Leadership:  The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.  ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

Kyle at the Medieval Times Tournament & Dinner with his Aunt Nikki in Maryland

I’ve been posing the question, “Are Professions taught or born?” for a while now.  As Kyle matures, I see glimpses of his future self, his true nature shinning through and I tend to wonder if a chosen profession is a part of the person from birth, or is it just simple education and environment.  Not that I want Kyle to grow up too fast, but he has shown serious signs of being an engineer and/or a businessman.  This hasn’t just happened recently, this behavior has been peeking through Kyle’s personality since he was a baby.  Yes I said baby!  While observing Kyle over the years, it really gets me thinking.

About two months ago, during one of our hikes through the woods with the dogs, Kyle went off on a tangent – Lego Obsessive or Driven?.  Listening to him ramble, posing specific questions  and coming to his own conclusions, he really made me stop and listen to him.  His observations and speculations where spot on.  He has a very business like mind and way of thinking.

Kyle was saving up and earning money that weekend to purchase a new Lego, which apparently just came out in May, and he had to have it for the last day of school that Monday.  Not only did Kyle repetitively detail the Lego and describe his excitement over the anticipated purchase, but he also deviated slightly to understand marketing and different business models of retail stores, specifically Wal-Mart and Toys-R-Us.  Kyle began talking about Wal-Mart, how they have toys but not the entire selection that’s offered in the marketplace, along with groceries and other things.  Then he did an immediate comparison to Toys-R-Us stating they only offer toys, “but nothing really for adults”. He said,

“And Aunt Heather, Wal-Mart always seems to be cheaper, but they don’t always carry everything, so you have to go to Toys-R-Us anyway.  They may cost a little more but they have more of a selection.  It seems like, Wal-Mart is cheaper and there are more of them, but they don’t have everything, but Toys-R-Us is more expensive but they carry all toys, even rare ones, and ones that just came out.  Wal-Mart has a little bit of everything even for adults, and Toys-R-Us doesn’t really have anything for adults, well I guess they do.  Some things like video games ’cause adults like those too.  And Wal-Mart is open 24 hours, well most Wal-Marts, some aren’t open all night and Toys-R-Us is only open during the day.  They close early on Sunday’s.”

Yep, this one sided store comparison went on for the duration of our return trip through the woods.  He kept reiterating his dissertation, almost as if he was really organizing his thoughts to truly make sense of the business models.  Do all kids think in these terms?  I was actually quite intrigued with his thinking and I made no effort to sway him one way or another.  I just kept listening, wanting to hear his conclusion.  Then I did say, “Wow you have it all figured out.” with him responding, “Yep Aunt Heather that’s the way it is.”  Laughing at his candure I said, “Well buddy, you just did a comparison of two different business models.”  With a  blasé “Ya” he dismissed my thoughts before I could even get them out and continued talking about the new Lego he wanted.

While on vacation, “Aunt Nikki and Kyle’s week of fun” my sister texted me saying…

They just saw a commercial for used cars.  It said that you shouldn’t buy used cars from strangers and then it said to basically buys used cars from them.  Kyle said, “They just said not to buy used cars and they are selling used cars.  That’s just poor business.”

When I got that texted message, I about fell over laughing because I could totally hear Kyle saying that!  He is an observant little bugger and a thinker.  Nothing gets past him.  If it doesn’t make rational sense, then he will call it out and discuss it.  When Kyle was younger, if we told him not to do something he didn’t care.  But if we exclaimed the consequence or the outcome if he did what he was instructed not to do, he would listen, maybe ask a few questions, remember that conversation, later abide by the rules, and decide to take on the role of rule enforcer.  Example, I told Kyle that he was not allowed to ride around in a car without his seat belt.  He used to argue, that is until he knew it was illegal and I could get a ticket, not to mention it was more dangerous.  Ever since then that seat belt is on immediately and he has questioned my parents, who aren’t such sticklers.  It made sense to him that we weren’t just dictating orders, we were following established laws.

Being business-like minded  isn’t the only skill that Kyle has demonstrated.  He is always thinking about building or the logistics of structures.  While watching Journey 2 The Mysterious Island, the entire island was about to go under and Kyle began to think about the structure of the land.  He said, “Ya but how is the island going to go under water and still be the same with all the big cracks in the land?  It wont be the same when the lava fills in the cracks.  And how is the city going to stand?  It will fall over when ocean covers it.”  As I sat there with my family watching the movie, I will admit at first I shushed Kyle.  I wanted to see what was going to happen in the movie, then it dawned on me where he was coming from.  He didn’t seem to care everyone else was not wondering the same thing and that I asked him to be quiet, because he went off saying, “It doesn’t make any sense, the island is breaking up.”  Then finally my stern voice bellowed, “Kyle it’s a movie!  Just watch it.”  Then I realized,  in a way, I was dampening Kyle’s curiosity and his way of thinking.  So I gave him a wink, patted the top of his head and said, “O my little engineer.  Kyle you are a thinker!” trying to encourage this behavior, well maybe not talking through movies, which he does all the time, but allowing him to think differently.

After that, I’m guessing Kyle took my little words of encouragement to heart because he went off on a another tangent.  You see, he is also concerned with time management and technical details.  Now the next logical train of thought included doing a comparison between Journey to the Center of the Earth and Journey 2 The Mysterious Island.  He started to come to his own conclusions, which movie was easier to make and which one took longer.  Can you believe it?  This is Kyle’s thought process.  He is amazing!  He began to site specific scenes in each movie and give his explanation why they would be difficult scenes to shoot and which movie was more complex. Please keep in mind, Kyle does not know the slightest thing about making movies, especially on green screen.  Now that I’ve said that, I could stand corrected.  Kyle’s pretty intuitive and he may have watched some behind the scenes episode of making movies that I am not aware of.  There is no doubt, he knows more than I realize.

Now, let me entertain my way of thinking.  Since Pittsburgh has become the new hot spot for Hollywood, I wonder if Kyle should get into the film making industry?  I’m not saying acting, although with some training and coaching he might be good at it, he is dramatic and animated.  But there is so much more behind the scenes, technically speaking, that he might really enjoy.  Note to self: explore options locally to introduce Kyle to the movies.

With the posed question, Are Professions Born or Taught? and Part 2.  I read this story a while ago and I wanted to share it.  I agree with both gentlemen to a degree, but I tend to sway toward Michael Carson’s theory.  There isn’t one secret concoction for making a great leader, but there are specific qualities that one is born with.  I also believe those qualities are shown at a young age, but I do believe as Christopher Early stated, they can be honed in on and developed more.  I feel, being a natural leader is a part of a person’s DNA.  Kyle for example has shown to be a leader. In fact, we do joke around calling him the supervisor or the consultant.  But it’s true, he does posses  “(1) self-awareness, (2) personal conviction, (3) courage, (4) creativity, (5) curiosity, (6) ability to inspire, (7) ability to listen, (8) ability to innovate, (9 & 10) eagerness to experience and willingness to reflect.”  But it’s not to say that some of these attributes need coaching and to need to be matured, such as Kyle’s ability to listen.  I do believe that comes over time.  He shows that he listens now, but only when it suits his argument.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses in our personalities, and we should identify them, if for nothing else, just to be a better person.  But I don’t believe that a person can practice and practice at a trait and develop it out of nowhere.  If a person is not charismatic, then, in my opinion with some coaching you can become an eloquent speaker, but never truly be charismatic.  Of course, this is my opinion and by no means do I have facts to back up my theory.  Being a leader seems to be in Kyle’s blood, although I would be happy if he was a follower, a worker bee.  But I don’t see that in his future.  Like I’ve always told Kyle, in order to become a good leader, you need to be a great follower and know when to step up to the plate.  I guess time will tell what Kyle’s future holds.

http://www.inmagazine.cgsm.org/indepth/two-views?p=all

From Beginning Until Now…

Are Professions Born or Taught?
Are Professions Born or Taught? Part 2

If you’re not learning while you’re earning, you’re cheating yourself out of the better portion of your compensation.  ~Napoleon Hill

Kyle with is new ipod Touch, Apple Store Shady Side 5/2/12

Nothing is as rewarding as working toward a goal and reaching it.  Kyle has been working hard to collect, earn, and find enough money to upgrade his ipod Touch 4^th generation 8GB.  Well, needless to say he did it, in record time might I add, within a week’s time frame.  Kyle saved the four hundred dollars, plus the tax for his new ipod Touch 4^th generation 64GB.  He had his eyes on the prize and saw the finish line.  As of this past weekend Kyle re-counted his money to show me he was ready to go shopping.  He even said, “Aunt Heather could you count the money too to make sure it’s all there?” I said, “Nope, you are pretty good at math and I trust you can count accurately.”  He looked at me and nodded in a confident way with his little smirk.

On Saturday morning, my sister called and started to negotiate with him for his current ipod Touch.  Being on speaker phone, I heard the deals fly.  His mission was to get one hundred dollars for the 8GB device, while my sister’s mission was to teach Kyle about dickering back-and-forth.  I could tell he wasn’t quite getting it, then I had to step in and help the poor little guy out.  Nicole said, “Ok does the case come with it?”  Kyle looked down at his three dollar case and didn’t know how to answer her.  I stepped in and said, “The case is yours.”  He looked at me shocked! I said, Kyle I’ll get you another case, it’s minimal.  He nodded in agreement.  Nicole retorted, “Are there scratches?  What kind of shape is it in?”  Kyle tried by saying, “It’s in good shape, there are some scratches on the back.”  I couldn’t help myself, Kyle seemed like a sinking ship.  I said, “It’s the new 4th generation ipod in the coveted white.  The ipod just came out this past November and he got it for Christmas, so its only five months old and in great condition.”  That was an understatement, Kyle took very good care of his ipod.  Nicole started laughing and said, “I’m suppose to be negotiating with Kyle!”  I interjected again, “He needs a little help” as I gave Kyle a wink and a grin.  He takes the cue and said, “Ya Aunt Nikki, I looked online and I can get up to one hundred fifty dollars for the white one like mine.”  I heard her giggling in pride and amusement.  Nicole gave Kyle one last effort, “Ok does it come with a cord and wall charger?”  Kyle looked at me like ‘Help I don’t know what to say?’.  You see I got Kyle the wall charger separately, like his case.  Giving him the biggest ornery grin I had in me, and speaking very deliberately into the phone, I said, “You send us a hundred dollar check and get it to us by Wednesday we’ll give you the ipod, the case, the cord and the wall charger.”  Then Kyle interjected by saying, “Ya Aunt Nikki or cash.”  That’s my buddy!!!  I about died laughing when I heard that came out of his mouth.  I told Kyle we can take a check from Aunt Nikki since she’s mailing it and she’s a trusted source.  Nicole wrapped it up by saying, “Alright deal.”  Kyle smiled ear to ear, being excited about his negotiation skills and the thought of that new ipod in his hands by this past Wednesday.

Now Kyle wanted to know when I was going to take him to get his new device that was going to give him freedom to store eight times the ‘stuff’ in the palm of his hand.  Since he’s going into surgery this Saturday, he wanted his new ipod before he goes under.  I don’t blame him, that’s something good to look forward to, in the face of the hospital and doctors.  I also didn’t want him to take swimming this past Wednesday, right before surgery, so that’s when we both concocted the plan of ipod shopping.  How could I say no to all his efforts and hard work.

Obviously we could have ordered the ipod online, went to Best Buy, Target, Wal Mart or any of the local stores, but instead I wanted him to have a true apple experience.  I took Kyle to the Apple store in Shady Side, Pittsburgh.  I don’t really get to go into the city very often and I know Kyle has never been to Shady Side, so I thought it might be a nice little trip, something different.

On the way down, I had to stop and get gas in the car, treating this like a true adventure.  As we were at Sheetz fueling up, with overpriced gas might I add, Kyle decided he wanted an MTO.  We sat at the picnic tables outside the convenience store.  Kyle ate and I continued quizzing him on his history homework, knowing we wouldn’t be getting back till later and he had a Social Studies test the next day.  Also keep in mind, before this point, I had Kyle reading over his questions in the car.  Then that brings me to what happened next.  After he ate his wrap and smuffin, I kept quizzing until he looked a little green.  I said, “What’s wrong buddy?” and he placed his hand over his stomach and said, “I’m just feeling a little sick. Kind of like I’m going to throw up.”  Wow!  This happened quick, one moment he was fine all excited about our trip and now he is ready to blow chunks.  Kyle made a very good observation that it was pretty hot out and I tend to get sick too in the heat too.  “Ok, let’s get in the air conditioned car, please throw away the garbage and I’ll get you some cold water.” was all I got out before I turned toward his direction and saw the same food that was just ingested being upchucked into the trash can.  Yikes!  I ran and got him water and eventually moved him into the air conditioning.

Kyle opening his purchase, Apple Store Shady Side 5/2/12

Now it was time to make some hard and fast decisions.  “Kyle are you ok?”, he quickly retorted with a “Ya, I’m alright, I think it was the heat.”
“Do you want me to take you home?”
“Ya, maybe. Can we get my ipod before Saturday?”
“No Kyle, we have your baseball game tomorrow night, (referring to Thursday) and then you have guitar and piano lessons are Friday.”
“O, Ok, well then let’s just go now, I’m feeling better.”
“No, if you’re not feeling well, we can get it another time, you have an ipod to play with, I think you’ll be fine.”
“Um, ya but let’s just go now.  I’m feeling a lot better Aunt Heather.  I think it was also me reading when we were driving.”
Now that I know he was feeling all right, I did mention, “Kyle do you chew your food?  It looked like the entire smuffin in the trash, like you didn’t even bite into it.”  He gave me the Kyle grin and we both laughed.  I said, “Ok I guess the Battle at Tippecanoe and the War of 1812 are going to have to wait.”

After I made Kyle go in the bathroom and wash his hands and rinse out his mouth, I also had him get a piece of fruit to eat.  We got back in the car, cranked on the a/c and headed west toward out destination.  He was fine after that and started to become really excited the closer we got.  Naturally like a proud aunt, I video taped the experience and took a few pictures while I was there.

As we approached the store, Kyle saw the apple logo hovering over the doors welcoming us into our very own apple experience.  I let Kyle lead the charge; after all it was his money, his purchase, and his choice. As always the apple employees are seriously the nicest and most helpful, welcoming us as if we are their most cherished customers.  Kyle gave the young lady direction on what he wanted and they went right to work.  He picked the white one, fitting to replace his last one.  I tried to stay out his way and let him make the complete transaction.  But then I noticed after he gave Ashley, our personal apple assistant for the time being, all the details, he started to play a game on one of the demo models like no body else existed in the store.  What?   Like he’s never played a game on an ipod before!

Eventually, I managed to peel him away from the game long enough to pick out a new case and sign the receipt.  We were even going to have them set Kyle up, but he never backed up his purchases to the icloud and he forgot his ipod at home, which is strange because he drags that thing around with him everywhere.

After we walked around and got some answers to my questions, we exited the store in the same friendly fashion as we entered.  Then we decided to walk around Shady Side.  Kyle decided he was hungry, well naturally he really didn’t have a dinner.  We saw a few different places, one being a frozen yogurt place and I convinced Kyle to get some real food first, then if he wanted we could come back.  Kyle picked the place, Cappy’s.  Through dinner Kyle was talking to my sister and he she must have asked were are we eating because all I hear Kyle say, ‘Crabs, no I mean, crepes’ followed by some serious laughing on his part.  Then he looked at me and said, “Where are we?” and I quickly answered, knowing what he was trying to get to, “Cappy’s”.  He thought that was the funniest thing, he couldn’t stop laughing about being tongue tied Tim, even after he hung up the phone.

After dinner I fulfilled my promise and took Kyle to Happy Berry for his make-your-own frozen yogurt sundae.  We sat there sharing the bowl, that he made to reach the ceiling, and studied his homework.  He did a great job answering the questions.  Some lady overheard us and told us that she remembers missing the trick question, ‘What year was the war of 1812?’  Kyle just smiled like ‘really lady?’ but was polite and didn’t say anything.

We eventually made our way back to the car and headed in the opposite direction we came from.  Kyle played with his new ipod Touch the entire way.  You know I had an absolutely delightful evening with Kyle.  He is a great kid indeed!