If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.  ~Andy Rooney

When did dogs start acting like two year olds? Scooby a blond Labrador Retriever of about six years and Seven, a black Labrador Retriever of about 2 and a half years have stepped back in the terms of maturity.  They always get in trouble, I believe that’s unavoidable, but recently they are completely out of control.  They live with my parents so it’s not like I have to deal with them everyday, however if that was the case, they would have no choice but to straighten up.  Over the last few weeks, we’ve been at our wits end with these defiant kids.

Now what could those adorable dogs have done that sparked this blog entry?  Let… me… tell… you!  But first, in order to really understand the stories, I have to explain each dog’s behavioral and characteristics physical.

Let’s start with the old hand of the household, Scooby.  He is a little bit chubby, slower moving by choice, except when there’s food around; very stubborn, yet a sensitive dog.  When he’s scolded, he looks like he’s ready to cry.  However, he will push the boundaries and break rules, especially when no one is looking.  He tries to get away with as much as possible.  Scooby is not a people person, ironic since he’s a Lab.  In fact, he hates anyone he doesn’t know and is particularly protective of Kyle.  Not so much now-a-days but years ago.  If I was chasing Kyle around the house or tickling him while Kyle screamed, Scooby’s hair would stand on end and the dog would give me this look like, ‘Keep going and I WILL take you down.’  I don’t think he’s particularly friendly to kids.  We’ve never wanted to test that theory out, even though Scooby’s been around Kyle since he was five years old or so.

If Scooby was a person, he would not be athletic and he’s certainly not agile.  He does however, have an iron stomach.  He can eat anything at any time including a stick of butter, silver wrapper and all.  True story!  Scooby’s never had very good eyesight or hearing, but like a true Lab he uses his olfactory senses to lead his way.

Now, the new pup we got from the pound about a year and a half ago when he was two.  Already named Seven when we picked him up, he slowly became a part of the household. I say slowly because Scooby wasn’t very welcoming of the addition and Pudd’in (rest in peace) hated him.  Seven is not very sensitive, he could care less if he runs into you, knocks you down and leaves a big bruise.  He will jump on your chest and kick the wind out of your lungs without so much as a second glance.  Seven is pretty obedient but he does manage to get in trouble.  Over the years, he’s been really following Scooby’s lead.

Seven is a very, very hyperactive dog, still running around like a little puppy, a puppy that is too big for the house and is as strong as an ox.  Seven is the athlete, he is agile and his body is longer than Scooby’s, allowing him to access additional areas out of reach from most dogs.  Seven has a more sensitive stomach.  If he eats too much of what he shouldn’t, then it takes a toll on his digestive track, which builds a smell in the house so potent you just want to die.  Also unlike Scooby, Seven’s senses are spot on.  His hearing, eyesight and smell are all every acute.

Within the last year, Seven has been a big bully to Scooby.  When they’re in the backyard running around and playing, Seven will wait on the opposite end of the yard and take a running charge toward Scooby to ram him and roll him on his back.  It’s horrible!  We yell at Seven, but we can’t always catch it quick enough.  Seven also bites Scooby, his legs, face, neck.  I mean sometimes he looks like a grizzly bear attacking a helpless chunky blond animal.  I’ve noticed Scooy has been loosing weight.  Well, there’s a very good reason, Seven has been snapping at him when he goes to eat.  What?  Seven has not been letting Scooby eat from his own bowl!  Again when we see this injustice, we address it immediately, the only problem is no one is home during the day.

Both dogs love attention and love to be held; in fact they wish they were small enough to be lap dogs.  But Scooby’s 87 pounds and Seven’s 77 pounds pose a little problem to sit with comfortably in a chair.  Scooby is the one who seems to need attention and affection more.  Seven does as well, but his is more a need to show up Scooby.  Seven is the ‘If he gets it I want it’ type child.  Now don’t get me wrong, Scooby can act the same way, but Scooby is the cuddle type.  Both dogs love to chase birds from the yard, specifically wild turkeys and don’t get them near deer.  They will take off so fast, sometimes I swear they wearing capes.  Both dogs would be good hunting dogs, except Scooby is afraid of guns. Now Seven on the other hand, is the complete opposite, he loves to go out with us when we shoot in the guns.

Now let’s really discuss their eating habits.  Both beasts love to eat!  I know this is not unusual behavior for dogs, but they seriously don’t care what they are eating and how much.  I’ve seen them get into the garbage.  Not long ago Scooby got into the garbage and pulled out a contain of chicken livers.  No!  We don’t eat them, dad buys them to use a bait.  Scooby pulled this old container out of the trash and proceeded to enjoy his feast until we found out.  Gross!!  Dad said his breath was so rank, he couldn’t even stomach Scooby near him.  Now that the stage is set.  This is where my story begins.

Over the last couple weeks, the dogs have literally been eating us out of house and home.  It started with the tomatoes.  This is the best time to explain Scooby’s infatuation for tomatoes!  When we have a garden, Scooby has be kept out because he has been busted picking the tomatoes off of the plants and eating them.  Seven eats tomatoes too, but my guess is he’s following suit from Scooby.  Dad is a huge fan of the fruit stand, shopping there everyday in the summer.  A couple of weeks ago, dad bought an entire bag of tomatoes, probably around 20 to 30 nice sized tomatoes.  Did dad place them on the floor?  Nope!  He had them up on the bakers rack in the kitchen.  When mom and dad came home after work, the tomatoes were missing and there was a mess on the kitchen floor.  Upon closer inspection, the mess was not contained in the kitchen but went into the living-room where remnants of tomato seeds and juice were left.  This mess was all over the floor and their beds.  The dogs ate all the tomatoes!  Where they trying to promote diarrhea?

Now mom has been putting the tomatoes in the oven to store them out of sight.  Putting the tomatoes in the refrigerator takes the tastes away.  So that was the best immediate solution we could muster.  Trying to take the temptation away from them.  None of us like to yell at the dogs, and we certainly don’t like seeing them in trouble.

The tomato situation can almost be forgiven, considering Scooby’s craving for tomatoes.  But what happens next, is not excusable.  Last weekend, I bought about four loaves of bread for mom and dad.  Placing the bread on the bakers rack, where it has been stored for years, I never thought I was doing something wrong or enticing.  Wrong!  Last Monday; mom and dad came home to shredded plastic bread bags on the floor and not a crumb to be found.  They ate all four loaves of bread!  Are they preparing for a heavy weight championship?  What is up with these dogs?  The bread has been assigned to that location for a long time now, never to be disturbed until recently.  Now when you walk into the kitchen, the bread resides beside the tomatoes in the oven.

That’s not all, for the last few weeks, periodically when mom makes dad a sandwich, all mom has to do is turn her back for a second and the hounds engulf dad’s grub.  Well, let me be exact, all of it except for the hot pepper in the sandwich.  They apparently don’t like hot peppers, but that doesn’t stop them, the warriors manage to pick out the pepper and eat the rest of the goodies.

Here’s a good one that I would have completely lost it.  Mom bought her and dad dinner the one night, roast beef sandwiches.  Mom thought she could outsmart the dogs by placing the sandwiches, placed in the containers in the center of the kitchen table, surrounded by cans while she was preoccupied.  Would you believe they are so brazen to get all the way up on the table and take the containers to the floor and eat out of them like it was their dinner?  I shouldn’t be surprised.  Mom should have known better by now, but it’s still a shock.  We deduced that Seven and Scooby are working in tandem.  There is no way Scooby would be able to get up that high, but Seven would have no problem clearing the distance.

Both dogs are also jumping on all of us.  They are not allowed to jump on people.  They are not listening when we call them to come in from playing outside.  They are just acting out, worse than children.  Last week, I was off work in the middle of the week.  It was a beautiful day, so I thought I would take the boys out for a nice long hike, thinking that would help to the keep them out of trouble.  Would you believe as I opened my car door to retrieve my hat for the hike, both dogs stormed the small opening into the car and jumped in, muddy paws and all?  I was so ticked, I almost couldn’t yell!  They never just jump into my car.  Never!  They know I don’t allow it.

Then, later that very same day, I noticed Storms kitten food was licked clean out of her bowl.  Really?  Storm never licks her bowl clean.  Then I see her cat food bag was opened enough for a large head to stick his mouth in there and feed on kitten food.  Are you kidding me?  These dogs are not hungry!  And really?  Did they need to eat the kitten little nibbles, Meow mix?  Now, I had no proof, which one of the children did it, but it didn’t make me happy none-the-less.  They have their down Dad’s Trail Mix.

What has gotten into the boys?  Why are they lashing out like two-year old children all of a sudden?  The dogs are not ignored, neglected, or without privilege.  It’s also not like they are jealous of my kitten.  I got Storm months ago, so that didn’t change.  Mom told me she thinks it’s because her and dad have been working long hours.  Apparently in the eyes of Scooby and Seven, bad attention is still attention.  I’ve always noticed Dog Acting Like Kids.  I hope this phase ends soon or these dogs are going to get it!