Foiled – Greed is a Shiny Turd
The greed of gain has no time limit to its capaciousness. Its one object is to produce and consume. It has pity neither for beautiful nature nor for living human beings. It is ruthlessly ready without a moment’s hesitation to crush beauty and life. ~ Rabindranath Tagore
Seven is such a stinker! Actually both dogs are, but this one takes the cake, or should I say the aluminum foil. I think I’ve mentioned it a time or two how Scooby and Seven are like children Dogs Acting Like Two-Year Olds! – Aunt Heather Piper. Yep, that still holds true today, maybe even more so.
Last Wednesday or Thursday, dad had the dogs out. Naturally, being cooped up in the house all day while the parents were at work, makes the beasts a little hyperactive and rebellious. Nothing new, except this one came in the form of mischief that ended badly. Mom put the garbage out on the porch, why she placed the bag of unwanted items by the the trash can instead of in it, I will never know, but Scooby took this as a sign to help himself. He chewed a hole in the bag and began to pull out goodies, at least according to him. Dad saw the disaster unfolding and yelled at the blond troublemaker. Just then Scooby dropped the wad of aluminum from his mouth, my guess mom cooked with it and it still had a food taste. At that moment, dad said Seven ran up to troublemaker number one, Scooby, and snatched up the wad of aluminum foil like it was gold and downed it in one big gulp. Dad didn’t even have a chance to get it from Seven. Yes, Seven swallowed, in one big gulp a mass of aluminum foil the size of his fist. What? Are you kidding me? Seriously? Was that necessary? Seven just didn’t want Scooby to have what Scooby “found”. Greedy dog!
Now what? We knew that couldn’t be good for troublemaker number two, Seven, but what do you do? Mom called the vet to ask the professionals. They said we had to temporarily remove Seven from his usual diet of dog food and start giving him small amounts of chicken and rice. Well, then what do we do with Scooby who wanted what Seven was getting? Again greedy little buggers! We gave them both small amounts of chicken and rice. Mom did slip Scooby a bit more, while monitoring them. Like children, you can’t turn your back on the greedy beasts. It was almost comical, because of Scooby’s orneriness he was now on a diet too. This was suppose to go on until either Seven passed the wad of aluminum foil, or Seven showed signs of sickness, meaning the item was lodged. At that point we were instructed to take troublemaker number two to the animal hospital for surgery. Yikes! As humorous as this was, and almost unbelievable, I didn’t want that.
By the time I saw Seven last Friday he seemed perfectly fine. The only problem was, we really didn’t know if he passed the obstruction. The dogs have a nice area to run around and they usually go into the woods to do their business. And let’s face it mom and dad are not going to run around checking the dogs fertilizer in the woods. Not to mention trying to keep up with those two is next to impossible, even for me.
As Saturday rolled around, me and Kyle took the boys out for their weekly hike. The ground was covered in a blanket of white, a few inches or so, and the sky was dropping more fluffy white snowflakes all around us, really quite pretty. Unlike other hikes, my goal was not to take in the scenery, but to get Seven’s digestive system moving along. The hole hike I watched him intently so I could check on the outcome of his bathroom duties. Gross! But someone had to do it. I really wanted to report back to mom and dad with a victorious, passed! But alas it did not happen.
As Kyle and I hiked through the woods, a rather difficult course might I add to give Seven a good workout but to Kyle’s demise, Kyle and I started talking about the issue. He was concerned, as was the rest of the family, about Seven’s health and what was going to happen. I took this situation as an opportunity to prove a point. Nonchalantly, I said, “See what happens with greed. You get a shiny turd!” Kyle laughed and agreed. To reinforce my point, I continued “If Seven wasn’t being greedy and wanting everything Scooby had, then we wouldn’t be in this position. Now Seven has to take longer walks (not that he minded) and he is only allowed small proportions of grub. No more all you can eat. Let’s not forget, the worst case scenario, he will need surgery to remove the aluminum foil.” Kyle pondered my summary and nodded in agreement.
By Sunday, Seven was running around and playing, although early in the morning he was making a retching noise like he was going to blow chunks, but nothing.
Once Monday rolled around, to ensure all was good, mom took Seven to the vet for an X-ray. The wad of foil moved from his stomach, through his small intestines and into his large intestines. Well that’s a good sign, things are moving along so to speak. The doctor put Seven on these horse pills and re-outlined his eating choices. He was allowed dog food and a special treat, Mom was to give him a slice of bread a day coated in Vaseline. Yuck! As mom said it, I was gagging. Kyle was talking to mom on the phone at the time and all I heard was Kyle inaccurately repeating “You have to give him bread with gasoline?” Kyle was horror struck! All of a sudden, my attention was moved from our ravioli dinner to the conversation. Once mom clarified she said Vaseline and not gasoline, Kyle was put at rest. A little disgusted but not alarmed.
During all this, something struck me as a mystery. I asked mom how they got Seven to sit still while they took the X-ray. As a waving thought mom uttered, “You know, I’m not sure. I wasn’t allowed to go back with him.” Outraged, I retorted, “Mom! They probably clubbed him and you didn’t know!” Kyle busted out laughing at that comment, which did uncover a giggle from me. To reassure us of Seven’s well-being, mom interjected, “I think they gassed him.” To make it easier on everyone involved on this call, Kyle and I were listening to the conversation on speaker phone. We both looked at each other after that declaration and lost all control and busted out laughing. The way mom blurted that out, was too funny! Not letting and opportunity like that one pass me up, I added, “That’s what we need, is for that dog to have more gas!” All three of us found such humor at the expense of Seven.
Needless to say when a member of the Piper family is in trouble, the rest of the family is on standby, following up and offering support. Mom has been keeping us all in the loop via email, phone and text. On Tuesday, I received an email from mom stating that she had to sleep on the couch with Seven on the floor beside her. Apparently, those pills gave him gas and mom was afraid of Seven having an accident in bed. She said every time the dog passed gas, she would get up and take him outside in case he had to make a deposit. Nothing! Not really finding this funny, probably due to a lack of sleep, mom said, “He would just stand on the porch and look at me like ‘what?’.” That’s our Seven. Who would have thought we would be going through this when we picked him up from the pound.
As of today, there were no accidents in Seven’s corralled area of the kitchen. Did he pass the aluminum foil? No one really knows for certain, due to the fact the restroom for the dogs is in the woods. There could be a foil lined pile of crap by a big tree. I’ll take them for an extra long hike this weekend to make sure everything is moving along, but Seven seems happy and healthy and Scooby is excited he is no longer on a diet. Our boys, they are such a part of the Piper family. As I’ve said to Kyle greed is a shiny turd!
























