.  Kyle was sitting on the bank, of the opposite lake to me and dad, all by himself.  I never even noticed the change, even though I should have because up until that point, Kyle was talking nonstop and that sudden silence should have tipped me off of the break in the ordinary.  He was quiet.  Just sitting there fishing, I think enjoying the moment.  At least for that moment.

As I watched Kyle fish with his back toward me, all that popped in my head was the movie A River Runs Through It, when the Brad Pitt character, Paul went off fly fishing on his own for the first time to find his own rhythm.  And then I thought, ‘Boy he’s growing up!’  I must say, I am honored to be there for Kyle’s next step in life.  After all, I was honored having the 0pportunity of being there when he first rolled over, first pulled himself up, first learned to walk, his first words.  Heck I even took him to get his first hair cut, and now his first big movement towards independence.  Yes bittersweet!  It’s funny, at that moment I also realized the dad in the movie, out fished his sons, just like dad always does with us.

Kyle just had to bring his new Lego’s camping & fishing in Parker Dam. I guess you can never take the Lego out of the boy. 5/18/13

Me, dad and Kyle had a great morning fishing.  However, after a few fish under his belt, Kyle decided he wanted to head back to camp.  What?  By himself?  Yes, he started walking toward our camp solo.  Dad and I both looked at each other as he crested the top of the hill, past the water, out of our site.  In fact, we were both taking bets if he would change his mind and just turn around to come back, or if he was going to complete his journey.  Keep in mind, there were boxes of Lego’s awaiting him.  So I’m sure that was his driving force.  Apparently, he made it to the rangers office, which was about the halfway point.  He said he couldn’t remember his way back so he call my mom to come and pick him up.  That surprises me because Kyle has a great sense of direction, much like my parents and not like me and Nicole.  But he did, and mom came and life was all good while dad and I continued fishing.

After we were done, we drove to a more remote part of the water running into a creek to clean the fish.  Dad and I scaled and gutted the catch of the day.  It was another moment that I couldn’t help think, this is what dad used to do with Ryan all the time.  I was even using Ryan’s knife.  It was a great day, and for most people, it was just about to start.

Now to lighten the mood, funny story.  When we got back mom was extremely eager to share a story with us.  She was already laughing so hard, she could barely tell it.  Intrigued, I gave her center stage and my fullest attention.  Apparently, when we left at the crack of dawn, mom and the boys went back to bed.  Go figure. (sarcasm)  Mom said all of a sudden her sleeping bag was pulled off of her and she felt the camper shake and lean to one side.  For the record we have a little pop up type of camper with the fold out sides.  She said the camper all of a sudden leaned to one side, she heard a thud and it bounced back.  Thinking it was us, coming back early and screwing with her, she popped her head up and looked around.  Then she noticed Scooby was no longer beside her.  She got up to find Scooby at the door, and as she opened it he ran and jumped in the opposite bed.  She figured that he was so sound asleep, he somehow rolled out of the side of the camper.  The area where the fabric is only pulled down over the foldout bed.  I’m guessing the slippery sleeping bag helped his escape.  He seemed fine, but he could have seriously injured himself.  But don’t let that stop us from laugh historically.  We are still cracking up over that story!

We had a great weekend of fishing, sitting by the campfire, walking the dogs, bike riding and hiking through the woods.  On one of our adventures via bicycle, Kyle and I were riding through the camp site to get down to a dirt road we found the day prior.  Kyle rode up beside me and started singing Jingle Bells!  I actually almost ran my bike off the side of the road from both, laughter and from shock at his choice in music.  Actually from any choice in music, since he doesn’t like exercise.  He was really enjoying himself!  That kid cracks me up!  One minute he’s showing his independence and the next he is still the small little man sitting in the backseat of my car, in his car seat singing Jingle Bells.  He never ceases to amaze me.

Mom & dad hanging by the fire playing with the boys. Seven (black Lab) & Scooby (Blond Lab) Parker’s Dam 5/18/13

Then, he turns around and completely surprises me again!  Saturday night, we took turns watching the dogs and walking down to the showers.  Roughing it I know!  But when there’s a shower available, we’re all about it, especially after baiting hooks with maggots, wax worms, fish eggs and such.  As I staying at the campsite with the Seven, Scooby and Storm, through the black of the late evening, Kyle walked back.  Alone?  Solo?  Without fear?  Being in a little bit of shock, I said, “Kyle?”  just to confirm that it was indeed Kyle I was looking at.  He confirmed my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me and then my next question, “What’s wrong?  Where’s Gigi and Pappy?”  He said they were still at the showers and he wanted to head back.  What?  Kyle walk in the dark by himself?  Granted it wasn’t that far away, maybe 200 feet if that.  Again, that kid never ceases to surprise me!

Then to make me question if this was indeed my nephew and not an alien taking over his body, Kyle said, “Go ahead Aunt Heather, go shower, I’ll watch the dogs.”  What?  Is this Kyle?  Kyle Piper?  He was volunteering to sit in the dark, by himself (with the dogs and cat), with spotty cell phone service and wait for us to return?  Where did my little man go?

A little confused I made sure he was alright with the scenario and I headed to the showers, where I ran into mom.  A little confused, as was I a few minutes earlier, she asked me where Kyle was, and who was watching the dogs?  I explained the story.  Mom basically just said, “Ok?”  She hurried herself along with dad, as to not leave him alone for too long.  Of course, if anyone would mess with Kyle, Scooby would probably tear the perpetrators face off, but no need to take unnecessary chances.

My cousin Heather cutting Kyle’s hair for the first time, while I hold him. He was afraid of haircuts for a long time! 2002

The next morning we got a little late start leaving around 5:30 am.  We are such slackers! (sarcasm)  We fished a little again in the perfect morning peace that we experienced the day before.  Not staying too long, since the fish really weren’t biting, we started to head back to camp.  Dad did stop along the creek to try his hand at the water hole just below us off of the bridge.  Once dad almost snagged himself another fish, Kyle was all about getting out his pole again.  Please keep in mind all I caught the entire weekend were a few, two and three inch blue gills.  The four inch sunfish was my prize. (sarcasm)   Kyle did manage to feed us a few trout along with dad’s catch for dinner on Saturday night.  Also no contribution from me, which humored Kyle to no end.

After casting our lines a few unsuccessful times, we headed back for breakfast.  Dad had some pretzels in the truck, which we were both nibbling on like starving fish ready to be snagged by a hook.  Just then Kyle turned to dad and said, “Your eating after you baited your hook?  That’s disgusting!”  I died!  That was such a sincere statement and too funny!  Dad just looked down at his fingers, then licked them and put his had back in the bag for more.  Yep, typical dad.  He is a true woodsman, never getting grossed out by anything and never getting sick by such acts.  Of course I was doing the same thing, and it didn’t bother me either.

Kyle is growing up before our eyes.  It’s always been happening, but sometimes there are moments that really stand out.  That weekend had many of them.  I wish my sister was there, even though she always is, even through spotty cell coverage and through stories and pictures and videos.

Apparently we are going back again, this time with the entire family.  I sincerely can’t wait!  Maybe I’ll catch a fish worthy of eating.

It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.  ~Mother Teresa

This post is dedicated to my cousin Chad Scanlon.  In loving memory of Chad, September 4, 1994 – May 25, 2007.

Chad Delier Scanlon, what a great inspiration!

This is a follow up to the Life’s Not Fair blog post.  After I wrote it, a certain someone came to mind, my cousin Chad.  He passed away on Memorial Day from a brain tumor, on May 25, 2007.  He was just 12 years old, about Kyle’s age.

Is that fair he didn’t have a chance to live his life?  Is it fair the family had to accept such an ordeal with the fight of cancer or worse, to loose a child?  Nope, but again it’s part of God’s ultimate plan I guess, even if we don’t understand it or really accept it.  So I guess life isn’t so bad when you spill your coffee or hit every red-light.

In all sincerity, I believe Chad lived a full life while he was with us.  How can you not growing up on the ridge?  The Scanlon family is a living testament to the type of person Chad would have turned out to be.  Jimmy, Marie-Paule and Sasha, Chad’s dad, mom and sister respectively, are all down to earth, good hearted folk.

The Scanlon’s and the Delier’s have always held their head high and never pitied themselves, nor did they expect that from anyone.  Nope!  They played the hand that was dealt to them and tried to handle it as best they could, even when Chad was fighting for his life and when he passed on.  Do they miss Chad?  Sure, everyday!  Everyday Chad is thought about, everyday they feel the grief.  Just like anyone who has lost a loved one, especially so young.  But they took this as an opportunity to help others while working through their pain.  They are the strongest of people, those that can move forward, face their grief and use it to help others, to reach out to those who need strength and support.

Chad & Sasha in their pj’s. 12/31/05

As a lasting tribute to Chad, they established the Chad Delier Scanlon Memorial Fund at the Community Foundation of Westmoreland County.  Every year the Scanlon family, and I mean the entire family, organizes the Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing at the Glengarry Golf Course in Latrobe, Pa.

Besides helping the healing process, which I can totally understand and relate to (ie the Aunt Heather blog), they support many of Chad’s activities.  Can you believe Chad was fluent in French, ever since he was able to talk?  Yes!  His mother, Marie-Paule is bilingual, being born and raised in Belgium.  I always thought that was so cool!  Maybe because je parle un peu de Francais.

Me, Jimmy & Marie-Paule Scanlon, Casey Olczak & Sasha Scanlon. The dream team! Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing at Glengarry Golf Course Latrobe. 2010

Chad went to the Holy Trinity Catholic School and he was a member of the church.  He enjoyed hunting and fishing.  What can I say?  All kids born into our family come pre-programmed for the outdoors.  Of course, I couldn’t speak of Chad without mentioning his love of jump rope.  Yes!  He was a member of the High Flyers Jump Rope Team.  In fact, while Chad was going through rehabilitation, he would work some jump rope into his activity.  Can I also mention he had a great attitude and never complained?  Never heard ‘It’s not fair.’

In addition to Chad’s activities, the Scanlon’s, raise money to help families whose own children are undergoing medical crises.  When I say the Scanlon’s, I’m referring to the immediate family and the rest of the family clan along with friends and neighbors.  Like I said, the Scanlon’s are genuinely good caring people.

It’s no secret, there are many more stories like Chad’s, but I’ve never heard anyone say ‘It’s not fair’.

Chad’s High Flyers Jump Rope Team. Sasha is in the back row on the far left & Chad is in the middle back row.

Instead of saying ‘It’s not fair’, do what you can to help.  Years ago, when I read The Book of Chad, I was pleasantly surprised to find out what the local friends and family did to help Chad and his family during Chad’s struggle.  This is amazing to me!  Family and friends got together to finish building Jimmy’s garage.  Yes, while the family was dealing with Chad’s sickness, friend and family finished building a complete structure!  The Scanlon’s came home to find a finished garage at the end of the driveway.  I bet that was an awesome sight!  Maybe it helped to shift their focus, even if it was for just a moment.  I’m sure it made Santa’s little helpers feel good to just pitch-in and do something, and I know Jimmy and Marie-Paule appreciated it beyond words.  Sometimes giving is completely unrelated, yet it means the world to both parties.

Kyle & Casey at the Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing at Glengarry Golf Course, Latrobe. Chad & Kyle share the same godfather!  2010

It’s easier said than done, and not everyone thinks that way or has the drive, motivation, resources or ideas to tackle their tragedy in the same manner, but there is much more to bringing comfort to others.  Instead of saying, ‘It’s not fair’ we should be saying ‘What can I do to help my fellow brother or sister?’

A few years after Ryan passed away, dad was back in the hospital.  Something about his oxygen in his blood being low, or something along those lines.   Naturally, I got a call from mom telling me to meet her in the emergency room.  On a side note, I walked in the room where mom and dad were, and dad was wearing a hospital gown for a shirt and he kept his jeans and boots on!  I almost fell over laughing at the sight!  Mom said he refused to get totally undressed, since they only needed his arms to take his blood pressure and such.  Only my dad!

Anyway, across the room from dad was a little boy, probably Kyle’s age at the time, two or three.  I’m not sure why he was there, but I do know he was sick, again the details were none of my business.  When dad heard about the little tyke, he immediately had my mom go and get the little boy a balloon and a stuffed animal from the hospital gift shop.  I know seeing that kid sick struck a cord with dad.  At that point, Kyle was always in and out of the hospital himself with phenomena, tonsillitis, ear infections, you name it, all respiratory issues.  We had a sick little man on our hands for quite some time.  I did peek my head in the room of the mystery boy, just to give the kid a thumbs up.  He was so happy over his spontaneous gift from an unknown source.  It made all of us smile.  And you know what?  The day was a little bit easier to take.

Chad helping his dad with building the beginning of the garage before he got sick.

Was it fair that Kyle was so sick for so many years or that little boy was in the ER?  No, but we are blessed that Kyle is healthy now.  Like I said, others always have it worse, like Chad’s struggle.  But I will admit those years of emergency room visits, made us all aware of the fears and battles other sick children tackle.  Let’s not forget, it helped Kyle to soften dad’s heart.  So much so, that he reach out his neighbor, literally, across the hallway to give back.  This time in the form of a milliard balloon and a stuffed animal.

You know I do believe Ryan and Chad are hanging out in heaven together, maybe casting their fishing lines side-by-side.  I also believe they are with my pap and Chad’s grandma, my Aunt Helen.  That’s how we are related, my pap and Aunt Helen’s dad were brothers, Jimmy’s grandpa and my grandpa were brothers.  Aunt Helen was another one of those great spirits we were all blessed to know.  Ryan had such a crush on Aunt Helen when he was little.  He used to say she was his girlfriend.  Maybe she’s sitting there too, fishing in the pool of heaven.

Me & Kyle working tickets at the Chad Delier Scanlon Golf Outing 2010

This year’s golf outing is on Saturday, June 15th at the Glengarry Golf Course in Latrobe, Pa., near Lycippus.  Every year the seats fill up fast, I guess that’s what happens when you come from such a large family.  It is a fun event!  All donations support the Make-A-Wish Foundation to help a child with a life threatening disease receive a wish; the Holy Trinity School in Ligonier; Hunt-of-A-Lifetime to help send a child with a terminal illness on a hunting trip; and Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh Foundation for travel expenses to aid children in getting to Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh for treatment.

Sasha & Chad setting up the train for Christmas

If anyone is interested in volunteering or donating, please let me know.  Or visit the on Facebook.  Show your support for Chad and the family just by hitting ‘Like’.  Some donate in the form of monetary contributions; some sponsor a hole, which we do in memory of Ryan; while others donate their time and some donate baskets and prizes to be raffled off during the golf outing.  It’s a very well organized event that I am blessed to be apart of every year.

I do want to give a special shout out to the Glengarry Golf Course.  They have been exceptional to work with and they have treated us wonderfully.  Besides going out of their way to make sure the day runs smooth, not that Jimmy and Marie-Paule need any assistance, but they are easy to work with and they genuinely want the day to be successful.

To really learn the full story of Chad’s brain tumor, the struggles and obstacles he and his family faced, purchase The Book of Chad.  It couldn’t be more straightforward and spot on and educational.

I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.  ~Mother Teresa

Life’s Not Fair… sometimes you get a bloody lip from your walking stick. Kyle & Nick were acting like Jedi Masters…my little Yoda 2013

“That’s not fair!” has been exclaimed from Kyle’s mouth time and time again.  In fact, I heard it proclaimed this past weekend at the fishing derby Gone Fishing!.  “Why is everyone else getting fish?  That’s not fair!  Why am I the only one?”  and on and on.  It’s fishing, no one ever in the history of the world said that every fisherman was suppose to catch the same amount of fish, let alone at the same time, all being the same size.  It’s called life!

I know, I’m guilty of muttering those words too, for various reasons, mostly from my youth.  Being an adult, I really don’t care to keep tallies and to track fairness.  I realized long ago, everyone has their cross to bear and what may seem unfair, is ultimately in the hands of the Almighty One.

Is life suppose to be fair?  It was never promised, by anyone at any time, not even in the bible.  Yes, it’s true it talks about being fair and just to others but that is instructed of us, the ones with free will who sometimes stray from what’s right.  Even with dictatorship rulings and socialist countries, everything is seriously not fair.  There are always going to be those born into wealth or have status and opportunities that others don’t.  Some are more intelligent and have great ideas etc.

Dodge Ball, sometimes you win… sometimes you loose… sometimes you get smacked in the face. Kyle did twice! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Two Friday’s ago Kyle lost his molar.  Yep, poor kid will be going into the seventh grade and is still loosing baby teeth.  Maturity is not a strong trait in the Piper family.  Anyway, we went to see Iron Man 3, which was great!  He always has to get popcorn, except this missing tooth threw a monkey wrench in his behavior.  He said, “O man, now I can’t have popcorn with the movie!  Not with my sore gum.  That’s not fair.”  My parents said, “Just eat to one side.”  He wouldn’t hear of it.  That’s not the way you are suppose to eat, and he would not do it.

On a side note, Kyle is a bit of a weakling, putting it mildly, when it comes to any sort of physical pain.  No matter how minor.

As we drove to the movie theater, he commented again on how that wasn’t fair.  Really?  With all the poverty, starvation and lack of proper nutrition in the world and him not eating popcorn for a movie on opening night is not fair?  Someone needs to reevaluate his position.  Better yet, let good old Aunt Heather put it in perspective.  Keep in mind, this whole conversation was based on the fact he couldn’t eat popcorn!  He could very well eat the snack, he just needed to adjust his chewing.  That too ticked me off.  Before the whining could begin, and before I seriously lost my temper, I go into one of my rants of how children are starving and don’t have the opportunity to go to the movies, especially on opening night.  Kyle quickly dropped it, only because he didn’t want to listen to my ‘Everyone has it worse’ dissertation.  I stopped because I didn’t want to hear his ‘Poor me’ arguments.

Kyle at the Friday night showing of Iron Man 3, we are big fans! 5/3/13

That got me thinking, life just isn’t fair.  And I’m grateful for that!  God made each and everyone of us unique in our way.  Every person has strengths and weaknesses, which means there will never be complete “fairness”.  He made us that way on purpose so we rely on each other to exist, to socialize, to be his children, his family.

Let’s discuss physical traits that can and cannot be helped.  Some people are short, some are tall, fat, skinny, fair skinned, dark skinned, and the list goes on and on.  Some may say, that’s not fair she has prettier eyes or a better smile than I have.  Those, ‘That’s not fair’ comments is what makes us all unique and different.  It brings variety to life.

Since the physical traits are all different, doesn’t the same principal go for all other aspects of life?  Example time.   Does everyone need to have the same amount of money as their neighbor?  I don’t think so.  I love the fact that I always worked, and worked hard for what I have, never accepting hand outs.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve received assistance in one form or another, but isn’t that what life’s about?  Helping our neighbor when they’ve earned it or in time of need?  I also don’t believe a ‘time of need’ is every minute of every day.  Sometimes you have to stand on your own two feet and pave your own path.  After all, how can you feel a sense of accomplishment, a sense of purpose, a sense of giving, when you are always taking?

Since everyone is different, and to the best of my knowledge that is a very true statement, wouldn’t each person treat all situations differently?  Maybe some people need to be driven or they can never accomplish anything or learn.  You always respect and appreciate the rags to riches story.  The person who came from nothing and made a better life for themselves.  Maybe that person needed to be put in a poor scenario to establish drive and motivation.  If that was taken away because of even distribution of wealth, then how would that life have ended?  Also wouldn’t the starting out in humble beginnings allows one to appreciate the flip side of life?  It may or may not instill a humility, but the option is now there,  as well as all the other lessons of life.

Sometimes you get the toy you want… sometimes you give your turn up to another kid with only 1 prize. Way to go Kyle! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

That’s what drives and motivates me, knowing I can reach a goal and be rewarded for it.  When I see a challenge I want to tackle it, taking it on ten fold.  If I have a goal to reach, I will work myself silly trying to reach it.  However, if I was just handed “things” and never felt the sense of pride or contribution, then I would not respect the handout as much, if at all.  I would never want to strive for what I think is better.  Worse, if what I worked for was taken from me, not by my choice, and given to someone else.  How would my actions change?

Sometimes lessons of life do not create a fairytale ending.  Sometimes they are just horrible and tragic.  But doesn’t that give us the opportunity to turn such darkness into light?  It’s not fair my brother died so young and sudden, for no apparent reason except God said it was his time.  It’s not fair that my nephew will never know his dad or grow up without a father.  Our family has made the most out of the cards we were dealt.  We never walk around saying, “It’s not fair.”  Never!  Instead, we’ve all stepped up our game, as with other friends and family.  I’ve been blessed to witness and be apart of such acts of kindness and sincerity over the years from others.  Sometimes it was just a pat on the back or words of encouragement and sometimes it came in the form of action and activity.  Even a simple invite or inclusion into an activity makes a world of difference.  I’m blessed in my life, and no it’s not fair but I’m fine with that.

I made Kyle pose in the Monster’s Inc. display before we saw Iron Man 3. I was cracking up! 5/3/13

This is a bit silly and simplistic, but I think it’s just the story to put my thoughts into plain English, common sense.  My cat, Storm believes she is one of the dogs, our Labradors.  She want’s to do everything they do, including taking hikes through the woods.  Alas, this would not be safe for her if she ever wondered off while we were hiking, or worse, adventured off on her own at night.  She meows at the door and angrily flips her tail to show her disdain for the situation.  It’s just not fair.  Nope, it’s not but it’s the way it is.  Storm is allowed to do things the dogs can’t, like being on the furniture and she gets to take more car rides than the dogs and so on and so forth.  The dogs get to take hikes but get more attention than the cat.  I understand I am making a rather feeble attempt at an Aesop’s Fable (I have no idea if there is one similar to this story) but certainly worth the calories burnt to ponder the simple thought.

Instead of focusing on “Life’s not fair”, shouldn’t we be exclaiming the obvious question?  ‘What can I do to help my fellow brother or sister?’

My CCD teacher told us this story and I always come back to it.  Forgive me for butchering it, but the lesson is the same.  He was in a very poverty stricken area, I can’t remember where, maybe South America doing missionary work.  He told us of this small child who was bouncing a ball.  Just playing with this rubber ball up a dirt road, which overlooked a very steep bank filled with garbage, sewage and rats.  As the child was self entertained, the ball happened to hit a rock sideways and was projected out of control.  Yep, you guessed it, the fun bouncing ball made a direct course of action for the filth down in the ravine.  Lost forever!  Did the child whine or cry?  Nope!  The young person, wearing only rags, continued on their route toward their straw hut with a dirt floor.  That was the only toy the child had, and now there was no more.

Sometimes you win the race & sometimes you take it slow and enjoy the sights & conversations! Me & Holly at the Great Race 2012

My teacher was actually on the way to visit the family, helping with the child’s sick sibling.  That’s how he knew the living conditions.  What my teacher witnessed made an impact on me.  I can’t even imagine the thoughts that would have erupted, if I witnessed this story first hand.  Is it fair that some live in extreme poverty?  Nope but that’s why we are called to reach out with what resources we have, to make a difference.

Mother Teresa is a perfect example of that.  She wanted to make a difference.  She never said, “It’s not fair” that no one is helping me with the sick, or no one is giving me money.  Nope, she took the resources she had and made a difference.  Is it fair that she had such a strong relationship with God and I’m not that tight with him?  If I want that, then I need to work for it.  God gave us plenty of opportunities to establish and build that relationship.  Each one of us have a different purpose in life and are called for specific reasons.

So really, maybe ‘Life isn’t fair’ should be tied directly to respect?  If we truly respect one another and respected all the things we have, then we wouldn’t be saying ‘Life isn’t fair’.  We would be more willing to lend a helping hand or give generously.

If a friend bought me something, more often then not I would take extra special care of it.  However, if I was given the same gift without a face or a reason behind the charity, then it would loose some of its value and not be treated with equal importance.  Charity and giving is all about the intent.  Not the notoriety and certainly not for selfish reasons.

It’s our job to help our brothers and sisters far and wide.  To help, from one person to another.  That’s what really makes the impact.  Not being forced to give my money in the form of taxes or some other undercover way, even if it is to assist those in need.  Yes, helping others is the end game, but the road traveled to get there is equally as important.  Giving, should be benefiting both parties involved, those that gave and those that received.  Naturally, the rewards are very different, yet equally as important.

So I guess, when I see that something “is not fair”, that really means, there’s an opportunity there to make a difference.

Each time you step off your path and give someone an act of kindness…then your road to happiness just to a little smoother.  ~Donna A. Favors

Marty, Jenny & Jimmy Singer beating the rain at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

This past weekend, yes Mother’s Day weekend, was the 24th Annual Louise Planinsek Fishing Derby.  This much anticipated event, is talked about and prepared for all year long.  It’s one of those activities that is automatically added to the calendar and you plan around, taking priority over everything else.

On a side note, happy late Mother’s Day to all those mother’s, guardians, role models, and anyone who has nurtured, raised and helped make a difference in the life of a child.

Kyle trying to crack a smile at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Friday night, me, mom and Kyle headed up to the Fishing Derby with our covered dishes.  I made brownies and Kyle requested my pasta salad.  We sat around the bonfire eating, drinking and chit chatting with everyone.  Some individuals I see every week in church, and some I see once a year.  Regardless, it’s always a good time with a great group of friends and family.

At this time, we usually pitch the tent, set up our camping gear and get out our fishing stuff.  However, this year I did not brave the rain and thunder storms.  I wimped out and broke the news to Kyle that we were going to be sleeping in our warm beds, under the protection of the roof.  He didn’t seem very thrilled with arrangement, but when he saw most others had the same idea, he reluctantly went along with the game plan.  Originally, Casey and his family invited Kyle to stay in their tent.  But with the threat of high winds, severe rains and thunder and lightening, camping indoors became the trend.  I can handle camping out when it’s cold and such, but when the skies are screaming and barreling in like a freight train, and the electricity is turning night into day, camping under trees on the ground is not not my cup of tea.  Although, Beth Planinsek informed me that everyone is instructed to camp out for the 25th Anniversary Fishing Derby next year.  For a special occasion like that one, I’m game and I’m sure Kyle won’t complain.

Dave (Boo) Planinsek, Shaun Rodgers, Jimmy Singer at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

The kids ran around playing dodge ball until it got dark, then they started playing tag.  Kyle came up to me and said, “Boy Aunt Heather, it gets hard to play tag in the dark, especially when I don’t have my glasses on.  Sometimes you have to tag someone even if you’re really not sure if they are playing or not.”  I laughed at that statement thinking, ‘Wonder who he tagged that wasn’t playing?’  I love seeing Kyle running around, playing with other kids, and I mean playing hard.  Abandoning all electronic devices and games and running in the mud and dirt with a game of old fashion tag.  That is what being a kid is all about!

Kyle finally caught a sun fish. Pappy is always on hand to help. Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Bob Dowler, longtime neighbor of the Planinsek’s, (his parents owned Sugarbush restaurant) made the popcorn in the big iron kettle on the fire.  The best popcorn ever!  Kyle assisted him in years past, but this year he was burning off a year’s worth of energy.  Eddie who was seated by mom administered the bag and Lori managed the salt.  They cracked me up!  That family is too much!

Before long, mom and I wanted to call it a night, yet we didn’t want to put a damper on Kyle’s fun, so I took mom home and had Kyle call me when he was ready.   Sure enough, as soon as I got home, which was only a five minute drive, Kyle called and said he was ready.  So back up over the ridge I drove, to pick up my little package.  Not that I mind at all.  He was getting out in the fresh air and hanging with a good bunch of kids.

Jimmy, Nina & Lisa hanging out at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

While winding down for the evening, Kyle instructed us that we, were to be up at 6:00 am, allowing us enough time to get ready and be back at the Planinsek Pavilion when breakfast was served at 7:00 am.  No worries, we are all morning people and usually I get up between 5:00 am and 6:00 am every day, anyway.  The hardest part of the evening was getting my “cruddy” nephew into the shower before he fell asleep in front of the fireplace.

Kyle pouting while Olivia looks on. Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Reluctantly, Kyle got up a little after 6:00 am, with some assistance from my dad and the dogs.  He was tried!  All the cool air and running around really knocked him down, in a good way.  Slowly but surely, we packed up the car and headed to our all day destination.  Mom and dad, who were really slow moving, met us later.

Earlier in the week, dad purchased Kyle’s bait so once we packed up the car we were good to go.  Before departing, Dad gave Kyle direction where to set up his fishing spot, to the left of the pond.  We were ready!

Once 8:00 am rolled around, all the activity from the night before resumed, kids buzzing around, adults gabbing and shooting the breeze, people eating and setting up their fishing spots.    Love the Fishing Derby!

Casey holding son Owen Olczak. Dave (Boo) in the background at the Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

The Derby officially starts at 9:00 am.  As part of the announcements, they gave a moment of silence to Robert Scavnicky, “Bobby”.  He pass away on December 15, 2012 at the age of 60.  They gave a very nice heartfelt account of Bobby’s life and his contributions to the Fishing Derby.  Being a member of Sacred Heart Church, and living on the Planinsek ridge, I knew Bobby.  Mostly in passing and to see him at the Fishing Derby and other local events.  He was always a truly nice guy.  That’s what I can sincerely say, he was a nice guy, very warming and welcoming and laid back.  Mom and dad knew him well and have always talked highly of him.  I can see why.  In fact, technically Bobby was my mom’s step brother, if you will.  His mom was married to my grandpap Chester for a brief period of time before he passed away in 1980.

Kids are braving the rain to catch their trophy rainbow trout! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Bobby’s sister Michele was part of the attendance.  At one point, Michele and mom were talking and mom commented that Michele used to babysit me when I was little.  Michele said with conviction, “O I remember this one, I don’t really remember the other ones but I remember Heather!”  Yikes!  Was I that bad?  Michele said I would cry a lot and I never wanted to be separated from my mommy.  That’s too funny, I was a mommy’s girl!   Mom said it wasn’t until about second grade did I become independent and I remained that way since.  I guess the big bad scary world was a bit too much for me to handle at first, until I got used to it.

While I’m still on the subject of Bobby, Friday night while sitting around the campfire, Mick, mom and me were shooting the breeze and we started talking about dates of those who have passed.  Fun topic of conversation I know, but it is what it is.  Lori interjected with dates that no one could remember.  Boy she is good!  We talked about my Uncle Walter and Aunt Mary Olczak, Casey’s grandparents, who passed in 1993 and 2002 respectively.  My Aunt Mary was a Planinsek, so that’s another branch of the tree that intertwines the Planinsek’s through marriage.

Ryan Hiles accepting his trophy from Dave Planinsek, for the largest rainbow trout at the Planinsek Fishing Derby Congratulations! 5/11/13

Naturally, Ryan always comes up in these conversations.  He passed away on October 23, 2001, being 24 years-old.  Mom commented to Mick that Nicholas, Bobby’s son, came to Ryan’s burial and stopped up at the house to help unload food and such, wanting to help out.  Really?  You know, sometimes I think I completely stepped out during that time, because there was a lot that happened and a ton of people around that I truly don’t remember.  Mom said he came down to the house right after we left the cemetery.  Sincerely, I have absolutely no recollection of him being there.  Still, I am grateful for the support!  Little acts of caring and sincerity can really make an impact on a person, even nearly 12 years later.  Thanks Nicholas!  I guess Bobby was able to instill some good attributes in his kid.

Now, getting back to the announcements.  Just before reviewing the rules of the fishing derby, it started to rain.  They blew the bugle and then it was a downpour.  In all honesty, I thought all the kids were going to take off for shelter and skip the fishing.  Nope!  These are tough ridgers!  All the kids stood in the rain, along side their parents, friends and relatives fishing.  It went on for a few hours because before I noticed it, it was around noon!  The rain was cold and continued off and on for most of the morning.  No one really cared how muddy they were getting, or how wet.  They were catching fish and having fun!

Casey’s family fished to our right including Grant and Olivia.  Little baby Owen was nearly a year old, so maybe next year little Olczak can participate.

I handed dad my umbrella. The pink polka dots really make it! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Dad mostly helped Kyle, who as tradition dictates was difficult at first.  He keeps making excuses for not casting right, and not catching anything and on and on and on.  At one point, I thought dad might throw Kyle in the pond.  Not literally, but he was pushing our buttons.  Saying Kyle was being difficult is me being nice.  His attitude was out of control, he needs to listen to what he’s being told and not assume he knows everything.  Plus he needs to be patient!  He has to realize that every time you cast your line in the water, you might not get a fish.  Apparently Kyle didn’t get the memo but I’m here to say, that’s part of the sport!

A little while later, Lisa Singer or her Sister Nina Enfinger came up to me to check in and shoot the breeze.  She said, “It would be nice if Kyle won.”  What a sweet comment, after all, almost all of the kids present, were her nieces, nephews and cousins.  To be concerned for Kyle was way too nice!   I turned to her and said, “I don’t, not with the way he’s acting.”  She understood where I was coming from, no judgement placed!  I certainly want Kyle to do good and win, but I don’t want him to be rewarded for acting like a spoiled brat.

Eventually, Kyle did manage to catch a small sun fish.  He was more thrilled that he was no longer in the category of ‘not catching anything’, over actually catching the fish, even if the fish was not impressive, not even good enough for the frying pan.  I’m was just happy he was happy.

I will admit, later after dad had enough of Kyle’s complaining and attitude, and once we took a lunch break, Kyle tried his had at fishing again.  This time he was like a different person.  He was being good, listening and fishing better.  His casting was getting pretty good, his patience was stabilizing and his attitude was now sportsmanlike.  Maybe it had something to do with me telling him, his pappy left because he was fed up with his behavior.  Kyle was in shock.  It never occurred to him that dad wasn’t going to listen to him all day.  Maybe that’s what he needed to straighten him up.

The day moved along as it always does with a lot of food, drinks and conversation.  In order to cover all costs, ensuring the Fishing Derby continues year after year, they raffle off prizes and such.  I won a ceramic 2013 Planinsek Fishing Derby mug, which I realized as I was writing this blog that I left it there.  Note to self, I will need to try and retrieve it!

Kids are anxiously waiting for their names to be drawn to pick a prize! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

There is a 50/50 raffle and the day doesn’t come to an end until the children’s raffle.  Throughout the day, parents and kids alike put a ticket in for a kid with their name on it.  All the prizes are on display.  Once a name is called, the child claims their prize until all the toys and such are gone or all the tickets have been drawn.

During this time, I will shout of my pride in Kyle.  With all that went on during first part of the day, Kyle really redeemed himself.  Without me saying anything and only noticing through observation, Kyle began to pick out toys for Grant.  He wanted to get him prizes that he would like.  Kyle even told Grant to go to the table and pick something out, on Kyle’s turn.  I stood there off to the side, unbeknownst to Kyle and watched the giving pour forth from my little man!   Boy that kid can act like an ungrateful spoiled child one minute, and a sincerely giving little man the next!  Maybe he is listening to us after all.

The rain couldn’t deter these fisherman from their trophy rainbow trout! Planinsek Fishing Derby 5/11/13

Then to really steal my heart, as his name was called yet again, Kyle looked around and gave his turn to one of the Enfinger kids because at that point the little boy only had one prize.  What?  Love was just overflowing from my heart toward Kyle’s small actions.  As I’ve always told Kyle, it’s the thought and the intent that really count!  Personally, I was just impressed that he thanked Casey for putting in more tickets on his behalf.

Then, the acts of kindness don’t just stop there, he picked up this kitchen utensil, brought it to me and said, “This is for Gigi”.  What a sweetheart!  He also assigned a few prizes for others, beside himself.  That’s what being part of a family is about.  That’s also what good sportsmanship and being a good person means!

The day was a success!  This year the new record came in the form of a brother and sister team.  Ryan Hiles caught a 23 inch rainbow trout and his sister Jenny, who was fishing right beside Kyle, caught a 12 and three quarters inch large mouth bass.  Great job guys!  Can’t wait for next year!  The 25th Annual Louise Planinsek Fishing Derby!

Read about last years Fishing Derby Want to Go Fishing? 

A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.  ~Bruce Lee

Casey, holding Kyle & Nicole at Kyle’s Baptism 10/28/01

When Kyle was just a baby, he would throw the typical child temper tantrum.  Nicole used to say “2.2” every time this happened.  Meaning, Kyle’s attitude would change from pleasant little boy to screaming little demon in about 2.2 seconds, literally.  It was actually hilarious.  Kyle would be a happy baby one minute, then he would get this wrinkle between the eyebrows just before the tears flowed.  2.2!  This behavior didn’t last very long, usually, nor did it happen frequently.  But enough to notice the signs and recognize the storm brewing.  Of course, it was a very short window of detection, if at all.  Then again, sometimes I provoked the winds to start brewing.

Certainly, once the tantrums started, I couldn’t help but antagonize the clearly upset child.  Not so much when he was an infant, but definitely by the time he was able to walk.  Then, there were those other occasions, when I would nudge his behavior just to get a rise out of him.  Not to be mean.  No!  I was teaching Kyle valuable life lessons, early.  Sort of.

Example time!  I know, I’ve talked about this before, but it warrants another pass.  Kyle loved his matchbox cars.  Yes, he would drive them around but mostly he would line them up on the coffee table, very precisely bumper to bumper, trunk to hood.  He did this in long perfect, well thought out rows, until the entire coffee table was covered in cars.  It was quite amazing watching him spend all that time creating a used car parking lot.  Every now and again, just to throw him off his game, I wait for him to turn around to retrieve another car to add, and my foot would happen to tip the coffee table over so all the cars rolled off.  Now it’s not as bad as it sounds.  Yes it was hilarious, especially the first time when he was in utter shock and didn’t understand what had happened.  Then he got wise to me.  2.2!

On a side note, what was the life lesson for tormenting the child?  I wanted him to get used to things disrupting his perfection, his obsessive compulsive behavior.  I wanted him to be able to handle things not going his way, and throwing a monkey wrench in his system so he would learn to adjust.  Did it work?  Yes and no.  I’ll talk about that one day.

Nicole holding our bottle lover while I took a picture at Chad’s wedding

It would be completely inaccurate to say that most tantrums were not caused by me, or involved me to some degree.  But I will admit, they were not all started because of my antagonistic personality.  Kyle played a role and lent a helping hand to bring on the 2.2.  But then again, I may have prolonged the fit of rage, a bit.  Especially when the tantrum involved his bottle!

You see, Kyle loved his bottle, much like myself when I was a baby.  When he would get mad, to show his disdain, he would get up, walk out the front door onto the porch and toss that bottle as hard as he could into the yard.  This was done with a permanent scowl look on his face.  We would all laugh, just because he was too comical.  Seriously!  I would say, “I guess he’s mad” and then Nicole would turn to me and say, “2.2”.  Usually that was my cue to torment a little.  He was way too adorable to pass up and hilarious.  I couldn’t resist!  Always retrieving the discarded milk vessel, I made sure it eventually made its way back to Kyle.  If he was really upset or angry, he would show me, with a glare that could have melted ice, while going back whence he came, and tossing the bottle off the porch returning it to the grassy plain.

What caused such behavior?  Usually, it was due to a misunderstanding between me and Kyle when we were playing.  He wanted me to play a specific way and he misunderstood me for someone to follow his orders.  Hence, I wouldn’t play the way he wanted me to, usually with his cars or Thomas the Tank.  In not bowing down to his direct orders, I was teaching him to play with others, learning to take turns and share in the fun and not being such a bossy little boy.  Actually, let’s get to the heart of the matter.  I was not going to have a two year old tell me how to play cars, I didn’t care where he threw that bottle.

If  there was a second demonstration of his attitude, I would again retrieve the bottle out of the yard and put it up on the mantle where he could see it.  That ticked him off even more, especially when I would act like I was drinking from it.  Ok, that’s a bit of teasing but he needs to learn to deal with all kinds of people and situations throughout life.  I was giving him a head start.  More than not, this action ended with mom and dad yelling at me to stop teasing the baby.  Who was the child and who was the adult?

It was all in good fun and he was just so stinking cute, I couldn’t stop myself.

Kyle wasn’t happy at his Baptism 10/28/01

Luckily, we have gotten past the bottle throwing demonstration and moved into the most annoying, not even slightly cute, world of whining and back talking.  If this was a kingdom, Kyle would rule over it.  Don’t get me wrong, Kyle is a great kid!  He truly and genuinely is, except for that part of him.  It’s a minor part, but it will devour us all if left untreated.

After we participated in the Ropes Course at the Ligonier Camp & Conference Center for Kyle’s youth group, last weekend, dad said he needed our help.  I will admit I was tied too, after all we were there from 9:00 am till around 12:30 pm.  But when there’s chores to be done, we need to get them tackled.  My motto, dive in and get it over with as quickly as we can.  Kyle’s motto?  Whine about it and complain the entire time, and let’s not forget move as slowly as humanly possible.  It was a long morning and the afternoon was going to get longer.

Dad wanted to chop some firewood and stack it.  Ok, not an easy task for Kyle on a normal day, not to mention he was physically tired before we even started.  But he just wouldn’t stop with the attitude and the back talking.  All you hear is “Why do I have to do that?” Whhhhyyyyy?”

Let’s also get this straight, I have no issues with Kyle asking questions and understanding what is being asked of him and why.  But what I can’t handle, is when you give him an answer and he continues asking the same question over and over.  Plus you add in the whining, only for the sole purpose of being irritating.  Now that I can not deal with!  He only asks and asks again because he doesn’t like the answer.  Tough!  Sometimes I believe Kyle thinks he’s going to get his own way if he continues on the same course.  Nope!  Not on my watch.  I’ve always told him ‘I invented stubborn.’

Joel holding Kyle at the Planinsek Pavilion

For part of the day, Kyle was a real treat, especially on the ears.  I truly hate it when he doesn’t appreciate what he has and what he gets.  Would you believe, during his whining and back talking, he had the audacity to ask me to take him to the store to get some of his playing cards?  Seriously?  I don’t know what person in their right mind would do such a thing after his behavior, except Kyle!

Helping to raise Kyle since he was just three months old, I know for a fact, that I, nor my family have ever tolerated such acts, completely spoiled.  Does he genuinely think this tactic is going to work?  Loving Kyle with my whole heart, I can not in good faith allow this to happen.  Yes, that’s my way of saying he got in big trouble. No video games, no computer, nadda and he still had to continue with the work, no matter how slow he was moving.

It’s weird, sometimes, not all of the time, this happens on Friday and Saturday, but by the time Sunday rolls around again, he is back to being a normal child.  Manageable.  Odd. I’ve actually noted this for some time now.

Kyle has been whinnying for years now, and I am at a loss of how to stop it.  Even mom said that none of us have ever whined.  We would have most certainly gotten the belt.  Plus, it really was not in our nature to act like that.  Back talking?  Yes.  I will admit I did participate in that activity when I was younger, but certainly not at Kyle’s age and not to the persistence that he does.  Even then, mom would literally wash my mouth out with soap.  Maybe I should try the bubble method?  Although softy pap pap would probably stop me.

I’m going to have to get crafty and come up with a new method to conquer his madness, before I go mad.  Hopefully this weekend brings a new attitude with our little man.  After all, Iron Man 3 came out today and we both really want to see it.  Plus, we’re ordering Jioio’s Pizza, bonus!!

If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?  ~1 Corinthians 12:17

The Sacred Heart / Saint Cecilia Youth Group got together at the Ligonier Camp & Conference Center to participate in the ropes course 4/27/13

This past Saturday Kyle’s youth group had a fun activity, the ropes course!  What is a ropes course?  I had no idea at first.  Before the day began, all I knew was that Kyle signed me up to join him and the rest of the Sacred Heart / Saint Cecilia youth group on their chosen outing.

Sometimes, I am just amazed how God works, even blessing us and our outing with such a pretty sunny day.  Enjoying the cool bright morning drive, we headed out to Ligonier, making our way up a secluded side road just outside the town.  The ropes course was held at the Ligonier Camp and Conference Center.  Great!  I was never there, and what are we doing again?

Mikaela Milko showing how to wear a babushka at the Ropes Course in Ligonier 4/27/13

After meeting our counselors, Marty and Jeb, they led our group about a quarter of a mile up a hill towards the woods.  Unbeknownst to everyone at the time, our real journey was about to begin.

We started off with the standard, ‘get in a circle and introduce yourself’.  However, they added a fun twist.  We were to introduce ourselves and tell everyone what our super power would be.  I chose flying, while others chose super strength, invisibility, mind reading and such.  Ok, neat idea to get everyone thinking and listening to our neighbor.  Where’s the ropes course?

Next, we completed a serious of individual and small group exercises.  We did the listening game of Shlaw and a fun sword game.  Comical as it may seem, and it was, we ran around with one arm acting as a sword and the other hand positioned in the middle of our backs, acting as our week point to be struck with an opposing sword.  Yes, we ran around in a large yard that was marked off, trying to strike each other down.  This is what really cracked me up.  When a person was slain, they were not permitted to just kneel down and be out of the game.  O no!  We had to act out a dramatic death scene, dropping to our knees.  That was just getting us warmed up.  There’s more!

The Sacred Heart / Saint Cecilia’s Youth Group participating in the Ropes Course 4/27/13

Let’s not forget when we teamed up in groups of four and acted as a dragon, trying to get the other dragons tails, a.k.a. the handkerchief.  Then, there were the teams of two.  Only one person could see to guide the other.  Toward what you may ask?  To pick up stuffed animals and propel the soft ammunition at our opponents of course.  At first, we were allowed to speak to our temporarily blinded partner in crime.  That was just for practice.  The second time we played, there was no talking, only reading body language.  For me, I had Mikaela who is about Kyle’s age.  So I basically drug her around the large grassy area and used her arms as extensions of mine.

Sacred Heart / Saint Cecilia Youth Group figuring our the Ropes Course in Ligonier 4/27/13

When do the ropes course come into play?  That’s what I was wondering!  Not that I wasn’t having fun and learning the hidden lessons with each of these games.  But I wanted to swing like Tarzan.

Then came our first group activity!  Marty and Jeb borrowed a water bottle and gave us instructions to move the water bottle of its current position on the ground to Marty’s hand.  Everyone was to use at least a pointer finger and a pinky finger to move the bottle together as a group.  Yes all at once, all eighteen of us around a small water bottle.   That certainly took teamwork, and everyone following the called out instructions from those with strategic insight.  Did we do it?  Yes!

Me assisting Kyle on the Ropes Course in Ligonier. A fun activity with his Youth Group! 4/27/13

Seriously, the entire time that we were working on this challenge The Wonder Pets song was playing in my head.  Kyle loved that cartoon and he used to sing the theme song all the time.  Indulge me for a moment…
Linny: “The phone, the phone is ringing!”
Ming-Ming: “The phone, we’ll be right there!”
Tuck: “The phone, the phone is ringing!”
Linny: “There’s an animal in trouble…”
Ming-Ming: “There’s an animal in trouble…”
Tuck: “There’s an animal in trouble somewhere!”
———————
Tuck: “A baby [animal]
Ming-Ming: “This is se-rious!”
Tuck: “We have to help him/her”
Linny: “Let’s save the [animal]!”
Tuck and Ming-Ming or All then All: “Let’s save the [animal]!”
———————
Linny: “Linny,”
Tuck: “Tuck,”
Ming-Ming: “And Ming-Ming, too!”
All: “We’re Wonder Pets and we’ll help you!”
Linny: “What’s gonna work?”
Tuck and Ming-Ming or All: “Teamwork!”
Linny: “What’s gonna work?”
Tuck and Ming-Ming or All: “Teamwork!”
———————
All: “Wonder Pets! Wonder Pets! We’re on our way
To help a baby [animal] and save the day!”
Ming-Ming: “We’re not too big,”
Tuck: “And we’re not too tough,”
All: “But when we work together we’ve got the right stuff!
Go, Wonder Pets! Yay!

Part of the team building exercises including using your blind partner as a bomber 4/27/13

Naturally, at the time I couldn’t remember the entire song, but regardless, it seemed to fit our situation.  Anyway, once we accomplished the first water bottle challenge, we were given the same activity only with another twist.  We needed to have someone place their nose, two people add their elbows and two pinkies (I believe) on the bottle.  All while EVERYONE, was touching the bottle in some way.  We needed to lift our object off the ground with a nose, two elbows, two pinkies and thirteen fingers on the bottle, at the same time.  Then move as a group toward our goal, Marty, to deliver the object of focus.  It was a bit awkward, but we did it!

Now the ropes course?  Not quite yet.  We had to sit in a circle among the trees and discuss the lessons we learned with all the previously executed exercises, including the themes of strategy and teamwork.  This was a way to encourage everyone to speak up and continue to be an integral part of the team.  Not to mention ensuring everyone was learning the lessons taught.

The Sacred Heart / Saint Cecilia Youth Group working out a strategy to the Rope Course 4/27/13

We started moving toward the theme of the ropes course when Marty and Jeb were talking about safety, teamwork and strategy.  Something along those lines.  I was too excited for the long anticipated “ropes course”.  I had already built up this grandiose idea of what we were going to do.  Better yet, how I was going to fly among the trees and jump from one set of ropes to the other hundreds of feet in the air.  Or climb a rope with one hand that was over fifty feet high.  All of which did not happen, it was much harder than that.

We’re just getting started on the day. Ligonier Camp & Conference Center 4/27/13

After I was forced out of my dream state, I realized the time was at hand.  Our team cheer was the youth group motto, Helping Hands.  On the count of three we broke and headed toward our next destination.

Now the ropes course!  Eighteen of us lined up standing on a log.  We needed to shimmy around a bit to get our group to fit, but we managed.  Then, we needed to split into two groups to tackle the course from each end.  Simple enough.  No!  No one, not from either side was allowed to touch the ground and the adults were not allowed to talk.  If we touched the ground, then everyone would have to go back to the beginning and start all over again.  Did that happen?  O many many times.  I was the reason we started over once, jumping into the side of a tree as I lost my balance.  Kyle fell at least once, not to mention all the other participants who followed our lead to the ground.

Sacred Heart / Saint Cecilia Youth Group at the Ligonier Camp & Conference Center 4/27/13

The ropes course was a serious of balance type of obstacles we needed to cross, working our way back to the starting line, the log.  No one was allowed to touch the ground, and everyone had to make it back.

Team building exercises before the Ropes Course at the Ligonier Camp & Conference Center 4/27/13

Along the way we realized the strengths and weaknesses of our team members.  With every start, we learned more and more and realized how to adjust to make our plan work.  From the very beginning, I knew I could help Kyle.  It was just like we were snowboarding and I was helping him with his balance.  Although, I will admit Kyle started to do pretty good on his own with each pass.  In fact, at the one intersection where we had one rope to walk on and one rope to hold on to, I lost my balance and went backward, holding on for dear life.  Please keep in mind we were only about four or five inches off the ground but it was the fear of touching the ground and making everyone start over.  No one wants to let the team down.  Kyle held his position, whereas I could have completely thrown him off balance.  He used his body to project us forward allowing both us a steady passage to the tree.  Nicely done buddy!

There was a lot of teamwork and “helping hands” along the way.  Ultimately, since one big challenge was crossing paths with the second half of our team, we sent the shortest of the group through first, while helpers were posted along the way.

Without my help, but with the assistance and guidance of others, Kyle, along with the rest of our vertically challenged kids made it to the end.  Great job guys!  We nearly got everyone through, then we biffed it again and unfortunately ran out of time.  I spent the majority of the exercise on the double ropes, which I think I mastered.  Although the cramping in my feet and the burning in my thighs might argue the opposite.

We ended the day with another recap and a prayer before tackling our lunch.  By that time everyone was mentally and physically exhausted, but in an good way.  What a great idea!  Asking who presented this activity to the group, Isaak raised his hand.  This was a perfect way to really get to know your group and allow everyone to make a contribution to the team!  I would love to do it again.

We left there feeling pretty good about ourselves.  It was the teamwork and the ability to lend a helping held and accept assistance from others.  God made us all differently so we will rely on one another.  Simple as it may seem, that’s exactly what we did!  As Henry Ford once said, “Coming together is a beginning.  Keeping together is progress.  Working together is success.”