Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.  ~August Wilson

Gram doesn’t look too happy. She shouldn’t with that cigarette in her hand, especially around a kid, inside.  How selfish!  We should be yelling at her!  Christmas 1979

You know, I will admit television programming has gone down hill, at least from when I was a kid.  The days of watching The Brady Bunch and Wonder Woman are over.  Now don’t get me wrong, I like some of the shows and yes some are too violent in my opinion for Kyle to watch, however I enjoy them.

For the most part, all the shows, mostly the reality ones strike a never with me.  If you sit there and flip through the channels, everyone is yelling.  I mean disrespect, profanities, and sometimes shoving accompanies the yelling.  What is up with that?  I didn’t realize it till I was sitting there reading a book and listening to dad flip the channels.  Literally, it was yelling, turn channel, yelling, turn channel, yelling.  Friend is screaming at friend, neighbor fighting with neighbor, husband belittling wife (and visa versa), dad scolding son (and visa versa) and stranger hollering at another stranger.  What is so upsetting?

Example, Bar Rescue, Hardcore Pawn, Pawn Stars are even starting to belittle each other, Food Channel is usually pretty good but they are embracing the yelling culture during food challenges, Hell’s Kitchen, Hotel Impossible etc.  Come on, aren’t you trying to help the businesses or participants?  Is yelling really going to help?  Perhaps sometimes, but not ALL the time.  Let’s not get into the other reality shows like the Bachelor/Bachelorette, news channels, talk shows and those family reality shows.  Instead of respecting one another, they try and talk over the other person, or worse they will actually scream ‘Shut UP!’.  Rude!  The loudest voice is not necessarily the right one.  Again, I don’t watch these shows, but I’ve seen them in advertisements and I’ve caught glimpses during while surfing.

I guess that’s what sells, yelling and confrontations.  So in a way yelling equals money.  Perhaps I should have skipped college and worked on my arguing skills.

Granted, I really don’t watch that much television and when I do it involves The Big Bang Theory, Mike & Molly, Elementary, or The Originals.  I do enjoy the O’ Reilly Factor, he doesn’t yell!  In fact, he stops people from talking over one another and he doesn’t raise his voice in the process.  Intelligent civil debates I can handle, but yelling and finger pointing and blaming the world for your split ends is ridiculous.

The sad part is, no one is even hearing each other.  Sometimes they are not even making sense, they are just screaming for the sake of screaming or perhaps for the cameras.  Regardless, it’s distracting and I believe it’s toxic.  We wonder why there is so much violence and road rage?  Simple, anger is instilled in everyone, especially when you’re being brainwashed for hours a day in front of the boob tube.  You become calloused to the verbal violence and then it becomes natural.

When Kyle was little, he was NEVER allowed to say ‘Shut Up’ to anyone, EVER!  And if he raised his voice, he was timed-out or a mark was placed on his behavior chart.  I get it.  There are times when yelling is necessary, especially to drive a point home or get someone’s attention, but again NOT ALL the time.

In fact, I remember once when Nicole and I were arguing about Lord knows what.  Kyle had to be about three or so.  Nicole slapped me on the arm.  Not hard, but she did make the gesture out of frustration.  Kyle was mortified!  He went running to my mom and said, “Gigi, Gigi, Aunt Nitti hit Aiya for no reason!”  He even demonstrated the motion.  It was too cute actually, except he was obviously distraught over this behavior.  I truly believe he was changed at that moment, forever.  You can’t tell me that being in that environment, (not that I’m saying that’s a standard environment in our household) even though it was seriously very brief before we retreated to our corners for Kyle’s sake, doesn’t effect everyone in one way or another.  Granted Kyle didn’t and still doesn’t grow up in a violent household, at least not around us, but I’m sure many kids do.  It’s the point that even a brief moment of yelling and arguing effects everyone it encounters, let alone watching it for hours a day.

This is the best! Mom yelling while wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Have a Nice Day’! Too funny! c. 1980′s

My grandmother used to yell constantly, mostly to my grandpap, who was a quiet man.  Keep in mind, my grandma isn’t exactly the poster child for proper or nurturing behavior either.  Personally, I still hear enough yelling from my mom.  In fact, the older she gets the more she yells and not at specific instances, at EVERYTHING!  She’s embracing the yelling culture.  To be fair to mom, it’s not day and night like I’m making it sound, but at short stents, which again is too much for me.

As kids when we would get hurt, she’d yell at us first.  When we did something bad, understandably she’d yell.  Sometimes when we asked a question, she’d respond by yelling first.  Yikes!  Stop raising your voice!  Mom claimed that no one in her family ever fought or raised their voices, including my grandpap Chester, my Uncle Walter and Aunt Mary and the list goes on.  So what changed her?  My guess, marrying into the family and listening to my grandma.  Perhaps that’s the Risher (Alice Piper) trait.

My brother was never like that, he was more quiet, mirroring my pap, unless really really really provoked.  My dad is hit or miss, but he’s usually quiet unless again he’s pushed.  My sister on the other hand is great dealing with other people, but when it comes to the family, yelling all the way.

Why is it so important in our pop culture to scream and yell?  Granted, I am not innocent to such actions, but it takes me a while to get that fired up and it’s only over a good reason.  I will raise my voice and act out if I’m trying to make a point, usually including Kyle.  However, there are instances when I just plain loose my patience and go off the deep end, but those I attempt to manage, trying to keep my cool and not add to an environment of yelling.  It only puts everyone in a bad mood including myself and I hate being in a bad mood.

Seriously, I’ve heard it from many, with instances of calling the phone company or the cable company or a retail store or school.  Everyone is fired up and ready for a screaming battle.  Perhaps if they didn’t go into battle with that sort of expectation, then compromises would be made or solutions would be found sooner rather than later.

Even thinking about all the yelling does put me on edge.  I can’t be the only person who’s noticed it and who detests this form of communication.  Am I?

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days when I was six and my biggest problem was what kind of dress to put on Barbie or whether or not I had enough Legos to build a fort.  ~Unknown

Kyle being held by a giant Lego Hulk. @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

It has been nearly a week since the Lego Kids Fest in Pittsburgh and it’s still being relived by Kyle, daily.  Like many others, I purchased our tickets in advance online to ensure our coveted spot.  Nicole was suppose to join us, but alas she couldn’t make it home for Lego Fest 2012, guess she’ll have to catch up next year.  On a side note, there should be some sort of site for those who have extra tickets to give them away.  Buying two adult tickets and one child and only using one adult and one child was a little costly.  Not that I ever wanted reimbursement, I just didn’t want the money to go to waste.  Anyway, Aunt Nikki participated through social means as much as possible.  Used correctly, social media really does bring families together.

Originally, when I saw Lego Fest on Facebook, I was going to get our tickets and surprise Kyle, but I blew it.  When we were talking about Kyle’s schedule and everything going on with hunting season, youth group and school, I accidentally let it slip.  His eyes got really big and was in kind of shock.  He started to say something, but then his brain caught up to my words and registered before saying, “Wait? What?  Did you say we’re going to Lego Fest?”  I could see my statement replaying in his brain, making sense of the words as if he was learning a foreign language.   Now I couldn’t deny it, so I did what I usually do when I want to be coy.  I flashed Kyle a huge ornery grin and shot him a wink.  He instantly went running to my mom saying, “Gigi, Gigi did you hear?  I’m going to Lego Fest!”  That’s my Kyle!  Always focused on the word Lego.

Me & Kyle on a huge pile of Legos! @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

Everyone, who is even remotely familiar with our family and Kyle, knows Kyle’s LOVE of Legos.  Maybe that’s a bit of an understatement, he has an infatuation for the multicolored plastic building blocks.  One might say I added fuel to his already obsessive fire with the Lego Kids Fest event.

With the weeks leading up to Leo Fest, Kyle really impressed me.  He was on his best, and I mean being the champion and poster child for a well behaved kid.  Did I also mention he made a conscience effort to point out this behavior?  To ensure it was not overlooked.  He knew the stakes, and was not about to gamble with his victory ticket to attend an event solely revolved around Legos.  To be honest, I was really excited to take him and let him experience the popularity of Legos with those of like minds.  I knew this was a dream of his and if there was anyone who would appreciate Lego Fest, it was Kyle.

Me & Kyle posing with Lego Harry Potter & Lego Hagrid… I couldn’t get over how enormous Hagrid was.. @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

One day, hopefully before he outgrows Legos, I will take him to California or Florida to visit Legoland.  He’s been asking for years to fly him to California to be surrounded by all things Lego.  He really wants to go for his birthday, but that’s such an expensive birthday gift and I never just wanted to take Kyle, I would want my parents and my sister to also tag along to share in Kyle’s enthusiasm.  Maybe that should be my next goal to work toward, making it happen.

By now, I thought Kyle would have outgrown Legos.  After all he’s 11 years old.  Nope, he loves them equally as much now, as he did when he first laid his pudgy little fingers on the Lego pieces.  In fact, the bridge built between Kyle and Legos has strengthened with every building block put together over the years.  I don’t remember who gave him his first Lego set, probably his Aunt Nikki, but it was all downhill from there.

He always loved to build, even as a tiny kid just able to walk.  He started with his first Thomas the Tank Engine set, courtesy of Aunt Nikki.  Now don’t get me wrong, he enjoyed playing with the train set, but he really liked to build the tracks, making each configuration more challenging and exciting than the last.  His setup looked like a miniature roller coaster ride for trains.

Then, came the puzzles, first easy ones all the way into thousand plus piece sets.  His building interest moved onto Legos and Bionicles.  I will take credit for the love of Bionicles.  Kyle won a bet with me and for his winnings he chose a Bionicle.  At the time he was five years old and the box stated it was for eight or older, but I figured he could put it together, which he did with ease.  Now, the Legos started off small and his collection has expanded to overtake several bedrooms at multiple houses.  Kyle still likes the smaller Legos, but his newest obsession is putting together Legos with thousands of pieces.  It’s almost a badge of honor he wears when tackling such challenges.  He loves to brag about the number of pieces the Lego set has and his anticipated ETA for project completion.  Too much!  Once he has the Lego set built, he does play with them just like any other toy, but that’s secondary to the real pleasure of building.  Remember Going Retro with Star Wars Legos?

Kyle showing off our Lego Twin Towers (slightly modified for our own creative expression) @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

Saturday morning Kyle and I were up bright and early to get ready for the 9:00 am session of Lego Kids Fest 2012.  It was held at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center in Pittsburgh.  As I expected, especially with a sold out event, there were lots of parents and loads of kids.  I thought it was going to be a struggle getting in and walking around, but I was pleasantly surprised.  The convention center moved everyone in with ease and once inside, all activity areas were spaced out pretty well and all booths were labeled adequately.  When I bought the tickets, I anticipated Kyle being at the older end of the age spectrum, but he was not!  There were kids of all ages, mostly his age and younger, but every age bracket was present.  As we moseyed around I saw that look, the same one Kyle has shown be time and time again coming from other parents.  Yes!  The parents!  Some where more obvious than others, but as the adults built alongside their kids, the look was definitely there.  It was the Lego obsession that had remained dormant in the over sized kids and was now shining through their eyes into their creations.  Some parents where so engrossed in building, they had no idea what was going on around them.  Yep, that’s Kyle as an adult!  I just saw the future, and it still involves Legos!

Kyle hanging out at the Lego Club section @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

The minute we walked in and Kyle saw the Lego signs hanging from the ceiling, he was in complete awe!  He couldn’t focus on which direction to go first and what he wanted to do.  His brain was in overdrive!  He really couldn’t contain himself, he wanted to do everything all at once, at that moment.  Even though it was his day and his experience, I stepped in to guide him around the floor to take it all in first before participating in any one event.

We had a blast!  I must admit, I was so impressed with the event and how it was handled.  But what really struck my fancy was the Lego artwork.  Amazing!  Really!  As we approached the Batman sitting on the edge of a building scene,  I couldn’t help put touch the structure, even though there was clearly a sign instructing all visitors not to.  Upon closer inspection, I realized the pedestal in which he was residing was made out of Legos!  Unbelievable!  Even the huge Lighting McQueen!  Those displays were by far my favorite part of Lego Fest!  I wanted to keep walking through the Lego sculptures, however I was told differently by a somewhat patient young man.  Kyle was kind enough to entertain my picture taking nature and after we got a few snapshots, Kyle was ready to move on.  They were truly pieces of art and I appreciated the effort and talent behind each display.

Kyle with Dan the Lego Master Builder @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

On the far side of the event, there was a huge section to build pieces of the United States.  Actually, everything about Lego Fest was huge, so let’s get that straight, huge was the new norm.  Anyway there was this roped off section which, was an outline of the United States with white Legos.  On the other side, they had tables set up with an unlimited supply of Legos building blocks.  Every color, every shape, every size known to man in large bins ready to be put together.  All the children and adults alike, were encouraged to build their own creations to complete a map sculpture of the United States and certain landmarks, or whatever was dreamt up by the creator.  Everyone had the opportunity to build as high or as wide or as fancy or as conservative as desired.  There was no end to the supply of Legos and no time constraints.  It was seriously so cool!  Even I helped Kyle, getting a bit of Lego fever myself.  When the artwork was completed, we were instructed to give it to a Lego representative to place it wherever we wanted it to go.  Then brilliantly promoted, we could take a picture of our Lego creation and post it to the Lego Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest, which I did as instructed by Kyle.  He was excited to have everyone connected to Lego see his building.  We built a modified version of the Twin Towers.  I’m not sure why that was chosen, but it was Kyle’s vision and who am I to stifle creativity.

There was another section where they just had Lego’s dumped in the middle of this large area.  Children where crawling all over the small pieces and building and having a blast!  It looked like too much fun, I wanted to join in.  Kyle wasn’t that enthused with sitting on Lego’s with the smaller kids, so I was happy when he allowed me to get a picture.  As I was doing so, a Lego worker showed up at my side and offered to get both of us in the picture.  I was so excited to sit in the pile of Legos!  It was at that time, that I seriously started to catch the Lego bug.  It’s addictive.

Kyle posing in front of the Lego Pharaoh. Too Funny! @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

While walking around and participating in the raffle and other displays, we managed to run into friends of ours at the ramp races.  Out of all those thousands of people we literally bump into people we knew, the Tobins.  It was great seeing them!  I looked around for my cousin Denise too, but I’ll be darned if I saw her and the family among the sea of people and kids.

Naturally, we hit up the Lego store area.  It was an insane confined space with of out of control parents and their kids.  Being a claustrophobic person, I had a hard time standing in the roped off area with Kyle while he made his decision on his next project.  Again, to give Lego another shout out, they had it every organized and the flow of buyers moved along pretty quickly and with ease.  It helped that the Lego workers stood out in their matching shirts and there seemed to be swarms of them.  With much deliberation, Kyle finally made up his mind with the Lego Lord of the Rings. Good choice buddy!

As we neared the end of our Lego experience, Kyle spotted one of the Lego Master Builders walking around and talking with parents.  Kyle had this star stuck look in his eyes, like he was about to meet a famous person.  The Lego Master Builder had his own type of uniform top with his name on it, which Kyle noticed.  My little man just stood their patiently waiting for the Lego Master and some parents to complete their conversation, as to not be rude and interrupt.  He so desperately wanted to meet this Lego celebrity and get his picture with him.  Dan, as I later found out was the Master Builder’s name, was great with Kyle and took the time to pose for a picture.  Boy did that just top off Kyle’s day!  As we exited stage right, I walked alongside one little boy who was beaming from ear to ear.  On a side note, he instantly pulled out his free Lego given because he was a Lego Club Member.  He started to contemplate when he was going to put it together.  The decisions of a young mind!

Me in front of the Lego Superfriends! @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

On our ride home the conversation was naturally all things Lego.  That was a really neat event!  Kyle decided he wanted to build his very own life size Lego man.  Actually, I thought that would be the coolest thing for his bedroom!  Even I considered having one made for my house!  After all, even though they are toys, I do consider them pieces of art, fun art!  I told Kyle he should go into business building those Lego sculptures and rent or sell them for kids birthday parties, something to match the birthday theme.  He loved the idea!  We might start looking into this for him.

The day after we ran into other friends of ours who attended the Sunday session.  They were equally as impressed!  Marty told me that he was talking to someone about the United States section.  He gave me some fun facts, which I did not know.  He said, they actually had to tear down the United States section on Friday night because it was completely full.  He also said they take the built pieces to sick or handicap children and have them disassemble the structures, then ship the building blocks to be sanitized before returning them to be built into something from another child’s or adult’s imagination.  Lego pays these children for this job.  That’s awesome!  I love hearing stories like these.  Great job Lego!

Lego Creation Nation! @LegoKidsFest 12/1/12

I’m surprised Kyle didn’t know that fun fact.  After all, while we were driving down to Lego Fest, Kyle began to shoot statistics at me that he read from his monthly Lego magazine.  Example, he began to tell me how much it costs to make one mold for a brick and he even knew how many bricks can be made in a day.  I which I could recall the numbers, but unfortunately I didn’t commit that to memory.

Well Lego, great job!  You certainly have a serious fan who will probably be so his entire life.

The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.  ~Carl Jung

You know sometimes I can be a bit of a goof.  That is, for no reason I  just start acting silly.  Doesn’t matter where I’m at, who’s around me, what I’m doing, sometimes I just need to bust free from the moment and escape before coming back to “normal”.  I’ve always been like this, and I forget how my family and friends are just used to me.  Even Kyle knows no difference.  He either ignores me or joins in on the fun.

You see these outbursts have created some very funny scenes and characters.  Example, I’ve always carried the movie Flash Dance in my heart, not because of the good storyline or acting, cause it reached neither, but it was a movie about the passion and love to fulfill a dream to dance.  Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always wanted to dance.  All sorts of dance.  I did take a year of tap when I was a little tyke, but the lessons and costumes became expensive, not to mention it was difficult to get us back and forth to the lessons.  Thus ended my career in dance.  Well, that is to say if I actually had a talent, I could have made a career out of it, which actually I think I could have.

So what does Flash Dance have to do with my silliness?  There are two reasons.  Maniac by Michael Sembello and What a Feeling by Irene Cara performed by Jennifer Beals with body double, Marine Jahan.  I made a dance to each song similar to the ones performed in the movie, kinda.  In fact, one time my sister and I were somewhere and I think it was Maniac came on the radio or TV, and it seemed to stop me in my tracks. I stopped, and turned toward my sister with a smirk on my face, and instantly she knew what I was thinking.  Nicole laughed, gave me a smile and replied, “Yes Heather”, with a ‘My sister is so weird but funny’ type of tone to her voice.  Actually I think I’ve had more injuries resulting from that dance than from snowboarding.  Once, when Nicole was home from college, I was kicking around the living-room to What A Feeling and I kicked her crate full of video tapes with the top of my foot.  I actually thought my foot was broken.  My sister busted out laughing and my brother just sat there with a smirk on his face like ‘idiot’.  I even think he rolled his eyes at me.  On another occasion, I was wearing a long skirt and one of the songs same on the TV for a commercial.  I instantly started dancing and flailing my arms and legs around, and the next thing I knew I was laying with my shoulders square to the floor.  I kicked too high for my skirt and the makeshift booby trap pulled my grounded leg out from under me.  Ahh I guess that happens.  On a side note, as I’m typing this What a Feeling just came on the radio!

Anyway, there have been more songs that I have made up dances.  As an influential kid, besides adoring Princess Leia, I loved Wonder Woman!  Yep the cartoon and the shows.  Of course I was too young to watch the original shows, but every summer I caught the re-runs.  I used to run around in my swim suit, with a head band, those workout wrist bands, and a jump rope on my hip.  I loved the fact that we both had dark hair.  Over the years I created my impersonation of Wonder Woman, and yes it includes spinning around in a circle with my hair in a ponytail, loosely placed, so it would come out and I could run off to save the day.

Then let’s not forget Fame! …. remember my name.  O yes, back to the first paragraph where I wanted to be a trained dancer.  I watched the show Fame on Sundays and loved it, loved Debbie Allen, loved the idea of going to a school to dance! My “Fame” dance included trying to do a split leap and yelling out FAME!.  Of course it was more fun to do it across a doorway to take people off guard in another room.  Now I’m not saying what I accomplished was a split leap, but it was funny.

Then there’s the Dirty Dance dance.  No it’s not bad!  It included placing your arms out in front of you in the air as if someone was dancing with you and moving your hips and feet in a cha cha motion.  Then doing this in a circle just as Jennifer Grey did when she practiced by herself in the movie.

My friend Christina and I made up a few little ditties.  One was the steam press, where you’d set a folded piece of clothing on a chair and the other sits on it and makes a “Purshhhh’ sound, like an industrial iron pressing the cloths with steam.  And of course my favorite, the Bee.  We would fly around making buzzing sounds like we were bees, then we would move our backsides in a direction to touch someone with our tooshies and say, “Buzzzzzip” as if we stung them and then fly off.  If you can imagine a couple of grown young ladies buzzing around you and then stinging you, it was hilarious!  What brought that one on, I truly don’t remember but it was fun.  Ironically, now I’m allergic to bees…

Now I have to discuss Solid Gold.  Yep another one of those shows I watched as a kid in the early 80′s.  It was kinda like a prelude to MTV.  They had their Solid Gold dancers, performing routines to pop songs.  Sometimes they would have a guest singer or group perform their hit song and little skits.  I would again, dress in my swimsuit and try to mimic their moves to the music, so when I heard the tune later on the radio, I would bust out in dance.  Well, this brings me to my final dance, which I did not make up, but has since become a classic.  Naturally it was called Solid Gold, created and executed by my friend Keith.  We were working together at the Ground Round and you know how things get started when you start joking around.  Again, I don’t know how it got started, but I believe I gave my demonstrations for Fame and Maniac, and then Keith out danced me with the best dance ever!  He was standing with his back toward me, turned his upper body around with a jazz hand in front of his face yelling Solid Gold!  Then somehow he was crawling on the floor in my direction.  Hilarious doesn’t even truly describe it!  Not only did I love Solid Gold as a kid, but he made it into such a dance that honored the show.  It was great! Over the years I’ve tried to recreate the dance but alas I don’t have the grace he extruded and his performance power.

I’ve never really seen Kyle act like this and I don’t think he will.  He’s never really wanted to act anything out or mimic a character.  He is just content building his Lego’s and playing with his cars.  Well, nowadays playing with his video games.  To each his own…