Every act of perception, is to some degree an act of creation, and every act of memory is to some degree an act of imagination.  ~Oliver Sacks

Seven & Scooby running & relaxing in the backyard. 2014

Even though Kyle is growing up and becoming more independent and “cool”, he still has a witty sense of humor and makes me laugh, hard!  This past weekend his humor shined through and through.

These silly situations usually happens when we have dashboard time in the car.  One of us makes a comment, then the other joins in with another comment, only more ridiculous and so on.  This continues until we have a seriously stupid yet very comical fictional story for our own pure entertainment.

What was so funny?  Our dogs!  Kyle asked about Scooby’s behavior with a stranger in the house, the DirectTV guys working on our cables to be exact.  I had to lock all three dogs in the bedroom (yes I am still dog sitting Avery), not a good thing!  Then, somehow we started on a scenario involving a robber entering the house.

For those of you who don’t know, Scooby is our blond Labrador.  Normally, Labs are very friendly dogs, well not Scooby, at least not with anyone else besides us.  Scooby is seriously the most gentle and loving dog, borderline clingy, that is ONLY with us.  Scooby is not even very nice with friends and family who frequent the house.  Yep, he’s a one dog family.  He’s too needy for my tastes, but very good with Kyle and pretty protective of him.  Kyle lays on Scooby and tugs on him and smothers him and runs him around.  Scooby loves every minute of it, unlike my dog Seven who is the Black Labrador.  Seven likes to be loved, but does not need saturated with affection like Scooby craves.  Scooby mean side is the basis of our sense of humor, at least for this particular story.

Kyle and I went off on ideas  of a robber entering the house and how Scooby would react, charging and latching on no doubt.  Typical stuff you’d see in a movie when a robber enters the house with an attack dog.  At least that’s how I envisioned it.  Then, our made up story went a bit non politically correct from there.  Do disrespect intended.

We loved pap! Me to the far left, Nicole, Jeremy & Chad. 1977

We started laughing about this fictitious robber who now has a wooden prosthetic leg.  I know, now-a-days most prosthetic legs are made from some sort of metal, however I also know first hand they used to be made of wood.  How do I know?  My beloved pappy had not one, but two prosthetic legs.  I’ve talked about my dad’s dad many times before Truly Homemade, Who Does Kyle Favor More, Pappy?  He had his first leg amputated below the knee before I could remember, and the other leg amputated above the knee when I was a little girl.  At the house, he used a wheelchair to get around, but when he was at work (yes he worked in a sawmill until he had a stroke and died) he had two prosthetic legs.  He would walk on them with two canes.  My pap was mentally and physically strong.

Our story started with Scooby getting a hold of this mysterious stranger’s leg and yanking it off.  To add to the fun and drama, our scene continued with Scooby gnawing on the leg and turning it into sawdust while the robber hops along.  Then, somehow Scooby got outside, still clutching the wooden prosthetic leg and running around the backyard, proud of his new “stick”.  Scooby would throw it in the air and catch it and then the other dogs would join in pulling and play with the leg.

What happened to the robber?  No clue.  We focused on the humor of Scooby running around with a wooden leg.

As we detailed this ridiculous story, I commented how funny it would be to come home to Scooby running with a wooden prosthetic leg in his mouth.  “Can you imagine him greeting us as we pulled in the driveway with a leg hanging out of his mouth?”  Kyle and I died!  We were laughing so hard, no sound was exiting our mouths.  If it wasn’t for his seat belt, Kyle would have been rolling around on the floor of the car.  It was one of those gut stretching laughs that caused your body to convulse and the muscles to tighten up, one of those perfect laughs that relaxes you.

I know my words don’t do the story justice and for the life of me I couldn’t remember all the silly comments we both made, but thinking back on it now, it’s still totally hilarious to me!  Guess you had to be there.

I love my little man!  He makes life so much fun and entertaining.  Even a simple car ride turned out to be a memory that I’ve been chuckling about all week.

Catch all the ridiculously funny stories!

Laughing About Nothing
Laughing About Nothing … True Story
Laughing About Nothing … Cats!
Laughing About Nothing … Truck Horn!
Laughing About Nothing … Dog in Space!

Below is a video of Kyle, Mr. Shirtless running around my parent’s backyard with our boys, Seven and Scooby.  Two good Labradors!

The greed of gain has no time limit to its capaciousness.  Its one object is to produce and consume.  It has pity neither for beautiful nature nor for living human beings.  It is ruthlessly ready without a moment’s hesitation to crush beauty and life.  ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Seven is such a stinker!  Actually both dogs are, but this one takes the cake, or should I say the aluminum foil.  I think I’ve mentioned it a time or two how Scooby and Seven are like children Dogs Acting Like Two-Year Olds! – Aunt Heather Piper.  Yep, that still holds true today, maybe even more so.

Last Wednesday or Thursday, dad had the dogs out. Naturally, being cooped up in the house all day while the parents were at work, makes the beasts a little hyperactive and rebellious. Nothing new, except this one came in the form of mischief that ended badly.  Mom put the garbage out on the porch, why she placed the bag of unwanted items by the the trash can instead of in it, I will never know, but Scooby took this as a sign to help himself.  He chewed a hole in the bag and began to pull out goodies, at least according to him.  Dad saw the disaster unfolding and yelled at the blond troublemaker.  Just then Scooby dropped the wad of aluminum from his mouth, my guess mom cooked with it and it still had a food taste.  At that moment, dad said Seven ran up to troublemaker number one, Scooby, and snatched up the wad of aluminum foil like it was gold and downed it in one big gulp. Dad didn’t even have a chance to get it from Seven.  Yes, Seven swallowed, in one big gulp a mass of aluminum foil the size of his fist. What? Are you kidding me? Seriously? Was that necessary? Seven just didn’t want Scooby to have what Scooby “found”. Greedy dog!

Now what?  We knew that couldn’t be good for troublemaker number two, Seven, but what do you do?  Mom called the vet to ask the professionals.  They said we had to temporarily remove Seven from his usual diet of dog food and start giving him small amounts of chicken and rice.  Well, then what do we do with Scooby who wanted what Seven was getting? Again greedy little buggers!  We gave them both small amounts of chicken and rice.  Mom did slip Scooby a bit more, while monitoring them.  Like children, you can’t turn your back on the greedy beasts.  It was almost comical, because of Scooby’s orneriness he was now on a diet too.  This was suppose to go on until either Seven passed the wad of aluminum foil, or Seven showed signs of sickness, meaning the item was lodged.  At that point we were instructed to take troublemaker number two to the animal hospital for surgery.  Yikes!  As humorous as this was, and almost unbelievable, I didn’t want that.

By the time I saw Seven last Friday he seemed perfectly fine.  The only problem was, we really didn’t know if he passed the obstruction.  The dogs have a nice area to run around and they usually go into the woods to do their business.  And let’s face it mom and dad are not going to run around checking the dogs fertilizer in the woods.  Not to mention trying to keep up with those two is next to impossible, even for me.

As Saturday rolled around, me and Kyle took the boys out for their weekly hike.  The ground was covered in a blanket of white, a few inches or so, and the sky was dropping more fluffy white snowflakes all around us, really quite pretty.  Unlike other hikes, my goal was not to take in the scenery, but to get Seven’s digestive system moving along.  The hole hike I watched him intently so I could check on the outcome of his bathroom duties.  Gross!  But someone had to do it.  I really wanted to report back to mom and dad with a victorious, passed!  But alas it did not happen.

As Kyle and I hiked through the woods, a rather difficult course might I add to give Seven a good workout but to Kyle’s demise, Kyle and I started talking about the issue.  He was concerned, as was the rest of the family, about Seven’s health and what was going to happen.  I took this situation as an opportunity to prove a point.  Nonchalantly, I said, “See what happens with greed. You get a shiny turd!” Kyle laughed and agreed.  To reinforce my point, I continued “If Seven wasn’t being greedy and wanting everything Scooby had, then we wouldn’t be in this position.  Now Seven has to take longer walks (not that he minded) and he is only allowed small proportions of grub.  No more all you can eat.  Let’s not forget, the worst case scenario, he will need surgery to remove the aluminum foil.”  Kyle pondered my summary and nodded in agreement.

By Sunday, Seven was running around and playing, although early in the morning he was making a retching noise like he was going to blow chunks, but nothing.

Once Monday rolled around, to ensure all was good, mom took Seven to the vet for an X-ray.  The wad of foil moved from his stomach, through his small intestines and into his large intestines.  Well that’s a good sign, things are moving along so to speak.  The doctor put Seven on these horse pills and re-outlined his eating choices.  He was allowed dog food and a special treat, Mom was to give him a slice of bread a day coated in Vaseline.  Yuck!  As mom said it, I was gagging.  Kyle was talking to mom on the phone at the time and all I heard was Kyle inaccurately repeating “You have to give him bread with gasoline?”  Kyle was horror struck!  All of a sudden, my attention was moved from our ravioli dinner to the conversation.  Once mom clarified she said Vaseline and not gasoline, Kyle was put at rest.  A little disgusted but not alarmed.

During all this, something struck me as a mystery.  I asked mom how they got Seven to sit still while they took the X-ray.  As a waving thought mom uttered, “You know, I’m not sure. I wasn’t allowed to go back with him.”  Outraged, I retorted, “Mom! They probably clubbed him and you didn’t know!” Kyle busted out laughing at that comment, which did uncover a giggle from me. To reassure us of Seven’s well-being, mom interjected, “I think they gassed him.”  To make it easier on everyone involved on this call, Kyle and I were listening to the conversation on speaker phone.  We both looked at each other after that declaration and lost all control and busted out laughing.  The way mom blurted that out, was too funny!  Not letting and opportunity like that one pass me up, I added, “That’s what we need, is for that dog to have more gas!”  All three of us found such humor at the expense of Seven.

Needless to say when a member of the Piper family is in trouble, the rest of the family is on standby, following up and offering support.  Mom has been keeping us all in the loop via email, phone and text.  On Tuesday, I received an email from mom stating that she had to sleep on the couch with Seven on the floor beside her.  Apparently, those pills gave him gas and mom was afraid of Seven having an accident in bed.  She said every time the dog passed gas, she would get up and take him outside in case he had to make a deposit.  Nothing!  Not really finding this funny, probably due to a lack of sleep, mom said, “He would just stand on the porch and look at me like ‘what?’.”  That’s our Seven.  Who would have thought we would be going through this when we picked him up from the pound.

As of today, there were no accidents in Seven’s corralled area of the kitchen.  Did he pass the aluminum foil?  No one really knows for certain, due to the fact the restroom for the dogs is in the woods.  There could be a foil lined pile of crap by a big tree.  I’ll take them for an extra long hike this weekend to make sure everything is moving along, but Seven seems happy and healthy and Scooby is excited he is no longer on a diet. Our boys, they are such a part of the Piper family.  As I’ve said to Kyle greed is a shiny turd!

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.  ~Andy Rooney

When did dogs start acting like two year olds? Scooby a blond Labrador Retriever of about six years and Seven, a black Labrador Retriever of about 2 and a half years have stepped back in the terms of maturity.  They always get in trouble, I believe that’s unavoidable, but recently they are completely out of control.  They live with my parents so it’s not like I have to deal with them everyday, however if that was the case, they would have no choice but to straighten up.  Over the last few weeks, we’ve been at our wits end with these defiant kids.

Now what could those adorable dogs have done that sparked this blog entry?  Let… me… tell… you!  But first, in order to really understand the stories, I have to explain each dog’s behavioral and characteristics physical.

Let’s start with the old hand of the household, Scooby.  He is a little bit chubby, slower moving by choice, except when there’s food around; very stubborn, yet a sensitive dog.  When he’s scolded, he looks like he’s ready to cry.  However, he will push the boundaries and break rules, especially when no one is looking.  He tries to get away with as much as possible.  Scooby is not a people person, ironic since he’s a Lab.  In fact, he hates anyone he doesn’t know and is particularly protective of Kyle.  Not so much now-a-days but years ago.  If I was chasing Kyle around the house or tickling him while Kyle screamed, Scooby’s hair would stand on end and the dog would give me this look like, ‘Keep going and I WILL take you down.’  I don’t think he’s particularly friendly to kids.  We’ve never wanted to test that theory out, even though Scooby’s been around Kyle since he was five years old or so.

If Scooby was a person, he would not be athletic and he’s certainly not agile.  He does however, have an iron stomach.  He can eat anything at any time including a stick of butter, silver wrapper and all.  True story!  Scooby’s never had very good eyesight or hearing, but like a true Lab he uses his olfactory senses to lead his way.

Now, the new pup we got from the pound about a year and a half ago when he was two.  Already named Seven when we picked him up, he slowly became a part of the household. I say slowly because Scooby wasn’t very welcoming of the addition and Pudd’in (rest in peace) hated him.  Seven is not very sensitive, he could care less if he runs into you, knocks you down and leaves a big bruise.  He will jump on your chest and kick the wind out of your lungs without so much as a second glance.  Seven is pretty obedient but he does manage to get in trouble.  Over the years, he’s been really following Scooby’s lead.

Seven is a very, very hyperactive dog, still running around like a little puppy, a puppy that is too big for the house and is as strong as an ox.  Seven is the athlete, he is agile and his body is longer than Scooby’s, allowing him to access additional areas out of reach from most dogs.  Seven has a more sensitive stomach.  If he eats too much of what he shouldn’t, then it takes a toll on his digestive track, which builds a smell in the house so potent you just want to die.  Also unlike Scooby, Seven’s senses are spot on.  His hearing, eyesight and smell are all every acute.

Within the last year, Seven has been a big bully to Scooby.  When they’re in the backyard running around and playing, Seven will wait on the opposite end of the yard and take a running charge toward Scooby to ram him and roll him on his back.  It’s horrible!  We yell at Seven, but we can’t always catch it quick enough.  Seven also bites Scooby, his legs, face, neck.  I mean sometimes he looks like a grizzly bear attacking a helpless chunky blond animal.  I’ve noticed Scooy has been loosing weight.  Well, there’s a very good reason, Seven has been snapping at him when he goes to eat.  What?  Seven has not been letting Scooby eat from his own bowl!  Again when we see this injustice, we address it immediately, the only problem is no one is home during the day.

Both dogs love attention and love to be held; in fact they wish they were small enough to be lap dogs.  But Scooby’s 87 pounds and Seven’s 77 pounds pose a little problem to sit with comfortably in a chair.  Scooby is the one who seems to need attention and affection more.  Seven does as well, but his is more a need to show up Scooby.  Seven is the ‘If he gets it I want it’ type child.  Now don’t get me wrong, Scooby can act the same way, but Scooby is the cuddle type.  Both dogs love to chase birds from the yard, specifically wild turkeys and don’t get them near deer.  They will take off so fast, sometimes I swear they wearing capes.  Both dogs would be good hunting dogs, except Scooby is afraid of guns. Now Seven on the other hand, is the complete opposite, he loves to go out with us when we shoot in the guns.

Now let’s really discuss their eating habits.  Both beasts love to eat!  I know this is not unusual behavior for dogs, but they seriously don’t care what they are eating and how much.  I’ve seen them get into the garbage.  Not long ago Scooby got into the garbage and pulled out a contain of chicken livers.  No!  We don’t eat them, dad buys them to use a bait.  Scooby pulled this old container out of the trash and proceeded to enjoy his feast until we found out.  Gross!!  Dad said his breath was so rank, he couldn’t even stomach Scooby near him.  Now that the stage is set.  This is where my story begins.

Over the last couple weeks, the dogs have literally been eating us out of house and home.  It started with the tomatoes.  This is the best time to explain Scooby’s infatuation for tomatoes!  When we have a garden, Scooby has be kept out because he has been busted picking the tomatoes off of the plants and eating them.  Seven eats tomatoes too, but my guess is he’s following suit from Scooby.  Dad is a huge fan of the fruit stand, shopping there everyday in the summer.  A couple of weeks ago, dad bought an entire bag of tomatoes, probably around 20 to 30 nice sized tomatoes.  Did dad place them on the floor?  Nope!  He had them up on the bakers rack in the kitchen.  When mom and dad came home after work, the tomatoes were missing and there was a mess on the kitchen floor.  Upon closer inspection, the mess was not contained in the kitchen but went into the living-room where remnants of tomato seeds and juice were left.  This mess was all over the floor and their beds.  The dogs ate all the tomatoes!  Where they trying to promote diarrhea?

Now mom has been putting the tomatoes in the oven to store them out of sight.  Putting the tomatoes in the refrigerator takes the tastes away.  So that was the best immediate solution we could muster.  Trying to take the temptation away from them.  None of us like to yell at the dogs, and we certainly don’t like seeing them in trouble.

The tomato situation can almost be forgiven, considering Scooby’s craving for tomatoes.  But what happens next, is not excusable.  Last weekend, I bought about four loaves of bread for mom and dad.  Placing the bread on the bakers rack, where it has been stored for years, I never thought I was doing something wrong or enticing.  Wrong!  Last Monday; mom and dad came home to shredded plastic bread bags on the floor and not a crumb to be found.  They ate all four loaves of bread!  Are they preparing for a heavy weight championship?  What is up with these dogs?  The bread has been assigned to that location for a long time now, never to be disturbed until recently.  Now when you walk into the kitchen, the bread resides beside the tomatoes in the oven.

That’s not all, for the last few weeks, periodically when mom makes dad a sandwich, all mom has to do is turn her back for a second and the hounds engulf dad’s grub.  Well, let me be exact, all of it except for the hot pepper in the sandwich.  They apparently don’t like hot peppers, but that doesn’t stop them, the warriors manage to pick out the pepper and eat the rest of the goodies.

Here’s a good one that I would have completely lost it.  Mom bought her and dad dinner the one night, roast beef sandwiches.  Mom thought she could outsmart the dogs by placing the sandwiches, placed in the containers in the center of the kitchen table, surrounded by cans while she was preoccupied.  Would you believe they are so brazen to get all the way up on the table and take the containers to the floor and eat out of them like it was their dinner?  I shouldn’t be surprised.  Mom should have known better by now, but it’s still a shock.  We deduced that Seven and Scooby are working in tandem.  There is no way Scooby would be able to get up that high, but Seven would have no problem clearing the distance.

Both dogs are also jumping on all of us.  They are not allowed to jump on people.  They are not listening when we call them to come in from playing outside.  They are just acting out, worse than children.  Last week, I was off work in the middle of the week.  It was a beautiful day, so I thought I would take the boys out for a nice long hike, thinking that would help to the keep them out of trouble.  Would you believe as I opened my car door to retrieve my hat for the hike, both dogs stormed the small opening into the car and jumped in, muddy paws and all?  I was so ticked, I almost couldn’t yell!  They never just jump into my car.  Never!  They know I don’t allow it.

Then, later that very same day, I noticed Storms kitten food was licked clean out of her bowl.  Really?  Storm never licks her bowl clean.  Then I see her cat food bag was opened enough for a large head to stick his mouth in there and feed on kitten food.  Are you kidding me?  These dogs are not hungry!  And really?  Did they need to eat the kitten little nibbles, Meow mix?  Now, I had no proof, which one of the children did it, but it didn’t make me happy none-the-less.  They have their down Dad’s Trail Mix.

What has gotten into the boys?  Why are they lashing out like two-year old children all of a sudden?  The dogs are not ignored, neglected, or without privilege.  It’s also not like they are jealous of my kitten.  I got Storm months ago, so that didn’t change.  Mom told me she thinks it’s because her and dad have been working long hours.  Apparently in the eyes of Scooby and Seven, bad attention is still attention.  I’ve always noticed Dog Acting Like Kids.  I hope this phase ends soon or these dogs are going to get it!

Sometimes at the best moments a single word or a look is enough.  ~ Honore de Balzac

Kelly Berger sportin' the new DX fleece!

Everyone once in a while I notice something that I want to share with Kyle, just for the simple fact I know he’ll get a kick out of it.  Not to mention, I also get a kick out of showing him.  Working at an ad agency I do see a lot of websites, videos, advertisements and such.  Staying on top of what’s being circulated and viralized is the name of the game.  It helps with creative freedom and, believe it or not, it helps with discovering new ways of using technology, new ways to push the limits, and new ways of thinking and the list goes on and on.

Anyway, sometimes things come across my desk, or should I say across my laptop, that start to become a trend, at least in my own little world.  That trend seems to creep its way throughout all parts of my life.  Regardless of how it started and where it goes, it’s funny!

Kelly our graphic designer instant messaged me this video.  You see, not only is Kelly a great graphic designer and the best at keeping me updated on the weather, but she is the queen of all things with animals in videos!  Once I saw this video, I couldn’t help it, I started to repeat the phrase, “Ya.. Ya..” Then I showed Kyle the video and we both really, truly laughed.  I can’t even begin to tell you how many times we watched the video.

I didn’t realize what a playful impact that video had on everyone I knew who watched it.  That is, until someone says, “Ya… Ya..” with the look of, ‘I’m acting like a dog’.  In fact, last week Kyle said, “Ya” to me and then quickly adjusted his tone and proceeded to say, “Ya… Ya..”  He smiled and gave me a look of  ‘You know what I’m referring to’.  Then, ’cause it’s so addictive, I started saying, “Ya… Ya..” too!  How funny!

But what really struck me was how this video crept into a creative meeting at work.  During the meeting my boss said, “Ya..Ya..” out of nowhere.  Then, as if rehearsed on cue, I said, “Ya.. Ya..” and then went into the script, “and I had some bacon… and I gave it to the cat…NOOOO.”

Well I guess, without further adieu, please watch the video that started the trend of talking like a dog.  And when you think to yourself, “Was it worth it?” I bet you’ll be saying, “Ya… Ya..”